Today Auntie Fan was nearly overcome with grief and anger. She threw down those words and turned away. A-Shui hurried after her. “Mother!”
Auntie Fan shouted, “Do not call me Mother anymore! Since you have chosen to acknowledge a thief as your father, then pack your things and go north! Become your official, win your promotions. From this day on, you and I…”
“Mother…”
“Do not call me again. I will not go with you…” Auntie Fan refused to turn around and look at him again. “Fan Ruoshui, you had books to read from the time you were young. No matter how poor or exhausted I was, I never deprived you of that. I never imagined… never imagined it! For the sake of rank and honors, you have thrown away your conscience! Do you not know that Tang is your home? Jinling is your root!”
She shut the door. What little daylight there was remained outside, and with a bang, two worlds were severed from each other.
“Mother, listen to me… Mother!” A-Shui kept knocking and refused to leave. Auntie Fan finally cried, “A-Shui, do you know that the old man who watched you grow up when you were little could not endure the fall of the country and has already gone ahead of us…? It was you… this is your sin! When I go to the underworld one day, how am I supposed to face your father…? What am I supposed to say? That the son I raised with my own hands destroyed his own homeland with those same hands? How do you expect me to live with myself!”
A-Shui sat dejectedly in the little courtyard before the door. The rank and honors he had longed for all his life, the good life he had dreamed of all his life, were finally before him. Why, then, did it feel as though everything was his fault?
He should have realized long ago… none of it was worth it.
Fan Ruoshui staggered back beneath the plum tree. “Hong’er…”
His mother’s cry came sharp and resolute. “Get out! You are never to set foot in this alley again!”
After all the shouting, even those who had tried to turn a deaf ear knew what had happened. A window suddenly opened in someone’s low attic, and a basin of filthy water full of rotten vegetable leaves came crashing down over Fan Ruoshui’s head. A furious voice roared from afar, “Selling your country for glory! Selling your country for glory! What a sin! This is what sin looks like!”
Trembling, he stroked the plum tree. “Hong’er… I came back. Brother Shui earned his honors and came back… Do you remember? I told you I would return and marry you once I had earned my honors. I am back now…”
Like a madman, he dropped to his knees before the tree and clawed at the earth with both hands. The dry, frozen soil could not bury the memory of Hong’er’s bright, expressive eyes. “You will never have to suffer like that again… never have to go out and use your charms and smile for people again. Come with me…”
Still clutching the hairpin, he dug without stopping. Blood trickled from his injured hands, yet he stubbornly refused to stop.
The curses continued without end. Auntie Fan would not open the door again to look at her son.
At the crude little table inside, she finally could not hold back her tears. He had been the hope of her entire life… her A-Shui. No matter how hard or exhausting life became, a person could not lose the backbone of being human. How could he have helped the Song army…?
A nation in mourning.
It was not only faith in the Li house that had been destroyed.
The bloodstained plum tree came crashing down, exposing white bones beneath it. A-Shui threw back his head and wailed. He had done so much and endured all these days, yet now that he had dug everything open, all that remained were these bones.
His Hong’er was dead.
She had died a long time ago.
But even after death, Hong’er had remembered to come home. She had remembered where her home was.
In the end Auntie Fan could not quite bear it. She peered outside, only to see the plum tree fallen and A-Shui kneeling there in grief.
Enough.
Go. Let them all go.
She closed the door again and, in the end, refused to acknowledge him any longer.
“Fan Ruoshui, from this day on, never come back again…” Whose long sigh was it? The plum tree lay alone in the mud, the hairpin resting among the white bones. The things remained, but the people were gone.
From beginning to end, Fan Ruoshui, it was only you who clung to this obsession and could not let go.
Dazed, clutching the red plum blossoms, he was driven from the alley. It was a freezing winter night, and the thatched hut by the river where he had once lived still stood.
Fan Ruoshui turned back. The whole tree of red plum blossoms seemed to scatter away in ruin, until not a trace of mournful crimson remained.
There was nothing there at all. They had long since been only dead, withered branches.
“He has already paid the greatest price. He destroyed his own homeland with his own hands. Fan Ruoshui, when you can stand before me with your back straight, neither servile nor arrogant… then you will have won. Go.”
Whether dressed in Tianshui Blue or wrapped in silver fox fur, Li Congjia was the stronger one.
There was no need for blades to wound someone. A few words were enough to draw blood.
Far away, inside Xunfeng Gate in Bianjing.
Liuzhu gently closed the door. Nüying was seated at the head of the room. “There is no one else here today. Things have already come to this point, Jingchan…”
The young maid suddenly dropped to her knees.
