By the time Shao Wu left the school gates, the sky had already turned overcast. Thick, low clouds crowded overhead as he pedaled into the cold wind, thinking it might snow. He could not quite explain the feeling. This really had nothing to do with him, yet it was as if something were calling him onward. He could not stop himself from wanting to find him.
Wang Yujun.
His older maternal half-brother, whom he barely knew. A gay man.
What was he supposed to say when he saw Wang Yujun? How did you become gay? What does being gay feel like? Or… Shao Wu was so lost in thought that he nearly ran a red light.
To Shao Wu, Wang Yujun seemed like someone from another world. He had no proper job, wore his hair in an explosive Shamate style, drenched himself in perfume, and although he was already in his twenties, spent his days wasting time in internet cafés. And like Dad had said, he even… kissed men openly on the street.
Shao Wu put one foot to the ground and got off his bicycle.
This was only his second time here. He now saw that the place was called Jinlai Internet Café. All the windows were covered with gray curtains, perhaps to keep inspectors from looking in. Farther down, near the end of the alley, there were also two hair salons.
Shao Wu locked his bicycle, took a deep breath, and pushed open the door.
The same yellow-haired attendant was there, completely absorbed in some game Shao Wu could not identify, his keyboard clattering nonstop. The place smelled exactly as bad as before.
There were not many customers at this hour. One glance around showed Shao Wu red hair, white hair, yellow hair, and even a girl with twin ponytails, but no sign of Wang Yujun’s explosive Shamate hairstyle.
“Um…” Shao Wu spoke quietly, perhaps because he felt guilty. “Hi. I wanted to ask… around what time does Wang Yujun usually come here?”
The attendant glanced up at him before looking back at the screen. “Usually around now, I guess. Who knows if he’ll show today? Maybe he went off to fuck some guy in the ass again. What, does he owe you money too?”
Shao Wu’s heart jolted. For an instant he wondered if he had misheard, but the words had been perfectly clear. The attendant had really said “fuck some guy in the ass.” Shao Wu could not understand how anyone could say something like that so matter-of-factly.
“…I need to talk to him about something. Then… I’ll take a computer for an hour and wait.”
“Want a private booth?”
“A booth? No… no.”
Shao Wu sat at a computer and browsed aimlessly, glancing toward the door every few minutes. From what the attendant had said, it sounded as though Wang Yujun owed quite a few people money.
But an hour passed and Wang Yujun still had not appeared. Shao Wu’s stomach was already growling, but the café smelled so foul that he could not bring himself to eat anything. He endured the hunger and paid for another hour.
“Why don’t you call his mobile?” the attendant said with a shrug, then added, “Though that goddamn bastard’s phone is out of credit every other day.”
“I’ll wait a little longer,” Shao Wu said quietly.
Evening drew closer, and more and more people came in to use the computers, most of them students. One machine after another powered on, their towers humming. At least the café was not cold.
Two hours passed. Shao Wu was starving.
He stood up and decided to stop waiting.
The instant he pushed open the glass door, Shao Wu shivered. Wind and snow swept straight into his face, and everything before him was a vast blur of darkness. It really had started snowing. Shao Wu pulled his scarf tighter and thought he would probably have to walk his bicycle home.
Snow was rare in Yongchuan winters, especially snow this heavy. A thin white layer had already begun to gather on the leaves of the osmanthus trees along the road.
At some point his shoelace had come undone. Shao Wu crouched at the entrance to the café to retie it. Just as he finished and looked up, he saw a pair of skinny legs standing in front of him, bare ankles showing above low-top canvas shoes.
“Done waiting?” Wang Yujun stood with his arms folded, a half-smile on his face. “That old bastard called me and said some kid was waiting for me.”
Shao Wu stood and sniffed. “I… I came to find you.”
In weather this cold, Wang Yujun was wearing only a bright red turtleneck, cropped jeans, and low-top canvas shoes without even a pair of socks. His hair was still an explosive mess, though this time he was not wearing the heavy black chain or any earrings.
