A whole-family escape? Was it really going to be this exciting?
Fu Xi Yan could hardly believe it, but with Young Master Pei personally taking action, there was no room for him to protest. He was promptly carried over mountains and seas… well, not quite that far. He was merely hauled all the way to the back entrance of Xiang’ao Da.
An utterly ordinary old carriage was parked there. The shopkeeper and assistants were busy loading box after box of soap onto it.
Pei Yuan Jin said, “Everyone else has already left the city. We’ll take this carriage.” Without waiting for a response, he jumped into it himself.
Looking at the cramped carriage so completely at odds with the Young Master’s bearing, Fu Xi Yan could not help pulling the busy shopkeeper aside. “Who told you to load the soap?”
Recognizing his own young master, the shopkeeper naturally explained, “The steward said it was Madam’s instruction. The shop will be closed for a while. Madam gave us a settlement allowance and told us to return to the countryside for the time being.”
Judging by all this, the entire family really was fleeing. It certainly did not look like two people eloping.
But…
Their family has so much property. Why are we running away? Is it because of me?
Does the emperor want to kill me?
Could Tie Rong Rong trying to kill me have been the emperor’s idea?
In the space of a few breaths, Fu Xi Yan’s conspiracy theories grew a thousand li.
Pei Yuan Jin stuck his head out of the carriage, casually took a bar of soap the shopkeeper handed him, and shoved it inside. He looked at Fu Xi Yan. “Are you coming?”
Fu Xi Yan sighed and climbed onto the carriage shaft. Looking unhappily at the cramped interior, he asked, “How about I sit outside?”
Pei Yuan Jin leaned back slightly. “Get in, imperial fugitive.”
Fu Xi Yan: “…”
Apparently, there was something that sounded even worse than being called a beggar: imperial fugitive.
He had no choice but to squeeze himself into the carriage on all fours. The carriage rocked several times in the process, and as Fu Xi Yan looked at Pei Yuan Jin, for some inexplicable reason, a certain highly censored word popped into his head.
Elio’s Notes: In Chinese internet slang, content that gets “harmonized” (和谐) has been censored, often because it is considered sensitive or suggestive. The rocking carriage and cramped proximity make Fu Xi Yan’s thoughts wander somewhere inappropriate.
…
Even though he knew perfectly well Pei Yuan Jin could not hear what he was thinking, Fu Xi Yan still turned his head away in embarrassment and tried desperately to shift around. The carriage was packed so tightly with soap that he had nowhere to put either foot.
Only after Pei Yuan Jin moved some of the boxes away did Fu Xi Yan barely manage to settle himself. As for the door… outside, the shopkeeper cried Heave-ho! Heave-ho! several times before finally forcing it shut.
Fu Xi Yan braced his knees against the door and slowly adjusted himself into a more comfortable position. Then he let out a long sigh. “All right, tell me. What exactly happened? Two days ago, Uncle was still saying Chancellor Pu had agreed to put in a good word and get me released. How did it turn into the entire family fleeing overnight? And why are we fleeing with this much soap? Isn’t this taking ‘money before life’ a little too far?”
Pei Yuan Jin moved the soap aside and stretched his cramped legs slightly. “The emperor issued an order today to throw your entire family into prison.”
“Fu—” Fu Xi Yan froze before the second half of the curse escaped. “On what grounds?!”
“On the grounds that you are a Southern Yu spy.”
“Who, me?” If the carriage had not been so cramped that he had no room to move, Fu Xi Yan would have performed a spectacular demonstration of flying into a rage on the spot, preferably one that ended with lightning striking that dog emperor dead. “Isn’t this hurting yourself just to frame a loyal subject?”
Pei Yuan Jin said, “That is what the public edict says. There is also a secret edict.”
Fu Xi Yan snorted. “And what does the secret edict say? ‘Endure for a moment and the storm will pass; take one step back and we’ll meet again in the Yellow Springs’?”
