Once Lian Jue Xiu threw himself into filming, he became a madman. If he happened to encounter actors who worked well with him and were in good form, his madness knew no bounds. He became like a Duracell battery from a commercial—the longer he worked, the more energetic he got. He seemed to need neither sleep nor food, as though a casual breath of air were enough for him to absorb the essence of the sun and moon and replenish himself with endless energy.
Yan Su Ang and Zhang Jia Jia had worked with him many times and were naturally used to it. But for Chen De Zhang and Tan Fei, it was a living hell. Getting up before dawn and working late into the night was bad enough; they also had to endure constant psychological bombardment and remain on high alert twenty-four hours a day.
Fortunately, they had other jobs, so every so often the production had no choice but to take a day off.
Ordinarily, whenever they had a day off, Lian Jue Xiu would hole up somewhere reviewing the footage they had already shot. So Yan Su Ang was rather surprised to receive a call from him today.
“Want to go out for a drink tonight?”
Yan Su Ang raised an eyebrow. “You’re sure?”
“Mm.”
“All right.” Although he very much wanted to see Xiao Bai, Lian Jue Xiu’s abnormal behavior made him instinctively suspect something was going on.
Lian Jue Xiu was silent for a moment. “Bring Xiao Bai.”
“……”
Yan Su Ang’s internal alarm line instantly shot upward. “Reason?”
“Does a director need a reason to communicate with an actor?”
“Communicate…” Yan Su Ang drew out the word, his tone ambiguous.
Lian Jue Xiu continued, “Bring his assistant manager too.”
“Jia Zhi Qing?” Why did everything these days seem to involve him? Yan Su Ang asked with interest, “Reason?”
“Communication.”
“That’s a terrible reason.”
“You and Xiao Bai can have some private time while we’re there.”
Yan Su Ang froze, then the corner of his mouth slowly curved upward. “Now that sounds a little more interesting.”
“Eight tonight at Pyramid. See you there.”
Yan Su Ang looked at the disconnected call. His smile disappeared. He tapped the tabletop twice, then dialed another number.
The other person answered.
“Gao Qin? Are you free tonight?”
Pyramid was a small karaoke club in the city and one of the places where Lian Jue Xiu, Yan Su Ang, and the others frequently met.
The advantage of karaoke was that once the door closed, nobody cared how deafeningly loud things got. It offered excellent privacy.
The karaoke club’s owner also knew them well. Usually, if anyone resembling paparazzi came near, he would warn them. He had even designed a temporary escape route for them. The service was extremely attentive.
So Lian Jue Xiu waited comfortably on a sofa in the lobby.
When Yan Su Ang appeared with Xiao Bai and Jia Zhi Qing, he immediately stood up.
Xiao Bai greeted him respectfully. “Hello, Director Lian.”
Lian Jue Xiu said, “We’re out to have fun. No need to be so formal.” As he spoke, his gaze shifted toward Jia Zhi Qing.
But Jia Zhi Qing was staring fixedly at the expensive liquor displayed inside a glass cabinet in the lobby.
Lian Jue Xiu moved closer. “You like drinking?”
Jia Zhi Qing asked, “Is it expensive?”
Lian Jue Xiu smiled. “Not particularly.”
Jia Zhi Qing looked disappointed. “Sigh. Then forget it.”
Lian Jue Xiu stared at him. “Why forget it? If you want some, drink it.”
Xiao Bai said, “Because if he stole it, it still wouldn’t be worth much.”
Lian Jue Xiu looked at Yan Su Ang. “?”
Yan Su Ang looked at the ceiling. “……”
If Lian Jue Xiu had merely been confused before, entering the private room gave him a genuine shock.
He raised an eyebrow. “Why are you here?”
While elegantly choosing songs, Gao Qin replied casually, “It isn’t often that the great Director Lian finds time to ‘communicate’ with my artist and my assistant. How could I possibly not be present?”
Lian Jue Xiu turned toward Yan Su Ang again. “!”
Yan Su Ang continued studying the ceiling.
