Shao Wu pushed Chen Yimang away, using a little force. “Let’s forget it.”
“Then forget it,” Chen Yimang said simply. His tone was calm and his eyes clear, as though everything that had just happened were only a dream.
Shao Wu was still sitting there dazed, holding the melted ice cream, while Chen Yimang had already stood up and pulled off his T-shirt without the slightest awkwardness. He complained, “Just put this on today, and now I have to wash it again.”
Then he went straight into the bathroom.
A few minutes later, he came out wearing only a pair of loose shorts, his slippers slapping against the floor. “Want to rinse off too?”
Chen Yimang had very fair skin, and with his upper body bare he seemed almost luminous. The two of them had just kissed, though neither of them seemed to have felt much… Shao Wu still turned his face away, a little embarrassed. “Mm, sure… but…”
“I don’t have any new underwear here,” Chen Yimang said. “I’ll lend you a pair of shorts. Wear them without anything underneath.”
Shao Wu said, “…”
By the time Shao Wu came out of the shower, Chen Yimang was already sprawled casually across the sofa, one leg crossed over the other, staring into space. The television was on, but the volume was so low it seemed to be there only for company.
Shao Wu walked over and asked, “Aren’t you going to dry your hair?”
“Hm?” Chen Yimang laughed. “You’re pretty particular.”
“No. I usually don’t dry mine either, but yours is… so long. If you sleep with it wet, you’ll catch a cold.”
“I’m too lazy. It’s so long it takes forever.”
“I’ll do it for you.”
Chen Yimang raised his eyebrows. “Sure. The hair dryer’s in the TV cabinet. Bring it over.”
Shao Wu went to get it. Chen Yimang sat up, and Shao Wu stood behind him drying his hair. Chen Yimang’s hair was very fine but a little rough. As Shao Wu worked, he heard Chen Yimang ask, “Am I losing a lot?”
“Not too much…”
“I’ve dyed it twice this year.” Chen Yimang sighed. “Every time I dye it, it falls out like crazy.”
Shao Wu lifted a section of his hair and held the dryer farther away, directing the air at the roots.
“If it falls out that badly, stop dyeing it.”
“No way. The old man likes this color lately. He’s got issues.”
Shao Wu said, “…”
So the rumors Du Si and the others had talked about were true.
“Oh, don’t worry,” Chen Yimang said blandly. “I don’t have anything. I’m perfectly healthy.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Mm. Did I scare you?”
“Not… a little.”
“Sor—”
A knock at the door cut Chen Yimang off. He stood, grabbed the wallet on the coffee table, and opened the door.
A middle-aged man stood outside wearing an apron, carrying a plastic bag. “Having another late-night snack?”
Chen Yimang took the bag, pulled a hundred-yuan bill from his wallet, and handed it over. “No need for change. Keep the balance as credit for next time.”
“All right,” the man said.
After shutting the door, Chen Yimang called to Shao Wu, “Forget the hair. Come eat barbecue.”
He found a glass fruit platter in the kitchen and emptied the sizzling barbecue onto it. The sharp, spicy aroma instantly filled the apartment. Shao Wu picked up a skewer of grilled squid and watched Chen Yimang hold a black hair tie between his teeth, quickly gathering his hair into a ponytail. Then he sat across from Shao Wu, picked up a squid skewer of his own, and took a huge bite.
Chen Yimang ate with his legs spread, the ends of his half-wet hair still dripping. He did not seem to care at all. Shao Wu suddenly thought that Chen Yimang was really just an ordinary boy.
After finishing one squid skewer, Chen Yimang’s lips were bright red from the spice. Holding up a skewer of beef, he said to Shao Wu, “I was about to apologize earlier.”
Shao Wu blinked. “Huh?”
“Did I scare you?” Chen Yimang lowered his eyes. “I shouldn’t have asked you to ‘try it’ with me. Someone like me… you and I aren’t really the same kind of person.”
Shao Wu hurriedly shook his head. “Don’t say that.”
“I mean it. Me, I’m already like this anyway.” Chen Yimang took a bite of beef and immediately stuck out his tongue. “So spicy. Shao Wu, you really do remind me of my little brother.”
“Your real brother?”
“Mm. Three years younger than me. Back then my mom brought both of us to Chongqing with her. Later… later I got a boyfriend and she found out. She threw me out.”
