On the eve of the 2012 Spring Festival, large and small shops all along Songji Street had been spray-painted with the bright-red character for “demolish.” Shao Wu was delivering New Year goods to Yang Shuyi’s family. As he walked along Songji Street, he saw piles of garbage by the roadside, black plastic bags tangled in tree branches and rustling from time to time.
Songji Street looked abandoned. More accurately, it was abandoned. Grandma said, “They’re tearing it down. The whole street’s coming down. Think it’ll be our turn soon?” Longlong, peeling an orange nearby, looked up and smiled innocently. “Wouldn’t that be great? Then we could live in a new apartment.”
Grandma stood in the kitchen doorway, her gaze moving over the living room, bedroom, and bathroom as though she were inspecting a prize. Then she smiled, the wrinkles at the corners of her eyes bunching together. “That’s right. Then we could live in a new apartment.”
Grandpa, who was usually quiet, suddenly spoke. “What new apartment? I’m already buried up to my neck in dirt!” Shao Wu jumped. Grandpa’s hearing was poor, and Shao Wu had no idea how he had suddenly heard their conversation so clearly.
Grandma scolded him affectionately. “What kind of thing is that to say!”
But Grandpa couldn’t hear her this time and shouted, “What did you say?!”
Yang Shuyi smiled helplessly beside them.
On the sixteenth day of the first lunar month, Yongchuan No. 2 High School reopened. The previous September, Longlong had successfully entered the school as an art-track student, becoming a junior schoolmate of Yang Shuyi and Shao Wu. By coincidence, Sister Shan was her homeroom teacher. Shao Wu had assumed Yang Shuyi would go say hello to Sister Shan. After all, Grandma and Grandpa were getting old, and Yang Shuyi was usually away from Yongchuan. It would only help if Sister Shan could keep a closer eye on Longlong. On the sixteenth, Shao Wu even volunteered to go with Yang Shuyi to see Longlong off at school.
Shao Wu had not gone back to No. 2 High School once since the gaokao. What would he go back for? To explain why he had changed his university preferences? Deep down, he felt guilty toward the teachers too, which made him want to go back even less.
This time, Shao Wu thought he would be able to go in with Yang Shuyi and visit their teachers.
But Yang Shuyi only escorted Longlong as far as the school gate and asked, “You can handle it yourself, right?”
“Please.” Longlong gave him the exasperated look of a miniature adult. “It’s not like this is my first time here!”
Yang Shuyi kept both hands in his coat pockets and looked up at the newly rebuilt gate of Yongchuan No. 2 High School. Quietly, he said, “Feels more like it’s my first time here… Mm. Go on, then. Call me if anything happens.”
“Got it!” Longlong took the rolling suitcase from him, then turned to Shao Wu. “Brother Little Shao, bye!”
Shao Wu smiled at her. “Study hard.”
Longlong dragged her suitcase inside. She wore the school uniform, and her back quickly disappeared into a flood of students wearing the same thing. A few years had passed, and even the uniform style had changed. Shao Wu and Yang Shuyi stood outside the school gate, neither speaking for a while.
Shao Wu thought, Yang Shuyi still can’t forgive them. Their homeroom teacher, Fan Pengfei, Fan Pengfei’s uncle, even the school itself. Yang Shuyi still could not forgive any of them.
Yang Shuyi said, “Let’s go?”
“Let’s go.” Shao Wu followed him. After walking for a while, he could not stop himself from saying, “It’s changed so much. I barely recognize it.”
Yang Shuyi nodded but did not answer.
Yongchuan No. 2 High School really had changed. The teaching buildings had been freshly painted an eye-catching orange-red, and a brand-new gate had been built as well: a pair of tall European-style wrought-iron gates, dark lead-gray and rather imposing.
The snack street by the river was gone. The road was neat and clean now, lined with shops Shao Wu did not recognize: Xicheng Coffee, Yuxiaofang, Fufu Florist, Old Western Hunan Home Cooking, Doctor Stationery…
The sky was heavy and gray. A light rain had fallen that morning. Shao Wu turned to look at the school again and could not help asking Yang Shuyi, “Do you remember? There used to be someone selling lianggao outside the school gate.” They had eaten it together the day the gaokao ended.
Yang Shuyi looked at Shao Wu as though searching his memory for a while. Then he said, “Seems like there was.”
Seems like there was. So had there been or hadn’t there? In other words, did he remember or not? Shao Wu had no intention of pressing him. He did not want to make himself look too tedious.
The previous August, Yang Shuyi really had brought Zou Xin back to Yongchuan. They went to Chashan Zhuhai, the bamboo forest where Zhang Yimou had filmed House of Flying Daggers, and about the only scenic attraction Yongchuan could barely boast about. Shao Wu only learned they had gone after seeing photos Yang Shuyi posted on Qzone. Yang Shuyi, the kind of person who had not even photographed his university acceptance letter to post online, had actually uploaded a picture of himself and Zou Xin smiling against bamboo stalks. Zou Xin wore a navy pleated miniskirt that showed off her straight, fair legs.
Zhou Lei left a long string of smirking emojis underneath and asked: Is the Bamboo Sea fun? My little brother keeps saying he wants to go.
Yang Shuyi replied: The scenery’s nice, but there are tons of mosquitoes. Got bitten all over the legs.
But in the photo, Yang Shuyi was clearly wearing jeans that reached his ankles. Shao Wu knew, then, that the person whose legs had been covered in bites was his adorable girlfriend.
During the 2012 Spring Festival, Chen Yimang did not return to Chongqing. His modeling career in Shanghai was going smoothly. Shao Wu started the second semester of junior year at the end of February. He had only one major course that term and began preparing for postgraduate-recommendation summer camps and interviews. By March, with spring warming the air and flowers blooming, Chen Yimang still had not returned.
