Futile Devices Scans

The bleak northern wind swept through the deserted streets and alleys, rattling the vermilion gates before slipping through the cracks and entering the county yamen.

The night was deep, and the entire county yamen lay in darkness. The candles in both the front and rear courtyards had been extinguished, leaving only the rise and fall of snores.

Yet a dim yellow light still flickered inside a small room tucked into the farthest corner of the side courtyard—the clerks’ office.

Chen Lu was reading by lamplight. At the County Magistrate’s orders, he was searching through the household registers for fifty villagers whose Five Elements affinity was fire, so that demonic Daoist Ma—no, Immortal Master Ma—could put them to use.

Chen Lu had never approved of the matter. During the day, he had secretly informed Liu Wu. Liu Wu went out and returned not long afterward, telling him, “Stay inside your room tonight. No matter what you hear, do not come out.”

Chen Lu trusted Brother Wuzhi completely. Brother Wuzhi was calm, intelligent, and highly skilled in martial arts. He had become head constable at such a young age and always knew what to do. Even if the sky collapsed, Brother Wuzhi would hold it up!

Thus reassured, Chen Lu settled his nerves. After leaving the yamen that evening, he first returned home to visit his father, who suffered from a chronic cough. He served his father dinner, then helped his mother mend several garments. Once the night was quiet, he returned to the clerks’ office at the county yamen. He still had to search the household registers, if only for appearance’s sake.

There was no helping it. Brother Wuzhi had his plans, but Chen Lu still needed to scribble a few names onto the paper. Otherwise, if the County Magistrate questioned him and discovered that he had never even put brush to paper, Clerk Qian would seize the opportunity to gossip and kick him while he was down, claiming that he and Brother Wuzhi had plotted from the beginning to sabotage the matter.

Wherever there were officials, there were open struggles and secret schemes. Ant County might be small, but the yamen still contained its factions. Clerk Qian belonged to the opposing faction. He habitually fawned upon whatever county magistrate had been transferred in from elsewhere and disliked local yamen runners such as Liu Wu, who worked diligently and enjoyed considerable popular support.

Despite his young age, Chen Lu had read several collections of notes and miscellaneous records written by disgraced ministers and banished officials. Though he only half understood them, he had learned a little about political infighting. After his father, Senior Clerk Chen, retired because of illness, Chen Lu inherited his position and entered the county yamen. Both openly and covertly, he stood together with Liu Wu, forming part of the yamen’s younger faction.

He knew that Clerk Qian and several constables secretly called him “Madam Lu,” mocking him for following Brother Wuzhi around all day like an eager little lackey, “going wherever his husband led.”

If Brother Wuzhi ever learned of this, he would certainly become angry. He would confront those men face-to-face and might even start a fight, beating lumps all over their heads.

But whenever Chen Lu heard it, sweetness filled his heart. He absolutely would not let Brother Wuzhi know. Hehe.

With his heart filled with such sweetness, Chen Lu pulled a treasured storybook from the little book case he carried with him and happily began slacking off, reading a tragic love story about an ordinary man and woman.

Once he became deeply absorbed, he empathized so strongly that his heart ached with sorrow and tears streamed down his face.

He cried for nearly half the night, until even his head felt dizzy. Only then did he remember his official duties and hurriedly gather himself, picking up his brush and paper once more.

The household registers were stacked in a tall pile. He held the brush in a daze, wrote only a few characters, then began nodding off. The tip of his brush left blot after blot of ink across the paper.

Two tall shadows drifted past the window, but he did not notice.

He was still dreaming sweetly of marrying into the Liu family and becoming Madam Lu.

–

In his beautiful dream, the husbands had already bowed to each other and entered the bridal chamber. Chen Lu lay limply upon the ink-stained paper, his plump little cheek flattened against it. His tiny mouth fell slightly open as he drooled over Young Master Liu beneath the wedding candles.

Suddenly, a thunderous crash exploded through the night.

“Someone help! Save me!”

The shrill scream frightened Chen Lu so badly that he knocked against the table and sprang upright. Still muddled with sleep, he completely forgot the instruction not to leave his room no matter what he heard. Believing that bandits had launched a night raid upon the county yamen, he grabbed the hollow wooden clapper used to announce the time and charged outside in a daze.

The county yamen was pitch-black. Although Chen Lu was young, he had spent years burning lamps late into the night to read storybooks, so his eyesight was poor even during the day and hopelessly blurred at night. Still half trapped in his unfinished spring dream, he staggered into the rear courtyard and collided with Daoist Ma, who had been crying for help.

