Three days remained until New Year’s Eve. When Mai Ding opened his eyes, the hour hand was already pointing at ten. He had barely slept the night before, so oversleeping like this was rare for him. He reached toward the space beside him and felt the already cold blanket, then sat up. The room was warm with the air conditioner running. Barefoot, Mai Ding stood on the floor and stared blankly at the wardrobe. Ten minutes later, he finally chose a set of black clothes and put them on. The empty room held only him. Even the sounds of brushing his teeth and running water seemed unusually clear. After washing up, he stood blankly in front of the mirror for another while, turned off the air conditioner, grabbed his keys, and went out.
It was bitterly cold outside, the wind cutting against him again and again. Unlike usual, Mai Ding did not wrap his clothes tightly around himself. He ignored the cold. At a flower shop he bought a bouquet of white flowers, unable to tell what kind they were or what they symbolized, then boarded a bus. There were many people on the bus, but very few were headed to the same destination as him. The gravestones in the cemetery looked lonely. The dead and the living reacted very differently to the arrival of a new year.
An Zi Yan stood in front of Grandpa’s gravestone with both hands tucked into his coat pockets. He said nothing, only looked at the photograph on the stone. Mai Ding stopped a short distance away. He believed Grandpa and Grandma were doing well in another world. He had already come to terms with Grandpa’s death and let go of it, but did that make him seem heartless? Had An Zi Yan let go? Mai Ding tried to catch something in his expression, but found nothing.
“When did you get here?”
“Just now.” Mai Ding took a few steps forward and placed the flowers in front of the grave. “Grandpa, I came to see you. Look at me. Have I gotten more handsome? Am I more handsome than An Zi Yan now?” He half squatted, then looked back. “What did you say to Grandpa?”
“Nothing.”
“Why?”
“I told you before. Talking to a piece of stone is stupid.” And yet you got up early on a winter morning just to come see a piece of stone. Mai Ding thought it but did not say it. He grinned mischievously at An Zi Yan. “You already think I love doing stupid things anyway, so it doesn’t matter. I have plenty to tell Grandpa.” Mai Ding kept talking to Grandpa’s photograph. When squatting became tiring, he simply sat down. He believed Grandpa could hear him. He definitely could. An Zi Yan stood behind Mai Ding the whole time, staring at the pale back of Mai Ding’s neck. He did not interrupt, and he did not scold him for any of the stupid things he said. One after another, An Su, An Xun, Wu Xin, and the others arrived too. The area in front of the grave gradually became lively.
“Come stay at our place for a few days. You hardly spent any time with your parents last year, did you? I already had someone go pick them up too.” The person saying something so considerate was none other than Wu Xin. Mai Ding hurriedly waved his hands. “You don’t need to worry about them. That’s too much trouble.”
“What trouble? We’re all family.” Her warmth made Mai Ding feel warm even in the middle of winter. He stopped refusing. “All right, then.” An Zi Yan glanced at Wu Xin but said nothing. They went directly from the cemetery to Grandpa’s house. This year, the family would celebrate there. The spacious home remained as neat as though someone might return to live in it at any moment, filling Mai Ding with nostalgia. Before long, Mai Ding’s mother and father arrived too. The parents from both families chatted about ordinary family matters while Mai Ding sat beside An Zi Yan, trying to act like an obedient, sensible daughter-in-law.
“Let me peel an apple for you.” Mai Ding picked up an apple and put on an unnaturally virtuous smile. An Zi Yan pushed his face away. “Careful or I’ll peel you.”
“I have to perform a little. I need to gain some status in this family.”
“What do you need status for?”
“Lots of things. Gaining respect, making family relationships more harmonious…” Mai Ding secretly glanced toward Wu Xin, then bumped An Zi Yan’s arm with his elbow. “Let me ask you something. You’re not allowed to laugh.”
“Mm.”
“Do you think I’ve become more charming since I started working?” The moment the words left his mouth, he clearly heard a mocking laugh. Mai Ding scrunched up his face. “You promised not to laugh!”
“I only said that casually.”
“I’m serious. Really. I feel like Auntie likes me more and more.”
An Zi Yan only looked deeply at Mai Ding without speaking. Mai Ding never understood An Zi Yan’s attitude whenever Wu Xin came up. An Zi Yan stood and extended a hand toward him. “Let’s go outside for a walk.” It was not really an invitation. He spoke as though Mai Ding would obviously follow. Mai Ding slapped his hand away. “Holding hands in front of the elders? What kind of behavior is that?”
“Then I’m allowed to hit you in front of the elders?” An Zi Yan lightly pushed Mai Ding’s forehead, then headed outside. Mai Ding followed angrily. It was not because he wanted to follow him. It was because An Zi Yan had pushed him. Mai Ding was going to push him back later.
Mai Ding’s parents and An Zi Yan’s parents stayed in the same room talking about the same subject: the New Year. To Mai Ding, that alone felt warm enough. Like any other family, they were simply doing the most ordinary things imaginable: eating, drinking, playing cards. Other people might not understand Mai Ding’s thinking, but he still felt that the more ordinary something was, the more it felt like being alive. Of course he could not understand the distant lives of great people, artists, celebrities, and others like them. He was only an ordinary Mai Ding. Most people in the world were ordinary, and living among them gave him a sense of security.
Mai Ding stood behind his mother cracking sunflower seeds and watching them play mahjong. Wu Xin smiled at him. “Don’t only help your mother watch her tiles. Come help Auntie too. We can’t let your mother win everything, right?” Mai Ding’s mother laughed along. “His luck is terrible. If he stands behind you, you’ll only lose money.”
“Mom, don’t slander me!” Mai Ding protested unhappily, then secretly shifted behind Wu Xin to prove his luck to his mother. Wu Xin’s enormous change in attitude toward him still felt unreal, but Mai Ding did not want to believe it was false. Wu Xin had accepted him. He could feel that it was not because of the changes in the recent period. It had started even earlier than that.
“Where’s Xiao Shuai? Why haven’t I seen him?”
“He’s probably still sleeping.” Because Wu Xin was there, Mai Ding tried hard to suppress the contempt in his tone. Mai Ding’s mother nodded. “Sleeping more is good. No wonder Xiao Shuai grew so tall.” This had gone beyond ordinary affection and entered pure indulgence. What did she mean sleeping more was good? It was almost noon!