For the final episode of Nemesis of the Shameless, the producer put together a special.
Past cases and memorable quotes were replayed one after another.
Xiao Fu Ping and Xiao Bai sat quietly to the side watching.
Although the producer had asked them to offer a few thoughts whenever appropriate to express their nostalgia for the program, the two of them maintained an extraordinary degree of silence from beginning to end.
Xiao Fu Ping watched with a solemn expression. Even when the footage showed Xiao Bai making one of his laugh-inducingly blunt remarks, not a muscle moved on his face.
Xiao Bai was a little more animated. Every so often he would bite his lip, and by the time they had sat through an entire episode, his lower lip had been bitten rosy red and tender.
When the VCR ended, Xiao Fu Ping let out a long breath. “That felt like living through the last few months all over again.”
Xiao Bai said, “But we only relived the working hours. We didn’t relive the eating and sleeping hours.”
“……”
At last, a hint of a smile appeared on Xiao Fu Ping’s face. “Once the show is over, I can finally get some proper sleep.”
Xiao Bai remembered Yan Su Ang telling him that Xiao Fu Ping was leaving the program because of his health, so he earnestly advised, “You should exercise more.”
Xiao Fu Ping laughed. “I’m going away to recuperate, not changing careers to become a fitness coach. Shouldn’t you at least tell me to rest properly and take good care of myself?”
“Everyone says that already. So I need to remind you to exercise more too, or you’ll get rusty.”
The producer shot them a look. This was, after all, the final episode of Nemesis of the Shameless. He had no desire to turn it into a program about everyday household chatter.
Xiao Fu Ping quickly returned to the subject. “I wonder whether Old Zhang from Qinghe Village has been exercising. Hopefully his children have kept their word and are truly taking care of him so he can enjoy his old age in peace.”
Old Zhang from Qinghe Village had once appeared on the program. After dividing his house equally between his son and daughter, the two children had begun passing responsibility for caring for him back and forth. Eventually, Old Zhang had been left without a home.
Unable to endure it any longer, Old Zhang had gone on the program to air his grievances.
The episode caused a widespread reaction after it aired.
The leaders at the workplaces of both children also criticized them. In the end, they finally came to their senses and turned back before it was too late.
The program later followed up with them twice, and both times the result was a happy family reunion. As for whether the children were merely putting on a show or had genuinely repented, only heaven and earth knew.
Xiao Bai said, “When I have time, I’ll go visit him. I’ll also tell him to come exercise with you when he’s free.”
Xiao Fu Ping burst out laughing.
Since it was the final episode, the ratings reached an unprecedented high—0.4 percentage points higher than the first episode’s 27.3.
Messages poured into NCC’s official website. Many viewers urged the station not to cancel the program, saying that if Xiao Fu Ping had to leave, they could simply bring in another host to help.
Li Mo, Zhong Yao, Gossip Kid, and others all appeared on the list of suggestions.
A handful of people even specifically nominated Yan Su Ang.
The station executives called an emergency meeting.
In the end, the boss made the final decision: in order to preserve Nemesis of the Shameless’s reputation and consistency and avoid unnecessary controversy, the program would temporarily go off the air. Once Xiao Fu Ping’s health improved, it could be revived.
Since the boss had spoken, the entire station naturally adopted the same line, repeatedly emphasizing that the hiatus was merely a temporary measure and that everything depended on Xiao Fu Ping’s recovery.
And so, the pressure on the television station instantly transferred to the hospital where Xiao Fu Ping was staying.
Under the overwhelming tide of netizen comments and the media’s all-pervasive concern, the hospital director had no choice but to make a public statement. “Treating patients is an obligation our hospital cannot shirk. We will do everything in our power to cure every patient who comes through our doors. Let everyone come in with peace of mind and leave with a smile.”
From then on, “Come in with peace of mind, leave with a smile” became the newest catchphrase for hospital stays.
On Xiao Bai’s schedule, the entry for Nemesis of the Shameless disappeared and was replaced by There’s Always a Higher Mountain.
Gao Qin asked, “Do you know what kind of program this is?”