“Have you eaten?”
“…No.”
“Then come on,” Wang Yujun said. “I haven’t eaten either. I’m starving like hell.”
Wang Yujun led Shao Wu through turn after turn in the alley until they entered a tiny hole-in-the-wall restaurant. He seemed to come here often. Without even looking at the menu, he ordered two bowls of beef-tripe noodles.
“You came looking for me?” Wang Yujun propped his chin on one hand and spoke lazily. “Don’t tell me you’re here for the money from last time.”
“No…”
“Then spit it out.”
Shao Wu swallowed nervously. “I heard that you… that you’re…” Before he could finish, Wang Yujun raised an eyebrow and laughed. “Gay? An ass-fucker? A freak? Or what?” His features were actually quite delicate, with fine brows and eyes, and paired with that tone, the effect was intensely mocking.
Shao Wu was left speechless.
“Yeah. I’m gay. So what?”
“…”
Right. So what? Shao Wu had so many questions he wanted to ask, yet none of them would come out.
The owner brought over the noodles. Wang Yujun split apart a pair of disposable chopsticks and began eating without paying Shao Wu any attention.
Shao Wu was starving too, and the beef-tripe noodles smelled genuinely delicious, so he lowered his head and started eating. The two of them wolfed down their food, with only the rich aroma of braised meat drifting between them.
Wang Yujun finished first and made a very short phone call. “Come over… Long Er Noodle Shop… hurry up!”
Then he propped his chin on his hand and sat motionless, his gaze drifting toward Shao Wu’s face from time to time as though his mind were elsewhere.
A little later, Shao Wu finished too. He pulled out a napkin and wiped his mouth.
Wang Yujun smiled. “What a pampered little young master. So particular about everything. When I was your age, I was already selling myself to men just to get a bowl of noodles.”
Shao Wu’s eyes went round. Wang Yujun said, “Relax, I don’t have AIDS,” then gave a derisive little laugh. “I’ve only been with the same guy all these years. God, I was such a happy little dumbass back then.”
Shao Wu kept both hands on his thighs and silently clenched the fabric of his school-uniform pants.
Wang Yujun felt utterly foreign to him.
“What did you actually come to see me about?” Wang Yujun lit a cigarette and held it between his lips.
Shao Wu’s heart pounded like a drum. “I wanted to ask you… how did you become gay?”
His voice dropped almost to nothing when he said the word “gay.”
Wang Yujun smoked without answering.
After a long while, he said carelessly, “You are too, aren’t you? I can tell.”
Shao Wu: “!!!”
“I knew the night I saw you at Jinlai. You’re way too green. I could tell at a glance.”
“I’m not! I—”
“Oh, cut the crap.” The curtain over the shop door lifted, and Wang Yujun waved toward the entrance. “Over here.”
A man came in. He had a buzz cut and glasses, an ordinary face, but he was fairly tall.
The man sat beside Wang Yujun, looked at Shao Wu, and asked with a grin, “What’s this? All three of us?”
Wang Yujun lightly slapped his cheek. “In your dreams.” Then he suddenly caught the back of the man’s head and kissed him deeply. Because of the snow, the three of them were the only customers in the shop, but the owner was sitting right behind the cash register.
Shao Wu’s hand jerked and knocked his chopsticks to the floor. He had no idea what Wang Yujun was trying to prove, but the scene was simply too shocking. His face flushed bright red in an instant, and he had no idea where to look.
He heard the owner sigh under his breath, “What a sin.”
Wang Yujun’s lips were red from the kiss, and his voice had gone slightly hoarse. “Understand now? That’s it. I was born this way. I was born gay.”
The man in glasses only smiled and said nothing.
“I’m leaving.” Wang Yujun stood up, paused, then suddenly walked around the table and came to Shao Wu’s side.
He bent down and murmured beside Shao Wu’s ear, “Oh, and actually, I’m not the one doing the fucking. I’m the one getting fucked.”