Futile Devices Scans

The two fought another battle on the bed. In the end, Li Si coaxed Brother Xiao into simply touching each other through another round.

Brother Xiao had excellent stamina and was still not satisfied. Li Si’s stamina was just as good, but after being frightened several times in one night and already having suffered a “saber injury,” his nerves had yet to settle. He felt that however wonderful intimacy was, they still needed to know when enough was enough. He hurriedly acted as spoiled as he possibly could and coaxed Brother Xiao to sleep.

＊

When Li Si woke in the morning, Brother Xiao, apparently still unsatisfied even in sleep, had him pinned down tightly. His two long legs locked around Li Si like a brutal wrestling hold, while both arms bound him just as possessively.

Li Si could hardly breathe beneath the restraint and woke as soon as the sky began to brighten. But when he saw Brother Xiao sleeping soundly with his head resting on Li Si’s shoulder, he could not bear to wake him. Hazy morning light filtered through the cloth over the window, gilding Brother Xiao’s face. His handsome, heroic brows and eyes lay bathed in the glow, and even the fine down between his brows could be seen clearly. His high nose rose and fell faintly with every breath, while his soft lips curved slightly upward as though asking Li Si for a kiss.

Li Si silently watched him for a long time. Gradually, even the rise and fall of his breathing became identical to Brother Xiao’s. Although summer nights in the north were slightly cool, there was no need to wear clothes to sleep. Their bare chests pressed together, skin against skin, and even their heartbeats seemed to rise and fall in the same rhythm.

After an unknown length of time, Li Si heard Brother Xiao’s breathing deepen. His eyelids lifted slightly, and a bright, keen gaze spilled from beneath his lashes, followed by a low chuckle from his throat.

In a hoarse voice, Brother Xiao said, “Little lecher, have you looked your fill?”

The instant Brother Xiao moved, their overlapping skin rubbed together like dry firewood throwing sparks. Li Si’s breathing deepened too, and his face began to burn.

Brother Xiao smiled and reached downward. “You stubbornly said you didn’t want any more last night. Why are you so energetic again this morning?” One hand reached for the little horsewhip while his other arm tightened and pressed Li Si into his embrace.

Seeing that he was about to be pressed between the broad planes of Brother Xiao’s chest again, Li Si shrank backward in fright. “No, I’ll faint…”

“Hahaha! So you know it yourself!”

Li Si glared at him in grievance. He had fainted so many times—of course he knew by now!

Brother Xiao’s smile was terribly wicked. “I wanted to ask you last time, little lecher! The moment we first met, you buried yourself there and went stupid. Did you already take a fancy to me back then? Were you born liking men?”

Li Si did not know what he had been born liking. He had lived muddleheadedly for more than ten years before being slapped awake by Brother Xiao. Could it be… he had been born liking great tigers?

“I don’t know,” he muttered. He had intended to say more, but Brother Xiao’s hand grew increasingly skillful, so Li Si could only bury his face against Brother Xiao’s shoulder and hum softly, both comfortable and nervous. “Gently.”

“Don’t be afraid. I’ll be careful and won’t hurt you. Let me try using my mouth.”

Li Si became exceedingly nervous. “Gently… your teeth are so sharp… it hurts when they scrape…”

＊

The two rustled beneath the blankets early in the morning. Just as they were being affectionate, urgent pounding suddenly came from outside the room, followed once again by Zhou Qi’s irritatingly loud howl.

“Boss! Something terrible has happened again!”

Boss’s head abruptly emerged from beneath the blankets. There was still something in his mouth, making his roar muffled and wet. “What happened now?!”

“The Xiao bandits are back at the foot of the mountain! A whole lot of them came this time!”

Boss cursed furiously, “Sooner or later, I’m going to fight all the way back to their homeland! I’ll lock their dog Emperor in a cellar and have you carry a gong to his ear every single night, beating it while howling, ‘Something terrible has happened!’”

The cursing made him feel slightly better, but he still had to climb out of bed. Li Si hurriedly began dressing too.

＊

When the door opened, Zhou Qi saw Young Master Li putting on his face covering. Even though his clothing was wrapped tightly around his chest, many bruises remained visible, and the edge of his mask was surrounded by bite marks.

Zhou Qi exclaimed, “Good heavens!”

Looking at Boss again, he saw that his neck was also covered in red marks and that he was rinsing his mouth with tea at the table. “Tsk, tsk! Boss, you should cover yourself too!”

Boss spat out the tea and casually pulled his collar together. “Stop talking nonsense! Hurry up!”

