Once June began, final exams officially started. One exam followed another until everyone was exhausted and dizzy. Every so often, Shao Wu went to see Chen Yimang. They would chat, eat, or simply walk around Sichuan Fine Arts. The campus had a strong artistic atmosphere. Along the main road, round ceramic jars were embedded in the brick walls on both sides. The pond was thick with green lotus leaves, with blossoms swaying among them, while the teaching buildings were densely covered in ivy and slick moss grew over the ground. June was also rainy, leaving the whole campus wrapped in damp mist like some deep tropical forest.
The day Shao Wu finished his final major-course exam, he and Chen Yimang went to Shengshengman again. It looked the same as ever: pounding music, wild dancing, all kinds of men losing themselves on the dance floor. Shao Wu sat upstairs sipping juice and watched Chen Yimang rest his slender fingers on the shoulder of a stranger. The two of them pressed closer and closer, until their chests and hips were pressed together.
Then they went to the restroom together. Before long, Chen Yimang came back.
Shao Wu asked quietly, “Just now, you two…”
“Just with our hands.” Chen Yimang was still breathing slightly fast, but his eyes were languid. “Just fooling around a little. You think we’d actually go further? You’re still here, after all.”
Shao Wu had been about to say You don’t need to worry about me, but the words felt strange before they even left his mouth, as though he were encouraging Chen Yimang’s casual hookups.
“Going home for summer break?” Chen Yimang asked.
“Probably.”
“That’s good.” Chen Yimang smiled. “I’m going to Shanghai.”
“For modeling?” Shao Wu knew Chen Yimang had been doing part-time modeling lately.
“Mm. There are more events there, and the old man has a conference in Shanghai, so I’m going with him.”
“Oh…”
The two of them left Shengshengman and took a taxi back to campus.
Sometimes Shao Wu could not understand it. Chen Yimang had two hands and two feet, could draw, and was good-looking. It was not as though he could not earn money. His modeling jobs alone could bring in several thousand yuan a month. So why did he still stay with that “old man”? Had he grown so used to that kind of life that it was difficult to change? Or… Shao Wu remembered Chen Yimang pushing his hips toward the stranger on the dance floor… or did none of it matter to him anymore? Being kept or not being kept, who kept him, perhaps none of it mattered anymore.
It seemed as though their world did not need values, principles, much less sincerity or love. Pleasure was everything.
At the beginning of July, summer break began, and Shao Wu went to Southwest University again.
He had not been there for more than a month. It was almost funny. In the past, although he always found respectable excuses to see Yang Shuyi, once Yang Shuyi started dating someone, Shao Wu somehow no longer dared to go see him. It was not that he did not want to. He was afraid. Yang Shuyi was someone else’s boyfriend now. No matter what excuse Shao Wu used to meet him, it felt like doing something wrong. In the end, he simply could not get past his own feelings.
Other than Chen Yimang, who even knew about this love of his that could not be brought into the light?
When Shao Wu reached Southwest University, he first had a meal with Zhu Jingjing. The moment they met, Zhu Jingjing walked a circle around him. “You look thinner?”
Shao Wu touched his chin. “Do I? Maybe because of finals.”
“Yeah, probably.” Zhu Jingjing shrugged. “You have no idea what a sadist one of our major-course professors is. He insists on failing five percent of the class, says it’s a university quota.”
Shao Wu stared at her. “There’s actually a quota like that?”
“There is. The School of Geographical Sciences is even worse. I heard the vice president of their student union almost failed a course. Luckily Yang Shuyi went to plead with the professor. Oh…” Zhu Jingjing lowered her voice. “That vice president is Yang Shuyi’s girlfriend. You know he’s dating someone now, right?”
Shao Wu nodded. “I know. I’ve seen the girl… short hair, right?”
“Right. She’s pretty, and I heard she’s really capable too. She’s only in the second semester of sophomore year and she’s already vice president.”
“Mm,” Shao Wu said. “That’s great.”
Shao Wu had thought he had already accepted that Yang Shuyi was dating someone. But apparently, whenever someone else mentioned it, his heart still tightened into a ball. It did not hurt. It only felt as though it might split apart.
Zhu Jingjing said with great feeling, “Back in high school, who would’ve guessed Yang Shuyi would be this popular? I heard, just heard, that his girlfriend’s roommate likes him too. Apparently his girlfriend even changed dorm rooms because of it.”
Shao Wu thought the “roommate” must be that “Zhiruo,” the girl with the round eyes.