Elio’s Notes: Fu Xi Yan is twisting the proverb 忍一时风平浪静，退一步海阔天空: “Endure for a moment and the wind and waves will calm; take one step back and the sea and sky will open wide.” He replaces the reassuring second half with “meet again in the Yellow Springs”—that is, in the afterlife.
“Mo Xiao Ran of the Heaven-and-Earth Mirror wants the Fu family dead. His Majesty cannot satisfy both sides, so he decided to ‘repair the plank road openly while secretly letting the people go.’”
Elio’s Notes: This parodies the famous stratagem 明修栈道，暗度陈仓, “repair the plank road openly while secretly crossing Chencang”—create a visible diversion while carrying out the true plan elsewhere. Here, the second half has been changed to “secretly let the people go.”
“Mo Xiao Ran?” Fu Xi Yan already had a fairly strong suspicion concerning his mother’s true identity. Hearing the name of someone connected to the Puppet Path surprised him briefly, but he soon fell silent.
Long ago, he had created a “Dangerous People” group chat in his head. The founding members had been Chu Guang, Chu Shao Yang, and the Third Prince.
Over time, members came and went. Those three founding members had long since been removed from the group due to prolonged inactivity. The ones who had managed to remain until now all had danger ratings completely off the charts: Little Divine Physician Yan Xie, Emperor Jianhong Wang Yu, Tong Fang Yu of the City of Ten Thousand Beasts… and now he had to add Mo Xiao Ran, Sect Master of the Puppet Path.
Such terrifying group members— while the group owner himself was only at the late Vajra Stage.
Was this some kind of joke?!
Seeing how depressed he looked, Pei Yuan Jin said, “Mo Xiao Ran currently controls the Heaven-and-Earth Mirror, and the master of the Heaven-and-Earth Mirror’s first disciple, Song Qi Yun, appeared in the imperial palace. The emperor’s explanation is about seventy percent believable.”
Fu Xi Yan scratched his cheek. “Anyway, right up until Tie Rong Rong died, I never figured out why she was so obsessed with killing me. So I can’t be bothered wondering why Mo Xiao Ran wants to go after my family either. I’m young. I’ll just outlive him.”
Pei Yuan Jin said, “If you remain at the Vajra Stage, you probably won’t.”
Fu Xi Yan: “…You know, relationships between people sometimes require a little insincere politeness to keep them going.”
Pei Yuan Jin said, “I know. I don’t want to.”
Fu Xi Yan: “…” Fine. Young Master, you win.
He opened the carriage window and pretended to look outside for a moment. “If His Majesty is letting us go, where are we going now?”
It can’t be the Immortal Treasury Palace, can it? Remembering Yu Su Huan’s descriptions and Shou Nan Shan’s behavior, Fu Xi Yan immediately became nervous. What if they force an innocent—ptui, what kind of wording is that? What if they start arbitrarily pairing mandarin ducks… Well, it wouldn’t exactly be arbitrary either. Anyway, what if they… and then I…
Fu Xi Yan agonized over it until his stomach was almost cramping before Pei Yuan Jin finally said, “The southern frontier.”
“Huh? Why?” In terms of family closeness, shouldn’t they be heading west to seek refuge with his uncle by marriage, the heir to Duke Haixi?
Pei Yuan Jin looked at him speechlessly, as though wondering whether this child was actually a biological member of the Fu family. “Because the Fu family’s military influence is all in the southern frontier.”
Fu Xi Yan’s eyes widened. “Wouldn’t His Majesty be letting a tiger return to the mountain?”
Pei Yuan Jin: “…”
With such a peculiar line of reasoning, perhaps this one really was the emperor’s biological child instead.
Pei Yuan Jin said, “The southern frontier is currently controlled by Grand Commandant Liu’s younger brother.”