＊

The two dressed in a rush, grabbed their weapons, and followed Zhou Qi out. Cook Wu chased after them and stuffed a pouch of steamed buns and a flask of water into Young Master Li’s hands.

Li Si held his saber in one hand, hugged the pouch of steamed buns with the other, and tucked the water flask beneath his arm. His little hooves swiftly caught up with Brother Xiao and Elder Brother Zhou Qi. Brother Xiao turned and took the saber from him, freeing Li Si’s hand, so Li Si took a steamed bun from the pouch, broke it into small pieces, and first held one to Brother Xiao’s mouth.

Zhou Qi exclaimed, “Good heavens…”

Li Si asked, “Elder Brother Zhou Qi, have you eaten breakfast? Here.”

Zhang San said, “Why are you feeding him? He has hands and feet—does he need you to feed him? Let him take one and eat it himself! And stop feeding us. Hurry and eat your fill!”

＊

Zhang San sent Zhou Qi away with one steamed bun and told him to continue searching for County Commandant Liu. He himself hurried to the drill ground with Li Si, then went through the tunnel to the new sentry post halfway down the mountain—the same mountainside exit from which the two had slipped out several nights earlier to assassinate the enemy commander.

The Zhou brothers had dug a small cave beside the exit, placed a bed, table, and chairs inside, and built a little stove. It had become another excellent sentry post.

Zhang San opened the little door and hid among the dead branches and weeds piled outside for camouflage, then looked down. On the far bank of the Fen River, the western camp, which had originally been sparse, had expanded to more than three times its previous size overnight. The newly arrived troops resembled an enormous swarm of black locusts, densely covering the riverbank as they pitched camp and transported military supplies.

Zhou Ba said, “Boss, there was nothing here last night. Then this whole crowd suddenly showed up this morning, popping out like ghosts!”

Zhang San gazed toward the distant plain and deduced, “They were probably stationed in those abandoned villages last night.”

He called Li Si over. “Sisi, come here. Your eyes are good. Count how many tents and horses there are, and what equipment they brought.”

Li Si was still gnawing the remaining half of his steamed bun. He craned his neck and looked for a while before saying, “It’s a little far. I’ll go to the earthen fortress below the mountain and look. It’ll be closer.”

Zhang San wanted to go with him, but Li Si shook his head. “In daylight, they can see the mountainside from below. They might notice someone moving on the slope. I’ll go alone and come back quickly.”

He held the steamed bun between his teeth, pulled a cluster of dry branches over himself as cover, and swiftly slid down the slope like a little mountain goat.

Before long, a small head covered in branches faintly appeared atop the earthen fortress. A short while later, the branches reappeared on the fortress sentry tower.

＊

Zhang San suppressed his impatience and waited roughly one incense stick. Li Si silently slipped back. The steamed bun was gone, and something bulged inside his robe. When he took it out, it turned out to be two bed warmers. They had been dented by the fallen rocks, but after being hammered back into shape and repaired, they could still be used.

Elio’s Notes: A 汤婆子 was a traditional metal hot-water vessel used to warm a bed or keep the body warm.

“Hey! Those are mine and my brother’s bed warmers!” Zhou Ba beamed. “Many thanks, Young Master Li!”

Zhou Qi happened to return with County Commandant Liu at that moment. Each brother hugged one recovered bed warmer, delighted.

＊

Li Si then told Zhang San and Liu Wu what he had discovered.

The situation was extremely unfavorable. Nearly ten thousand Xiao troops had arrived this time. Excluding conscripted laborers doing heavy work, there were probably five or six thousand soldiers, including a thousand cavalrymen. All were black-armored heavy cavalry—the very same soldiers clad in thick armor, nearly impervious to blades and arrows, who had almost cut Li Si down beneath their horses.

The Xiao army had not only brought many soldiers but also an enormous quantity of siege equipment. There were more than ten stone-throwing machines alone, dozens of siege carts, and more scaling ladders and crossbows than could easily be counted.

Zhang San furrowed his brows. Sisi had never seen a battle array like this, but Zhang San had. Back when Sisi had been imprisoned in Kuiyuan City’s dungeon, Zhang San had helped Brother Xu defend the northern gate during an assault. The Xiao army had deployed in exactly this manner then.

After losing the entire western camp, the Xiao army had finally realized that this nameless little mountain city was not as simple as it looked. They had actually brought the sort of force used to attack a major prefectural city to surround and destroy it.

＊

Zhang San and Liu Wu returned to the county to arrange the defenses and remained on high alert the entire day, yet the mountain road stayed empty. Not one enemy came.

