Lu Sili noticed that Su Yuan seemed distracted while buying groceries. Right now, he had been holding a head of broccoli and staring at it for a full minute.
“Su Yuan?” Lu Sili pushed the cart over and finally could not resist patting his shoulder.
He was starting to worry that something had happened and Su Yuan simply had not told him.
“Huh?” Su Yuan came back to himself, glanced at Lu Sili, then dropped the broccoli straight into the cart.
Lu Sili said, “Put it in a bag first. It needs to be weighed.”
“Oh, right.” Su Yuan took the broccoli back out and, for some inexplicable reason, smiled.
Lu Sili found him genuinely strange and tilted his head to ask seriously, “What’s wrong? Is something going on?”
Su Yuan looked at Lu Sili’s rosy lips so close in front of him. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he said, “Doing that at Grandma’s house… isn’t that a little inappropriate?”
Lu Sili said, “…”
Su Yuan said, “What if we’re too loud…”
Lu Sili said, “…Then we won’t do it.”
With that, Lu Sili pretended to push the cart away. Su Yuan hurried after him and called in a lowered voice, “That’s not what I meant!”
After hearing those words come out of Su Yuan’s mouth, Lu Sili felt as though the two of them were walking through the supermarket naked. He kept imagining that everyone around them had heard the conversation.
The two guilty men did not finally breathe easy until they had left the supermarket.
When they got home, Grandma was tending her flowers and plants in the courtyard. Lu Sili called out to her. She glanced over, ignored him, and kept fertilizing her potted plants.
“I’ve already started dinner,” Uncle Zou said.
Lu Sili said okay, then snatched the hawthorn berries they had bought at the supermarket from Su Yuan and continued trying to win Grandma over. Pitching his voice sweetly, he said, “Grandma, I’ll make you candied hawthorn later, okay?”
Grandma did not even look at him. “Talk normally. Do you think I’m three years old?”
Lu Sili was rebuffed but gritted his teeth and held on. When he turned and saw Su Yuan and Uncle Zou secretly laughing, he immediately redirected his irritation toward Su Yuan and punched his solid biceps.
By dinnertime, Fiona was back too. Usually, even when the two of them met at home they would talk about work, but Lu Sili did not bring it up today. Fiona, on the other hand, could not sit still.
“Why aren’t you asking me why I got off work so early?” Fiona asked.
The two of them were standing beside Grandma’s display cabinet, which had acquired several new objects. Lu Sili leaned closer to examine a bowl whose color looked very much like the cup he had stolen last time.
“Am I the kind of boss who interrogates employees for leaving work early?”
Fiona laughed without answering directly and changed the subject. “What are we going to do if Teacher keeps refusing to forgive you?”
Lu Sili said, “There’s nothing I can do. I’m still having the surgery.”
It was the first time Lu Sili, who had always avoided the subject before, answered the question head-on.
“Do you think this bowl is pretty?”
“Pretty.”
“I think so too.”
Dinner was soon ready.
Grandma’s household used to have an auntie who cooked specifically for them. Later, that auntie retired and went back to her hometown. Grandma was getting older and did not want a new stranger moving into the house. With her daughter and grandson both away, only she and Uncle Zou lived there, so they simply cooked for themselves.
Now that Lu Sili and Su Yuan had moved in recently, Su Yuan had taken over breakfast and dinner. His cooking was no worse than Uncle Zou’s or Grandma’s, and he made a wider variety of dishes.
“The candied hawthorn is done too. I’m letting it cool.” Su Yuan removed his apron and came out of the kitchen.
Lu Sili and Fiona stood beside the dining table serving rice while Grandma and Uncle Zou sat down.
Ordinarily, this would have been a warm domestic scene. But Grandma currently found everything irritating, and seeing Fiona still chatting and laughing with Lu Sili only made her angrier.
“One after another. This one won’t have children, that one won’t date. Xue Mingxuan, are you planning to go your whole life without falling in love?” Grandma demanded.
Fiona froze. How had the artillery fire suddenly shifted onto her?
She explained, “I do want to date, Teacher. I just haven’t met anyone suitable yet.”
Lu Sili gently set a bowl of rice in front of Grandma, then silently sat down, wishing he could make no sound at all.
He glanced at Su Yuan and found that Su Yuan was shrinking into himself even more than he was.
Grandma said, “Wasn’t that male teacher I introduced you to last time perfectly good?”
Fiona looked troubled. “He’s too stiff. So boring… Good morning, good night, every day like clocking in. I already clock in at the office every day.”
“What’s wrong with that? He’s an honest man with a stable job, and he’s considerate too. Look at Su Yuan. Isn’t he perfectly good?” Grandma said as she picked up some food.
Lu Sili said, “Su Yuan isn’t boring.”