Fu Xi Yan detected something beneath the words and lowered his voice. “So Father and Uncle are going there to…”
“I didn’t see the secret edict.” In truth, everything Pei Yuan Jin had just revealed about the southern frontier came from intelligence gathered by the Wind Division. After Fu Fu received the secret edict, he had merely asked Pei Yuan Jin to send someone to the Ministry of Justice prison and bring Fu Xi Yan out. He had explained nothing else, and Pei Yuan Jin had not cared enough to ask.
Fu Xi Yan began calculating inwardly.
Since ancient times, emperors loved checks and balances. If their family was being sent to the southern frontier, it was probably to counterbalance the Liu family’s younger brother, who had just lost his Grand Commandant elder brother. But given Emperor Jianhong’s usual methods, someone commanding an important border army would normally have a hostage kept in the capital.
Fu Xi Yan abruptly grabbed Pei Yuan Jin’s hand in alarm. “What about my eldest brother?”
Pei Yuan Jin said, “I don’t know.”
Thinking of Fu Dong Wen being hurriedly sent away just before the New Year, Fu Xi Yan’s heart immediately climbed into his throat. He was about to ask again when Pei Yuan Jin suddenly opened the window. Outside, the bright-eyed young man with swordlike brows who had been speaking with Liao Shang at the Ministry of Justice prison was quickly catching up. He cupped his hands. “This one is Cen Bao En. Greetings, Young Master Pei, Lord Fu.”
Seeing him dressed like a martial artist rather than someone from the government, Fu Xi Yan wondered whether he belonged to one of the emperor’s secret forces.
He asked, “You work for His Majesty?”
Cen Bao En said, “Yes.”
“His Majesty told you to follow us?”
“To escort you beyond Yanxing Gate.”
“Are you with the Yulin Guard? I’ve never seen you before.”
“This one is a disciple of the Qinling Sect.” Since the Qinling Sect had already entered imperial service, they had no intention of hiding it. After all, there was shade beneath a great tree, and advertising one’s powerful backer was itself a kind of invisible benefit.
The name Qinling Sect sounded vaguely familiar to Fu Xi Yan, so he glanced at Pei Yuan Jin.
He had not actually expected an answer. It was merely an unconscious glance, but Pei Yuan Jin responded as though they shared the same thought. “Chu Shao Yang is also from the Qinling Sect.”
Cen Bao En said, “Yes. Junior Brother Chu belongs to the Wangshun Mountain branch.”
Fu Xi Yan immediately began gossiping. “Do the ones with worse aptitude get sent to the branch line?” Although his current strength had already surpassed Chu Shao Yang’s, grudges did not disappear that easily. Material that could humiliate an old enemy had to be carefully collected and saved for future use.
Cen Bao En said, “Not at all. Martial Uncle Ma of Wangshun Mountain is also one of the foremost experts in the Qinling Sect.”
Then there was nothing interesting about it.
Fu Xi Yan lost interest and closed the window.
The carriage traveled without encountering a single obstacle. They smoothly left Haojing through Yanxing Gate and continued for a while before finally stopping.
Fu Xi Yan opened the door and climbed down. Fu Fu, Fu Xuan, Fu Li An and his wife… the entire family was gathered neatly beneath a tree eating refreshments. Carriages stood everywhere around them. With that lineup, one could have claimed they were preparing to travel the overland Silk Road and people might actually have believed it. Yet judging by their relaxed expressions, no one would have guessed that not long ago they had received an imperial edict ordering their imprisonment.
Fu Xi Yan looked around. “Why don’t I see Aunt Yu?”
Pei Yuan Jin said, “She left ahead of us.”
“What about my tiger and my cat?”
“They went with her.”
People from the Immortal Treasury Palace had always come and gone like the wind. Fu Xi Yan sighed and did not think much more of it.
Among the group, Hu Yu cupped his hands toward Pei Yuan Jin from a distance.
As an imperial fugitive, Fu Xi Yan felt slightly guilty at the sight of Hu Yu and quietly edged behind Pei Yuan Jin.