Even after falling to the ground, he did not forget his responsibilities as a clerk. He frantically struck the wooden clapper and shouted at the top of his lungs, summoning everyone in the yamen.

Well, that was wonderful. He nearly ruined Brother Wuzhi’s entire plan and even got himself taken hostage.

When the two heroes hauled Chen Lu out of the county yamen, there was a brief instant when he understood Brother Wuzhi’s plan. But he had only just witnessed Daoist Ma’s head split by a saber, had a large blade pressed against his throat, and was then dragged out of the yamen on a wild nighttime run. He was so terrified that his soul nearly left his body, leaving him dizzy and disoriented.

Only after he had been “abducted” through the city and beyond its gates did the tiger-headed hero shove him back into Liu Wu’s arms. Liu Wu immediately wrapped him in a tight embrace.

A bolt of lightning seemed to crack through Chen Lu’s muddled brain. He woke up completely.

Taking advantage of the moment, he collapsed against Liu Wu. His legs went weak, leaving him like a delicate willow requiring support.

Liu Wu instantly held him even tighter and called in alarm, “A’Lu? A’Lu!”

Chen Lu heard him and felt sweetness bloom in his heart. It was not entirely an act—he truly was exhausted and sleepy. He therefore buried his head in Liu Wu’s embrace and happily fell asleep.

–

Chen Lu had no idea how long he slept. When he awoke, he found himself in a warm, brightly lit room, with someone sitting beside the bed and watching him with concern. Chen Lu hurriedly reached for the person’s hand and sweetened his voice coquettishly.

“Brother Wuzhi.”

A fit of coughing like broken gongs and battered drums answered him.

Chen Lu sprang upright in fright and began patting his father’s back. “F-Father! It’s you! Why did you get out of bed? Hurry back to your room and rest. You mustn’t tire yourself!”

Senior Clerk Chen waved a hand, indicating that his condition was tolerable. “Cough, cough… Wuzhi brought you home in the middle of the night yesterday, then… cough, cough… then he left.”

Chen Lu’s mother entered carrying a steaming bowl of medicine. “Wuzhi also filled a prescription for Lu’er first thing this morning and brought it over. He said it would calm your fright and replenish your qi and blood. He even delivered a new basket of firewood and split it into kindling before leaving. Lu’er, if you could be half as capable and efficient as your Brother Wuzhi, your father might become so happy that his illness would cure itself.”

During winter, thick logs had to be split into smaller pieces before they could conveniently be burned. In Chen Lu’s household, his elderly father was ill, his mother was frail, and Chen Lu’s thin little arms and legs made him hopelessly clumsy with an axe. Fortunately, Liu Wu visited every few days and took care of delivering and splitting all their firewood.

Chen Lu was the only son born to his parents late in life and had been thoroughly spoiled. When his mother gently scolded him, he did not feel wronged in the slightest. Instead, he giggled, hopped out of bed, and accepted the medicine bowl.

“Mother, it smells so bitter. I want to take it with sugar.”

His mother murmured another gentle complaint, then turned to find him some sugar.

Senior Clerk Chen remained seated beside the bed. As Chen Lu held the bowl and blew upon the hot medicine, he chattered to his father about the danger he had faced the previous night.

“…That demonic Daoist opened his mouth and breathed out such an enormous fire! Envoy Li wasn’t afraid at all. He rushed straight into the flames and stabbed him just like that! Ah! The blood sprayed everywhere! I nearly died of fright! My legs went weak, and I couldn’t even stand! Then… then Brother Wuzhi drove them away and brought me home. I’m only telling you, Father. Don’t tell Mother. Be careful not to frighten her…”

Chen Lu was thoughtful enough not to mention that the heroes had taken him hostage, lest his father worry.

Senior Clerk Chen coughed whenever he opened his mouth, so he did not interrupt. He merely listened with a loving expression.

Chen Lu continued chattering. “Blood splashed all over me… Huh? Where did the blood on my clothes go?”

Senior Clerk Chen finally spoke. “Cough, cough… Wuzhi looked after you for a while before he left last night. Perhaps he changed your clothes… cough, cough…”

Chen Lu said, “Hehe.”

Some blood had also splashed across Chen Lu’s face, but it was now perfectly clean.

Brother Wuzhi even wiped my face for me. Hehe.

Chen Lu happily rubbed his own cheeks while his father continued gazing at him affectionately.

After finishing the medicine, Chen Lu helped his father return to his room to rest. Claiming that he needed to go back to the county yamen for official business, he grabbed his little book case and scampered away. His parents lovingly watched him leave.

–

Chen Lu arrived at the county yamen in high spirits. He had assumed that with the demonic Daoist brought to justice, the small county would enjoy peace for the time being.

