When they entered the Hall of Honoring the Worthy, Liuzhu was visibly delighted. Li Congjia sensed it and smiled softly. “Had enough of being cooped up in the palace?”
“It is all behind us now… It is only that My Lord’s eyes still show no sign of getting better.”
“I am used to it. Whether they recover or not does not matter much anymore…” Halfway through speaking, he too sensed that something about the Hall felt different from usual, even quieter. Liuzhu paused as well. There was not a servant to be seen anywhere, though the pavilions and pond remained unchanged. “My Lord should return to your chamber first. Liuzhu will go see what has happened. We have only been away a few days and they have already grown this lax.”
She saw him into the room, then went searching on her own.
She crossed the white-jade bridge built as an exact copy of the one in Jinling and still saw no one. “Yan’er?” she called out the name of one of the young maids at random, but there was no answer.
Outside the servants’ quarters, the many palace attendants who had followed them here were huddled in their own rooms, not daring to take so much as half a step outside. The sudden sound of Liuzhu knocking frightened them into a burst of cries.
“What in the world happened?” Liuzhu raised her voice and pushed hard at the door. At the sound of her voice, the room gradually quieted. A young maid of sixteen or seventeen came trembling to open the door. “Sister Liuzhu…” The moment she saw Liuzhu, she burst into tears. Liuzhu pulled her into her arms. “Yan’er, what happened? Why are you crying? My Lord has come back today. Do not carry on like this…”
“The Queen… the Queen…”
Liuzhu’s hands went rigid. She suddenly gripped the girl’s shoulders. “What happened to the Queen?”
“Last night, after dark… the Prince of Jin brought men into the Hall. He said he wished to invite the Queen to a banquet at the Prince of Jin’s Residence. The Queen shut herself in and refused to come out, so the Prince of Jin threatened to set fire to the Hall and burn the rest of the clan alive… The Queen had no choice but to go with him.”
Liuzhu looked into the servants’ room. Everyone was curled together behind the gauze curtain at the back of the couch, clearly badly frightened. She clenched the handkerchief in her hand to keep her own panic under control. Seeing Yan’er’s eyes full of tears, she reached out and wiped them away. “Do not cry yet.” Yan’er obediently bit her lip and stepped aside to let Liuzhu enter first. “It is all right. My Lord is back today.”
Those words seemed to offer comfort greater than anything else in the world. Li Congjia might not have the means to accomplish any great feats, and now he had lost everything and was himself a prisoner, yet the moment everyone here heard that their Ruler had returned, it was as though salvation had come.
Their Ruler was back. Things could not become too terrible now.
To think of him was to think of that smile, wild geese flying across the open fields, always something untouched by suffering.
Once Liuzhu had learned what happened, she said, “No more crying. My Lord has been unwell lately and cannot bear such grief around him. Remember this. Everything will be all right. Every one of us will be all right.”
They all wiped away their tears and watched Liuzhu go to report to him.
She wished the corridors of this Hall could be as endless as those of the imperial palace in Jinling. Liuzhu truly did not want to burden him with more worry, but something enormous had happened. The Prince of Jin had already gone to the very edge of madness, and there was no knowing whether the Queen was safe.
At last she reached the door of his chamber. She faintly heard the soft clink of tea ware inside, followed by his quiet cough. Liuzhu forced her voice to remain calm. “My Lord.”
She pushed the door open, only to find him already standing in the middle of the room before she could speak. “Something happened in the Hall?”
Liuzhu had not expected him to sense something wrong so quickly. The question left her momentarily stunned. Li Congjia turned slightly to face the doorway. “Something must have happened. Liuzhu, just tell me the truth.”
“The Prince of Jin came here…”
“The Prince of Jin?” He immediately knew that whatever had happened must be serious. Liuzhu hesitated, and a sudden realization rose through Li Congjia’s shock. “Nüying… where is the Queen?”
“The Prince of Jin took the Queen away by force… He used the people of the clan here to threaten her into going to the Prince of Jin’s Residence. The Queen had no choice…”
“I should have realized it sooner… Zhao Guangyi has already lost his reason and no longer cares about anything. After he came into the palace making threats that day, I never imagined he had already become this brazen.”
Nüying. His thoughts plunged into chaos and he began to cough. When Liuzhu came to support him, she could feel the fear in him now. He was terrified that something might happen to Nüying. If it did, even the last thread of hope he still had would truly be gone.
He had given her his word. She was such a proud person. Li Congjia had caused Ehuang a lifetime of pain; today he could not let her younger sister suffer again… Too many people had already died. He could no longer bear the weight of so many people’s hopes and hearts.
He could not go on dreaming again and again of the way her lips and mouth had ulcerated that day.