Hu Yu approached with a spring breeze on his face. “Many thanks to Young Master Pei for making the trip.” Then he turned to Fu Xi Yan. “The mountains are high and the rivers long from here. Lord Fu, take care on your journey.”
Fu Xi Yan had dealt with him fairly often after entering the Yulin Guard. Seeing Hu Yu’s friendly manner, his courage returned. “Thank you, Uncle Hu. But Uncle Hu should be careful about the people around you.”
“Oh? Which one?”
“That Zhu… what was it… Zhu Yu Da.” Fu Xi Yan had never been the kind of person who got slapped and then politely offered the other cheek. Zhu Yu Da had tried to harm him again and again. Now that an opportunity had appeared, Fu Xi Yan naturally intended to smear him thoroughly.
Hu Yu smiled. “Zhu Yu Da was one of the Rong family’s people. Naturally, he will not be overlooked.”
Fu Xi Yan froze.
Although it was deserved retribution, Zhu Yu Da was still someone he had once known. Thinking back on all the little things that had happened when he first entered the Yulin Guard, Fu Xi Yan could not help feeling melancholy. Apparently, everyone had to feed their youth to a dog at least once.
Knowing when to be polite, he said courteously, “We’ve caused Assistant Commander Hu quite a lot of trouble this time.”
Hu Yu smiled, looking decidedly high-spirited. “Once Lord Fu leaves, I will take over as Commander.” Ever since Chu Guang’s departure, the Fu faction had dominated the Yulin Guard. If Hu Yu had not made himself useful in the Fu family’s affairs, why would Fu Xuan willingly hand over his men? And if Hu Yu could not command the Yulin Guard as naturally as moving his own arm and fingers, how long could he possibly hold the Commander’s position?
When all was said and done, it was something that benefited both sides.
Fu Xi Yan immediately understood and thanked him again.
Once the pleasantries were over, Fu Xi Yan finally reached his father and uncle. The genial expression on his chubby face immediately disappeared, replaced by a severe frown. “What exactly happened? You didn’t even explain it clearly to Young Master Pei. I nearly worried myself to death the entire way here!”
Fu Fu said unhappily, “Once he got you out, there would naturally be time to explain. Did everything really have to be made clear beforehand? Is this your complaint or Young Master Pei’s?”
Why is Dad suddenly making the face of an evil mother-in-law? Fu Xi Yan rubbed his eyes and hurriedly smiled placatingly. “Mine, mine. He doesn’t care about things like that.”
Fu Fu became even more dissatisfied. “Something this serious happened to the family and he doesn’t care?”
Fu Xi Yan slapped himself lightly on the mouth. “He cares! He cares very much! I said it wrong.”
Watching his son’s elbow bend so thoroughly outward, Fu Fu became even more dissatisfied.
Fu Xuan hurriedly pulled his elder brother out of this increasingly bizarre mother-in-law-and-daughter-in-law drama and said to Fu Xi Yan, “His Majesty wants us to enter the southern frontier, defend the border, and deal with Southern Yu alongside Liu Tan Du. The matter is complicated, but with the secret edict in our hands, we have more than enough imperial authority to borrow the tiger’s might. The journey should not be too difficult.”
Fu Xi Yan asked, “What about the rest of the Fu family?”
Only the main line was leaving this time. The collateral branches remained in Haojing. If the two sides had never reconciled, that would have been one thing, but they had only just repaired their relationship when this happened. To outsiders, Count Yongfeng’s Estate would appear to have fled because of guilt. How could the other Fu family members possibly escape consequences? The collateral branches had already suffered under his grandfather for so many years and had only just begun improving their circumstances. If they were implicated again, that would be far too miserable. They would probably hate the main branch to the bone.
Fu Xuan said, “We have entrusted the matter to Hu Yu and Chancellor Pu. With the two of them there, unless His Majesty personally decides to make trouble for them, nothing serious should happen.”