“Why are you kneeling…? You are afraid, are you not?” Nüying looked at her, though fear was in her own heart as well. “You know what I want to ask. Since you are from Song, you entered Jinling and came close to my side. It is impossible that you did nothing at all…”
Once she had said it, however, she was afraid to hear the answer. Liuzhu quickly added, “Then let us ask plainly. The Queen only wants to know this today: did Ruler’s eyes suddenly become like this because of you?”
Jingchan looked uneasy and glanced up. Nüying said, “These past few days, Ruler has been entering the palace to receive treatment from the imperial physicians. If there is still even a trace of kindness in you, Jingchan, if you still remember that I treated you well in the past, then tell us the truth. Our Tang has already come to this. His Majesty has achieved everything he wanted. It is only his eyes now, his eyes…” Grief closed around her heart, and she truly could not continue.
Her voice turned pleading. “A person like him… Jingchan, you know as well. He refuses to speak of anything, but there is so much bitterness in his heart. And now his eyes have already become like this…”
Jingchan lowered her gaze. “It was I who harmed him.”
Liuzhu was so furious she nearly rushed forward, but Nüying stopped her in the end. “Enough… Things have already come to this. If she is willing to speak, then there is still guilt in her heart. There is no need…”
Jingchan suddenly threw herself flat on the floor. “Queen… Queen, Jingchan was wrong… There was something wrong with the prescription, but at the time Jingchan truly never imagined the consequences would be this severe… I…”
“What use are words like that now!” Liuzhu’s eyes reddened. “Ruler’s pupil color has already faded…” Nüying could barely restrain herself either. She turned her face away rather than look at Jingchan. “The Song people abandoned you long ago… If we killed you quietly today, it would hardly be difficult…”
Jingchan started violently. “Queen! Queen, Jingchan knows she was wrong…”
“Who ordered you to do it? Who gave you the prescription? The Prince of Jin?”
Jingchan went rigid where she knelt. She remembered the man in the Prince of Jin’s residence that day, ruthless and absolute, leaving her no path of retreat. She no longer wanted any part in this struggle over right and wrong. All she wanted was to preserve her life and return to the place where she had once lived.
There was nothing else she could do. Compared with the people in the Hall of Honoring the Worthy, who had already lost everything, the Prince of Jin was far more frightening.
Do not blame me… Ruler.
She squeezed her eyes shut. In the end she hardened her heart. “It was His Majesty’s instruction. The prescription was brought on His Majesty’s orders.”
After a long silence, Liuzhu’s expression dimmed as well.
“We had people examine the prescription, and there was nothing unusual in it. What exactly was the problem?”
“At the time, Jingchan truly knew only that the prescription contained henbane. It is quite common in the north. I never knew that after Ruler took it, he would…”
Nüying knew they could delay no longer. “Liuzhu, enter the palace at once and request an audience. Tell Ruler everything that happened today. Besides, since His Majesty still cares about Ruler’s eyes… perhaps… once the cause is known, there may still be hope.”
“Yes.”
They all knew it. Somehow, Zhao Kuangyin did not seem like the man Jingchan had described. He did not seem to want to hurt Li Yu.
On the night the city fell, it had clearly been Zhao Kuangyin who finally let Nüying and the others go. Nüying would never forget the look in his eyes when she told him Ruler was about to set fire to the palace.
It had been pure horror.
He had been afraid.
Inside the Sandalwood Pavilion, braziers placed all around finally kept the room from growing too cold. Several days passed. Zhao Kuangyin refused to let Li Yu return to the Hall of Honoring the Worthy and simply issued an imperial decree that, because the Marquis of Disobedience’s eye condition was dangerous, he was specially permitted to remain in the palace for treatment.
Who would dare say anything? From top to bottom, everyone kept silent.
“This time you seem determined to make everyone suspicious.” Wrapped in silver fur, Li Yu rested on the couch. Every day when his medicine arrived at the appointed time, Zhao Kuangyin personally dismissed the attendants and carried it in.
“Who would dare say anything!”
“That they dare not is the most dangerous part. If they dare not speak openly, then they can only act in secret. Zhao Kuangyin…” Before he could finish, the warm medicinal decoction was already held to his lips.
“It is not hot. Drink.”
The moment Li Yu instinctively smelled the bitterness, his brows drew together and he resisted slightly. “There has been no improvement. Why waste effort on something useless?” He tried to turn away, but Zhao Kuangyin pulled him back without a thought. “No.”
The steam from the medicine softened some of the pallor still lingering on Li Yu’s face, yet his unwillingness was obvious. Zhao Kuangyin laughed. “I never knew that the renowned Li Chongguang, famous all his life, was afraid of one little bowl of medicine?”
Li Yu ignored him. After a long moment he still sounded helpless. “It is bitter… I have taken it on time every day these past few days, and there has been no improvement. Let it be.”
