Yunqing stood beneath the corridor eaves holding a washbasin, gazing toward the pavilion in the central courtyard.
Within the pavilion, a figure surrounded by countless rays of auspicious light reclined on a long bench, stroking a trembling rabbit in his lap. In a low, gentle voice, he coaxed, “Be good. Why don’t you change into human form again and let me have a look?”
Bihua Lingjun’s entire residence was silent. The courtyard, usually strewn with spirit beasts lying in every direction, stood utterly deserted. Not a scrap of fur could be seen.
Carrying his basin, Yunqing tiptoed into an inner room. Bihua Lingjun sat alone at a table, playing chess against himself. Just as he captured a swathe of black stones, Yunqing called softly from the doorway, “My lord. The Immortal Emperor is taking the air in the garden.”
Bihua Lingjun gathered up the captured black stones. “Oh? Has he caught any of them today?”
“I believe it’s Guizhen.”
Bihua Lingjun dropped the black stones into their bowl and murmured, “Oh.”
Yunqing set down the basin, his face a picture of misery. “My lord, I asked Envoy Heyun the other day. Danxiao Palace was repaired long ago. When will His Imperial Majesty finally move there?”
Holding a chess stone between his fingers, Bihua Lingjun stared vaguely into space. “How would I know?” He raised an eyebrow at Yunqing. “Why don’t you go and ask him?”
Yunqing looked even more wretched. Rubbing his nose, he said, “My lord, His Imperial Majesty doesn’t seem to have any intention of leaving. What if he stays here for eight or ten thousand years…?”
Bihua Lingjun set another stone on the board. “Then we shall serve His Imperial Majesty here for eight or ten thousand years.”
Yunqing’s face twitched. He lowered his head and was about to withdraw when Bihua, still placing stones, added, “Go to Danxiao Palace or find Envoy Heyun. Bring somebody, anybody, to keep the Emperor entertained. Let Guizhen escape while he can.”
“Yes,” Yunqing answered weakly. He cast a miserable look at Bihua Lingjun, who was as unruffled as a boulder in the courtyard, and went out with a face full of worry.
Bihua had been hiding in his inner rooms all day for more than a day or two now. Yunqing understood his lord’s plight perfectly well. Ever since the Immortal Emperor revealed his true form and moved in, nobody in the household had enjoyed a moment’s peace.
It had happened like this. When Bihua Lingjun watched his beloved little furry bundle turn into a nearly bald quail, and the quail then turn into an ancient phoenix emperor, he abruptly discovered that his long years as an immortal had indeed brought him to a state of perfect tranquility. Nothing could disturb the calm of his heart. Apart from the stars that danced before his eyes, he felt absolutely nothing. Radiating dazzling light in every direction, Danzhu smiled kindly. “Young Immortal Bihua, why are you silent? Are you so delighted to hear that you may raise me that you’ve been struck dumb?”
Bihua Lingjun heard himself reply with the utmost respect, “I have indeed been struck dumb.”
Danzhu smiled again. “And are you excited?”
Bihua Lingjun’s expression did not change by so much as a hair, though a couple of dry chuckles emerged from his throat. “Very excited.”
When Immortal Emperor Danzhu returned to Heaven, naturally the spectacle had to be grand and his bearing magnificent. Even with no retinue but Bihua Lingjun, he could hardly dispense with proper imperial splendor.
Thus, when Bihua mounted a cloud and Song Yao and Hengwen saw them off from afar, Song Yao beaming with delight, the celestial radiance surrounding Danzhu flared as though someone had poured pig fat onto a stove fire. It blazed many times brighter. Danzhu’s figure vanished within it, leaving only a dazzling, multicolored mass trailing billowing rosy clouds and ten thousand shafts of auspicious light as it swept toward Heaven.
The brilliance illuminated the nine heavens, flooded the entire celestial realm, and dazzled the soldiers standing guard at the Heavenly Gate.
About five or six zhang short of the gate, the Immortal Emperor stopped in imposing fashion and waited with equal grandeur for Bihua to go ahead and order the soldiers aside.