Shao Wu texted Chen Yimang: What are you going to do about your graduation project?
Chen Yimang replied: No rush.
Shao Wu: Are you sure it’s okay?
Chen Yimang: I’m sure.
Shao Wu: I think I’m kind of pathetic.
Chen Yimang stopped replying. Shao Wu knew he had fallen asleep. Modeling was exhausting.
Shao Wu kept composing another message, his thumb flying over the keypad: He and his girlfriend are doing well. I think they suit each other too, but I still can’t help myself. He said after graduation he’s going to work in Chengdu, a job his professor introduced him to at a geological exploration bureau. I think I’m going to settle on Sichuan University for my postgraduate recommendation, the English department. It’s a good school. Students from our department have been recommended there before. I only have one major course this semester. I checked with the counselor, and my credit-weighted GPA ranks second in the major.
His thumb began to ache, so Shao Wu shook out his wrist and kept typing: Sometimes I think I’m pretty vicious. I even hope his girlfriend dumps him, because he’s poor, because his family is a burden, whatever reason, just dumps him. But I don’t want him to be hurt either. And anyway, he likes girls. Even if they break up, he’ll just get another girlfriend. It won’t be my turn. So why do I still want to follow him there? I can’t explain it. But Chengdu is nice. I told my parents I want to do graduate school at Sichuan University and they support it. (Though my dad still wants me to go abroad.)
The dorm room was pitch-black, heavy snores rising and falling around him. Everyone had internships lately and came back exhausted every day. The phone screen gave off a pale glow. Shao Wu saved the two long messages as drafts and did not send them to Chen Yimang.
He was gradually beginning to understand that once you made a choice yourself, you could only bear it yourself. Chen Yimang had warned him, “Don’t be foolish.” Shao Wu did not think this counted as being foolish. Sichuan University’s English department was good. It was not as though he was cheating himself.
By early June, Shao Wu had already received an invitation to Sichuan University’s postgraduate-recommendation summer camp. Judging from previous years, the camp was fairly relaxed. The organizers would take the students around campus and have them attend lectures, and everyone could usually earn the certificate for “Outstanding Camper,” which was essentially an advance admission offer. Once his own department’s recommendation slots were finalized, everything would be settled.
Shao Wu still went to Southwest University. Twice, he contacted Yang Shuyi directly, but Yang Shuyi was busy, either helping a professor with a project or accompanying Zou Xin to recruitment fairs. After that, Shao Wu stopped asking to see him. He would take Route 551 to Southwest University by himself, sometimes meeting Zhu Jingjing for a meal, sometimes wandering around campus alone.
Once, Shao Wu actually ran into Yang Shuyi. Zou Xin was not there. Yang Shuyi had a backpack on and looked as though he were going to class. He looked at Shao Wu in surprise. “What are you doing here?”
Shao Wu had no choice but to lie. “I came to see Zhu Jingjing. She asked me to tutor her for CET-6… The exam’s coming up.”
Yang Shuyi nodded. “Oh. Right.”
Then Shao Wu watched him gradually walk away and enter the teaching building. Shao Wu hid beneath a tall white magnolia tree, watching Yang Shuyi’s back grow smaller and smaller. He suddenly missed high school terribly. Studying had been exhausting, but he and Yang Shuyi saw each other every day, attended class in the same room every day. All Shao Wu had to do was turn around and he could see Yang Shuyi listening, spacing out, or sleeping. Now… Yang Shuyi probably doesn’t sleep through class anymore, does he?
Exam week began on June 20. Shao Wu’s only major course that semester was Business English. The professor was British, had lived in China for more than twenty years, and planned to retire back to Britain in the second half of the year. Business English had a huge specialized vocabulary and was difficult. Ning Xiao was panicking, while Shao Wu had studied solidly and was simply waiting for the exam.
At noon on June 25, Ning Xiao was still clutching his notebook and memorizing vocabulary. Another roommate sighed. “Can you stop making the room this tense? The exam’s this afternoon. What use is cramming now? Get some sleep.”
Ning Xiao rolled his eyes. “Stop distracting me! I’m cramming at the last minute!”
Shao Wu almost laughed but held it in. “Ning Xiao, get some sleep. Kris said he wouldn’t make the exam too hard.”
“But what if? What if I fail? I heard it from the counselor.” Ning Xiao looked deadly serious. “Kris is leaving after this semester. If I fail this exam, I won’t even be able to find him and beg for mercy!”
“He said it in class, the one you skipped.” Their roommate shrugged. “He never fails anyone. As long as you actually show up for the exam, you won’t fail.”
Ning Xiao asked Shao Wu, “Really?”
“Rea—” The phone on the desk suddenly rang. Shao Wu was sitting on his bed and called to Ning Xiao, “Pass it to me.”
“Sure.” Ning Xiao handed it up, then gave him a wicked grin. “‘Shuyi’? Who’s that? Pretty intimate contact name.”
Shao Wu froze. Yang Shuyi actually called me? There was no mistake. The screen really did say “Yang Shuyi.” What kind of miracle was this?
“Yang Shuyi?”
“Shao Wu, it’s me! Zou Xin!” Her northern accent came through the phone, frantic with anxiety. “Shuyi went back to Yongchuan. He left in such a hurry he forgot his phone. This morning his grandma said he—”
“Don’t panic. What happened?!”
“His grandpa might not make it.” Zou Xin’s voice broke into tears. “I’m so worried about him, but I have an interview tomorrow. It’s really, really important, and I…”