Manager Cui stood inside the office on the nineteenth floor that now belonged to him, looking out through the floor-to-ceiling windows at the view from high above. He had finally escaped the seventh floor. The person sitting in this position was not President Wang and not An Zi Yan. It was him. Manager Cui sank into an almost overwhelming joy, but gradually his smile disappeared. Next, he needed to find an opportunity to get An Zi Yan fired. As long as An Zi Yan remained, he was a future threat, and Manager Cui would never be able to sit securely in this position.
Down on the seventh floor, Mai Ding sat in the seat of an ordinary little employee, staring blankly at the pile of documents on his desk. Was this what a company was? Profit came first. President Wang had only been hospitalized for a few days. Should Mai Ding admire upper management’s decisiveness and willingness to prioritize the bigger picture, or should he lament how human feeling was always pushed to the very end? Manager Cui had taken President Wang’s place, and there was no doubt he would not let An Zi Yan go. What would happen next? Mai Ding opened a file and quietly began to work. Did being content with his ordinary little employee job make him look stupid?
“Let’s go visit President Wang.” During lunch, Mai Ding lifted his head and looked at An Zi Yan.
“Don’t go adding to his family’s trouble right now.”
“If this was caused by his cold, he should be able to recover, right?” Mai Ding asked uncertainly. He no longer dared to sound too certain because he had once confidently promised An Zi Yan that Grandpa would recover, that a miracle would definitely happen. Reality had proved those words were the most painful lie, one that had deceived both himself and An Zi Yan. He did not dare say such things anymore. He truly did not. President Wang’s relationship with An Zi Yan could not be summed up simply as superior and subordinate. In Mai Ding’s eyes, President Wang was somewhat like Grandpa. Both of them stood beside An Zi Yan as elders, scolding and reminding him from time to time and helping him grow. An Zi Yan might talk back sometimes, but for the most part, he still listened to them.
An Zi Yan probably could not bear another loss, and Mai Ding could not bear to watch An Zi Yan lose someone again.
“He’ll be fine. He just needs a little time,” An Zi Yan said lightly. Was he trying to ease Mai Ding’s worry? Mai Ding could not keep talking about the subject, so he only nodded.
“Come somewhere with me tonight.”
“Mm. Where are we going?”
“You’ll know when we get there.”
Mai Ding had assumed An Zi Yan wanted to go to the little cabin, but instead he drove in the opposite direction. Music circled through the confined space of the car. Mai Ding glanced at An Zi Yan’s fastened seat belt, and an ache unexpectedly rose in his chest. There was too little he could do for An Zi Yan. Far too little. Did the feeling that it could never be enough fall under the category of love too? Love really put a person through the wringer.
They passed through the city, then the suburbs, leaving the lights farther and farther behind until the surroundings became increasingly desolate. Mai Ding pressed his face to the car window and did not ask where An Zi Yan planned to stop. He knew An Zi Yan would stop whenever he wanted to. During the drive, the phone in An Zi Yan’s bag kept vibrating and lighting up. An Zi Yan ignored it. When the screen lit again, Mai Ding asked, “Aren’t you going to answer?” An Zi Yan pulled out the phone and switched it off. “It’s not anything important anyway.”
“But if you turn it off, someone who can’t reach you might get worried.”
“I’m with you right now, so it doesn’t matter if it’s off.” He had said it casually, but could Mai Ding understand it this way? If he and An Zi Yan were apart, An Zi Yan would not turn off his phone, which meant Mai Ding would never have to worry about being unable to reach him.
The car finally stopped in an open, empty place. An Zi Yan opened the door and got out, and Mai Ding followed. The cold wind threw itself at them like feral dogs spotting prey. Mai Ding wrapped his coat more tightly around himself. The headlights remained on, illuminating every speck of dust in the air. The scenery around them looked unbearably dull. Mai Ding followed An Zi Yan’s gaze and saw an abandoned factory not far away. Beyond its crumbling walls, everything was pitch black.
“Let’s take a look.” Without waiting for Mai Ding to answer, An Zi Yan had already started walking toward the factory. Mai Ding jogged after him. “Maybe we shouldn’t. It looks terrifying.”
“You’re scared?”
“W-who said I’m scared? It’s the middle of the night. There could be some kind of carnivorous animal in there.”
“Is that so?” An Zi Yan answered perfunctorily without slowing down. They walked straight through a collapsed section of wall. The ground was uneven, scattered with stones and all kinds of debris.
“I can’t walk steadily, so I’m going to hold onto you. It’s not because I’m scared,” Mai Ding defended himself as he grabbed the back hem of An Zi Yan’s coat. An Zi Yan used Mai Ding’s phone to light the inside of the factory. It looked as though the place had been abandoned for quite a while. Spiderwebs covered everything. Mai Ding looked around curiously while An Zi Yan fiddled with the phone.
“Say something to me. Anything. It’s creepy when I’m the only one talking. In horror movies, someone is always holding onto their companion, but the companion never says anything, and when they finally turn around, they realize they’ve been holding onto a ghost. So hurry up and talk. Otherwise I’m going to assume you’re a ghost.”
“Boring.”
“You’re calling me boring? You’re the boring one, coming out here to explore in the middle of the night. What is there to see? Aren’t people supposed to go somewhere more pleasant when they want to clear their heads?”
“I thought there wouldn’t be anything in a place this remote.” An Zi Yan was not answering Mai Ding at all. Since An Zi Yan would not respond to him, Mai Ding could only respond to An Zi Yan instead. “What’s so strange about that? Maybe the factory went bankrupt precisely because it was built somewhere this remote.” Bored, Mai Ding kicked the pillar beside him. Dust immediately billowed everywhere. An Zi Yan covered his nose and mouth with his arm, glared at Mai Ding, and dragged him back outside. By the time they emerged, both of their hair and clothes were covered in dust. Mai Ding had never seen An Zi Yan looking so disheveled before, and he could not help giggling like a child. An Zi Yan gave him an ugly look. “You still have the nerve to laugh.”
“Because… because it’s funny.”
“Like an idiot.”
“Who are you talking about? You don’t look any better than I do.” Mai Ding finally stopped laughing. He rose onto his toes and gently brushed the dust from An Zi Yan’s hair. “Do you feel a little better now, like I do? President Wang will be fine. He’ll be fine from now on too. I can’t stand seeing you sad. I really can’t.” An Zi Yan stared at him. “Mai Ding, sometimes you really are ridiculous.” Before Mai Ding could say anything, An Zi Yan pulled him tightly into his arms. “Let’s go back.”
“Mm.”
They left their dirty clothes by the entryway. After his shower, Mai Ding came out and was lifted into An Zi Yan’s arms and carried to the bed. An Zi Yan’s upper body was bare, his skin unusually warm from the hot water. Mai Ding nestled against him and accepted his gentle kisses. Tonight, there was none of An Zi Yan’s usual wild possessiveness. Every touch was faint, his kisses so light that Mai Ding could feel them and yet almost mistake them for air. The closeness and distance drew Mai Ding into a tingling enclosed space with no exit. An Zi Yan’s hands and lips wandered over him at the same time, giving and withholding from the desire he himself had stirred. Their bodies were so familiar with one another that the slightest contact could spark heat. Mai Ding caught the wrist An Zi Yan had braced against the bed and slowly slid his hand upward to his shoulder. He liked touching and possessing An Zi Yan in a night this dark, and he liked rubbing the inside of his thigh against An Zi Yan’s waist.