Jiang Ji did not always win every round when trading blows with Lu Xingyan.
For example, right now, this “abandoned concubine from the Cold Palace” had shocked him so badly that he almost suffered internal injuries.
Lu Xingyan was still absorbed in his performance. He looked up without warning and found Jiang Ji already walking away. He hurried after him. “Bro, bro, bro, bro… Did I say something wrong?”
That endless string of “bro, bro, bro” was unbearably noisy. This abandoned concubine had apparently been possessed by some rooster spirit.
Elio’s Notes: In Chinese, Lu Xingyan repeatedly calls him gē, meaning “older brother.” Said rapidly as gē-gē-gē, it sounds comically like clucking, which sets up the “rooster spirit” joke and the McCrispy Chicken gag that follows.
Jiang Ji genuinely could not take it anymore. He wanted to send him to McDonald’s, fry him into McCrispy Chicken, and eat him.
Jiang Ji was hungry. He went downstairs and walked into the kitchen.
McCrispy Chicken—no, Lu Xingyan—followed him into the kitchen and enthusiastically volunteered. “Bro, I’ll cook for you!”
As though Jiang Ji did not already know the level of his cooking.
If Jiang Ji, who could make tomato-and-egg stir-fry and sliced cucumber with pork, deserved six points for cooking, then Lu Xingyan, who could only make sandwiches and frequently burned the eggs, could get two at most.
Out of a hundred.
Jiang Ji said, “Forget it. Let’s order delivery.”
He returned to the living room and sat on the sofa. The sectional was broad enough to be a bed, yet Lu Xingyan insisted on squeezing in right beside him. He did not even take out his own phone and simply stared at Jiang Ji’s delivery app. “What are you ordering?”
“McDonald’s.” Jiang Ji added one order of McCrispy Chicken to the cart.
“I want that too,” Lu Xingyan said. “I’ll eat whatever you eat.”
Jiang Ji said expressionlessly, “I want to eat a rooster spirit.”
Lu Xingyan had not heard clearly. “What? McDonald’s has a new item?”
Jiang Ji said, “…”
Bad company rubbed off. Jiang Ji suspected Lu Xingyan had infected him. Why else would his head suddenly be filled with idiotic jokes?
Jiang Ji gave up on delivery and went back to the kitchen.
He and Lu Xingyan were rarely home alone together. Cooking together was even more unprecedented.
Jiang Ji picked ingredients out of the refrigerator: cucumbers, eggs, chicken, curry powder, a few potatoes…
“Peel these.” He handed the potatoes to Lu Xingyan.
“Okay.” Lu Xingyan obediently accepted them.
But the obedience was fake.
Standing at the counter, Lu Xingyan first gave the potato a bath under the faucet, then picked up a peeler and began torturing it. One stroke, two strokes, three strokes… A perfectly round potato was slowly carved down as if being executed by a thousand cuts until nothing remained but a narrow strip. It had died a profoundly unjust death.
Jiang Ji’s eyelid twitched. “Stop playing stupid.”
“…Fine.”
His attempt at acting cute having failed without earning any hands-on instruction from his brother, Lu Xingyan regretfully picked up the second potato and peeled it properly.
As he worked, his attention began to wander.
He stared at Jiang Ji’s hands.
They were very beautiful hands, with long, slender finger bones. They moved gently through the cold water, as though he were not washing vegetables at all but performing some elegant kind of seduction, making Lu Xingyan wish he could replace the cucumber and be gripped in those palms.
Lu Xingyan’s face heated. He had no idea what he was imagining. Without thinking, he moved closer. “Bro…”
Jiang Ji was speechless. “What now?”
“Are you going to agree or not?” Lu Xingyan dropped the peeler and caught Jiang Ji’s sleeves with both hands. The instant he moved close, he smelled a complicated mix of perfumes.
Jiang Ji had spent the entire day outside and had picked up more than one fragrance.
After excluding the perfume Jiang Wanyi usually wore, several unfamiliar scents remained. Lu Xingyan’s doglike nose was exceptionally sharp. He pressed close to his brother’s neck and sniffed for a long time as if patrolling his territory, then asked unhappily, “Who did you meet? Why do you smell so strong?”
It had to be some woman. For her scent to have rubbed off this heavily, had she been sitting directly in Jiang Ji’s lap?
Lu Xingyan’s face darkened like the bottom of a pot. “Answer me.”
