Futile Devices Scans

Chen Lu returned nervously to face Envoy Li alone. Fortunately, Brother Wuzhi had never lied to him. Envoy Li was indeed a good person and did not make things difficult for him in the slightest.

After speaking with Envoy Li face-to-face for a while, Chen Lu realized that he was not only young, but clear-eyed and strikingly innocent in temperament.

Tsk, tsk. Judging by the way he clung to Militia Commander Zhang when he was drunk, he must have been the one who fell for Militia Commander Zhang first and took the initiative to court him. Just like me—another little fellow with grand ambitions!

Were Envoy Li not so cold and difficult to approach, Chen Lu truly would have liked to ask him for advice on exactly how he had managed to cling to Militia Commander Zhang until the man became his.

＊

Over the next several days, everyone returned to official business. Chen Lu buried his little thoughts at the bottom of the chest once more.

Several days later, Young General She was pursued into the abandoned fortress by the Xiao troops from Tianmen Pass. Militia Commander Zhang and Envoy Li rescued General She, while Liu Wu went to meet them—and once again witnessed Militia Commander Zhang lifting Envoy Li into his arms as though no one else were present…

Liu Wu: “…”

＊

Early the next morning, Liu Wu was once again standing in a daze in the county yamen’s side courtyard.

Chen Lu had not been on duty the previous night, so instead of sleeping in the clerks’ duty room, he had returned home to accompany his parents. In recent days, his father had learned that Militia Commander Zhang had arrived, driven the incompetent County Magistrate from power, and brought the situation in Ant County under control. His mind had eased considerably, and even his chronic cough had improved somewhat. With his father feeling better, Chen Lu was in excellent spirits. He served him breakfast early that morning, helped his mother sweep and clean the courtyard, then skipped toward the county yamen with his little book case on his back.

At a glance, he once again spotted Brother Wuzhi picking at his saber hilt in the side courtyard. He called happily, “Brother Wuzhi! Were you looking for me? I wasn’t on duty last night, so I didn’t sleep here.”

Liu Wu had hidden there precisely because he knew Chen Lu was absent. Upon suddenly hearing his voice, he immediately assumed an expression of upright righteousness. “Ahem. You’re here. I… was looking for you. That is… I wanted to tell you that General She arrived last night.”

The two colleagues stood in the courtyard while Liu Wu recounted in detail the danger of rescuing General She the previous night. Chen Lu listened with mounting tension.

“So you were called out from home last night too?” Chen Lu asked. “I can’t believe I slept so soundly that I didn’t hear anything happening next door. From now on, even when I’m not on duty, I should sleep in the clerks’ duty room so I won’t delay important matters.”

“Sleep properly at home,” Liu Wu said. “You aren’t needed for all that fighting and killing.”

Chen Lu froze and immediately felt somewhat dejected. It was true that he could not help with fighting and killing. Unlike Militia Commander Zhang and Envoy Li, he could not stand shoulder to shoulder with Brother Wuzhi and slay enemies. All he could do was chase after him and try his hardest not to become a burden.

So that was why Envoy Li could cling to Militia Commander Zhang every day, while I can’t even catch hold of Brother Wuzhi’s hand without him avoiding me. It’s because I’m useless…

His little face fell. Liu Wu’s heart tightened at the sight, and he hurriedly said, “I misspoke. You are needed, of course you are. You’ve been working hard lately, and I saw you dozing off during the day, so I didn’t wake you last night. General She’s food, lodging, and care while he remains in Ant County will also require your arrangements. That’s why I came looking for you first thing this morning.”

Successfully coaxed, Chen Lu broke into a delighted smile. “All right! I’ll arrange everything immediately!”

＊

Chen Lu’s belief that he was useless was, in truth, excessively modest. He had read widely from all manner of books—mostly idle ones—possessed an excellent command of the brush, and had learned from his father, Senior Clerk Chen, how to draft official yamen documents and keep accounts. His mind was also livelier than that of his grave and proper father. He knew how to show weakness and act spoiled, was eloquent and socially adept, got along extremely well with the yamen’s senior staff, and could arrange countless internal affairs in perfect order.