Fu Xi Yan knew his father and uncle were generally reliable in handling affairs, so he stopped pestering them about it. But there was still something else on his mind. “Dad, there’s a box in my room with some coded books in it. Did you bring it?”
Fu Fu had no idea. He waved a hand. “Your mother cleared out your entire room. She probably didn’t miss anything.”
Still uneasy, Fu Xi Yan ran to ask Madam Fu. Madam Fu had the steward search for him, and before long they found his copies of Chemistry and Physics. But… one book was still missing. Fu Xi Yan searched through everything without finding it. Madam Fu did not know either, so he went back to ask Fu Xuan.
“Uncle, do you remember giving me a Complete Compendium of the Jianghu?”
Fu Xuan looked baffled. “When did I ever give you that?”
Fu Xi Yan said, “It was in my room. Wasn’t it from you?” Could it have been his father instead? But his father had always disliked him reading miscellaneous books.
Seeing Fu Xi Yan look suspiciously in his direction, Fu Fu waved a hand. “Not me. Your mother probably left it behind.”
Fu Xi Yan jolted. Then understanding dawned, and the last trace of doubt in his heart disappeared.
No wonder that book contained such a detailed explanation of the Puppet Path. His mother had left it behind. Then his mother’s identity was basically confirmed, wasn’t it? If she had not been connected to the Puppet Path, how could she possibly have known so much?
And then…
His hand unconsciously touched the manual hidden against his chest.
At that exact moment, Pei Yuan Jin happened to look over. Fu Xi Yan’s hand froze and immediately transformed into a claw, vigorously scratching at his chest instead. Pei Yuan Jin looked away again.
Fu Fu could no longer stand watching and slapped his hand. “What kind of behavior is that?”
Ignoring the sting, Fu Xi Yan hurriedly asked, “Then where is the book now?”
“Look for it yourself. The things are all right there. Can a book grow legs and disappear?” His tone was exactly like that of every perfunctory parent in existence.
The steward was still searching—and actually found it.
The book had simply been too thick to look like something Fu Xi Yan would own, so it had been packed with Fu Chen Xing’s luggage instead.
Fu Xi Yan: “…” Was this supposed to imply that I read fewer books than an eight-year-old? There was a saying that went, The damage is minor, but the humiliation… No, with humiliation this severe, how could the damage possibly be minor?!
To avoid further complications, Fu Fu allowed everyone a brief rest before formally bidding farewell to Hu Yu and Cen Bao En and setting off.
Hu Yu and Cen Bao En cupped their hands in farewell.
Fu Xi Yan even stuck his head out to wave at them. Only after they disappeared from view did he pull his hand back inside.
The clear ringing of bells drifted through the wind, approaching from far away. A carriage was coming directly toward them. The entire carriage was a deep jade green, with a string of bells hanging from each of its four corners. They swayed and chimed as the carriage moved.
Pei Yuan Jin had already changed into a larger carriage with Fu Xi Yan. He raised his eyes slightly and said without much interest, “Yan Xie.”
“Oh.” Fu Xi Yan nodded before suddenly jerking upright. “Who did you just say that was?”
Pei Yuan Jin could not be bothered repeating himself and merely swept him with an impatient glance.
Fu Xi Yan immediately rose and tried to squeeze out of the carriage, but Pei Yuan Jin caught him. “Where are you going?”
Fu Xi Yan said, “Yan Xie may have something to do with my mother’s disappearance.”
Pei Yuan Jin said, “He is alone in that carriage. If you confront him now, he certainly won’t tell you anything.” Besides, countless people throughout the jianghu owed Little Divine Physician Yan Xie favors. Trying to force the issue would probably provoke public outrage.
Fu Xi Yan had not actually worked out what he intended to do even if he caught up with him. “But he comes and goes without a trace. If I let him pass this time, who knows when I’ll find him again?”