“You are clearly afraid of bitter medicine! No!” One glance was enough for Zhao Kuangyin to understand him. Why else would he come every day and personally watch him finish the bowl? He knew Li Yu disliked it and recoiled the moment he smelled the medicine. “Drink… I will attend to you personally…”
Li Yu tried even harder to pull free. “I thank Your Majesty for your kindness.” His tone was deeply cool and distant. Zhao Kuangyin had no choice. He set down the medicine, drew Li Yu in by the waist, and pinned his hands. Li Yu simply let the strength leave his body. He could never struggle free of Zhao Kuangyin anyway, so he had no desire to waste the effort.
“If you refuse to drink, then I can only…” Zhao Kuangyin smiled with unmistakable meaning and leaned in, his lips about to entangle with Li Yu’s.
“I will drink.”
In the end Zhao Kuangyin watched him take the medicine on schedule. Li Yu’s eyes remained covered by the silk cloth. The snow had stopped and the accumulated snow around the palace halls was gradually melting, but Li Yu did not want to remove the cloth, so Zhao Kuangyin let him keep it on.
Leaning quietly against the couch like this, Li Yu looked even more remote and frail. Zhao Kuangyin bent over him, an arm locked around his waist, and slowly drew him into an embrace. “I will cure your eyes…” He had repeated the same sentence again and again these past few days. Li Yu was helpless before it. “Why be so stubborn over these eyes…? The snow… though I could not see it, I still felt it.” The man behind him tightened his arms. Zhao Kuangyin knew that for Li Yu to say even this much already counted as an attempt to comfort him. “It is not the snow… I…”
So even Zhao Kuangyin had moments when he stumbled over his words. Li Yu smiled softly.
“I want you to look at me again…”
The person in his arms clearly went rigid.
Once the words were spoken, both men fell silent.
“I am afraid you will never be able to see me again.”
“Do you know…? Before this, I never understood what fear was. It was only my own life and death, so I dared gamble anything and fight for anything… Today, I am truly afraid. Zhao Kuangyin is afraid.”
“I am afraid there will not be enough time… afraid you will not be able to see me…”
Li Yu suddenly moved, pushing against him with no intention of yielding. Zhao Kuangyin loosened his hold a little, thinking Li Yu was about to stubbornly pull away again. There was nothing to be done. Nothing this man decided could be easily changed, so Zhao Kuangyin could only release his arms.
Yet unexpectedly, Li Yu turned around to face him.
He lifted his wrist as though trying to reach for something. Li Yu’s lips were pressed together, clearly holding himself back, but in the end he sighed and slowly extended a hand to touch Zhao Kuangyin’s face.
“I…” Little by little his fingers traced the brows and features before him. Even in sorrow, the fierce heroic bearing there could not be hidden. It was a spirit Li Yu himself had never possessed. He had always smiled lightly in the face of power and schemes because he had never understood them, not truly, until he met a man who carried this kind of unyielding force in every part of him.
There was regret in it, after all. Only… there was no going back.
The hand touching Zhao Kuangyin’s face was still icy cold, yet from it he seemed almost able to sense the red sandalwood fragrance of those earlier days. Zhao Kuangyin lost himself in an instant. “Congjia… Li Congjia… You have always been Li Congjia.”
“I am Li Congjia…” His sigh lingered faintly. “I am still Li Congjia…”
In the end, he was still Li Congjia.
The name Li Yu carried too many sins upon it. In this moment, in this moment alone, somewhere in his heart he still remembered that he was Li Congjia.
The reckless confidence beneath his hand, the sweep of those raised brows, could make him feel safe in an instant, as though he no longer needed to carry all these burdens alone. Li Congjia was exhausted too. He let the strength leave his body and allowed Zhao Kuangyin to linger against him again and again. Zhao Kuangyin raised a hand to remove the silk cloth over his eyes, but Li Congjia refused no matter what. “Do not…”
Like a stubborn child making one final stand. Zhao Kuangyin let his hand fall. “All right…”
Kisses moved down his neck toward shoulders so thin their bones were startling, and the slightest movement carried an exquisite allure.
The fragrance was still red sandalwood.
He had not perfumed himself with it for a very long time. Zhao Kuangyin began to believe that this man’s very bones and blood had been steeped from red sandalwood, endlessly drawing people into obsession.
After a little entanglement, the heat between them continued to rise.
Suddenly, the sound of an announcement came from outside.
“Liuzhu requests an audience with the Marquis of Disobedience.”
Both men froze. Zhao Kuangyin shot upright, nearly grinding his teeth. “What is she doing here at a time like this!”
Li Congjia, hidden beneath the fur, was delighted enough to laugh. So even you have moments of embarrassment… “Your Majesty has kept the Marquis of Disobedience here for days without allowing him home. Are the servants not even permitted to worry?”
“Let her in.”
“No audience!”