“And do you know what else?” Zhu Jingjing looked delighted by the gossip. “His girlfriend is from Beijing. Beijing household registration, and her family is supposedly loaded. There used to be a guy in our school chasing her who was even richer than she was. He drove a Bentley to class. She completely ignored him, and the poor guy was heartbroken. Then she got together with Yang Shuyi. Apparently she was the one who chased him.”
Shao Wu forced out a smile. “Yang Shuyi is that popular?”
“No idea.” Zhu Jingjing shrugged again. “Maybe our university just doesn’t have enough men.”
Talking as they walked, the two of them entered the cafeteria. It was only five, so there were not many people inside. Shao Wu was just about to ask Zhu Jingjing whether they should eat on the first floor or the second when he suddenly met a pair of eyes so familiar he could never mistake them.
Yang Shuyi was sitting at a table holding a number slip, obviously waiting for their food. Across from him sat a girl with short hair.
“Huh?” Zhu Jingjing froze, her voice turning a little unnatural. “Yang Shuyi.”
“Long time no see,” Yang Shuyi greeted her, then immediately looked at Shao Wu. “What are you doing here?”
“I…” Shao Wu did not know why Yang Shuyi had asked it that way. Embarrassed, he said, “I came to see Jingjing… Finals are over, you know.”
“Oh, right.” Yang Shuyi seemed to notice that his question had sounded a little strange and changed the subject. “Want to eat together?”
“…Sure.”
And so, somehow, dinner ended up being the four of them together.
Yang Shuyi’s girlfriend was named Zou Xin. She was from Beijing and spoke crisp, standard Mandarin. She really was attractive: narrow double-lidded eyes, a straight nose, pointed chin, and a white Comme des Garçons T-shirt. Her beauty was the clean, confident kind.
Very seriously, she picked all the strips of green pepper from her plate and placed them in Yang Shuyi’s bowl. Her tone was a little bossy but very intimate. “Eat all of them. No wasting food.”
Yang Shuyi looked at her and smiled. “Okay.”
Shao Wu wanted to ask whether Yang Shuyi was going home for summer break, but somehow he could not get the words out.
Yang Shuyi was the one who asked first. “When are you two going home?”
“Next week,” Zhu Jingjing said. “There’s a competition. I have to go to Chengdu the day after tomorrow.”
“I… haven’t decided yet. Probably sometime in the next few days.”
“Hey.” Zou Xin blinked. “You two aren’t going back together?”
Shao Wu said, “Huh?”
Yang Shuyi shook his head. “Those two… are friends.”
“Oh.” Zou Xin smiled. “Sorry.”
Only then did Shao Wu realize Zou Xin had mistaken him and Zhu Jingjing for a couple. Him? How could that be? Ning Xiao and Chen Yimang had both said it was obvious he was gay, that other gay men could tell at a glance. So maybe only other gay men could tell. Shao Wu remembered Ning Xiao once bragging about his gaydar, saying, “Straight or gay, I can smell it on a man.”
It was as though people like them carried some particular scent. What kind of scent? The smell of pleasure. The smell of bodily fluids. The fishy smell of sexual excess, rank and foul. Shao Wu thought, a rank stench.
After they finished eating, students had to take their trays and chopsticks to the collection area. Shao Wu watched Zou Xin simply push her tray and chopsticks forward until they were beside Yang Shuyi’s hand.
And Yang Shuyi, completely used to it, carried both hers and his own over to return them.
He stood, and Zou Xin’s eyes followed him until he had returned the dishes and came back.
“We’ll get going first,” Yang Shuyi said with a smile. “We need to stop by the library. We left some things there.”
“Mm.” Zhu Jingjing nodded. “Bye.”
Yang Shuyi naturally took Zou Xin’s hand. Shao Wu heard him ask quietly, “Why is your hand so cold?”
Zou Xin complained, “The cafeteria air-conditioning is freezing.”
“Yang Shuyi!” Shao Wu suddenly stood up.
“Mm?”
“You…” Shao Wu paused for two seconds. Two seconds that felt like two centuries. Then he gave Yang Shuyi a lighthearted smile. “Are you going back to Yongchuan for summer break? I have an assignment for my minor and wanted to ask you some things.”
“He’s not going back,” Zou Xin said, swinging their joined hands. “Our professor has a project, and the two of us are staying to help.”
Yang Shuyi nodded. “Right. If you have questions, you can text me. Email is fine too.”
“Mm, okay.” Shao Wu was still smiling. “Sorry to trouble you.”
Yang Shuyi said warmly, “Why are you being polite with me? All right, we’ll go first.”
“Mm. Bye.”