Rubbing their eyes, the soldiers asked Bihua Lingjun, “My lord, where did you bring that thing brighter than the Star Lord of the Pleiades? What on earth is it?”
With a perfectly solemn face and meticulous diction, Bihua said, “Has the Jade Emperor not yet issued an edict to inform you? This is the Purple-Void Immortal Emperor, who has recovered his immortal body and returns to Heaven today. Pay your respects and stand aside at once.”
The soldiers’ mouths fell open. They retreated in a daze, and the glaring cloud of rainbow light swept past them with a whoosh. A chuckle emerged from it. “Bihua, naturally these lesser immortals cannot be expected to recognize my true form. Why frighten them by proclaiming my title? I’ve never cared much for putting on airs.”
Heaven was eerily still. Not a single celestial colleague could be seen. Bihua Lingjun understood that the Jade Emperor must have other arrangements. Danzhu gazed at the deserted realm and sounded rather lonely. “Not one little immortal has come to greet me. Does the Jade Emperor intend to stage some grand reception? Alas, a few formalities here and now would have been enough. There’s no need for too much fanfare. I’ve never liked an extravagant welcome.”
He looked down the empty cloud roads and went on, “Where should we go first? Of course! I just promised to remain your spirit beast for a while, so let us go back to your residence.”
When Bihua Lingjun brought the many-rayed Immortal Emperor home, every attendant and spirit beast in the residence was stunned.
Gazing out from his blazing aura at the rows of dumbfounded faces, Danzhu smiled with easy satisfaction. Bihua Lingjun explained with admirable brevity: “This is His Imperial Majesty Danzhu, the Purple-Void Immortal Emperor. By the Jade Emperor’s favor, I was entrusted with protecting the egg in which His Majesty resided, and was fortunate enough to contribute a little toward his rebirth. When His Majesty assumed the form of a tiger cub, our eyes were too poor to recognize his true immortal body. Today His Majesty has graciously chosen to stay in my humble residence once more. Henceforth you must serve him with utmost respect.”
Danzhu dimmed his immortal radiance slightly, revealing his graceful figure and flowing robes. “Don’t be so constrained as Bihua suggests. When I was a tiger cub, we were already well acquainted. Everything was easy and natural, and I liked it very much. You may all behave as before.”
The attendants and beasts, however, did not possess Bihua Lingjun’s cultivation or self-command. Discovering that the little Wishful Egg tiger had been the Immortal Emperor all along left them so shaken that they remained dazed for days, their eyes going wide whenever they caught sight of him.
Bihua Lingjun alone remained serenely composed, his movements impeccably steady. He respectfully ushered the Emperor into the main hall and sent Chisheng, Yunqing, and the other dizzy attendants for tea and fruit. Danzhu said, “Bihua, why have you suddenly become so formal? I told you just now, you may treat me exactly as you did before. Relax a little.”
Bihua Lingjun answered immediately, “I’m not being unduly formal. I merely fear giving offense. If Your Imperial Majesty wishes this humble immortal to be more at ease, I shall be more at ease.”
Danzhu picked an apricot from the fruit plate and began to peel it. “Are you angry because I tricked you by pretending to be a tiger cub all that time?”
Bihua Lingjun smiled at once. “How could I be?”
They had not been in the hall long before the Jade Emperor finally made his move. The Supreme Lord Lao, Taibai Jinxing, several other senior immortals, Envoy Heyun and a large procession of celestial attendants arrived in great splendor to escort the Purple-Void Immortal Emperor to Lingxiao Hall.
Bihua Lingjun accompanied them. Smiling, the Jade Emperor praised him. “Bihua, you deserve a great deal of credit for the Immortal Emperor’s return to Heaven. In a few days I shall issue an edict rewarding you. If there is anything you desire, you need only ask.”
Standing perfectly upright, Bihua Lingjun replied in a smooth, even voice, “To receive Your Majesty’s favor and be allowed to render even a small service to the Immortal Emperor and Heaven is honor enough. I dare request no reward. I respectfully leave everything to Your Majesty’s discretion, as always.”