Jiang Ji replied coldly, “My mother was buying perfume. I tested a few for her.”
Lu Xingyan said, “…”
“Stop acting insane.” Jiang Ji warned him. “Even if I had met someone, do I need to report it to you?”
Lu Xingyan choked. “Do whatever you want.”
Who cares?
But an actor who respected his role could not behave that way. He remained glued to Jiang Ji like sticky candy and returned to the main subject. “Bro, give me one more chance…”
Jiang Ji turned off the faucet and glanced at him.
A person’s aura was difficult to describe in concrete terms. Every time Jiang Ji looked at him like that, Lu Xingyan’s heart involuntarily trembled, as though some overwhelmingly authoritative presence had fixed its gaze on him.
It was merely an ordinary look. Jiang Ji was not deliberately exerting pressure. Lu Xingyan was imagining it. Yet he still felt suppressed by it, as though his brother was not merely his brother but also a superior officer who had the right to discipline him.
He hated that feeling. It made him instinctively treat Jiang Ji as an imaginary enemy and remain constantly on guard, yet at the same time he thought Jiang Ji was impossibly cool. Because he could not become that kind of person himself, he yearned for it.
What was that supposed to be? My ideal type?
If “ideal type” meant the ideal version of myself, maybe.
Lu Xingyan drifted into confusion. He saw Jiang Ji’s lips move as though he had said something, but he was too immersed in his inexplicable emotions to hear.
“Bro, say that again?”
Jiang Ji said mercilessly, “I said you’re asking for a beating.”
Lu Xingyan showed no shame. “If you really want to hit me, I won’t refuse.”
Shamelessly acting cute, he offered up his head. Jiang Ji pinched his nose with damp fingers and pushed him several inches away. “Cook properly or get lost. Keep causing trouble and I really will hit you.”
Lu Xingyan said, “…”
Two extremely simple dishes took them nearly an hour.
After peeling the potatoes, Lu Xingyan put his mediocre cooking skills on display by throwing cucumber slices and eggs into a pan and frying them until they were barely edible. Jiang Ji made the other dish, curry chicken with potatoes, which looked slightly better. Only slightly.
Lu Xingyan did not think the dinner looked ugly. On a whim, he dug out two scented candles, placed them in the middle of the table, and personally lit them.
Jiang Ji glanced at him. “What is this, a candlelit dinner?”
“Exactly. Bro, isn’t it romantic?”
“…”
Jiang Ji was impressed.
There was one strange phenomenon, though. No matter how ordinary someone’s cooking skills were, food they had worked hard to make themselves always seemed especially delicious. Both of them ate quite happily.
Jiang Ji was someone who could not be left idle. Whenever he was relaxed and in a good mood, his moral standards plummeted in a straight line, like a cat looking around for a toy. He had finally gotten a vacation. Surely he deserved some entertainment.
Jiang Ji restrained himself and glanced at his little brother, then stayed silent.
Lu Xingyan interpreted the look as a signal that he should handle the aftermath. He voluntarily cleared the dishes and put them in the dishwasher. Then he washed some fruit, cut it up, and diligently carried it over to his brother.
“Bro, you still haven’t answered me.” Lu Xingyan stared at him eagerly. “If you drag this out much longer, Mom and Dad will be home.”
“What difference does it make whether they’re home?”
“If they’re here, it won’t be convenient for us to sneak around.”
Jiang Ji said, “…”
All right. Technically, it was sneaking around. Jiang Ji had no idea what mentality allowed Lu Xingyan to say that phrase so easily, but he was subtly tempted by it. Once a person’s bottom line had been broken through once, it only kept breaking. There was no saving it afterward.
Jiang Ji ate a piece of fruit and went upstairs.
The moment he left, Lu Xingyan followed, muttering behind him like a broken record. “Are you agreeing or not, agreeing or not, agreeing or not…”
“I’m taking a shower first.” Jiang Ji interrupted the broken record. “You go shower too.”
“…”
Lu Xingyan jolted.
What did that mean? Did people need to shower before kissing? Was he planning to skip straight to the next step?
That possibility panicked the straight man Lu Xingyan. Even if he had to sacrifice himself for the plan, he had not yet planned to sacrifice himself that far.
…Fine. He had thought about it.
