Another manager who was flying off the handle was Jia Zhi Qing. Before today, he never would have imagined that the very first crisis he would face as a manager would be his own artist getting caught up in a gay scandal.
Elio’s Notes:
囧 is a Chinese character that became a popular internet emoticon because it resembles a face wearing an awkward, embarrassed, or distressed expression. The doubled 囧囧 in the chapter title emphasizes just how painfully awkward the press conference becomes.
“Xiao Bai.” He looked mournfully at the completely innocent Xiao Bai. “Tell me. How exactly did Feng Ya Lun lay his poisonous hands on you?”
“Lay his poisonous hands on me?” Still completely unaware of what was going on, Xiao Bai happily pulled out a shopping bag. “Brother Ya Lun was really nice to me. He even bought me a shirt.”
A shirt. A shirt. A shirt…
Jia Zhi Qing snatched the bag away in exasperation. “Xiao Bai, you—you—you could at least have raised your asking price!”
“Huh? Why would I raise the price? I wanted to help Brother Ya Lun bargain it down. But the shop assistant said they didn’t allow bargaining.” Xiao Bai sighed painfully at the memory. “It was so expensive. More than five hundred yuan.”
More than five hundred yuan. More than five hundred yuan. More than five hundred yuan…
Jia Zhi Qing felt his sanity teetering on the verge of collapse. “Xiao Bai. You—you—you could at least have demanded the male lead in a TV drama or the second male lead in a movie! All that for a shirt worth a little over five hundred yuan…” Just thinking about it made his heart ache.
Xiao Bai stared at him blankly. “What are you talking about? Why can’t I understand you?”
Jia Zhi Qing pulled out a magazine and handed it to him. “Read it yourself.”
Xiao Bai opened the magazine, then exclaimed in surprise, “Oh! This is the shop we went to. What a coincidence…” But his smile quickly disappeared. “What does it mean when it says I’m Brother Ya Lun’s ‘same-sex lover’?”
Jia Zhi Qing answered tearfully, “It means the two of you are dating.”
Xiao Bai froze for a moment before asking in astonishment, “But we’re both men.”
Jia Zhi Qing collapsed headfirst onto the table.
Magazines had always been fond of making stories out of the slightest scraps of rumor.
The scandal between Feng Ya Lun and Xiao Bai had certainly attracted plenty of attention, but all anyone had actually photographed was the two of them shopping together. Even their intimate-looking behavior could have been dismissed as nothing more than brotherly affection. So the major magazines had originally intended to use the story as nothing more than an attention-grabbing gimmick. Once the readers had finished gasping over it, that would have been the end.
Unexpectedly, however, the story reached a whole new climax the very next day.
Zhou Min Li, who had been rumored to be Feng Ya Lun’s girlfriend for three years, publicly announced that she was single and gave an interview to a magazine for singles.
It was like dropping a massive boulder into a lake. What it stirred up went far beyond a few ripples.
Every magazine and newspaper immediately erupted. Yimate, Feng Ya Lun’s home, Xiao Bai’s home, Zhou Min Li’s home, and Zhou Min Li’s talent agency were all besieged so thoroughly that not even water could have squeezed through.
Ma Rui immediately issued instructions: suspend all of Xiao Bai’s activities and send him away to lie low until the heat died down.
After all the studying he had done, Jia Zhi Qing understood enough to know what Ma Rui was doing—sacrificing the chariot to save the commander. He intended to put Xiao Bai on ice in order to protect Feng Ya Lun. At such a critical moment, one mishandled move could leave Xiao Bai’s career permanently ruined. After thinking it over and over, Jia Zhi Qing called the culprit responsible for the whole mess.
Elio’s Notes:
弃车保帅 is a strategy metaphor drawn from Chinese chess: sacrificing a less important piece—in this case, the chariot—to protect the commander. Here Xiao Bai is the expendable piece, while Feng Ya Lun is the star Yimate wants to protect. 冷藏, literally “cold storage,” is entertainment-industry slang for shelving or sidelining an artist so they receive little or no work.
Fortunately, Feng Ya Lun still had some sense of loyalty. Without another word, he called Ma Rui and declared that if the company put Xiao Bai on ice, he would jump ship.
Feng Ya Lun had been Yimate’s flagship star for the past several years. If he suddenly walked away, Yimate really would suffer an earthquake. So furious though Ma Rui was, he still compromised and arranged for Xiao Bai to stay in a hotel for several days.
But reporters had terrifyingly sharp noses for news. Xiao Bai had barely finished checking in when they came knocking.
One reporter even used his connections inside the hotel to slip in without anyone noticing.