Militia Commander Zhang valued and trusted him enough to entrust him with writing secret letters by hand. That very night, Militia Commander Zhang happened to obtain some intelligence from General She and asked Chen Lu to write an urgent letter and send it to Kuiyuan.

The wind was fierce that night, and it looked as though snow was coming. Chen Lu worried that the carrier pigeon might become frightened and refuse to leave the county yamen, so he asked Brother Wuzhi to ride with him and the pigeon cage beyond the city. They released the bird halfway up the mountain, hoping to force it to hurry back to Kuiyuan.

Liu Wu had ridden a horse for the first time in his life only earlier that day. He had swayed wildly in the saddle and nearly fallen, fortunately being saved by Envoy Li. Now it was nighttime rather than daylight, and Chen Lu was sitting behind him.

It would not matter if Liu Wu himself fell, but what if A’Lu fell? He therefore did not dare relax in the slightest. His body remained rigid with tension, and both hands clutched the reins tightly. Although it was the middle of a freezing winter night, cold sweat soaked the inside of his padded coat.

Chen Lu had concentrated entirely on protecting the pigeon throughout the journey. Only on the way back, while holding Liu Wu’s increasingly rigid waist, did he notice something was wrong.

He leaned forward and asked, “Brother Wuzhi, what’s wrong?”

“Don’t move,” Liu Wu said. “Be careful not to fall.”

At that very moment, the horse snorted impatiently and tossed its head. Liu Wu tightened his grip on the reins and stammered, “Y-you need to hold on more tightly! Whatever you do, don’t fall!”

Chen Lu: Hehe.

He did not stand on ceremony in the slightest and happily wrapped himself tightly around Brother Wuzhi. His little face went smack! against Brother Wuzhi’s shoulder and stuck there like a little flatbread slapped against the side of a pan. Even if he were roasted black, he would not let go!

In the depths of the winter night, the horse swayed along slowly while great flakes of snow began drifting from the sky.

＊

Liu Wu abruptly drew the horse to a halt at the roadside and carefully dismounted.

“Move farther forward.”

Chen Lu did not understand but obediently shifted his bottom toward the front. Liu Wu had him hold the pigeon cage before him, then mounted again and wrapped his arms around Chen Lu. He spread his own cloak securely over Chen Lu’s head, sheltering his entire body within his embrace so that not a single snowflake touched him.

Chen Lu nestled obediently in his arms and remained silent for a long time, hiding beneath the sound of falling snow as he secretly sniffled.

Brother Wuzhi had cared for and protected him since childhood. He had always treated Chen Lu so well, yet he had also always regarded him only as a “colleague.”

Even this warm embrace was merely because of the heavy snow.

Once morning comes, he won’t even let me touch his hand again.

As Chen Lu secretly sniffled, he thought sadly, Perhaps I misunderstood. When Envoy Li clung to Militia Commander Zhang, perhaps they were only colleagues too. Didn’t Militia Commander Zhang pull him away at the time and refuse to let him get too close? Perhaps Envoy Li was simply drunk and grabbed someone at random to act spoiled with. Or perhaps he is like me and merely suffering from unrequited love…

His emotions churned so violently that even through the fierce wind and snow, Liu Wu noticed. Lowering his head until his lips nearly touched the crown of Chen Lu’s hair, he asked, “Are you cold?”

Chen Lu shook his head, then nodded.

Liu Wu cautiously released one rein and stroked Chen Lu’s icy cheek. When his fingertips encountered dampness, his heart lurched hard in his chest.

The wind and snow were fierce, leaving Liu Wu’s voice slightly hoarse as he coaxed softly, “Hold on a little longer. We’ll be there soon.”

Chen Lu nodded again.

