Family troubles were distracting, but work still had to go on as usual. After Jiang Ji handed the apartment hunting and moving over to Lu Xingyan, he did not ask about it again all day.
It was in the afternoon that Jiang Wanyi finally replied.
A meeting had just ended and it was nearly time to get off work. Jiang Ji told Jeanne to leave on time and that there was no need to order dinner for him, then returned to his office, planning to work a little longer, when WeChat chimed.
Jiang Wanyi said, “The housekeeper just told me Xiao Yan went home to move his equipment. Did you two find a place outside?”
Jiang Ji did not hide it. “Mm. We’ll stay there for a few days for now. He can’t stop streaming or it’ll affect his work. Didn’t Lu Xingyan tell you beforehand?”
Jiang Wanyi said, “Maybe he told his dad. I’m not at the company today, so I didn’t ask.”
She meant Lu Yong’s company.
Jiang Ji asked what she was busy with, but Jiang Wanyi did not reply.
Although it was difficult to read emotion from plain text, Jiang Ji could still sense his mother’s heavy mood.
Mother and son were closely connected. That suffocating weight seemed to travel through the internet and settle over Jiang Ji’s heart. He stared at his phone, typed and deleted, and after a long silence still could not send another sentence.
Maybe I should send a sticker to lighten the mood. The moment the thought occurred to him, Jiang Ji knew Lu Xingyan had infected him.
He picked an obedient-looking puppy from his saved stickers and sent it to Jiang Wanyi. She replied with a surprised expression.
Jiang Ji brought it up again. “Mom, when will you meet me?”
Judging from how slowly she replied, Jiang Wanyi was still struggling with it, but at least she did not refuse. “Sunday. Don’t let it interfere with your work.”
Jiang Ji let out a breath. “Okay. Get some rest these next few days.”
Once the time was settled, Jiang Ji relaxed a little. He was not worried about Jiang Wanyi making things difficult for him; he was more worried that she would think herself sick over it.
Outsiders might not believe it, but Jiang Ji and Jiang Wanyi had never had a real argument in more than twenty years.
Jiang Wanyi was good-tempered, and Jiang Ji had never been willful. He had practically never gone through a rebellious phase. Even when something his mother did upset him, he would not yell or make a scene. At most, he shut himself in his room and worked through it alone, and by the next morning it would be over.
If one had to say it, Lu Xingyan had contributed quite a bit to this too—specifically by serving as the negative example who constantly picked fights with his father for no reason, reminding Jiang Ji never to become like him.
At that thought, countless images of Lu Xingyan causing trouble as a child flashed through Jiang Ji’s mind. He laughed without realizing it, his gloomy mood disappearing, and finally felt like working again.
It was June 26—the second day after Jiang Ji and Lu Xingyan came out, and their first day living together.
Although Lu Xingyan had no experience living independently, renting the apartment went smoothly and he had set up their new home quite decently. Along with his streaming equipment, he had brought Jiang Ji’s pillow, saying he was afraid his brother would sleep badly on a new one.
Other than that, he had brought all the clothes, shoes, and toiletries they needed and bought additional everyday necessities: an electric kettle, scissors, tape, trash cans, an ashtray…
Lu Xingyan had been on his feet all day. When Jiang Ji got home, he had only just finished and had not even had time to eat because it was already time to stream, and he did not like eating on camera.
Lu Xingyan himself was not eating, but he had prepared a generous dinner for Jiang Ji—four dishes and a soup, all covered up in the kitchen. When Jiang Ji checked, they were still steaming hot.
Wearing his headset, Lu Xingyan looked back and called from across the room, “You eat first! We’ll talk later!”
“…”
Jiang Ji swallowed the words telling him to eat and ordered him a milk tea instead.
It was the kind loaded with so many toppings that it looked almost like congee. Lu Xingyan liked sweets but rarely touched them because he watched his figure.
Jiang Ji collected the delivery, brought it over to the computer, and inserted the straw for him. While he was there, he glanced at the screen and caught a comment floating past: “Who’s next to you? The streamer’s wife?” Jiang Ji had not appeared on camera; only the hand holding the milk tea had flashed past, making it impossible to tell whether it belonged to a man or a woman.
Lu Xingyan looked immensely pleased with himself. “Yep. My wife.”
He was not even trying to hide it. Jiang Ji shook his head helplessly and finally had time to look around their newly rented apartment.
It had two bedrooms and a living room, and the living room was enormous, taking up nearly half the apartment’s total area.
Lu Xingyan’s computer desk occupied one corner. The kitchen was open-plan and fully equipped, though considering neither of them was particularly good at cooking, it probably would not see much use.
The master bedroom was large too. Lu Xingyan was particularly pleased with the enormous double bed. He had replaced all the bedding except for the pillow he had brought from home. The moment Jiang Ji approached, he spotted a black plastic bag on the bedside table. He opened it and, as expected, found condoms and lubricant inside.
Lu Xingyan had deliberately left the bag out where Jiang Ji could not possibly miss it. His intentions could not have been more obvious.
Now that they understood each other’s feelings and had even reached the point of coming out, taking the final step was only natural. There was no particular reason to hesitate.
But a long-dormant mischievous streak surfaced in Jiang Ji. He suddenly wanted to see a certain someone get anxious, so he deliberately “helped” put everything into the drawer. When Lu Xingyan finished streaming that night, Jiang Ji said nothing about it.
If Jiang Ji did not bring it up, Lu Xingyan was too embarrassed to do so himself.
Things are already hard enough for us. My brother defied our parents for me—so pure, so romantic. If all I can think about right now is getting into bed with him, wouldn’t that make me look terribly vulgar and ruin the mood?