Jia Zhi Qing rushed to the center seat, picked up the food and drink menu, and began flipping through it while muttering, “This is good. That’s good. This one’s expensive—very good. That one’s even more expensive—even better…”
Helpless, Lian Jue Xiu sat on Jia Zhi Qing’s other side and called across him to Gao Qin, “Don’t you never sing?”
“But I listen to music.”
“Wouldn’t listening at home be better?”
“I like it live.”
Jia Zhi Qing suddenly raised his head and said ominously, “Then whatever you do, don’t regret it.”
“……”
Gao Qin and Lian Jue Xiu both froze.
Yan Su Ang remembered Jia Zhi Qing’s previous assessment of Xiao Bai’s singing voice and immediately understood. He turned to look at Xiao Bai and found his eyes wide open, fixed unwaveringly on the songbook in Gao Qin’s hands.
Understanding perfectly, Yan Su Ang said, “Why don’t we start picking songs?”
Jia Zhi Qing’s entire body shuddered. “Singing is something you have to do after eating and drinking your fill. Otherwise, it’s very easy to suffer from weak qi, physical weakness, kidney deficiency…”
Everyone’s gazes became strange.
Yan Su Ang, Lian Jue Xiu, and Gao Qin looked at one another as though trying to select which of them should serve as the representative case of kidney deficiency.
Jia Zhi Qing frantically pressed the call button for the waiter while shouting, “Order food! Order food!”
Lian Jue Xiu wiped a hand over his face and asked Xiao Bai, “How many meals has he missed?”
“One. Great God said we were coming out for karaoke tonight, so he decided to save that meal.”
Jia Zhi Qing stared blankly at the menu, practically drooling.
Lian Jue Xiu found the sight amusing and could not resist reaching out to ruffle his hair, only for Gao Qin to slap his hand away with a sharp smack.
Yan Su Ang immediately pulled Xiao Bai over to the farthest corner.
Lian Jue Xiu’s expression changed slightly. “What are you doing?”
Without changing expression, Gao Qin said, “My cousin is too stupid. I’m afraid he’ll infect you.”
Jia Zhi Qing’s drool instantly disappeared. He turned indignantly toward Gao Qin. “Who are you calling stupid, Cous-in?”
Gao Qin said, “See? His hearing is bad too.”
Lian Jue Xiu fell silent for a long while before turning toward Yan Su Ang with a sinister smile. “Cousin. Mm?”
Yan Su Ang innocently spread his hands. “Didn’t I tell you?”
“No.”
“Well, I’ve told you now.”
“……”
The waiter entered, and Jia Zhi Qing proceeded to order almost everything on the menu.
Lian Jue Xiu watched in astonishment. “Can you finish all that?”
Jia Zhi Qing said unconcernedly, “We can take the leftovers home. Then tomorrow’s meals are covered too.”
Lian Jue Xiu glanced at Gao Qin. “Your cousin seems to spend his entire life struggling along the poverty line.”
Gao Qin said, “Mm.”
“And yet you enjoy a life of decadent luxury.”
“Mm.”
“Don’t you feel guilty?”
“We’re cousins.” Gao Qin spoke slowly. “The kind of cousins who can be separated by three thousand li.”
Jia Zhi Qing said indignantly, “He’s Gao the Skinflayer.”
Gao Qin said, “Next time I’ll give you a wake-up call in the middle of the night.”
Jia Zhi Qing looked at him sideways. “Why? To wake me up to pee? You really do meddle in everything.”
“No. To come clean my toilet.”
Jia Zhi Qing glared. “Have I ever told you you’re a pervert?”
Gao Qin nodded. “A few years ago.”
“And then?”
“You cleaned my toilet for three days.”
Jia Zhi Qing seemed to remember the incident and corrected him. “Two days. Feng Ya Lun helped me clean it on the other day.”
At the mention of Feng Ya Lun, Gao Qin immediately fell silent.
Fortunately, the waiter brought in their food just in time, preventing the atmosphere from freezing.
Jia Zhi Qing ate four-sevenths of everything that arrived.
Xiao Bai ate two-sevenths.