“It doesn’t matter. Yan Xie’s whereabouts are unpredictable only to ordinary people seeking medical treatment. If the Immortal Treasury Palace wants to know where he is, it is effortless.”
Fu Xi Yan thought about it and agreed that rashly alerting the snake by beating the grass would be unwise, so he sat down again. “I wonder what he came to Haojing for?”
Pei Yuan Jin raised a hand and tapped the carriage roof. “Find out why Yan Xie came to Haojing.”
…
It must be so nice to be Young Master of the Immortal Treasury Palace.
Fu Xi Yan was so envious he nearly drooled.
Toward evening, everyone was preparing to rough it overnight in the wilderness when Pei Yuan Jin produced his dazzling Seven-Treasure Glazed House. Unfortunately, the space inside was limited, so only the women and the child—Fu Chen Xing—could sleep there. Even Young Master Pei himself had to sleep outside in a tent.
The tents had been hurriedly bought from northern merchants. They were heavy and thick, and pitching them alone took forever. With several men sharing one tent, Fu Xi Yan was reminded of his long-lost dormitory days.
He obediently dragged his bedding to the entrance, leaving the inner spaces for his elderly father and uncle.
To his surprise, Pei Yuan Jin followed him over.
Fu Xi Yan looked at him in surprise. “Why are you here?”
The tent was too dark for Fu Xi Yan to see his expression clearly, but it probably was not very pleasant, judging from the icy words Pei Yuan Jin spoke—and, on closer inspection, the faint trace of grievance underneath them. “Who exactly do you expect me to sleep with?”
That was true. Young Master Pei could originally have slept comfortably inside the Seven-Treasure Glazed House. Because of Fu Xi Yan, however, he had lowered himself to this. Thinking about it somehow produced the tragic image of a princess marrying down to a penniless commoner.
Fu Xi Yan: “…” What kind of nonsense am I thinking about?!
From deeper inside the tent, Fu Fu called, “There’s plenty of room in here. Why are you both crouching by the entrance? We have people keeping watch outside!” Although they had left home in a hurry, they had still brought servants and guards.
Fu Xi Yan moved both sets of bedding farther inside. After thinking about it, he let Pei Yuan Jin take the inner spot.
Pei Yuan Jin glanced at him.
Fu Xi Yan explained quietly, “In case my father snores…”
“Your father isn’t asleep yet,” Fu Fu called from the opposite corner, unable to resist joining in.
Fu Xi Yan conveyed everything else with his eyes. Pei Yuan Jin graciously accepted and lay down.
It had been a long time since Fu Xi Yan had slept in communal quarters, so he was strangely excited. Swinging his feet, he was just preparing to start some late-night tent conversation when a sudden snore erupted from the opposite corner.
…
There went the atmosphere.
Sleep. Just sleep.
Fu Xi Yan pulled the quilt over his head.
He slept until his father smacked him on the backside. Even through the quilt, Fu Xi Yan still felt humiliated. “Dad, don’t you have a normal way of waking people up?”
Fu Fu said, “Even snoring couldn’t wake you. What normal method do you expect me to use?”
Fu Xi Yan: “…” When you put it that way, all I can do is stare speechlessly.
He sat up clutching the quilt, rubbed his eyes, and asked, “Where’s Pei Yuan Jin?”
Fu Fu suddenly looked at him with dissatisfaction. “Is that how you slept last night?”
Fu Xi Yan’s hand stopped halfway through rubbing his eye. “How else would I sleep?”
“Your hair is an absolute mess.”
Fu Xi Yan: “…” What kind of new way of criticizing me is this? I was sleeping, not lying in state. How could I possibly remain motionless enough to keep every strand of hair perfectly arranged?
Whatever Fu Fu imagined after looking at the neatly folded bedding beside him, he sighed. “Young Master Pei doesn’t have it easy either.” Then he stood and left the tent.