“Zhao Kuangyin! This is forcing someone against his will. I have a household and family of my own. If you insist on doing this…” His tone had plainly returned to its habitual coolness. In a single instant, every trace of intimacy vanished from the room. Zhao Kuangyin had no choice. He straightened his clothing and sat in a chair to one side. “Come in.”
Liuzhu was startled when she entered. She had never expected His Majesty himself to be present. She had come carrying important words, but now they caught in her throat so completely that she forgot even to bow first.
Zhao Kuangyin lifted a cup of hot tea slightly without looking at her. After a while he noticed that she was still standing there in a daze and raised one sword-like brow. Liuzhu hurriedly bowed. “This servant pays respects to Your Majesty.”
He did not answer, merely lifted a hand to tell her to rise.
“The Marquis of Disobedience’s eye condition must be cured at the root, and therefore he will remain temporarily in the palace.” Every word allowed no doubt. Zhao Kuangyin simply would not release him. He assumed Liuzhu had come for no reason other than to persuade Li Yu not to remain in the palace, yet unexpectedly she said nothing more and merely thanked him for the grace.
Li Congjia spoke softly. “Liuzhu, is everything well at the Hall of Honoring the Worthy?”
“Yes. Today…” She glanced at Zhao Kuangyin with some hesitation. She had to say what she had come to say, but at this moment… the situation did not look suitable.
“If you have something to say, then say it.” Zhao Kuangyin instead became curious about why she was hesitating so much.
“Jingchan still has some conscience. Today she confessed… The cause of the Marquis of Disobedience’s eye ailment truly was a danger she planted back when she infiltrated the palace.”
After hearing this, Li Congjia lowered his head. The silk covering his eyes made Liuzhu ache. “Ruler…” She was so accustomed to calling him that the word left her mouth before she remembered Zhao Kuangyin was beside them. When she looked over, however, he showed no displeasure.
“Jingchan said that?”
“Yes.”
“Then it was… the medicine?”
“…Yes.” Liuzhu lowered her voice as well. “Ruler, please do not blame the Queen. She truly did not know, and absolutely did not…”
“Of course I know. I suspected the medicine at the time too, but I could not think of any reason she would harm me. Looking back now… none of it matters anymore. What use is knowing? No wonder Jingchan felt guilty when the palace fell and came to stop me…”
Zhao Kuangyin suddenly spoke. “Did she say what was wrong with the medicine? Where is the prescription?”
“There is nothing wrong with the prescription itself. It only had one additional medicinal ingredient, henbane grown in the north.”
Li Congjia suddenly seemed to remember something, and mockery entered his voice. “That day I was still uneasy enough to ask the Prince of Jin to examine the prescription. I never imagined the Prince of Jin would even lower himself so far as to come to my little southern kingdom and become a monk.”
Zhao Kuangyin looked at him. Li Congjia still seemed utterly indifferent, as though he were speaking only of someone else’s grief and joy.
With those words, the grievance between the two men became immediately clear.
“Your Majesty planned well. Even your own younger brother was willing to put himself in danger. Did you calculate that even if I learned the truth, I would still be unable to do anything to him?”
“I was furious then! If you had not failed me again and again, why would I ever have been so ruthless!”
“Then Your Majesty should remain ruthless today. The cause of this guilty subject’s eye condition has already been found. There is no need for Your Majesty to concern yourself any further. Let me return and see to my own life and death.”
“I will not allow it!” Zhao Kuangyin sprang to his feet.
Liuzhu stood to one side with her head lowered. The two men faced each other in silence, and neither spoke.
“Ruler… there is one more thing…”
“Say it.”
“It is… what Jingchan said… The reason Ruler’s eyes have become like this is entirely… entirely…” Liuzhu drew a deep breath. If she died for it, then so be it. “It was all done on His Majesty’s orders!”
She waited for Zhao Kuangyin beside her to erupt in fury and sentence her to death, or perhaps deny it outright. Whatever happened, the truth had to come into the light. She was not the sort of person who would refuse to speak plainly merely because she feared death. “Ruler, Jingchan is already awaiting punishment. She has no reason to lie now.”
Li Congjia’s expression did not change.
Unexpectedly, Zhao Kuangyin did not flare up at once either. After hearing those words, he slowly paced two steps, then suddenly stopped directly before the man seated upright on the couch.
“Li Congjia. It was my order. I was the one who had the Prince of Jin bring that prescription. I wanted you never to see again. I wanted you to become exactly as you are today.” Without the slightest hesitation, he accepted all of it, his eyes fixed hard on the man whose eyes were covered with white silk.
“Li Congjia, do you believe me or not?”
The man on the couch said nothing for a long time.
Only after a very long while did he speak. “I do not believe you.” His voice had not changed at all. It was so light that there was no trace of emphasis in it, yet the moment one heard it, there was no room left for appeal.
Liuzhu was stunned.