The Xiao army spent the whole day preparing beside the Fen River. They repaired the bridge and stationed sentries on both banks. But unlike the previous attacks, the commander this time was in no hurry to climb the mountain and establish camp, nor was he even eager to cross the river. He merely set up the main camp on the opposite bank. Ox carts came and went, continuously transporting siege equipment, provisions, and fodder from the plain.

It was the same on the first day, the same on the second, and still the same on the third.

＊

At noon on the third day, Drill Instructor Li was training the new soldiers at the drill ground. Commander Zhang and County Commandant Liu each gnawed on a dry flatbread for lunch. The two brothers sat shoulder to shoulder at the tunnel entrance halfway down the mountain, gazing together toward the distant Xiao camp.

Liu Wu asked, “Commander, have you figured out what the Xiao bandits mean to do?”

Zhang San looked thoughtful. “I’ve been thinking about it constantly these past few days…”

“And?”

“I’ve been thinking about whether your backside really hurt that badly after you and Little Chen did it. This is the first time I’ve seen you sit down in several days.”

Liu Wu: “…”

He silently reached for his saber.

Zhang San said, “Good Brother Liu, don’t be angry, don’t be angry. The mountainside is steep here. If we brothers start harming each other, we might both roll down and hand the Xiao bandits an easy victory. Brother Liu, eating dry flatbread must make you thirsty. Sit there. I’ll pour you some water.”

Zhang San rose attentively and used the Zhou brothers’ little teapot to pour Brother Liu a cup, then carried it over with a smile.

He sat beside the bristling Liu Wu again and held down his saber while coaxing, “Drink some water, drink some water. Brother Liu, your skin is much too thin. It’s nothing shameful. I wish I could do it every night. As for that secret manual Little Chen gave me, I tried everything in the first half. But Sisi absolutely refuses to try anything from the second half. The moment I touch his backside, he’s afraid it’ll hurt. Brother Liu, does it truly hurt that badly?”

Liu Wu held the cup in both hands and could not conveniently draw his saber. Smoldering with anger, he said, “Why don’t you try it yourself? All you think about is bullying Young Master Li!”

Zhang San clicked his tongue. “How is this bullying? In the pictures, both sides looked like they were enjoying themselves. Didn’t Brother Liu enjoy it?”

Liu Wu said, “…Why should I discuss such things with you?! If you want to know whether it feels good, try it yourself!”

Zhang San sighed. “It isn’t that I’m unwilling, but in Little Chen’s secret manual, all the ones underneath were delicate-looking handsome men. I count as handsome too, but how could I possibly be more delicate than Sisi? I’m several years older than him as well. What sense would it make for him to press me underneath?”

Liu Wu snapped, “I’m not more delicate than A’Lu either! I’m older than him too! What does any of that matter?”

Zhang San reconsidered and hesitantly said, “That does make some sense. So Brother Liu really enjoyed it?”

Brother Liu had reached the end of his patience. He set the cup aside, finally drew his saber, and drove the shameless bastard away with several sharp slashes.

＊

Zhang San was rebuffed by Brother Liu but paid it no mind. Shamelessly, he crawled back through the tunnel into the county and went about his work.

He had prepared for a long time and was rubbing his hands together, planning to loosen every restraint and go all out with Sisi that night!

＊

He did not return until late at night. Without so much as a lantern, he crossed the courtyard in pitch darkness and approached the main room. Reaching for the door, he asked with irrepressible excitement, “Sisi? Are you back?”

From inside, Sisi answered softly, “I’m back.”

Zhang San pushed open the door, and Sisi, who had been standing with his back to him before the table, turned around. Sisi wore black from head to toe, making his figure seem even taller and more slender, like both a pine and a dragon, with more upright strength than any of those delicate beauties. His hair was tied in the same plain bun as usual, with a small lock falling over his temple and lending a touch of liveliness to his otherwise unadorned appearance. His eyes were clear, his features extremely handsome. He was not precisely delicate, yet he still made one want to cherish him.

Unable to restrain himself, Zhang San swallowed and began undressing as he asked excitedly, “Are you ready?”

Li Si answered with equal excitement, “I’m ready.”

Zhang San hurriedly stripped off his clothes and trousers, walked to the bedside… and picked up another set of black clothing lying beside the pillow, swiftly changing into it himself.

—This is even more exciting than doing that! Tonight we’re going to hold hands and kill bandits again! Hehe!

＊

“Put on that chain mail too,” Zhang San said while changing into his night clothes.

Li Si disliked how tight and dirty the chain mail was and dawdled beside the bed. Zhang San glared at him, so he could only obediently pull it over his black clothing.

“It reflects light. We’ll be noticed.” Li Si tugged at the fine iron links.