“Does My Lord intend to go to the Prince of Jin’s Residence?”
Those words pulled him back into the empty Hall of Honoring the Worthy. Li Congjia stood in the center of his chamber. The wooden door stood wide open, and the bone-piercing wind struck him head-on, cold enough to ache.
Several young maids approached from a distance. Yan’er and the others still had red eyes and tear tracks on their faces. Liuzhu thought it fortunate that he could not see them now, only to watch every one of them kneel outside the chamber. “My Lord…”
Whenever they no longer knew what to do, they all thought of coming to Li Congjia.
He stood frozen there and slowly closed his eyes behind the white silk. It was that feeling again. In truth, he could not do it, yet now he was the support so many people leaned upon.
He wanted to tell them that he too had no idea what Zhao Guangyi intended to do next. He wanted to say that he did not know how to make him release Nüying.
But he could not say it.
It had been this way for a very long time. Because everyone around him needed a pillar to lean on, even when he had reached the last strength of a spent bow he still had to smile as though the clouds were light and the wind gentle. He kept his eyes closed and drew a deep breath. A trace of peach fragrance still lingered in the air. Everyone around him was helpless with grief, yet they saw their Ruler lift one hand to smooth the creases from the embroidery at his sleeve, then draw the silver fur more tightly around himself. When he spoke, he was so calm it was as though nothing at all had happened.
He said quietly to them, “It is still a festival. Get up. Bring some peach broth and Tusu wine.”
Then, as though remembering something, he added, “Liuzhu, help me change. Tianshui Blue.” Everyone rose and went to obey, each person unable to resist looking back at him once. Even a single glance was enough to find the strength to keep going.
Only Liuzhu, when she finally saw that expanse of Tianshui Blue again, let tears fall beside him. “My Lord… My Lord, please do not do this…”
“I am fine. It is a festival after all. I may as well wear this robe again.”
“My Lord… if you intend to go to the Prince of Jin’s Residence…”
“Why would I go to the Prince of Jin’s Residence? Liuzhu, go see whether the Queen took the Shaocao pipa with her.”
She was startled by the request, but she followed his instructions and went to look.
Before Nüying left, she had reverently placed her elder sister’s relic as an offering before the Buddha image, covering it with a peony-patterned, gold-embroidered cloth brought from Jiangnan. Liuzhu hesitated. For so long, no outsider had ever been allowed to touch this instrument. In the past Empress Zhaohui had carried it with her own hands, and later Nüying likewise refused to let anyone handle it carelessly. Now…
A chill suddenly swept through her entire body.
Liuzhu stood there at a loss. She was afraid that from now on, she alone might remain to hold it.
Remembering what he had said, she finally lifted it with trembling hands and carried it carefully back.
Li Congjia took the pipa from her and slowly cradled it in his arms.
Liuzhu did not know what he intended to do and feared that something else might happen to him now. “My Lord, if you are not going to the Prince of Jin’s Residence… then the Queen…”
“Zhao Guangyi is doing all this because he is waiting for me to go to him. If I do not go, then naturally he cannot hurt Nüying.” Liuzhu understood at once. Li Congjia tilted his head slightly and rested it against the pipa. “Do not worry. For the moment she will be safe. Go out first. Let me have some quiet and think this through carefully.”
Liuzhu slowly withdrew. She waited beneath the corridor outside, knowing in her heart that he was once again staking his own lifeblood to fight his way through this.
Every thought cost him another piece of himself.
Why could they not leave him alone?
Crying was already useless. She could no longer even cry.
Dusk deepened. In a secluded side pavilion of the Prince of Jin’s Residence, someone approached slowly and pushed open the door. Nüying started to her feet. “You…”
“This Prince came to see whether Madam has been comfortable here.”
Nüying turned away and refused to look at him. Zhao Guangyi sat down and poured himself a cup of tea. “There is another piece of good news. The Marquis of Disobedience left the palace today and returned to the Hall of Honoring the Worthy.”
“My Lord? He went back?”
“His Majesty showed mercy… So reluctant to part, indeed…”
Nüying forced down her anger. “What exactly are you trying to say?”
“Only the truth. The Marquis of Disobedience returned to the Hall of Honoring the Worthy at noon today. Think about it, Madam. What hour is it now? He should have known what happened the moment he returned, so why has he still not come to this Prince to demand your release?”
Nüying’s expression dimmed too, yet she knew that his not coming was precisely the right thing. “My Lord would never think as you do. He must know this is your trap.”
“And how is that any different? What does it matter if he knows what I want? I have prepared everything today. All I lack is the right moment. Think about it, Madam. What is His Majesty to the Marquis of Disobedience? It would not be too much to call him the enemy who destroyed his ancestral altars and his state. Now Madam is in this Prince’s hands, yet for His Majesty’s sake he will not come for you… What do you suppose this Prince means?”