For the umpteenth time, he lied to himself: Brother Wuzhi cherishes me so much. Even if we remain colleagues for the rest of our lives, I’ll be completely satisfied—

As if!

Chen Lu spent the entire ride back to the clerks’ duty room resting against Brother Wuzhi’s warm, soft chest, then spent another night having an erotic dream—no, a Golden Millet Dream.

Elio’s Notes: 黄 can mean “yellow,” but it can also carry the slang sense of something erotic or obscene. Chen Lu starts to call what he dreamed a 黄梦, an “erotic dream,” then jokingly corrects himself to 黄粱美梦, the “Golden Millet Dream,” an old idiom for a beautiful but ultimately illusory dream.

There had been no misunderstanding at all, and Envoy Li was not suffering from unrequited love. Those two were lovers! They were exactly like the little mandarin ducks in the storybooks, necks entwined as they flew and nested together!

Elio’s Notes: Mandarin ducks are a traditional Chinese symbol of devoted lovers and married couples, which is why Chen Lu repeatedly compares Zhang San and Li Si to a pair of “little mandarin ducks.”

Chen Lu’s heart churned like stormy water.

He raced into the constables’ quarters in the front courtyard and shook Liu Wu, who was bundled beneath the quilt.

In truth, Liu Wu had not been asleep. He had held Chen Lu throughout the ride the previous night. Although the wind and snow had been loud, he knew that Chen Lu had cried in his arms the entire way.

How could Chen Lu fool him by claiming it was the cold? Liu Wu had helped raise him from childhood and could be considered half elder brother and half parent. He knew the little thing so well that the moment Chen Lu stuck out his bottom, Liu Wu knew it was time to fetch a basin. The way he had trembled and sniffled the previous night had clearly meant he was shedding tears. When Liu Wu reached out to touch him later, sure enough, his cheeks were wet.

Yet Liu Wu knew only that he had cried. He refused to consider why.

Had the cold made him cry? Was he frightened of the war? Had he cried because he hated Liu Wu holding him—because he disliked Liu Wu?

His thoughts in turmoil, Liu Wu tossed and turned upon the narrow cot for the entire night. Deep down, he vaguely knew the true answer, but he did not dare consider it and could not allow himself to consider it.

It was all Militia Commander Zhang and Envoy Li’s fault! For so many years, everything between A’Lu and me had been perfectly peaceful. We could have lived our entire lives like that. It was all because those two were shameless and utterly devoid of propriety, hugging and clinging to each other right in front of A’Lu and corrupting the innocent boy!

＊

Just as Liu Wu was stewing in irritation, Chen Lu crashed into the room like a little deer and began shaking him.

“W-Wuzhi—Brother Wuzhi!”

Liu Wu felt as though his brain were being shaken from his skull. Dizzy and confused, he asked, “Wh-what? What happened?”

Chen Lu trembled while pressing the pigeon cage against his own face. “I-I just—I just saw Militia Commander Zhang and Envoy Li! They slept in the same bed! And they were holding each other like this…”

Liu Wu hurriedly covered both Chen Lu’s mouth and the pigeon cage. “Shh! Shh!”

Against his palm, Chen Lu whispered, “A-are the two of them…?”

Lovers!

Liu Wu’s heart lurched. He declared decisively, “They are not! Colleagues in the capital are simply that close! Don’t imagine nonsense!”

A’Lu truly had been corrupted by those two. For the first time, suspicion appeared on his face at something Liu Wu had said. “Really?”

Liu Wu forced himself to answer firmly, “Really!”

Chen Lu appeared to sigh in relief. “Then I was being presumptuous…”

As if!

How could the former child prodigy be so easily deceived? Chen Lu saw through Brother Wuzhi’s performance at a glance. When the two of them had brought the pigeon to the rear courtyard together, Brother Wuzhi had clearly stood outside coughing randomly for ages, not daring to open Militia Commander Zhang’s door at all.