Su Yuan froze, then gave a stiff little smile.
Grandma looked up at Lu Sili, could not be bothered with him, and turned back to continue introducing potential dates to Fiona.
With the battle now spreading to Fiona, Lu Sili and Su Yuan watched from across the river and did not dare speak. Afterward, Lu Sili privately promised to reimburse Fiona for one vacation as compensation for the emotional damage she had suffered that evening.
After dinner, Fiona went home. Grandma wanted to take a walk, so Lu Sili and Su Yuan followed her.
They could not go on like this. Lu Sili steeled himself, went up to Grandma, and linked his arm through hers. “Grandma.”
Grandma said nothing, but she did not shake him off either.
“Can you stop being angry? I’ve already started handing some of my work over little by little. I’m going to take good care of myself and get healthy.” Lu Sili summoned one hundred percent of his gentleness and patience.
Grandma turned to look at him. She probably wanted to bring up the surgery, but the moment her eyes met Lu Sili’s, the words on her lips did not come out.
Still holding Grandma’s arm, Lu Sili said, “Don’t you just want me to be healthy and happy? I’m trying. Having children isn’t the only way to be happy. Su Yuan and I really love each other, Grandma.”
Even though Grandma had seen the contract-marriage agreement, she could still tell that Lu Sili and Su Yuan loved each other.
She said nothing. She only looked at the sunset along the edge of the city and sighed softly.
Outside the villa district was a running path that circled the mountain. Lu Sili used to cycle there often. He no longer did, but other teenage boys and girls now came in groups to ride there together.
Grandma gently slipped her arm out of Lu Sili’s and looked at Su Yuan. “Let’s rest up ahead.”
“Okay, Grandma.” Su Yuan came forward too, walking beside Grandma with Lu Sili on her other side.
There was a small lookout platform beside the road where one could watch the evening glow and the city lights. Grandma often walked there.
When the three of them arrived, people were already there: five or six students, bicycles set off to the side, school-uniform jackets draped over the railing. They were eating burgers and fried chicken together while watching the sunset.
Lu Sili and Su Yuan’s attention was drawn to them, and Grandma looked over too.
“Kids all love eating this sort of thing. Lili loved it when he was little too,” Grandma said, turning to Su Yuan.
Su Yuan smiled. “Really?”
Lu Sili murmured, “I guess…”
Grandma sat down on the bench. Remembering something, she smiled faintly and said, “I remember one time, back when he was in high school. One afternoon I was at an event at school when Lili suddenly called and asked me to transfer him three thousand yuan because he wanted to buy food. I was terrified and thought someone was extorting him. He said he wanted to treat his whole class to McDonald’s. I only half believed him, but I sent the money. When he got home that night, he told me everyone had returned from an extracurricular activity and wanted something to eat. Someone suggested McDonald’s, and he noticed one classmate seemed embarrassed because he didn’t have any money. Lili wanted to buy food for him, but he was afraid the boy would feel uncomfortable, and he was also afraid the other students would find out and the boy would feel inferior. So Lili announced that he was treating the entire class. That way, that student wouldn’t feel embarrassed.”
At this point, Grandma burst out laughing and looked up at Su Yuan. “You see this kid? Sometimes he’s actually very thoughtful.”
Su Yuan lowered his eyes slightly, then looked up at Lu Sili. “He is.”
Lu Sili, however, frowned faintly. “Did that really happen?”
“It did,” Su Yuan answered before anyone else could. Old memories seemed to move in his eyes.
On that bright, sunny afternoon, a bespectacled Beta boy with only eleven yuan in his pocket had been secretly comparing prices on the menu to see what he could afford when his gaze met that of Lu Sili, the most popular student in the class. Then Lu Sili loudly announced that his parents had rewarded him for coming second on the midterm exam and said he would treat everyone to McDonald’s.
For many of their classmates, a meal at McDonald’s was nothing special, and they would not have thought of it as some great favor. But for Su Yuan, it had been the pride of a teenage boy. Nor could he call his aunt, who was working so hard, and ask her for money at a moment like that.
Lu Sili had protected the dignity of that boy who had once felt as insignificant as dust.
Even though Lu Sili probably did not even remember his name back then.
Lu Sili stood beside the railing with both hands in his pockets and thought and thought, but only a few fragments surfaced. He smiled and said, “I think I vaguely remember that. If that’s the case, were you there that day too?”
Su Yuan nodded. His smile was gentle, and gratitude shone in his eyes.
Lu Sili looked at Su Yuan, puzzled by the look in his eyes. Then his lips parted slightly in sudden realization.
He could not remember which classmate it had been, but there had been very few students in their class from families with poor financial circumstances. Someone inconspicuous and not well-off was not difficult to match to the memory.