Instead, he learned that the County Magistrate had reprimanded Liu Wu for “neglecting his duties and allowing the assassins to escape.” Not only had Liu Wu been stripped of his position as head constable and demoted to an ordinary constable, he had nearly received a beating with the boards. Fortunately, most of the yamen runners pleaded for him, sparing him the physical punishment.

Chen Lu, who had arrived late, was furious. He bounced up and down, demanding to go “reason” with the County Magistrate, but Liu Wu caught his thin arm and dragged him all the way back to the clerks’ office.

Liu Wu pressed him into a chair and soothed him. “I’m fine. I never cared about that empty title in the first place. Now that the demonic Daoist is dead, the villagers no longer need to learn sorcery to face the enemy. That is what matters.”

Liu Wu moved closer and asked, “Are you feeling better? Are you still frightened? Did you drink the medicine? Have you experienced any palpitations or panic?”

Chen Lu was no longer frightened, but with Liu Wu holding both his shoulders and questioning him face-to-face with such concern, his heart truly began pounding and fluttering.

After asking several more worried questions, Liu Wu started scolding him. “Didn’t I tell you not to leave the room last night? How did the two superior officers manage to catch you?”

Chen Lu immediately poured out his grievances. “They were both so frightening! One kept smiling wickedly, and the other was cold as ice! They pulled me! Carried me! They even yanked my hair! I told them I couldn’t run any farther, but they insisted on dragging me…”

As Liu Wu listened to Chen Lu gesturing animatedly while explaining everything that had happened, he understood that the two superior officers could not really be blamed. A’Lu had jumped outside, struck the clapper, and shouted loudly, ruining their plan. They had been forced to “abduct” him in order to escape.

Liu Wu glanced around and, seeing no one nearby, sighed softly. “This was my fault. The County Magistrate did not falsely accuse me. Yesterday, I did communicate with those two and help them kill the demonic Daoist. After all, we were plotting to take a life. I worried that you would be frightened, so I did not tell you in advance. I never expected you would be harmed instead…”

Chen Lu shook his head repeatedly and seized the opportunity to place his hand over Liu Wu’s where it rested upon his shoulder. “It was my fault, Brother Wuzhi. I ruined your plan. It was all because I didn’t listen and stay obediently inside my room.”

Liu Wu’s face abruptly assumed an air of unwavering righteousness. “A’Lu, you suffered a fright. Rest here. I still have official duties.”

He had already been demoted to an ordinary constable. What official duties could he possibly have?

Chen Lu still wanted to cling to him, but Liu Wu was wholly devoted to public service. He slipped his hand free, turned, and fled.

Chen Lu, abandoned behind him, stared speechlessly.

“Awoo…”

–

Chen Lu had long known that he loved Liu Wu.

Little Chen Lu had been precociously intelligent. He could compose poetry at three and write prose at five, once earning fame throughout Ant County as a child prodigy. Unfortunately, while other prodigies were so brilliant they seemed almost uncanny, Chen Lu was so brilliant he became an uncanny little moth. At six, he discovered storybooks and supernatural tales, comprehended the ultimate truth of human existence at an early age, saw through fame and fortune, and refused even to sit the examination for the lowest scholarly degree.

His parents had been nearly forty when they finally had this only son. Both were gentle, peaceable people with no desire to compete with the world. They wished they could hold their precious child in their palms and cherish him forever. They never imposed harsh demands upon him or forced him to become ambitious.

The little prodigy eventually grew into a frail little deer without the slightest grand aspiration in his chest or the strength to truss a chicken.

All this deer desired in life was to remain beside his parents and repay them for raising him, earn enough to eat while working at the county yamen, and spend every morning and evening beside Brother Wuzhi until they grew old together…

At this point, something must be said about his Brother Wuzhi.

Liu Wu’s family lived next door to Chen Lu’s. Liu Wu’s parents had been ordinary stonemasons in the county. He loved playing with sabers and staffs from childhood, and every spare coin in the family was spent hiring a master to teach him martial arts. He recognized only a handful of written characters, all of which had been taught to him by their neighbor, Senior Clerk Chen. Liu Wu was six years older than Chen Lu. He had not merely watched Chen Lu grow up; he had accompanied him as he grew. During Chen Lu’s childhood, whenever his father was busy with official work and his mother occupied with household chores, he would cling to Little Brother Wu and chatter happily beside him. While Little Brother Wu practiced martial arts, Chen Lu sat nearby reading idle books.