Very well. You know how to put on an act. Do you think I don’t?

Chen Lu put on an innocent expression. Later, when he saw Envoy Li reaching for Militia Commander Zhang’s hand, he deliberately asked Liu Wu, “Brother Wuzhi, do ‘colleagues’ in the capital truly hold hands like this?”

He heavily emphasized the word “colleagues.”

Meeting his innocent gaze, Liu Wu continued to answer resolutely, “They truly do.”

Chen Lu: Hehe.

You brought this upon yourself.

He grabbed Liu Wu’s hand and clutched it with every ounce of strength he possessed.

Liu Wu immediately panicked. “What are you doing? Your hand is covered in ink…”

Chen Lu openly smeared the ink covering his hand all across Liu Wu’s palm. Both of them were extremely nervous, and a thin sheen of sweat immediately formed between their overlapping hands, smearing the ink into an even darker mess.

Liu Wu could no longer maintain the solemn righteousness upon his face and guiltily turned his head away.

Neither spoke as they walked hand in hand toward the front courtyard. When several other colleagues appeared in the distance, Liu Wu finally could not resist tugging his hand and whispering, “That’s enough. Let go quickly.”

Only then did Chen Lu release him and say solemnly, “County Commandant, this clerk must attend to official business. I’ll come back and hold your hand again tonight.”

Liu Wu glared at him. Chen Lu fearlessly puffed out his little chest and continued showing concern for his colleague. “Oh dear, I got ink all over your hand. Let me wipe it clean.”

Before he could even take out his little handkerchief, County Commandant Liu turned and fled.

＊

Chen Lu had now completely seen through Brother Wuzhi’s bluff where this matter was concerned.

He possessed an exceptionally sensitive little heart. After noticing the sweat in Brother Wuzhi’s palm, the guilt in his eyes, and the tremor that had run through his chest the previous night, a bolt of lightning went crackle! through Chen Lu’s clever little head.

At last, he realized that perhaps he had been going about this the wrong way all these years.

Could it be that Brother Wuzhi also feels something for me…?

Even if it is only the tiniest little bit…

Then no one can blame this little fellow for having grand ambitions!

＊

Chen Lu summoned all his courage and intended to catch his colleague’s hand again that night and give it a proper, lingering hold.

Unfortunately, the Xiao bandits attacked again. Resisting the enemy was more important, and he found no opportunity.

Another day, Militia Commander Zhang led everyone in fighting a splendid battle and even threw Shu Da Fu into prison. Disguised as a village woman, Liu Wu also participated in the fighting. When the battle ended, he returned to the county yamen with terrifying makeup covering his face and the bloodstained hem of his skirt lifted in one hand.

Still holding up the skirt, he went directly to the yamen bathhouse, intending to find a large basin and thoroughly scrub the garment clean.

He had borrowed the dress from Chen Lu’s mother the day before, and it had fit him painfully tightly. Liu Wu had personally taken up an embroidery needle and altered it through the night, sewing on several additional pieces of cloth before he could barely wrap it around his body.

Supplies were not abundant in their small county, and both the Chen and Liu households lived honestly and simply. Since the dress had not been damaged, it could be washed and worn again. Alternatively, the cloth could be remade into a short jacket or fabric bags. In any case, it must not be wasted.

Liu Wu washed the powder from his face, revealing clear, bright features. Born in the countryside, he naturally could not compare with the elegant refinement of a noble family’s young master. Yet he had practiced martial arts since childhood. His posture was straight, his brows and eyes clear, lending him a simple, unaffected handsomeness.

Although wearing a woman’s dress made him look thoroughly ridiculous, it happened to cinch around his lean, powerful waist and emphasize the shapely curve of his backside, lending him a certain alluring charm.

Bouncing footsteps sounded behind him.

Liu Wu carefully peeled off the bloodstained dress without looking back. “You came at the right time. Militia Commander Zhang is going to raid Shu Da Fu’s residence and confiscate his property. I already sent the head constable with some men. Follow them and keep the accounts.”