“Zhao Guangyi, that is vicious slander! You have lost your mind! Heaven will punish you for this one day!”
Zhao Guangyi remained perfectly mild, carefully blowing the foam from the tea. “Do not be so impatient, Madam. This Prince is tired of waiting as well. Why not think of a way to bring your Ruler here on Madam’s behalf?”
He had been drinking from the tea bowl as steadily as if nothing were wrong, but suddenly he flung it down in front of Nüying and shattered it. She cried out in fright. Wang Fu immediately entered from outside. Zhao Guangyi did not even raise his eyes. “Go. Remove Madam’s ankle-tied stockings and send them to the Hall of Honoring the Worthy.”
Elio’s Notes: The source uses 角袜 (jiaowa), an old style of sock formed from joined pieces and secured with a tie at the ankle. FD renders it here as “ankle-tied stockings.” The novel treats it as an extremely private garment, which is why Zhao Guangyi’s order is such a deliberate humiliation and threat.
Li Congjia allowed no one else into his chamber. It remained silent until night had fully fallen.
At last, red sandalwood incense began to burn faintly once more. He had not worn Tianshui Blue for too long. Everything had reached an extreme today, and he could no longer steady his mind. He needed to find some comfort.
Once he put on this robe, he could still be the Li Congjia of those years.
Qin strings, Flowing Wind and Resounding Spring, the scent of red sandalwood. Even he had missed them too much. He had stubbornly refused to let any of these appear before Zhao Kuangyin again, imagining that denial itself was a punishment. Looking back now, the thought seemed almost absurd.
The beast-eared, three-legged censer with its purple-gold glaze had also been something Zhao Kuangyin remembered to bring from Jinling. War and strife faded into desolation, rouge became tears; the pipa longed to speak of having no regrets. Across ten thousand li, a clear wind swept through, leaving all across the Nine Provinces drunk.
A ruler of a fallen kingdom.
One day, those four words finally applied to him. Was it really something a robe or a wisp of red sandalwood could define?
He thought of Jinling. At this hour, the unchanging bells of Andong Temple would be sounding. Now that he had suddenly left those bells behind, he found himself unused to the silence. Ten thousand tangled thoughts twisted to their limit, and then, without warning, he became calm.
Zhao Guangyi was not Zhao Guangyi.
He was not Zhao Kuangyin’s younger brother, so he had no scruples. Yet Zhao Kuangyin, no matter what, had always sincerely regarded him as flesh and blood. Had Li Congjia been placed in the same situation back then, it would have been no different. The one who had something to lose had been defeated from the very beginning.
Though he never admitted it or showed it, Li Congjia understood Zhao Kuangyin very well. Back then Zhao Kuangyin had gone south and searched for so long. With his temperament, if the man had not been his own younger brother, he would never have lowered himself to accept the titles and rewards promised by the crown prince of a small Tang state.
That was why Li Congjia had never been able to tell him. He could not imagine the harm that would follow if this guilt, bound up with something almost like a long-held wish and a lifelong regret, were one day shattered and everything built upon it collapsed.
They were both stubborn people by nature, and Zhao Kuangyin was even more frightening when he became fixated. Li Congjia smiled self-mockingly. His own presence here in Bianjing was proof enough.
Zhao Kuangyin did not bow to fate.
Everyone had dignity, even the man who stood at the very summit beneath Heaven. Even Li Congjia had forgotten that someone of such sweeping force could still be hurt. Zhao Kuangyin too was trying to preserve his own dignity.
How could he make him understand? You were wrong. You were wrong from the beginning. Everything, every single part of it, was wrong. Your guilt toward him was wrong. Your tolerance of him was wrong.
Li Congjia could not think of a way.
The pipa still held the faint scent of Nüying’s incense, gently reminding him that Zhao Guangyi had seized Nüying for no reason other than to control him. Yet Li Congjia was now nothing more than a surrendered ruler in Bianjing. What use was there in controlling him?
The farther he followed the thought, the more terrifying it became.
Nüying. Zhao Kuangyin.
How was he supposed to choose?
Without noticing, night had fallen. Red sandalwood still burned in the corner, its haze of quiet settling to the very bottom of the room.
The Hall had been completely still when sudden running footsteps rang out, scattering the room’s peace. Liuzhu, still out of breath, reported from outside the door, “My Lord!”
“What happened?” Li Congjia was startled. His thoughts broke off at once, and he had the faint certainty that it could not be anything good.
“My Lord… the Prince of Jin’s Residence sent something over in a brocade box. They said it was to be presented to the Marquis of Disobedience.”
“Bring it in first.”