While Xiao Bai was eating, the reporter immediately thrust his head directly over Xiao Bai’s bowl. “I’d like to ask you a few questions. Are you really dating Feng Ya Lun? Did Zhou Min Li and Feng Ya Lun break up because of you? When did the two of you get together? Did you appear on GO! GO! SU… SUPER STAR because Feng Ya Lun recommended you? What does your company think about your relationship?”
Xiao Bai stared blankly at the excited reporter. “You talk really fast.”
The reporter thought Xiao Bai was about to start mocking him, only for Xiao Bai to add, “Could you say it again? I didn’t catch all of that.”
The reporter had no choice but to ask the questions one at a time. As long as Xiao Bai was willing to cooperate, he would gladly repeat himself ten times. “Are you dating Feng Ya Lun?”
Xiao Bai shook his head. “No.”
The reporter waited for him to elaborate.
Xiao Bai stopped there.
The two of them stared at each other for a long while before the reporter finally asked, “Then why did Zhou Min Li and Feng Ya Lun break up?”
Xiao Bai looked surprised. “Huh? Were they boyfriend and girlfriend before?”
“……” The reporter had originally thought extracting information from a complete rookie would be as easy as turning over his hand. Now he was starting to suspect that Xiao Bai was actually playing dumb while secretly running circles around him. “Did you get onto GO! GO! SU… SUPER STAR because of Feng Ya Lun?”
“I didn’t know Brother Ya Lun back then.”
“But your manager and Feng Ya Lun’s manager are cousins, aren’t they?”
Xiao Bai nodded.
“Then how could you not know Feng Ya Lun?”
“Because I’d never met him.”
“……” The reporter’s face turned red from holding himself back.
No. He had managed to interview people far more difficult than this. He absolutely could not fall here, in front of a complete rookie. Absolutely not!
“Then how did you end up hosting GO! GO! SU… SUPER STAR? Did someone pull strings for you?”
Having gotten absolutely nowhere, the reporter’s tone began to turn hostile.
Xiao Bai still answered him earnestly. “They told me to go, so I went.”
“Who told you?”
“Mm… a tall, skinny man.”
A tall, skinny man?!
The reporter nearly coughed up blood.
Tall, skinny men are all over the streets, okay?! Why doesn’t anyone drag me off to host a show?!
He glared fiercely at Xiao Bai. The guy was obviously in his twenties, yet he was still pretending to be this stupid. His behavior was utterly shameless.
Seeing how aggressive the reporter looked, Xiao Bai kindly offered, “Do you want something to eat too?”
“……”
Trying to buy me off with one meal? Hmph. I’m not that cheap.
“But you’ll have to pay for your own food.”
“……”
I#@¥%&¥!
When Jia Zhi Qing arrived, he happened to see the reporter leaving with his head hanging dejectedly. He immediately asked Xiao Bai nervously, “Did he ask you any difficult questions?”
Xiao Bai shook his head. “No. His questions were all really easy.”
…Fine. There was no point judging Xiao Bai’s thought process by ordinary logic.
Jia Zhi Qing decided he would simply read the magazine tomorrow. Whether the result was good or bad, it was already a done deal. Worrying now would accomplish nothing. “Right. Feng Ya Lun and Ma Rui are holding a press conference in the hotel ballroom this afternoon. You’re coming too. If necessary, they’ll call you up onstage.”
“Do I get paid?” Xiao Bai asked.
“…No.”
Xiao Bai suddenly clapped his hands. “Ah! Speaking of money, that variety show still hasn’t paid me for hosting.” He worriedly squeezed his chopsticks. “Do you think they’re planning to stiff me?”
Jia Zhi Qing stared at him speechlessly for a long while before finally forcing out, “I’ll ask for you.”
Yimate had rarely held press conferences in recent years, but whenever it did, something major was happening. So when the entertainment reporters received the notice, they all arrived bursting with confidence and determined to dig up the most valuable scoop possible.
Xiao Bai and Jia Zhi Qing arrived at one-thirty and hid in Feng Ya Lun’s dressing room to wait.
Seeing Jia Zhi Qing looking as though he were confronting a mortal enemy, Feng Ya Lun couldn’t help laughing. “Hey, we were comrades-in-arms once upon a time. You don’t have to treat me like a class enemy, do you?”
“That was then, this is now. Whatever else you say, I’m Xiao Bai’s manager now.”
“Do you look like a manager? You’re basically his legal guardian.” Feng Ya Lun looked irritably toward Xiao Bai, whom Jia Zhi Qing had separated from him as though thousands of mountains and rivers lay between them. “Technically, he’s my junior from the same company too. Can’t senior and junior brothers bond a little?”
That only made Jia Zhi Qing even angrier. “Haven’t you already ‘bonded’ spectacularly enough?” All those reporters outside were there specifically to track every development in their ongoing “bonding.”