No answer came for a long time. Liu Wu turned around in confusion and found Chen Lu staring at him in a stupor.

He paused, then looked down at himself. “I’m not injured. This is the bandits’ blood. Don’t be afraid.”

Chen Lu was not afraid. He merely stared blankly at him.

Brother Wuzhi from his bridal-chamber dreams had appeared before his eyes. Chen Lu had dreamed countless variations of those wedding nights, but Young Master Liu had always worn a green groom’s robe, dignified and handsome.

He had never worn a brilliant red bridal skirt.

What breathtaking spring scenery…

So I was simply too young before. My ambitions were too small, and I didn’t know how to dream properly. I wasted all those beautiful nights and splendid scenes. Wasted this broad chest. Wasted this slender waist and pert backside…

“Hey!” Liu Wu exclaimed. “Why is your nose bleeding? What did you eat this morning that gave you so much internal heat? Why are you standing there like a fool? Pinch your nose quickly! The blood is already running down your chin… Stop fooling around! I’m trying to stop the bleeding! Why are you holding my hand?”

＊

In truth, Liu Wu had not been wrong. Chen Lu really had been corrupted by that utterly shameless pair of little mandarin ducks.

Before Militia Commander Zhang and Envoy Li came to Ant County, Chen Lu might have possessed countless secret thoughts, but faced with Liu Wu’s overflowing righteousness, he had never dared put any of them into practice. Now, however, this pair of little mandarin ducks fluttered before their eyes every day, shaking Liu Wu’s heart and giving Chen Lu an opening. He decided to treat “flying and nesting together with Brother Wuzhi” as a serious undertaking.

Unfortunately, Chen Lu had only just spent the night having another very “yellow” Golden Millet Dream about spending a spring night with Madam Wu when the carrier pigeon bearing disastrous news arrived the following day.

The imperial court had abandoned Hedong and Hebei, handing the three strongholds over to the enemy.

Envoy Li, who knew nothing about this, also returned to the capital to report on his mission.

Before Envoy Li departed, Militia Commander Zhang pinned him down upon the mountain path and gave his lips a fierce, thorough gnawing. Apart from storybooks and illustrated albums, Chen Lu had never witnessed anyone kissing like that with his own eyes. He stared in amazement, overflowing with envy.

He therefore looked expectantly at Liu Wu. “Brother Wuzhi…”

“Colleagues in the capital do not do that!” Liu Wu snapped.

Ha! So you do know!

The pair of little mandarin ducks were separated from that point onward. When Militia Commander Zhang went up onto the walls to fight, he remained as vigorous as a dragon and fierce as a tiger. When reassuring the people, he was still calm and approachable. Yet whenever he reached some quiet place with no one around, his tiger hide seemed to deflate by half, leaving him distracted and despondent.

With his mandarin-duck seniors no longer present to show him the way and the war growing increasingly urgent, Chen Lu was as busy as a spinning top every day. Sometimes he went two or three days without seeing Liu Wu. He knew that Liu Wu was preoccupied with the fighting and had no attention to spare. This was hardly a suitable time to confess his feelings.

Yet sometimes, while working late into the night, he would bite his brush handle and wonder dazedly: What if we lose the battle tomorrow and Brother Wuzhi and I both die at the hands of the Xiao bandits? Would all these feelings I never confessed turn me into a ghost that keeps clinging to Brother Wuzhi, haunting him all the way to the Naihe Bridge?

I wouldn’t even let him drink Meng Po’s soup. We’d have to be reborn as neighbors again in the next life and start over as babies. Even if I couldn’t walk yet, I’d crawl next door and keep pestering him.

Elio’s Notes: In traditional Chinese afterlife folklore, souls cross the Naihe Bridge before reincarnation and drink Meng Po’s soup, which causes them to forget their previous lives. Chen Lu jokingly imagines preventing Liu Wu from drinking it so he can continue pursuing him in their next life.

