August 9, 2025. An ordinary weekend.
Jiang Ji experienced sleep paralysis during his afternoon nap and struggled without being able to wake up.
Lately, influenced by Lu Xingyan’s memoir software A Heart, Jiang Ji often dreamed about the past.
That morning, while browsing through the software at random, he had come across an entry:
“At sixteen, one rainy night, I asked Jiang Ji to come outside and watch the rain with me. He refused.”
Lu Xingyan’s account was sparse, without any explanation of what had happened before or after. Jiang Ji thought about it for a long while but could not remember the incident at all. When he asked Lu Xingyan, Lu Xingyan said, “It’s exactly what it says. I asked you to come watch the rain with me, and you said, ‘What’s there to see? I’m not going.’”
Jiang Ji: “…”
What could he even say? Lu Xingyan had included something this trivial in his memoir. No wonder the software contained tens of thousands of words. It was practically long enough to publish as a book.
Jiang Ji had not thought much of it. Unexpectedly, during his afternoon nap, he suddenly dreamed about that very incident.
The long-forgotten event reconstructed itself strangely inside the dream. From an omniscient viewpoint, Jiang Ji saw his nineteen-year-old self studying in his room when the door suddenly opened and Lu Xingyan appeared, wearing a transparent raincoat. Water dripped from his sleeves and hem, wetting the floor.
“Jiang Ji, hurry up and come outside.” Lu Xingyan rudely beckoned to him. “It’s raining really hard. Come watch it with me.”
Jiang Ji replied irritably, “Have you never seen rain before?”
“Hah.” Lu Xingyan scoffed. “What kind of rain haven’t I seen? I’ve even seen floods. I was worried you hadn’t seen one. Some people really do mistake kindness for ill intentions…”
Jiang Ji could not be bothered with someone acting inexplicably insane and refused decisively. “I’m not going. If you want to watch it, go by yourself.”
Lu Xingyan slammed the door and left.
Jiang Ji read for a while longer before putting down his pen. Outside, the rain grew heavier instead of easing. Thunder rumbled across the horizon, and lightning flashed without pause, illuminating the pitch-black night.
Was Lu Xingyan still outside?
Back then, Jiang Ji had assumed he probably was not. Watching the rain was only a passing novelty; there was no way Lu Xingyan would keep standing outside getting drenched. So Jiang Ji had paid it no further attention, and that had been the end of the matter.
But dreams had no use for logic. They invented a scene Jiang Ji had never witnessed: Lu Xingyan walking alone through the rain, his transparent raincoat gleaming damply beneath the streetlights, taking on different colors beneath the lights along the road.
Lu Xingyan walked with his head lowered, utterly dejected. He was not even grown yet, and already he was being tormented by love.
So why had he wanted to watch the rain?
If someone had asked Lu Xingyan back then, he probably would not have been able to answer.
But Jiang Ji understood now, many years later.
There was no logic to it. It was simply love’s instinct saying: I suddenly realized the rain at night is beautiful, and I want to see it with you.
Like wanting to give someone a flower you loved, or share delicious food with them. To love someone was to share your world with them.
Jiang Ji was rarely sentimental, and perhaps because of that, the dream became extraordinarily romantic. The rain cleared, followed by a rainbow, a garden, drifting white clouds—until at last he woke.
—Only his consciousness had awakened. His body remained asleep.
Jiang Ji vaguely felt something heavy pressing down on him. The sensation of sleep paralysis was extraordinarily vivid. This “ghost” was not only pinning him down but touching him everywhere, its burning-hot skin pressed tightly against his chest, holding his waist, parting his legs…
Wait. Since when was a “ghost” hot?
Jiang Ji abruptly opened his eyes, but before he could see clearly, his vision went dark as a hand covered his eyes and half his face.
“You’re awake?” a familiar voice said regretfully. “A little later and I would’ve gotten much further.”
Jiang Ji: “…”
Ever since the two of them had started sleeping together, Lu Xingyan had come up with endless new tricks and developed an enormous appetite for them.
Their “newlywed room” at home had only recently been renovated and was not yet suitable to live in, so they were still staying in the rented apartment. In other words, they were effectively still on their honeymoon.
The bedroom, bathroom, living room, kitchen—even Lu Xingyan’s gaming chair… they had already tried practically every corner of the apartment.
Apart from their first night together, when they had still been somewhat inexperienced, they had become increasingly familiar with each other afterward.
Lu Xingyan might frequently do stupid things, but his ability to learn could not be underestimated. Jiang Ji often found him difficult to handle, especially because Lu Xingyan was exceptionally good at acting obedient. The moment Jiang Ji hesitated, he would start coaxing him, promising, “Just once, Bro. I promise it won’t affect work tomorrow…”
Then they would keep going until the middle of the night, and Jiang Ji would eventually fall asleep from exhaustion.