Liuzhu pushed the door open. Li Congjia said, “Open it and see what it is.”
“My Lord!” One glance left her overcome with shame and outrage, and she clamped the box shut. Li Congjia could not see, but he heard at once that something was wrong. “She… what happened to her? What is it?” He was truly frightened now. He remembered Zhao Guangyi’s state earlier that day, restless and unhinged as though possessed. What might he do? Li Congjia had held out against him for more than half the day. He might…
He could not let anything happen to Nüying.
He was afraid that what had been sent this time was her…
But Liuzhu finally spoke, and it was crueler than anything he had imagined. “The Queen’s ankle-tied stockings…”
Li Congjia struck the table and rose. “Zhao Guangyi!” Such a deeply private article of a woman’s clothing, and he had actually…
“He has gone mad… such a despicable method…” Still cradling the pipa, Li Congjia coughed without stopping, yet stubbornly refused to let Liuzhu support him. “Put this pipa back. Put it exactly where it was.” He pressed a hand hard over his mouth and nose and swallowed everything back, then cleared his voice and handed the Shaocao pipa to her.
As the instrument changed hands, Liuzhu clearly heard his sigh. “Ehuang… perhaps you were wrong. Following me… was suffering already fated from the beginning?”
Yes. Why should he drag Nüying into this? This had never been her dream to begin with.
Liuzhu could not spare another thought for anything else. Layer upon layer of lamplight surrounded her. The Hall immediately stirred into another wave of commotion, people moving uneasily beneath the corridors, the whole night restless and frenzied.
She could not control her thoughts. One terrible possibility after another surged into her mind. Panicked beyond reason, she heard Li Congjia’s instruction and hurried away without thinking to put the pipa back.
Yet when she returned, the bedchamber was empty.
He was gone.
The wooden chair stood empty, all its warmth gone.
On the table lay the strip of silk he normally used to cover his eyes. Two simple characters had been written across it. Nearly collapsing, Liuzhu bent down to pick it up. Her fingertips trembled, her throat locked so tightly that for a moment she could neither hold it steady nor see it clearly.
Her whole body convulsed with grief until she could no longer cry. At last she made out the two characters. “Live.”
That was all he had written. Live. No matter what happened, live.
The characters were dark. By the lamplight, Liuzhu could no longer hold herself together and collapsed to the floor. He had written them in blood; his heart’s blood seeped into the white ground of the silk, carrying the ruthless finality of an ending.
“My Lord… My Lord!”
The Penglai courtyard is closed around the maiden of Tiantai; in the painted hall she sleeps by day and no one speaks. She casts aside the pillow, dark hair shining like kingfisher clouds; from her embroidered clothes comes an uncommon fragrance. He slips in, the pearl lock stirs; startled, she wakes from a dream behind the silver screen. Her face slowly blooms into a radiant smile; they gaze upon one another with boundless feeling.
Elio’s Notes: These lines are Li Yu’s Pusa Man: The Penglai Courtyard Closes around the Tiantai Maiden (《菩萨蛮·蓬莱院闭天台女》), the same lyric echoed by Chapter 92’s title.
Jewelled pendants like jadeite, painted flying apsaras. Who still remembers the pleasure boats of Qinhuai? The boundless grace of those days, the jade-like beauty as though it were yesterday; with the lift of a hand, the turn of a wrist, an entire river of spring water poured away.
Incense falls in tassels, wax turns to tears, just like the hearts of two people. The coral pillow is wet with tears, the brocade quilt cold; waking, the night watch is nearly spent.
Elio’s Notes: This second ci quotation is Geng Lou Zi: Golden Sparrow Hairpin (《更漏子·金雀钗》). Attribution is unstable: many modern editions give Wen Tingyun, while some Li Yu collections include it. The novel prints 珊枕腻; received texts also show 山枕腻. FD follows the novel’s wording.
None of it had been any use… all of it was useless. The wisest are easily hurt.
A solitary carriage disappeared into the night, beyond sight, beyond sight forever.
Liuzhu collapsed soundlessly in pain, clutching the strip of silk. Nothing in the world seemed to matter beside the two characters he had spent his own lifeblood to write: Live.
This was perhaps… the fiercest expression he had ever made.
Bianjing after nightfall was still prosperous and bright. Travelers came and went with festival joy on their faces. Figures in pale ink-blue robes bowed courteously to elders they met along the way and offered their greetings. A thousand boats raced along the Bian River, while children on Rainbow Bridge held up honey candy and smiled in perfect contentment.
All was harmony and peace. Home, state, all beneath Heaven ought to have passed a quiet night.
Yet he alone was somber and silent, drawing the silver fox fur more tightly around himself, a bleak smile on his lips.