Danzhu sat off to one side of the hall, smiling broadly as he chatted with the Jade Emperor. “After so many years,” the Jade Emperor asked, “what do you think of Heaven as it is today?”
“Very fine,” Danzhu replied. “Your skill at governing Heaven has improved wonderfully. It is much better than it was in the old days. And so many of the younger immortals are outstanding. I’m very fond of them.”
In a secluded corner of Heaven, Emperor Donghua finally intercepted Bihua Lingjun. With a sincerely apologetic expression, he said, “Bihua, I owe you an apology. It’s true that the Jade Emperor ordered me to help him lure you into raising the Wishful Egg. But I honestly thought it was a genuine Wishful Egg, too. I knew how much you liked that sort of thing, so I played the trick on you. I knew absolutely nothing about the Purple-Void Immortal Emperor.”
Only then did a truly wretched expression cross Bihua Lingjun’s face. He sighed. “I know. You sometimes play little tricks on your immortal friends, but you’d never be so disloyal as to draw me into a plot that big. Still, I was caught in the trap. It’s too late now, however you look at it.”
Emperor Donghua lowered his voice. “When does His Imperial Majesty intend to move out of your residence?”
Bihua Lingjun’s expression stiffened. “How would I know? Presumably His Imperial Majesty will leave when he finally gets bored.”
Emperor Donghua looked at him with sympathy and pity, stroking his beard and shaking his head. “I, too, wondered why His Imperial Majesty seems so different from the descriptions in the historical records…”
Every record of Danzhu in Heaven’s archives described him as an Immortal Emperor of lofty character, transcendent bearing, and impeccable propriety. His heroic sacrifice in burning the demon race and himself in battle only enhanced the tragic grandeur of his legend. Every immortal who read about him felt admiration well up unbidden.
Emperor Donghua said, “Over the past two days, I asked several senior lords about it… Alas, only now have they told me the truth. His Imperial Majesty’s character didn’t change because he turned back into an egg. All those habits and manners were his true nature tens of thousands of years ago… But after he immolated the demons, when his life was recorded for posterity, it seemed rather inappropriate to include his fondness for pursuing beauties and the suspicion that he also enjoyed… ahem… Longyang. The Jade Emperor felt that since Danzhu had sacrificed himself for Heaven, he ought to look magnificent in the records, at least…”
Bihua Lingjun frowned, his expression growing darker. “What did you say His Imperial Majesty liked, besides pursuing beauties?”
Donghua lowered his voice even further. “They suspected he had a taste for Longyang… meaning men, like Song Yao and Hengwen… Longyang is a term from the mortal world, but surely you know what it means…”
Bihua Lingjun departed in heavy silence.
Emperor Donghua strolled around Heaven for a while to clear his mind. Presently he saw Yunqing, one of Bihua’s young attendants, hurrying toward him with something tucked under his arm.
Donghua stepped into his path and asked with a cheerful smile, “Has your lord sent you to Envoy Heyun with a message? It must have been quite a commotion at your residence since the Purple-Void Immortal Emperor arrived.”
Yunqing looked ready to cry. “Your Majesty has no idea. Every day the Immortal Emperor summons the spirit beasts, insists on petting and hugging them, then demands that they change into human form. I think they’re all frightened of him, and they’re not used to such treatment, so they keep hiding. Sometimes you really don’t know how to serve him. For days he’s been saying that my lord used to sleep with him, and since he’s still my lord’s spirit beast, he insists on sharing his bed again. Otherwise he says my lord must bear a grudge against him for the tiger-cub deception. How could my lord refuse? So every night they’ve been sleeping in the same room and in the same bed. Tangdi says the rest of them have only had to endure being stroked and hugged. That’s nothing compared with my lord’s suffering, having to sleep beside him.”
Elio’s Notes:
Longyang (龙阳) is a classical euphemism for attraction between men, drawn from the story of Lord Longyang and the King of Wei in the Strategies of the Warring States.
A zhang (丈) is a traditional unit of length, roughly 3.3 meters. The Heavenly Gate is still a short distance away when Danzhu pauses.