Remembering that Xiao Bai had nearly been shelved because of him, Feng Ya Lun sat down awkwardly and stopped talking.
Xiao Bai saw Feng Ya Lun’s pitiful expression and was overcome with sympathy. He couldn’t help saying, “Actually, I like bonding with Brother Ya Lun too.”
Feng Ya Lun’s eyes immediately lit up. He turned toward Jia Zhi Qing wearing an unmistakable See? See? expression.
Xiao Bai continued, “Brother Ya Lun even bought me a shirt worth more than five hundred yuan.”
More than five hundred yuan again.
Jia Zhi Qing wanted to smash his head into a wall.
Feng Ya Lun held himself back for a moment before asking faintly, “That thing you just said… were you mocking me?”
Xiao Bai blinked, then naturally shook his head. “No.”
Looking at that completely innocent expression, Feng Ya Lun found himself unable to tell whether Xiao Bai was being sincere.
Seeing Feng Ya Lun both aggrieved and confused, Jia Zhi Qing suddenly felt the frustration lodged in his chest slowly drain away.
Far more people attended the press conference than expected.
Yimate had no choice but to move it at the last minute to a larger conference room.
Xiao Bai and Jia Zhi Qing sat beforehand in the sound-control booth, watching everything outside through the window.
The reporters had originally been gathered in little groups whispering to one another—whether they were exchanging information or competing with each other was impossible to tell. But the moment Feng Ya Lun, Gao Qin, and Ma Rui appeared, the entire room instantly fell silent.
Anyone with even basic knowledge of the entertainment industry knew that these three were currently Yimate’s most important figures. Gao Qin and Feng Ya Lun might not have been shareholders, but in many people’s eyes, they were already two of Yimate’s major power players.
The moment Ma Rui sat down, he launched into a round of official platitudes and praised Yimate’s glorious achievements over the past several years.
The reporters had no interest in hearing any of it, but there was nothing they could do except sit there blankly and wait until President Ma had enjoyed himself enough.
Perhaps sensing how stiff the atmosphere had become, Ma Rui wisely skipped a large portion of his prepared speech and handed the floor over to Gao Qin.
The instant Gao Qin opened his mouth, he captured everyone’s attention. “I imagine everyone who came here today did so because of Ya Lun’s love life?”
One after another, the reporters nodded like primary school students.
Gao Qin smiled faintly and gave them a polite cupped-hand gesture. “First, I’d like to thank our friends in the media for caring so much about Ya Lun. However, when it comes to the private relationships of our artists, our company has always followed a policy of noninterference, allowing the artists to handle these matters quietly themselves. We’re very sorry that this incident became so enormous that all of you had to trouble yourselves over it.”
Sitting inside the sound booth, Xiao Bai looked at the amiably smiling Gao Qin onstage and lowered his voice. “I never knew Brother Gao could look so friendly.”
Jia Zhi Qing sighed. “It’s all an illusion, an illusion. He’s obviously mocking them. Mocking them.”
Before the reporters could fully digest the barb, Gao Qin continued, “But since things have already gotten this big, we might as well give everyone an explanation. That way, you won’t all have to write essay after essay about it—and somehow keep wandering off-topic every time.”
This time, the sarcasm was completely blatant, and quite a few reporters began to feel uncomfortable.
Having lit the fuse, Gao Qin immediately tossed the bomb to Feng Ya Lun. “But since we’re talking about someone’s love life, it’s better to let the person involved speak for himself. Ya Lun, go ahead.”
Feng Ya Lun mentally cursed all eighteen generations of Gao Qin’s ancestors, but outwardly maintained his gentle smile. “If you ask me to talk about albums or movies, I’ll have plenty to say. But asking me to talk about romance really puts me in a difficult position. My love life has been completely blank for three whole years. What am I supposed to do—start from my first love?”
Several reporters could no longer restrain themselves and raised their hands.
The hastily recruited host immediately announced the start of open questions.
Reporter A: “Mr. Feng Ya Lun, what exactly is your relationship with Miss Zhou Min Li?”
Feng Ya Lun: “We’ve worked together on several productions, so I’d call it a professional relationship.”
Reporter A: “But there have always been rumors that the two of you were dating…”
Feng Ya Lun: “You said it yourself—they were rumors. One person repeats a false story after another, and eventually everyone starts treating it as fact. It’s not like it was the seven o’clock news on CCTV-1.”
Elio’s Notes:
The “seven o’clock news on CCTV-1” refers to China’s flagship national evening news broadcast, invoked here as the opposite of unreliable entertainment gossip.
Reporter A: “Then what do you think about—”
Feng Ya Lun: “Sir, could you perhaps leave some opportunities for the female reporters present?”
Reporter A was defeated.