Jiang Ji had gotten angry about it before. But when it came down to it, intimacy was something they both wanted. Jiang Ji was merely putting on an act and shifting responsibility for his own lack of self-control onto Lu Xingyan, pretending to have no interest and blaming his younger brother entirely whenever he was late for work.
Lu Xingyan could never tell how much of that was genuine. Every time, he apologized sincerely, but apologies cost him nothing, and he never actually changed.
Today he had apparently come up with another new idea. Jiang Ji had barely awakened when he realized Lu Xingyan had already been at it for who knew how long. Yet Jiang Ji felt no discomfort at all. Still half asleep, he only felt as though his entire world were swaying, while the images from his dream lingered in his mind: rain still sounding in his ears, a rainbow still hanging before his eyes.
“Lu Xingyan…”
Jiang Ji breathed out his younger brother’s name. It was a meaningless call, almost a moan. He pushed away the hand covering his face and narrowed his eyes slightly, realizing he had slept so long that evening was already approaching.
Lu Xingyan shifted his position again.
They each had their own preferences when it came to intimacy. Jiang Ji preferred being on top, while Lu Xingyan liked any position that allowed him to hold Jiang Ji tightly—and preferably face-to-face. He wanted to watch his brother constantly and miss none of his expressions, whether of pleasure or discomfort.
Occasionally, though, they would do it from behind.
Once, Jiang Ji had been pressed against the bathroom wall while water from the shower poured over them like rain. Unable to turn around, he could not see Lu Xingyan’s expression, but he could feel Lu Xingyan’s mood change from embarrassment to excitement, and that encounter had lasted especially long.
Different ways of doing it brought different sensations. Jiang Ji did not particularly like that feeling, as though he had been completely controlled and their usual positions had been reversed. But when doing the most intimate thing possible with the person closest to him, there was no need to dwell on complicated emotions beyond pleasure. It was unnecessary and meaningless.
More than an hour passed, and the sky outside grew steadily darker.
The bedroom lights were off. Lu Xingyan’s approaching body cast a heavy shadow as he buried his head against Jiang Ji’s neck and kissed him hard, spouting nonsense between breaths. “Bro, it really is true that your body temperature is higher right after waking up… You’re so warm.”
Jiang Ji had not even answered before Lu Xingyan cut him off again.
“And you’re all sweaty.” Lu Xingyan kissed his face. “Look what you’ve done to me.”
“…”
Jiang Ji could not see much in the darkness, but Lu Xingyan’s description was enough to give him a vivid picture, and his breathing tightened.
Lu Xingyan still would not stop talking. Jiang Ji finally looped an arm around his neck and warned him, “Enough nonsense. Hurry up and finish.”
“Why are you in such a rush? It’s the weekend.”
“Didn’t you see the weather? It’s going to rain tonight. I want to go out.”
Lu Xingyan did not understand the deeper meaning behind that. Reluctantly, he said, “Is going out more important than me? We haven’t done anything in three days.”
“Didn’t we just do it last night?”
“Once doesn’t count.”
“…”
Jiang Ji laughed. When it came to twisted logic, who could possibly beat someone surnamed Lu?
Jiang Ji pushed him back a little and took the upper position.
—Whenever they did it this way, Lu Xingyan’s self-control tended to fall apart.
Even so, they still spent more than another hour fooling around. By the time they were finally done, Jiang Ji was exhausted and had little energy left. He was also starving, so after showering together, they changed clothes and went out, planning to find somewhere to eat first and wait for the rain afterward.
Since officially getting together, their lives had gained many moments like this: going out for walks, eating together, wandering around shops.
But they had never watched the rain together.
Was rain really beautiful?
Rain at night truly was.
The sky seemed to have sprung a leak, strings and beads of water falling into the mortal world. Damp mist filled the air, and the orange streetlights looked as though they had been soaked through by it, becoming hazy little suns glowing in the night. It was breathtakingly beautiful.
Jiang Ji and Lu Xingyan had not brought an umbrella. They treated getting drenched together as a romantic after-dinner date and wandered aimlessly along the street.
“That time when you were sixteen,” Jiang Ji asked, “after I refused you, did you go watch the rain alone?”
“No,” Lu Xingyan said. “What would’ve been the point by myself? I went back to my room and made a little curse effigy of you instead.”
“…”
Jiang Ji laughed. “You really were awful.”
The curse effigy was obviously a joke. That night, after returning to his room, Lu Xingyan had actually stood by the window and watched the rain through the glass for half the night.
Back then, he had not yet understood that the disappointment he felt was heartbreak. But somewhere deep down, he already knew that the night rain was not the only thing he wanted to see with Jiang Ji.
What else had he wanted to see?
Everything they had today was the answer.
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