Yan Su Ang, Gao Qin, and Lian Jue Xiu together finished the remaining one-seventh.
Once they finished eating, Xiao Bai’s gaze glued itself to the songbook again.
Jia Zhi Qing wiped his hands, pulled two earplugs from his pocket, stuffed them into his ears, then waved magnificently. “Begin.”
Lian Jue Xiu pulled the earplugs back out and smiled bitterly. “Even if you have no confidence in my voice, shouldn’t you at least have a little confidence in someone who’s won Best Male Singer several years in a row?”
Jia Zhi Qing snatched the earplugs back and said gravely, “You don’t understand.”
Lian Jue Xiu watched in bafflement as he plugged his ears again.
One minute later, he understood perfectly.
Quiet-looking Xiao Bai was actually a microphone hog.
Being a mic hog by itself was fine.
The problem was that Xiao Bai, whose speaking voice sounded wonderful, was not only a mic hog—he was also completely tone-deaf.
Even being a tone-deaf mic hog could have been endured.
The problem was that beside this tone-deaf mic hog stood Yan Su Ang, his utterly shameless lackey.
Every time Xiao Bai finished caterwauling his way through a song, Great God would sigh admiringly, “Such music should exist only in heaven. How often could mortals ever hear it?”
Elio’s Notes: Yan Su Ang is adapting a famous line meaning that a piece of music is so extraordinary it belongs in heaven and is rarely heard among mortals. The narrator immediately turns the compliment against Xiao Bai’s singing.
Of course such music belonged only in heaven. Any mortal who heard it had already ascended there.
Jia Zhi Qing continued ordering food, doing his utmost to stuff tomorrow’s breakfast, lunch, and dinner into his stomach. Lian Jue Xiu and Gao Qin, now brothers in suffering, sat together exchanging bitter smiles.
Lian Jue Xiu regretted ever suggesting Pyramid.
Gao Qin regretted insisting on staying to “listen to live music.”
In the end, Gao Qin invoked his authority as Xiao Bai’s manager and abruptly ended the unforgettable concert in the name of “protecting the artist’s voice.”
On the way out, Yan Su Ang, Lian Jue Xiu, and Gao Qin went to retrieve their cars.
Gao Qin walked ahead.
Lian Jue Xiu deliberately slowed Yan Su Ang down so they fell behind.
“Why didn’t you tell me Jia Zhi Qing was Gao Qin’s cousin?” Just thinking about it still left Lian Jue Xiu rather annoyed at having been kept in the dark.
Yan Su Ang said, “You know now, don’t you?”
“If you’d told me earlier, I wouldn’t have…”
Yan Su Ang supplied, “Wouldn’t have considered him for a one-night stand?”
Lian Jue Xiu turned his head away and said lazily, “I only thought he was kind of nice.”
“He has a girlfriend.”
Lian Jue Xiu raised his hands in surrender. “Okay. Let’s leave the whole thing behind us. Nothing happened anyway.”
Yan Su Ang suddenly draped an arm across his shoulders. “Exactly. Coming out with friends to sing and talk like this is pretty good too. Besides, drifting around from place to place the way you do isn’t a long-term solution. You should find someone and settle down.”
Lian Jue Xiu deliberately said, “If I’d known you were gay too, I would’ve made a move on you back then.”
Yan Su Ang released him and put on an innocent expression. “I’m not gay.”
Lian Jue Xiu rolled his eyes. “Still pretending? Anybody with eyes can see what you feel about Xiao Bai.”
“I’m not pretending. I really am not gay.” Yan Su Ang finished speaking, then smiled sweetly. “I’m Xiao-Bai-sexual.”
Lian Jue Xiu rolled his eyes again. “More like a pretty-boy kept man.”
Elio’s Notes: Yan Su Ang invents 小白恋, literally something like “Xiao-Bai-romantic/Xiao-Bai-sexual.” Lian Jue Xiu answers with 小白脸, literally “little white face,” a Chinese term for a handsome pretty boy—often one financially supported by a lover. The joke hinges on the shared 小白.
“Get lost.”
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