But not mentioning it left him restless, especially after a long, exhausting day when they finally climbed into bed together. Once the lights were off and neither of them could sleep, did it really make sense not to do anything?
Lu Xingyan endured the first night. The second night he was even more restless and, using a goodnight kiss as an excuse, pinned Jiang Ji down and kissed him until he had his fill.
By the third night, Saturday, they were talking after turning off the lights. Jiang Ji mentioned meeting Jiang Wanyi the next day, and Lu Xingyan said, “I’m meeting my dad tomorrow too. Do you think they coordinated this?”
“Probably.”
“What do you think they discussed?” Lu Xingyan sounded worried. “They aren’t planning some way to deal with us, are they? Like in an idol drama—knock the couple unconscious, stuff them into sacks, take them away separately, and then find some way to give them amnesia so they won’t even recognize each other the next time they meet.”
Jiang Ji: “…”
“Is that an idol drama? It sounds like a horror movie.” Jiang Ji rolled onto his side to look at him. “Our parents aren’t villains. Can’t you think positively for once?”
“I’d like to, but my dad hasn’t shown me a pleasant face once. He even blocked me on WeChat. He only agreed to meet because I called and begged him.”
Lu Xingyan abruptly changed direction. “But I’m confident. As long as he comes, I’ll have a way to soften him up.”
Jiang Ji was curious. “What way?”
“Worst case, I cry a few times and bring up my mom.” Lu Xingyan was entirely shameless about it. “You don’t know this, but whenever I did something wrong as a kid and my dad got angry, I’d crouch in the corner crying, ‘Mom, take me away,’ ‘Nobody loves a kid without a mom.’ He’d calm down immediately and start comforting me instead.”
Jiang Ji: “…”
And he had the nerve to admit it.
“Hey, I’m joking.” Lu Xingyan sighed. “I haven’t used that trick in years. Now that I’m supposed to be a mature man, I definitely can’t use it anymore.”
“You’d better know that.”
“We’re just chatting.” As he spoke, Lu Xingyan suddenly moved closer and wrapped his arms around Jiang Ji, laying the groundwork for his real purpose in a roundabout way. “Bro, tomorrow’s going to be a tough battle. I’m a little nervous.”
“So?”
“Let’s encourage each other.”
“…”
Jiang Ji could tell exactly what he was plotting and pretended not to understand. “How?”
“Kiss me.” Lu Xingyan said, “A little peck lowers my nervousness by ten points. If you hug me and give me a long, deep kiss, that’s probably twenty. If you’re willing to wipe the whole meter clean in one go, then we can…”
He left the rest unsaid and hinted with his eyes.
Darkness concealed the charged tension between them and, invisibly, made it grow stronger. Jiang Ji’s slightly parted lips suddenly pressed together, as though in refusal and yet almost like an invitation. Lu Xingyan’s gaze was immediately drawn to them, and he pressed impatiently, “Okay?”
Before Jiang Ji could even get the word “okay” out, the kiss had already begun.
A desire-charged kiss was more than simple contact. Lu Xingyan spread Jiang Ji’s legs apart, kissing him above while teasing him below.
Jiang Ji had not expected them to get into the rhythm so quickly. Maybe Lu Xingyan had been kept waiting too long these past few days. His movements were fast, urgent, and forceful, every action as though he wanted to crush Jiang Ji’s bones. In barely a dozen seconds, Jiang Ji had been kissed nearly breathless and, unusually, could not recover his breathing.
“Bro, can I?” Lu Xingyan yanked open the nightstand drawer and pulled out the plastic bag.
He was already highly aroused. He tore open a condom and rolled it on; the thing trembled with eagerness before it had even entered, pressing insistently against Jiang Ji’s thigh as if demanding to be noticed.
They had never discussed who would take which role, but Lu Xingyan simply assumed he would be on top. And since Jiang Ji had said he wanted him, of course Lu Xingyan would cooperate—offering himself up completely so his brother could take every bit of him.
—That was what “having him” truly meant.
“Bro, open up a little more…”
Lu Xingyan poured out the lubricant and worked some inside with earnest, if unpracticed, care.
His hands were unsteady as he held Jiang Ji’s thigh. He hadn’t actually received a clear signal of permission, yet the look Jiang Ji gave him was silent and charged, but it wasn’t a refusal either.
By this point, desire was no longer the dominant force. Love had sunk so deep that the ache of it was difficult to describe. An electric current seemed to race through Lu Xingyan, leaving him tingling as if he might die from it—body and mind both.
Given Jiang Ji’s personality, he should have taken control by now, but he did not move. He was not particularly driven by desire, yet he could still sense the special role desire played in a relationship—at this moment, his body was telling him plainly that he truly loved and wanted the person before him.
When exactly had it begun?
If he traced it all the way back, searching for the moment love first took root, Jiang Ji suspected it had begun the very first time he could not bear to refuse Lu Xingyan.
Jiang Ji had once believed that love was a private emotion. No matter how deeply someone loved him, it had nothing to do with him personally. The joy and pain born from that love belonged to the other person; he could not feel even the slightest bit of it himself.
That changed when Lu Xingyan’s emotions found their way into his heart and Lu Xingyan’s tears began to hurt him too.
He began to want to give, and also to take; to be possessed, and also to possess—
“Bro…”
“Mm. Stop talking.” Jiang Ji cut off his younger brother’s annoying chatter and closed his eyes.
In the darkness, Lu Xingyan let out a heavy breath. His solid body came down over Jiang Ji’s, and amid lingering kisses, they finally crossed the last physical boundary between them for the first time.
Leave a Reply