The Chen and Liu families had lived beside each other harmoniously for many years and were already close. Later, when Liu Wu was fourteen, both his parents unfortunately died of illness. Senior Clerk Chen and his wife thereafter cared for the orphaned Liu Wu, practically becoming his adoptive parents. Even Liu Wu’s courtesy name, Wuzhi, had been given to him by Senior Clerk Chen. When Liu Wu entered the county yamen as a constable at eighteen, Senior Clerk Chen had recommended him.

Thus, Chen Lu and Liu Wu became even closer, childhood companions without suspicion or distance. When Chen Lu was little, he followed behind calling “Little Brother Wu” at every turn. Once grown, he followed behind calling “Brother Wuzhi” instead. Altogether, he had been following Liu Wu for nineteen years.

The first time young Chen Lu awoke at dawn, red-faced and scrubbing his underpants, it was because he had dreamed of marrying into the neighboring Liu household and becoming “Madam Lu” to Little Brother Wu.

He had continued having that dream for four years.

Inside those dreams, the candles in their bridal chamber had been lit in hundreds of different ways!

Unfortunately, Brother Wuzhi did not love him.

From childhood to adulthood, Brother Wuzhi had always been grave and proper. He kept away from women and kept even farther away from men, filled from head to toe with upright righteousness and selfless devotion to the public good.

When they were young, Brother Wuzhi had regarded him only as the little boy next door. After they grew older, he regarded him solely as a colleague in the county yamen.

Although they worked together every day, ate and drank together, entered and left side by side, and spent every morning and evening in each other’s company, Brother Wuzhi never crossed the slightest boundary with him.

Forget intimacy or affection—he would not even let Chen Lu touch his hand.

When they were children, he had clearly held Chen Lu’s hand every day while taking him out to play, hugging Little Brother A’Lu and lifting him high into the air.

Yet after they grew up, he insisted that two men must maintain proper distance and refused to touch him at all!

–

As Chen Lu dwelled upon this painful matter, all the tragic love stories about ordinary men and women that he had read resurfaced in his mind, filling his heart with bitterness.

Fortunately, Chen Lu was easygoing and knew how to comfort himself. Brother Wuzhi normally refused to be intimate with him, but after seeing him “faint from fright” while being held hostage by those heroes, had he not wrapped Chen Lu tightly in his arms?

Through the haze, Chen Lu even seemed to have heard Brother Wuzhi shout at the heroes, “Give him back to me!”

Give him back.

Hehe. That meant Chen Lu had belonged to him in the first place!

Although Brother Wuzhi did not wish to marry Madam Lu, Chen Lu was still his most beloved Little Brother A’Lu.

Hehe!

With an enemy army bearing down upon them and the country falling apart, Chen Lu could only bury his small affections and secret thoughts deep within his heart. After Liu Wu was demoted to an ordinary constable, he continued diligently guarding the city every day. Chen Lu worked at the county yamen during daylight hours and frequently visited Liu Wu and the other defenders at night, bringing them hot food and supplies against the cold.

The winter nights were bitterly cold. Sometimes Liu Wu invited him to sit beneath the city wall for a while, warming himself beside the bonfire and drinking several mouthfuls from a heated flask of wine before returning home. Chen Lu would seize the opportunity to shiver in the cold wind and lean against Liu Wu’s warm shoulder. At such times, Liu Wu not only refrained from moving away, but opened his cloak to shelter Chen Lu inside and held him tightly.

Chen Lu pretended to shiver as he burrowed into Liu Wu’s embrace, sweetness filling his heart.

See? If we remain colleagues at the county yamen for the rest of our lives, won’t we still spend every morning and evening together and grow old side by side?

Everything changed after the two heroes returned to Ant County.

Envoy Li was flogged, and Commander Zhang assumed his new post. After matters settled, Liu Wu went to the county yamen’s rear courtyard to visit the injured Envoy Li—and witnessed Colleague Zhang carrying Colleague Li onto the bed while Colleague Li nuzzled his head against Colleague Zhang’s shoulder.

The newly appointed County Commandant Liu fell silent.

“…”

County Commandant Liu bade farewell to his two superior officers and turned back toward the side courtyard, where he stood staring blankly into space. His face still radiated upright righteousness, but the fingers of his right hand unconsciously picked and scraped at the hilt of the saber at his waist.

Chen Lu emerged from the room and narrowed his eyes for a careful look. He recognized the small gesture Brother Wuzhi had made whenever his thoughts were in turmoil ever since childhood.

“Brother Wuzhi, what happened? Is Envoy Li’s injury all right?”

Liu Wu’s hand trembled and moved away from his saber hilt, though his expression remained perfectly proper. “Nothing happened. Envoy Li’s injury is not serious. I still have official duties. I’m leaving.”