Su Yuan nodded lightly, then placed his index finger against his lips, signaling that there was no need to say it in front of Grandma.
The evening glow fell across the side of Su Yuan’s face. Lu Sili tilted his head slightly and studied him, half in light and half in shadow, his tenderness impossible to hide. Suddenly Lu Sili remembered evenings from their school days: the thin boy who was always slightly hunched, silently doing classroom duty at the far end of the corridor. Backlit, he had been no more than a dark silhouette. Lu Sili quickened his pace and ran toward him, and when the boy raised his head, it was thirty-year-old Su Yuan.
Then Su Yuan’s figure began surfacing in one fragment of memory after another.
The boy who had ordered only one grilled-chicken burger meal and quietly said thank you as he passed Lu Sili.
Lu Sili smiled and reached for Su Yuan’s hand.
They smiled at each other and said nothing more, simply watching the distant sunset.
Once Grandma started talking about Lu Sili as a child, she had endless stories. She missed the boy who had once been like a little sun. Occasionally, when she mentioned how healthy and strong he had been, or the careers he had wanted when he grew up, she would carefully watch Lu Sili’s expression.
But Lu Sili only smiled and sometimes even added a comment of his own.
Dear Grandma, I’m sorry I can’t live according to your expectations, but I finally have the courage to keep moving forward.
After they returned from the walk, Grandma was in a much better mood. She turned on the television and announced that she wanted to rewatch her favorite drama, The Grand Mansion Gate.
“I’m going back to the room first, Grandma. You should sleep early too,” Su Yuan suddenly said as he stood.
Lu Sili looked at the clock alertly. Nine o’clock. Wasn’t that far too early?
Grandma looked surprised too. “What’s wrong, Xiao Su? Are you feeling unwell?”
Su Yuan explained, “No. I’m just a little sleepy.”
Grandma looked concerned. “All right. You must be exhausted from the last few days. Go rest.”
Grandma caught the look the two of them exchanged before Su Yuan turned away, and Lu Sili immediately looked guilty and turned back to the television.
Grandma frowned. “What’s going on with you two?”
Lu Sili hurriedly waved his hand. “Nothing.”
“If you’re sleepy, you should go to bed too.” Grandma looked Lu Sili up and down, then asked uncertainly, “You two really aren’t having a problem?”
Lu Sili said firmly, “We’re fine.”
Grandma said, “Then stay and watch two more episodes with me.”
Lu Sili’s eyes were on The Grand Mansion Gate, but his mind was on Red Sorghum. He suffered through two and a half episodes before Grandma finally got sleepy.
Lu Sili escorted Grandma back to her room to rest, then hurried upstairs.
They had been sleeping in Lu Sili’s room lately, so the second floor finally felt a little lived-in. Lu Sili gently pushed the door open and found only a small bedside lamp glowing. Su Yuan’s book and glasses lay on the nightstand, and he was already asleep.
It was already after eleven. Lu Sili sighed softly, then tiptoed through a shower and his bedtime routine.
In the dim light, Su Yuan’s features looked sharply defined. Wearing his pajamas, Lu Sili gently lifted the blanket and slipped inside. Supporting himself on one arm, he leaned over, intending to give Su Yuan a light kiss on the cheek.
They had not been intimate for a long time. Lu Sili closed his eyes, but the instant his lips touched Su Yuan’s cheek, two large hands caught him around the waist.
“Ah!” Lu Sili let out a soft cry. Before he could react, he was already straddling Su Yuan.
“Weren’t you asleep?”
Su Yuan smiled with a touch of wickedness and gave a small upward roll of his hips, making Lu Sili feel exactly how awake he was.
“How could I possibly sleep?”
Lu Sili braced both hands against Su Yuan’s chest and turned his face aside. “You scared me on purpose and made me cry out. What if Grandma heard?”
“So I can’t make you cry out tonight?”
“Of course not.”
Lu Sili leaned over Su Yuan and, unable to resist, traced the bridge of his nose with one finger. “Not a single sound.”
Su Yuan lightly bit the finger as it passed his lips, and Lu Sili let out another tiny sound.
Su Yuan said, “You love making noise this much. What are we supposed to do?”
Lu Sili said, “I…”
“I have an idea,” Su Yuan said softly, looking so gentle and considerate that it was almost as though he were genuinely offering Lu Sili a sensible solution.
But his hands kept kneading Lu Sili’s ass. After failing several times to avoid them, Lu Sili refused to be outdone and reached back too.
Lu Sili’s gaze turned teasing. “What?”
Su Yuan said, “We can just block your mouth.”
“Fine.” Lu Sili pulled his hand back and leaned down to kiss him.
But Su Yuan pushed him away, then leaned close to Lu Sili’s ear and whispered, “Not like that…”