Reporter B: “Mr. Feng Ya Lun, what do you think about Miss Zhou Min Li appearing in a singles magazine?”
Feng Ya Lun: “I’m a little jealous. I qualify too, don’t I? Why didn’t they invite me?”
Reporter B: “But you were photographed shopping with Zeng Bai that day, and the two of you seemed very intimate. You don’t appear to be single.”
Feng Ya Lun smiled. “Intimate? How intimate?”
Reporter B: “You had your arm around his waist…”
Feng Ya Lun burst out laughing. “Back in university, when I used the communal bathhouse, I even squeezed my roommate’s bare ass.”
A naked ass was naturally far more suggestive than a waist covered by clothing.
Yet Reporter B felt none of the exhilaration of uncovering a scoop. Feng Ya Lun’s expression made the message perfectly clear: if he actually turned that last statement into a news story, he would be an idiot.
Reporter C: “Mr. Feng Ya Lun, when did you first meet Zeng Bai? Did his replacing Luo Pei Jue as host of GO! GO! SU… SUPER STAR have anything to do with you?”
Feng Ya Lun: “Believe me. If I had the chance to host GO! GO! SU… SUPER STAR, I would absolutely do it myself.”
Seeing that the reporters had asked nearly everything they wanted, Gao Qin immediately stood. “Actually, today’s press conference isn’t meant to clarify anything. These rumors are so inexplicable and absurd that there isn’t much worth clarifying. Our real purpose today is to announce some good news.”
Good news?!
Every reporter immediately perked up.
Don’t tell me Feng Ya Lun is suddenly retiring from show business to get married?
That would be huge news. Huge!
Gao Qin said, “The good news is… Xiao Bai will officially be joining GO! GO! SU… SUPER STAR as Shi Da Ming’s regular co-host.”
“……”
What kind of good news is that?
Perhaps the disappointment was simply too crushing. It took the reporters a full thirty seconds before they remembered that they were supposed to applaud.
Gao Qin said, “Now let’s invite the star of today’s announcement out to celebrate with us.”
Jia Zhi Qing immediately pulled Xiao Bai out of the sound booth.
The reporters’ applause grew a little louder this time. After all, this was a meeting between the two male leads of the scandal. Perhaps they could still dig up some juicy affair between them.
Xiao Bai looked helplessly at Gao Qin.
Nobody had breathed a word to him beforehand about becoming a regular host of GO! GO! SU… SUPER STAR. In fact, even Jia Zhi Qing had been kept completely in the dark. But as far as Jia Zhi Qing was concerned, good news was good news, so he wasn’t about to fuss over whether he had been “inside the drum” or outside it.
Elio’s Notes:
蒙在鼓里 means “to be kept in the dark,” but literally evokes being shut “inside a drum.” The narration jokingly extends the literal image by saying Jia Zhi Qing did not care whether he had been inside or outside the drum.
The hotel staff immediately brought out the prepared champagne, giving everyone present a glass. At least now the scene looked slightly more celebratory.
Ma Rui appeared the most excited of all. Raising his glass high, he called, “Cheers!”
“Cheers!”
The reporters perfunctorily raised their glasses while gloomily discovering that throughout the entire process, the two supposed male leads of the scandal had been kept apart by their managers as rigorously as contagious patients under quarantine.
After the press conference ended, Gao Qin drove Feng Ya Lun, Xiao Bai, and Jia Zhi Qing home.
The wind blowing against Jia Zhi Qing’s head finally cleared his mind, and he couldn’t help complaining, “Something as huge as Xiao Bai becoming a host on GO! GO! SU… SUPER STAR, and you couldn’t give me even the slightest heads-up beforehand?”
Gao Qin drove on and answered carelessly, “You couldn’t have helped anyway.”
Jia Zhi Qing was choked speechless.
Feng Ya Lun stepped in to smooth things over. “Actually, the whole thing was pretty uncertain to begin with. Plenty of people had their eyes on that juicy spot. Zhan Kun, Luo Pei Jue’s junior from the same camp, and Gossip Kid were both eagerly putting themselves forward. But Luo Pei Jue disappearing without explanation had already infuriated NCC’s boss. The boss ordered Luo Pei Jue completely blacklisted at NCC, and by association he didn’t want anything to do with Luo Pei Jue’s junior either. So when Gao Qin called him at that point and asked him to consider Xiao Bai, he was really just trying his luck. NCC’s boss didn’t personally give the final approval until half an hour before the press conference.”
Only then did Jia Zhi Qing realize just how much Gao Qin had done behind the scenes. He couldn’t help feeling a little guilty about his tone earlier.
Xiao Bai suddenly asked, “Is that the variety show that still hasn’t paid me?”
“……”
“……”
“……”
The rest of the ride was very quiet.
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