Xiao Bai honestly shook his head.
“Good. Tomorrow, tell me what this program does.” Gao Qin glanced at Jia Zhi Qing, who was dozing off nearby. “Otherwise, Jia Zhi Qing’s salary this month…”
“Salary?” Jia Zhi Qing shot upright, every trace of drowsiness vanishing.
Gao Qin slowly continued, “Gets cut in half.”
“Why is my salary the one getting cut?” What kind of logic was it to punish him with extra homework because somebody else had failed to do theirs?
Gao Qin said, “Because you’re the nanny. And the insurance policy.”
Jia Zhi Qing muttered, “Can I decline the insurance?”
Gao Qin shrugged. “Can I decline to pay your salary?”
Jia Zhi Qing immediately grabbed Xiao Bai and dragged him toward the door.
Xiao Bai was still confused. “Where are we going?”
“To do your homework!”
The air inside the internet café was murky.
Xiao Bai and Jia Zhi Qing squeezed together into a small corner.
Everyone nearby was either playing World of Warcraft or Counter-Strike, each one practically boiling with hot blood. Only the two of them sat there quietly watching a variety show.
There’s Always a Higher Mountain had been airing for exactly two years. Even though it was weekly, that still amounted to 104 episodes. Jia Zhi Qing lasted until the third episode before his eyelids began fighting each other.
By the fourth episode, he had basically entered a meditative trance.
During the fifth episode, he started snoring.
At the end of the fifth episode, the internet café owner came over and woke him up.
The sixth episode began, and he fell asleep again.
When the sixth episode ended, the owner came back again.
And so… beginning with episode five, the owner and Jia Zhi Qing maintained an ongoing exchange consisting entirely of Jia Zhi Qing falling asleep and the owner waking him up.
The drama of their story and the intimacy of their relationship surpassed even Sleeping Beauty.
In the end, the owner decided to give up his pursuit of the sleeping beauty and solemnly issued an eviction order. “Sir, I can’t serve you anymore. Go find some other unlucky bastard at the next place.”
Jia Zhi Qing wiped the drool from his mouth and stood up. “Do I still have to pay for the internet?”
The owner’s eyes bulged. “I’ve been providing you with a personal wake-up service and haven’t even charged you a tip, and you still have the nerve to ask whether you need to pay for the internet?”
Jia Zhi Qing looked at the waves of fat rolling across the man’s stomach and gave a dry laugh. “I was only asking.”
The owner looked even more disdainful. “I run an internet café, not a consulting firm. What did you come to an internet café to ask consultations for?”
Xiao Bai calmly stood up. “Sorry for causing you trouble. I’ll take him away.”
The owner’s tone softened slightly. “Try not to bring him out casually in the future.”
After they left the internet café, Jia Zhi Qing said aggrievedly, “I feel like that owner was looking down on me just now.”
Xiao Bai said, “Mm. I thought so too.”
“……” Couldn’t you at least preserve a little of my dignity?
Jia Zhi Qing viciously swore, “I’m never coming back here again.”
Xiao Bai said, “I don’t think the owner would let you back in anyway.”
“……”
Jia Zhi Qing gave a dry cough. “Right. How far did you get?”
“I reached episode seven before we were thrown out.”
“……”
Jia Zhi Qing scratched his scalp. “Uh… should we find another place?”
Xiao Bai asked, “Can you guarantee you won’t fall asleep?”
“……” Jia Zhi Qing thought carefully. “Why don’t we sit separately? Even if they throw me out, at least you’ll still be inside.”
“No need.”
Jia Zhi Qing was overwhelmed by the honor. “Why not? Ah, could it be that you only feel safe when I’m beside you?” Great God, I humbly accept your defeat. He might not have any improper thoughts toward Xiao Bai, but whether Xiao Bai felt the same way about him was difficult to say. Such were the troubles caused by excessive charm.
For a moment, Jia Zhi Qing could not decide whether he should be delighted or distressed.
