An Xun and the others came back into the room. Grandpa looked at everyone gathered around his bed and said, “You should all go home and rest. Why are you all here keeping an old man company? None of you have work tomorrow? Even if you don’t want to sleep, I do.” An Xun nodded. An Zi Yan sat down on the room’s sofa. “Driving back now is more trouble. I’ll stay here tonight.”
“How are you supposed to stay here? Nonsense,” Grandpa said.
“The patient should sleep. I’ll take care of myself.”
An Xun glanced at An Zi Yan, then turned toward Grandpa. “Dad, it’s too late. Nobody slept properly. I wouldn’t feel comfortable making him drive back now either.” Wu Xin added, “That’s right, Dad. Don’t worry about him. You need to rest.” Mai Ding nodded. “An Zi Yan and I can squeeze onto the sofa. Besides, this place is closer to the company.”
Grandpa could not argue with all of them and reluctantly accepted it. “Only tonight.” Wu Xin dragged the still-unwilling An Su away. Only three people remained in the room. Mai Ding flattened Grandpa’s pillow and tucked the blanket securely around him. Grandpa kept sighing. “I feel like everyone’s treating me like I’m in a vegetative state.”
“Don’t say nonsense, Grandpa. Hurry and sleep. If you don’t sleep, neither of us will dare sleep.”
“All right, all right.”
People seemed to become more like children as they grew old. Grandpa fell asleep quickly. An Zi Yan remained sitting on the sofa. Mai Ding whispered, “I’m glad Grandpa is okay. We should sleep too. We still have work tomorrow.”
“You sleep first.”
Mai Ding obediently lay down on the sofa and pressed himself as far inward as possible to leave more space for An Zi Yan. An Zi Yan switched off the lights and sat down again. Mai Ding’s knees could touch An Zi Yan’s back. The room was too dark for him to see An Zi Yan’s expression. Before long, Mai Ding fell deeply asleep. When he woke, he could not tell whether An Zi Yan had gotten up or had never slept at all. Fu Shu came in and said to An Zi Yan, “Leave things here to me. You should go to work.”
“Mm.”
Why did everybody’s expressions look so strange? An Su had been the same last night. Was everyone simply exhausted? Once they were in the car, Mai Ding fastened his seat belt. “Last night scared me to death. I’m so glad Grandpa is fine. He should be discharged in a few days. I was planning to make Grandpa the first person we visit for New Year too. An Zi Yan, what do you think I should give Grandpa? I hope he doesn’t scare me like last time. How many days should we stay at Grandpa’s house…” Knowing Grandpa was fine, Mai Ding smiled and talked endlessly. Suddenly, An Zi Yan slammed on the brakes. “Stop talking!” Mai Ding froze and stared at him, unable to understand why he was angry. An Zi Yan turned his face away. “Sorry. It’s nothing.”
This was too strange. An Zi Yan was acting far too strangely.
“Are you hiding something from me?”
An Zi Yan looked at Mai Ding. He did not want to see Mai Ding hurt, but he also knew Mai Ding would never want him to hide this. His hands tightened on the steering wheel. “Grandpa… doesn’t have much time left.” Mai Ding had to have heard wrong. An Zi Yan had to have said it wrong. The smile withered on Mai Ding’s face. After several minutes, or perhaps much longer, Mai Ding grabbed An Zi Yan’s sleeve. “You’re talking nonsense. You’re lying. Don’t lie to me. Stop saying nonsense!!” He pulled An Zi Yan’s hand from the steering wheel, and Mai Ding’s tears fell onto An Zi Yan’s clothes.
An Zi Yan did not answer or look at him. If telling Mai Ding not to cry could actually stop the tears, perhaps An Zi Yan would have said it. But this was a kind of crying even An Zi Yan could not stop.
“Could the doctor be wrong? Grandpa looks perfectly fine. We can take him to other hospitals. And miracles happen to sick people all over the world. A miracle could happen to Grandpa too, right?” An Zi Yan reached over and wiped away the tears that kept spilling from Mai Ding’s eyes.
“You don’t believe it?”
“I want to believe it, Mai Ding. I really want to.”
Mai Ding forced back his tears. If he was this devastated because of Grandpa, how much worse must An Zi Yan feel? Was Mai Ding really going to cry in front of the person with the deepest wound and make An Zi Yan turn around and heal him instead? An Zi Yan had comforted him so many times. Wouldn’t it be too cruel to demand comfort again now?
“A miracle will happen.” Mai Ding spoke with a certainty he had never possessed before.
At work, many coworkers noticed Mai Ding’s low mood, but for An Zi Yan’s sake he kept control of his tears. An Zi Yan had always been skilled at burying his feelings in the deepest place possible, so nobody noticed anything unusual about him. Almost every day after work, they went straight to the hospital, though Grandpa refused to let them stay overnight. Mai Ding always cheerfully asked Grandpa about old stories. He worked very hard to stay happy, listening as Grandpa narrated the past vividly while biting down on his trembling lower lip. Several times, he felt he could not hold on and was about to cry. An Zi Yan usually stood nearby, saying very little, occasionally checking the machines beside Grandpa that were keeping him alive. If anything looked wrong, he immediately went for a nurse. Even the books he read had all changed to medical subjects.
But nobody could stop the illness.
Grandpa grew thinner every day, and his condition worsened. Sometimes he needed someone to support him just to get out of bed. An Zi Yan shortened his working hours. Mai Ding desperately wanted to go with him, but An Zi Yan made him stay at the company. The hospital had become unbearable. An Zi Yan also no longer wanted to watch Mai Ding suffer through forcing smiles while holding back his emotions.
At ten in the morning, An Zi Yan received a message from An Xun. Every hospital that had reviewed Grandpa’s test results had reached the same conclusion. Expressionless, An Zi Yan put away his phone and stood to leave the office. Mai Ding, returning from Marketing, happened to meet him. “Are you going over there?”
“Mm.”
“I’ll go too…”
“Rest for a while first. Come after work.”
Manager Cui stepped out of another elevator. When he saw An Zi Yan, he gave a cold snort. “What, you’ve barely been at work and you’re tired already? I heard President Wang say somebody in your family is sick. Is all this really necessary? If you don’t want the job, plenty of people would gladly replace you. Must be comfortable collecting such a high salary without doing any work. Even if somebody in your family died, this isn’t how you treat your job.” An Zi Yan looked at Manager Cui coldly, then suddenly grabbed the front of his clothes and slammed him against the wall. If An Zi Yan hit Manager Cui at the company, even President Wang might not be able to protect him. But Mai Ding did not care whether An Zi Yan was fired. The emotion An Zi Yan had not yet released might make him beat Manager Cui crippled, or even kill him, and Mai Ding could not bear the consequences of that. An Zi Yan raised his hand. Mai Ding shouted, “An Zi Yan! Calm down! I’m begging you, calm down!” Mai Ding’s voice seemed to call An Zi Yan’s reason back. He released Manager Cui and stepped into the elevator. Manager Cui’s face had gone pale and he still had not recovered. He had seen An Zi Yan’s eyes clearly just now. Those were the eyes of someone who wanted him dead.