Chen Lu stared after him.

“…”

If he was so busy with official duties, why had he come all the way to the clerks’ side courtyard merely to stand there in a daze?

Liu Wu had just witnessed the two superior officers behaving intimately and suspected that something was unusual between them. Ordinarily, he should have shared this gossip with Junior Clerk Chen, his good colleague with whom he discussed everything. Yet for some reason, guilt gnawed at him. He said not a single word and fled.

–

He did not need to say anything. The following day, Chen Lu witnessed the gossip with his own eyes.

While taking inventory of the supplies Commander Zhang had recovered from the secret passage, Chen Lu discovered an unusual map that appeared to depict the tunnel system. When Liu Wu heard, he considered it extremely important and quickly pulled Chen Lu along to find the two superior officers.

The two superior officers had just returned from eating lunch at Elder Sister’s home. One was carrying the other upon his back as they strolled along the stone-paved road to digest their meal.

The moment he saw Chen Lu approaching, Envoy Li immediately wrapped both arms tightly around Commander Zhang’s neck, squeezing until Commander Zhang’s face turned red and he could scarcely breathe. Commander Zhang set Envoy Li down, but Envoy Li tried to cling to him again, continually nuzzling against his shoulder.

Inside, Chen Lu exclaimed, Huh? You two… you two… There is definitely something strange about you two!

Not merely strange!

Envoy Li always appeared so cold and had been so vicious when killing the demonic Daoist. Who could have imagined that he would behave so clingily toward Commander Zhang?

Heavens!

Commander Zhang looked deeply embarrassed. “He drank some wine and became muddled from drunkenness.”

Inside, Chen Lu retorted, Why were you drinking in broad daylight? Either you deliberately got him drunk, or he is deliberately pretending to be drunk! There is absolutely something strange about you two!

But he would never dare speak such thoughts aloud. Following Brother Wuzhi’s example, he put on an expression of impeccable righteousness.

–

The group discussed the serious matter. Commander Zhang returned the injured and weakened Envoy Li to the county yamen to recuperate, then followed Liu Wu and Chen Lu to inspect the secret passage behind the mountain. After confirming that a tunnel truly existed, Commander Zhang and Liu Wu began organizing laborers to excavate it on the spot.

With his weak arms and legs, Chen Lu was not merely unable to help—the sunlight left him unable even to open his eyes. Even so, he squinted fiercely and struggled to carry stones, nearly slipping and falling. Liu Wu caught him, then drove him back to the county yamen.

Just as Chen Lu was about to leave, Liu Wu called him back and asked Commander Zhang, “Commander, I have not yet had the chance to ask how we should arrange matters for the soldiers staying in the county yamen. They arrived with Envoy Li, are highly skilled, and have no commander restraining them. I have always worried they might cause trouble, so I assigned yamen runners to watch them. But now every available runner has been sent out to work, leaving no one at the yamen…”

Commander Zhang considered the question for a moment. “It is indeed inappropriate for them to remain inside the county yamen. The clerks’ quarters are cramped, and forcing them to stay there is unfair. Doesn’t that rat of a magistrate have two rows of fine rooms in his rear courtyard? We can arrange for the soldiers to live there. However, Si… Envoy Li has succeeded to the office of envoy, so logically, they should obey his commands. Clerk Chen, I must trouble you to return and ask whether Envoy Li agrees.”

Chen Lu stared. “What? Me?”

He had to question that cold, frightening Envoy Li?

Seeing his fear, Liu Wu interjected, “Commander, perhaps I can ask him when I return later…”

Chen Lu hurriedly cut him off. “I’ll ask! I’ll ask! Arranging internal affairs falls within a clerk’s duties, and I have always been responsible for the soldiers’ food and lodging. Commander, rest assured. I will explain everything clearly to Envoy Li. If he agrees, I will also continue arranging the soldiers’ meals in the future!”

He even struggled to puff out his little chest, which was as flat as a chopping board.

He might be timid and physically weak, but he was still useful! He was Brother Wuzhi’s good colleague and capable helper—not a useless burden trailing behind him!

Commander Zhang nodded in satisfaction and turned away to continue working.

Liu Wu smiled at Chen Lu and lifted his hand as though intending to pat his head. But such a gesture toward a colleague would be rather improper, so he withdrew it midway and instead brushed Chen Lu’s shoulder.

“Then I must trouble you, A’Lu. Envoy Li may not speak much, but he is an upright man and will not make things difficult for you. Return and explain it to him slowly. There is no need to be afraid.”

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