He really ought to explain things clearly to Xiao Bai. After all, Le Qing was already in his heart. But if he explained too clearly, he was afraid of hurting Xiao Bai’s pride. They had been friends for so many years. Friendship on one side, love on the other—how was he supposed to choose?
He struggled painfully with the dilemma.
Xiao Bai clearly had no idea how many ridiculous thoughts had just spun through his head. He answered the question seriously. “Because I already understand the show.”
“……”
“Oh. So that’s it.” Every expression vanished from Jia Zhi Qing’s face. “Then let’s go home.”
The next day, Teacher Gao Qin inspected their homework, and Jia Zhi Qing was the first student called on.
Jia Zhi Qing cleared his throat. “It’s an entertainment program with lots of people participating.”
Gao Qin asked, “How many?”
“More than one and fewer than a hundred.”
Gao Qin lightly tapped his fingers against the tabletop. “How would you like your salary to be more than one yuan and fewer than a hundred?”
“……” Jia Zhi Qing shot Xiao Bai a look.
Xiao Bai answered, “There are three hosts in total. The celebrity guests are divided into two teams, with around five to seven people per team.”
Gao Qin raised an eyebrow at Jia Zhi Qing.
Jia Zhi Qing said, “I follow the Edison school of learning.”
“Edison wasn’t as fond of sleeping as you are.”
Jia Zhi Qing glared at Xiao Bai.
Xiao Bai shook his head. “I didn’t tell him you fell asleep at the internet café.”
Jia Zhi Qing looked utterly unconvinced.
Xiao Bai continued, “I only told him the internet café owner threw you out because you were snoring.”
“……”
“Put simply, There’s Always a Higher Mountain is a game show where celebrities play games. The participating celebrities are split into two teams, each led by a member of Gossip Kid. Zhong Yao is the main host, but he’ll be going abroad for an interview in a couple of days and is expected to be absent for one or two months.” Gao Qin paused before continuing, “That’s the official explanation. In reality, There’s Always a Higher Mountain has been losing viewers over the last few months, so they want to make some adjustments.”
Jia Zhi Qing supplied his own interpretation. “So Zhong Yao got screwed over by the unspoken rules.”
Gao Qin glanced at him and continued, “If Xiao Bai can bring the ratings back up, the program will become his.”
Jia Zhi Qing sighed softly. “So he’s basically an emergency rescue team.”
Gao Qin said, “But even if he can’t, it doesn’t matter. The station will arrange another program for him.”
Jia Zhi Qing shook his head. “Then he can just muddle through. It’s a secondhand hand-me-down anyway. No need to take it too seriously.”
“……” Gao Qin rubbed his eyebrow. “Xiao Bai, go outside for a moment.”
Jia Zhi Qing immediately moved to follow.
“You stay.”
Jia Zhi Qing pretended not to hear.
“This month’s salary…”
Jia Zhi Qing spun around and slammed one palm onto the desk. “Stop using my salary to threaten me all the time!”
Gao Qin said, “The fact that I bother threatening you means you still possess some residual value.”
Jia Zhi Qing exploded. “I’m residual value?”
“You’re not residual value. You merely possess a tiny bit of residual value. Fundamentally speaking, you yourself don’t have much value at all.”
“Gao Qin…”
“You can tell from the names alone.” Gao Qin said leisurely, “I’m Gao Qin—high salary, high position, diligent and hardworking. As for you, you barely manage to sound clear-headed, and even that Jia is fake.”
Elio’s Notes: Gao Qin is joking with their names. 高 (gāo) means “high,” while 勤 (qín) means “diligent.” 贾 (Jiǎ) sounds exactly like 假 (jiǎ), “fake,” while 志清 (Zhì Qīng) lets Gao twist Jia Zhi Qing’s name into a joke about 神志清醒, being clear-headed or conscious.
“You’ll die if you go five minutes without insulting someone?”
“A lot of people have asked me that.” Gao Qin said, “The answer is no.”
“Then why can’t you insult people a little less?”
Gao Qin looked at him and finally said something straight from the heart.
“Because then I wouldn’t be happy.”
“……I %#¥@¥*&#!”
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