Fu Xi Yan: “…” One moment you’re playing dad, the next you’re playing mom. Aren’t you tired?!
By the time everyone finished breakfast and got back on the road, the sun was already high. Fu Xi Yan climbed into the carriage in a daze, ready to catch up on sleep, when Pei Yuan Jin said, “The people I sent to investigate have returned.”
Fu Xi Yan immediately woke up. “News about Yan Xie?”
“The emperor invited him to treat Lou Wu Zai.”
Speaking of Lou Wu Zai, ever since the explosion on the pleasure boat, various spiritual medicines and miraculous pills had been used merely to keep a breath of life in him. The Lou family had begged help from practically every relative and acquaintance they had. Fu Xi Yan had even asked Fu Fu for an old ginseng root to send over after hearing about it. Yet right up until Fu Xi Yan was imprisoned, he had heard nothing about Lou Wu Zai waking. He had not expected Emperor Jianhong to personally bring in Yan Xie.
Apparently, the emperor’s love for Lou Wu Zai was the real thing.
Pei Yuan Jin said, “If he survives this, the emperor intends to have him marry a princess.”
“Which one? Don’t tell me…” Fu Xi Yan remembered that innocent yet cruel young girl.
Pei Yuan Jin said, “Seven.”
It really is her. Fu Xi Yan could not help feeling sorry for Lou Wu Zai. He wondered whether Lou Wu Zai would still want to wake up after hearing the news.
Unable to keep his mouth idle for long, Fu Xi Yan sat quietly for a while before saying, “Actually, the Seventh Princess originally wanted to marry you. I don’t know whether that came from the emperor, but the Third Prince definitely seemed to approve of it. What about you? Do you regret it at all?”
Pei Yuan Jin did not answer. Instead, he asked, “What about you?”
“Huh? Me what? She never liked me.”
Pei Yuan Jin said indifferently, “I had no choice. You do.”
“This…” Fu Xi Yan froze for a long moment. “I’ve never thought about it that way.” Right. Pei Yuan Jin is the one who has no choice. I can still… admire all the mountains and rivers, flowers and grasses beneath Heaven!
Immersed in this astonishing discovery, he completely failed to notice the expression of the person beside him darkening abruptly.
“But people still have to take responsibility for the things they’ve done.” Fu Xi Yan shook his head, then turned and met Pei Yuan Jin’s eyes. Fuck. When did his face change? Terrifying!
Pei Yuan Jin made absolutely no effort to hide his displeasure and simply looked sideways at him.
Fu Xi Yan put on his most ingratiating smile. “Young Master, please hear me out.”
“You want to marry a princess?”
“Which ‘marry,’ which ‘prin—’” The cheeky comeback gradually died between Fu Xi Yan’s lips under Pei Yuan Jin’s stare. Fu Xi Yan raised three fingers and declared solemnly, “I swear to Heaven that I harbor absolutely no improper thoughts toward the Seventh Princess!”
Pei Yuan Jin said, “So the number is wrong.”
“No! It’s not about the number. It’s… it’s…” Inspiration suddenly illuminated Fu Xi Yan’s mind. Shake him casually now and jokes practically fell out. “It’s the character.”
“Which character?”
“Seven.”
Pei Yuan Jin pressed his lips together and said nothing.
Fu Xi Yan said, “If ‘Seventh Princess’ were changed to ‘Young Master,’ then you see, it would…” He stopped.
Pei Yuan Jin raised an eyebrow. “It would what?”
Elio’s Notes: 公主, “princess,” and 宫主, “Palace Master,” are both pronounced gongzhu. Fu Xi Yan tries to transform “Seventh Princess” into “Young Master” as a joke and accidentally steers himself straight into what sounds like a confession.
Fu Xi Yan stammered, “It would—it would… Help!” Why was the joke I came up with not only completely unfunny, but somehow weirdly… harmonious? No, not harmonious. More like—how did it come to this, and how am I supposed to bear it?!