They showered in their separate bathrooms. As hot water poured over Lu Xingyan and heated his head, he had no idea at what point his brain seemed to connect directly to the room next door. It became completely filled with images of Jiang Ji showering.
He had never actually seen Jiang Ji shower. This was entirely fantasy.
Jiang Ji had a good body. Lu Xingyan knew that much. He had seen Jiang Ji shirtless and had also seen his straight legs when he wore shorts.
Body proportions were innate. So was skin quality. Jiang Ji was the sort of person who had no weak points from the inside out, top to bottom, all three hundred and sixty degrees. Put him in front of a camera and he could debut as a movie star on the spot.
Some of Lu Xingyan’s classmates on WeChat were celebrity fans and frequently posted about their “big brothers,” constantly gushing over phrases like “Nüwa’s graduation project” and “a god of beauty descended to earth.” Lu Xingyan always wanted to laugh when he saw them.
Elio’s Notes: “Nüwa’s graduation project” is Chinese internet slang for an exceptionally beautiful person. Nüwa is the mythic creator of humankind, while “graduation project” jokingly implies that the person looks like her finest, most painstakingly perfected human creation.
Those men were far too ordinary, and they were even wearing makeup. How did they deserve praise like that? Barefaced Jiang Ji looked far more like Nüwa’s graduation project or a god of beauty descended to earth.
But Lu Xingyan could not blame those girls. Not everyone had a brother like his. A limited worldview could not be helped.
Lu Xingyan was absolutely not complimenting Jiang Ji.
This was purely an objective comparison. He was a man who respected facts.
And right now, Nüwa’s graduation project was showering next door. Lu Xingyan decided the water temperature had to be too high today. Otherwise, why was his head getting so dizzy from the steam? He felt almost cooked.
After finishing his shower with great difficulty, Lu Xingyan chose between properly putting on clothes and wrapping himself in a single bath towel to show off his body. He chose the latter. Then he slowly shuffled over to Jiang Ji’s door and knocked.
“Come in.” Jiang Ji’s voice sounded normal, just slightly lazy.
Lu Xingyan stepped inside and instinctively reached back to shut the door tightly behind him. He had excellent awareness for someone conducting a secret affair.
Jiang Ji was standing beside the bed drying his hair. When he turned and saw him, he looked faintly surprised. “Why are you dressed like that?”
Assuming a single bath towel could be called “dressed.”
Lu Xingyan looked completely innocent. “Weren’t you the one who said… to shower…”
Jiang Ji paused. “I meant that we reek of cooking fumes after making dinner. I don’t like the smell.”
Lu Xingyan said, “…”
Then why didn’t you say that clearly?
Lu Xingyan was caught between entering and retreating and felt profoundly awkward.
Jiang Ji put down the towel and crooked a finger at him. “Come here.”
…Like he’s calling a dog. What kind of person does that? Lu Xingyan cursed silently before walking over with a sour face. “What exactly do you mean? Are you agreeing or not? Do you have to keep me hanging?”
Besides, how did Jiang Ji have the nerve to criticize anyone else? He was only wearing a bathrobe himself. He had not even tied it properly, leaving everything from his collarbones down to the middle of his chest exposed. Who was he trying to seduce?
Lu Xingyan stared at his chest. One patch of skin there looked red, as if a mosquito had bitten him.
Under his gaze, Jiang Ji pulled the robe closed and sat at the edge of the bed. His hair was still wet, and a drop of water slid from his temple down his neck before disappearing somewhere Lu Xingyan could not see.
Lu Xingyan’s mouth went dry. He was as nervous as if he were entering an examination hall for the first time.
Jiang Ji finally relented. “I already told you to come over. What do you think I mean?”
How was he supposed to know? Lu Xingyan moved closer awkwardly and went straight to the point. “Then close your eyes. I’m going to kiss you.”
“…” Jiang Ji laughed. “Why do I have to close my eyes?”
Lu Xingyan flushed with embarrassment and anger. “Just close them when I tell you to, okay?”
He could not stand it anymore. He abruptly shoved Jiang Ji backward, covered Jiang Ji’s eyes with the towel he had just used to dry his hair, and pressed him onto the bed in a few swift movements. His right hand had no idea where it was supposed to go, so he pretended to be experienced and clamped it hard around his brother’s jaw.
Jiang Ji’s face tightened in pain, but no sound escaped. Lu Xingyan sealed his lips and fed him a burning-hot kiss.