Chen Yimang said it as though it were nothing, but Shao Wu’s heart contracted sharply. “How… how old were you then?”
“Second year of middle school.” Chen Yimang took another bite of beef, his voice slightly muffled. “Honestly, I don’t really blame my mom. She was broke then, and with the two of us kids weighing her down, she couldn’t remarry. After I left home, she took my brother with her and got married not long after.”
Shao Wu was silent for a moment before asking quietly, “What happened after that?”
“After that I met the old man. He’s a businessman. He paid to keep me and put me through school.”
“How does he… treat you?”
“Fine, I guess.” Chen Yimang smiled, his tone completely casual. “It’s basically a business deal. I sleep with him, he gives me money. Other than being old, there’s nothing much wrong with him.”
Shao Wu nodded to show he understood.
The whole thing felt almost absurd. He was sitting in this huge living room with the air conditioner running, eating barbecue while Chen Yimang talked in that indifferent tone about things like that. To Shao Wu, those things belonged to another world, yet suddenly that world was right beside him, close enough to touch. He could not understand it. Were people like them, gay people, simply supposed to live this way?
They ate and talked, moving from Chen Yimang’s life in Chongqing to his hometown. It turned out he was from Zhong County. Shao Wu had heard of the place; many people there left home for migrant work, and a great number of migrant workers came from Zhong County.
Chen Yimang had ordered too much barbecue. They could not finish it, so he put the leftovers in the refrigerator. It was one of those large double-door models, but unfortunately almost empty. Apart from the barbecue he had just put inside, there were only a few cans of beer.
Chen Yimang took out two cans and handed one to Shao Wu. It was late, and a light rain had begun to fall. They switched off the lights and watched through the glass door as raindrops fell onto the balcony and wet the pots of aloe vera. Chen Yimang murmured to himself, “Night rain on Mount Ba.” Shao Wu looked at him, and Chen Yimang smiled. “When I was in high school, Chinese was my favorite subject. Oh, and I actually chose my own name. Back then, our Chinese teacher was really handsome… He loved Su Shi. He spent three whole days teaching Rhapsody on the Red Cliffs.”
Elio’s Notes: “Night rain on Mount Ba” echoes Li Shangyin’s famous poem Night Rain Sent North (夜雨寄北), a line strongly associated with rainy Sichuan nights and longing across distance.
The beer was a little bitter and a little cold. Shao Wu took a sip and asked, “And then?”
“Then I graduated.”
“…”
“What about you?” Chen Yimang leaned against the sofa and casually crossed his legs. “What are you planning to do? That straight guy of yours has a girlfriend now. You can’t just keep wasting away like this.”
Shao Wu looked at the fine rain on the balcony. “I don’t know… My parents want me to go abroad for graduate school. I don’t want to.”
“Going abroad sounds great. I heard gay people in America even dare to kiss on the street. No idea if that’s true.”
“I told my parents I want to do graduate school in China. My grades should be enough for a postgraduate recommendation…”
“A postgraduate recommendation?”
“It means getting recommended directly into graduate school, without taking the entrance exam.” Shao Wu took another sip of beer. “It mainly depends on your ranking. If you’re in the top five of the year, you’re basically safe. And you can’t fail any courses or violate school rules or discipline… none of that is a problem for me.”
Chen Yimang clicked his tongue. “Of course, Mister 631 on the gaokao. Then what? Stay in China for graduate school and keep following him? When he gets married someday, are you going to show up with a wedding gift too?”
Shao Wu closed his eyes. “I don’t know.”
Chen Yimang sighed softly. “You idiot.”
Later they talked about other things. At some point while talking, they both fell asleep. When Shao Wu woke the next morning, Chen Yimang had already gone out. There was a note on the table: The old man wants me to go out with him for the day. Please close the windows when you leave. We’ll be in touch.
Shao Wu changed back into yesterday’s clothes, tidied the apartment a little, then went to Bandeng Noodle House for a bowl of noodles before taking a taxi back to school.
The ground was already dry, with no trace of the rain from the night before. The morning was not yet very hot. Shao Wu sat in the taxi with the window rolled down, letting the morning breeze lightly lift the stray hair over his forehead.
Only belatedly did he realize that his twentieth birthday had simply passed like that.