Chen Lu did not know that more than ten years earlier, when he truly had been a nursing infant, he had clung to Brother Xiao Wu’s back every day like a tiny baby ghost, thereby already fulfilling the wish of his previous life.

That night, Chen Lu found an excuse to deliver supplies to the defenders at the city gate again. The spring night was slightly chilly. He pretended to sneeze, then leaned against Liu Wu beside the fire.

Liu Wu allowed him to lean there but did not open his cloak and draw him into his arms. A spring night was not bitterly cold like a winter one, so he could find no excuse to embrace him.

Chen Lu glanced around and, seeing no one nearby, reached for Liu Wu’s hand.

Liu Wu’s hand withdrew slightly.

“Colleagues are allowed to hold hands,” Chen Lu said.

Liu Wu’s hand froze awkwardly, allowing Chen Lu to seize and hold it tightly.

“The ground is hard,” Chen Lu continued. “I sat for too long during the day, and my waist hurts.”

Having thoughtfully provided Liu Wu with an excuse, he burrowed into the man’s arms.

Liu Wu could only embrace him.

Chen Lu sat there with perfect confidence in Liu Wu’s arms, lowered his head, and played with the palm covered in saber calluses and tiny scars. In the same casual voice he used for ordinary conversation, he asked softly, “Brother Wuzhi, you are already twenty-five this year. Why haven’t you married?”

Liu Wu stared down at their overlapping hands for a while before replying, “Don’t you already know? My fate is inauspicious. I’m a jinx. I bring misfortune to my parents and to my wife.”

Chen Lu knew this was merely Brother Wuzhi’s excuse. He had used it to withdraw from two engagements over the years.

Stroking a fresh scar upon the back of Liu Wu’s hand, Chen Lu thought, No one said you bring misfortune to a husband. Hehe.

“Brother Wuzhi, once the war is over, we…”

Liu Wu covered his mouth.

Chen Lu: “?”

“It is terribly inauspicious to say things like that during a war!” Liu Wu said.

Chen Lu: “???”

Even if we can’t discuss it now, can’t you at least promise me an ‘after the war’?

Chen Lu had no choice but to swallow his heartfelt confession once again. Sighing, he settled more deeply into Liu Wu’s embrace.

Brother Wuzhi was not stupid. Although he had not read many books and possessed a solemn, proper temperament, he was not rigid or old-fashioned. His mind was quick and turned no more slowly than Chen Lu’s. Chen Lu knew that Brother Wuzhi had understood his feelings long ago.

Even if he had pretended ignorance before, could he continue pretending now that he held hands with his “colleague” every day?

Chen Lu could also guess why Brother Wuzhi continued rejecting him.

He sighed once more like a tiny old man.

Outside the walls, the Xiao army was transporting supplies throughout the night. The following day would probably bring another bloody battle. In troubled times, survival was uncertain. How precious was genuine love, and how small were the worries of convention?

Chen Lu sighed. “Then once the war is over, can the two of us sit down and properly talk it over?”

Liu Wu fell silent.

Elio’s Notes: 倒歇 is a Taiyuan-area dialect expression meaning “to chat.” Here Chen Lu is asking Liu Wu to finally have a proper conversation about their relationship.

Merely promising to talk should not count as inauspicious. After a moment of silence, Liu Wu finally answered, “All right.”

Thus, the two tacitly agreed to postpone the matter until later. Chen Lu nestled against Liu Wu’s chest again and, for the moment, became quiet.

The night was deep and silent, broken only by the soft crackling of firewood. They were the only two people upon that stretch of wall, wrapped in the darkness, hidden and peaceful.

When Liu Wu heard the soft breathing of sleep coming from the person in his arms, he carefully lowered his head and rested his face against Chen Lu’s slender shoulder, holding him a little tighter as though cherishing something precious.