Zhang San had prepared for that. He produced a black cloak and draped it around Li Si’s shoulders.

Zhang San himself did not dare be careless either. For once, he put on leather armor too.

Li Si strapped on his saber, bow, and arrows. Besides carrying his saber, Zhang San slung a small shield across his back. More thoroughly armed than ever before, the two left the county yamen and walked toward the drill ground.

＊

Zhang San had spent the past few days thinking matters through. The enemy army had arrived in overwhelming force yet remained motionless. From the look of things, they intended to wait until all provisions and equipment had arrived, then begin a prolonged general assault, using a force dozens of times larger than Ant County’s to grind the city down, wave after wave.

Admittedly, Ant County held every advantage of time and terrain. It had only one outward-facing gate, and the mountain road in and out was so narrow there was room to position only a single stone-throwing machine. Goose carts and scaling ladders would be even harder to push up the slope and bring against the walls, while cavalry were completely useless. Moreover, the rockfall halfway up the mountain blocked the road and gave Ant County a second defensive line.

But Ant County had only limited troops, weapons, equipment, provisions, and fodder. Ten consecutive days of siege might be manageable—but what about twenty days? A month? Two months?

Zhang San resolved to take the initiative again and boldly gamble for survival. After all, finding life amid danger and remembering that “a soldier never tires of salty tricks” were his specialties.

＊

Zhang San led Li Si down through the tunnel. As before, they slipped down the mountainside from the new sentry post, made their way through the half-collapsed earthen fortress, and continued to the riverbank.

Both focused on the task, with no intention of playing in the river or wasting time again. Taking advantage of the darkness, they crept toward the Xiao camp.

The camp was far denser and more orderly than before, with strict defenses throughout. Sentry posts stood everywhere, while mounted and foot patrols moved constantly back and forth, leaving almost no opening.

＊

The two lay behind a large boulder beside the river and quietly observed. Before long, they saw two lightly equipped mounted scouts approaching at a slow pace.

The surroundings were empty. Zhang San whispered, “You take the left. I’ll take the right. Keep it quiet.”

The horses approached at a walk. Just as they reached the boulder, two figures burst from behind it, stepped onto the stone, and leapt toward them together.

＊

Zhang San pounced like a tiger, bringing the force of thunder behind the broad saber that cleaved downward at the first rider’s head.

He had gathered tremendous strength, and the treasured saber was exceedingly sharp. It split through the helmet and half the man’s skull, knocking the gruesomely slain Xiao soldier from his horse in the blink of an eye.

As Zhang San swung, Li Si stepped onto the first rider’s horse and sprang through the air toward the second cavalryman beside him. Borrowing the faint moonlight, he drove his saber precisely into the man’s neck.

The cavalryman’s eyes widened in terror as he clutched his throat and stared at Li Si. Li Si pulled the blade free. The man’s eyes rolled upward, blood gurgling from his throat as he fell backward from the horse.

Afraid the body would hit the ground too loudly, Li Si slid from his own horse and caught him on the way down, slowly lowering him to the ground. Then he hurried over to calm the frightened horse on Zhang San’s side.

Zhang San went over and finished off the Xiao soldier whose throat still gurgled and whose body still twitched, generously sending him on his way.

The two worked together seamlessly. In no more than one or two breaths, the silent slaughter was complete.

Zhang San flicked blood from his blade and raised the treasured saber for a careful look—another tiny nick had appeared.

Seeing Li Si wrinkle his face at him, Zhang San said sheepishly, “A saber is meant to be used! Good Sisi, stop glaring at me. Hurry and change your disguise.”

＊

The two put on the Xiao soldiers’ equipment. Li Si was already wearing chain mail and now added another layer of leather armor, making everything even tighter and more uncomfortable. He dawdled as he mounted his horse, then followed Zhang San and muttered, “Brother Xiao, it’s tight.”

“Endure it even if it’s tight. You’re not allowed to take off the chain mail,” Zhang San said. “Have you been eating too much lately? Did you get fat?”

As he spoke, he turned and stretched out an arm to squeeze Li Si’s upper arm. “This is hard. You haven’t gotten fat.”

Li Si had not gotten fat. He had simply become more solidly built. Although his chest was not as broad and full as Brother Xiao’s, it had grown wider and firmer. Brother Xiao seized the opportunity to fondle his chest several times, then tried to follow the motion downward toward his little colt’s backside.

Li Si hurriedly slapped his horse’s rump and fled far ahead.

＊

Pretending to be mounted scouts returning from patrol, the two gradually approached one of the Xiao camp’s sentry posts.