“Idiot. Bastard. How dare you say that to me.” Mai Ding ran while wiping away his tears with his sleeve. An Zi Yan had never cursed at him that viciously before, had never said anything that cruel. Mai Ding kept running and running until his body could no longer take it, then finally sat down beside the river. His mind and heart were filled entirely with An Zi Yan’s face and words.
How did things become like this? So solving the problem with our families didn’t mean everything would suddenly be all right.
There are still problems between the two of us.
Lu Wei had been following Mai Ding ever since he left the university. Now he stepped in front of him, pulled out a tissue, crouched down, and handed it over. “Are you okay? Why are you crying like this?” He wore an angelic smile.
Mai Ding looked at Lu Wei and accepted the tissue. “How do I keep running into you everywhere?”
“Maybe fate arranged it. What happened?”
“Nothing.”
“You’ll feel better if you talk about whatever’s bothering you.”
The moment Mai Ding thought about it, his nose began stinging again. “Who else could it be? Completely ridiculous. He actually said you liked me, then got angry at me and cursed at me! We’ve only known each other for two days. How could you possibly like me? He’s judging everyone else by his own suspicious mind.” Mai Ding was still speaking out of anger. If An Zi Yan heard this, they would probably have another enormous fight.
Lu Wei deliberately looked dejected. “I suppose this is my fault. I caused the two of you to argue. Maybe I should stop bothering you.” He made as though to leave, but Mai Ding grabbed his hand. “Why should you leave? He already cursed at me like that. He’s allowed to spend all day surrounded by women, but I’m not even allowed to have one friend?”
“But wouldn’t that make things worse?”
“There’s nothing wrong with it. He’s the one who was wrong this time. I’m not giving in.”
An Zi Yan had driven after Mai Ding. He stopped his car not far away and saw Mai Ding with Lu Wei, saw their hands joined together. Without saying anything, he drove away. What could hurt more than seeing the person you loved standing with another man?
Lu Wei continued adding fuel to the fire. “How could he bear to curse at you like that? Didn’t you say he treated you very well?”
“He cursed at me like that. I don’t want to speak to that bastard for the rest of my life.”
“Can you really do that?” Lu Wei asked.
That question made Mai Ding freeze for several seconds. Finally, his shoulders sagged and he shook his head. “Impossible. Forget cursing at me—even if he hit me, I still wouldn’t be able to control my heart or my body from wanting to move closer to him.”
“Is love really supposed to become like this? He already doesn’t trust you. Forget about me—are you supposed to stop making friends altogether from now on? How many more times are you going to fight over something like this? If you don’t even have basic trust, then isn’t your love just empty words?”
People were strange. Whenever someone else criticized An Zi Yan, all Mai Ding could remember were the things that were good about him. “He might call me an idiot and a moron all the time, but sometimes he calls me baby too. I don’t care whether our love is just empty words. I don’t care whether there’s trust or not. All I want is An Zi Yan. Nothing else matters to me.”
Seeing how determined Mai Ding remained did not make Lu Wei retreat. Apparently he had not cut deeply enough yet. He needed another strike. Lu Wei was a hunter who would use any means necessary. Naturally he was not about to allow Mai Ding to destroy his perfect hunting record.
“So where are you going now? If you have nowhere to stay, you can come to my place.”
Mai Ding shook his head. “No, thanks. I want to stay here for a while and be alone.”
Lu Wei stood. “Then I won’t bother you. Try not to be so upset. You should understand what things are worth holding onto and what things aren’t.”
Mai Ding remained silent. Lu Wei calculated that Mai Ding would eventually be unable to resist going back to An Zi Yan. He timed things carefully and walked toward An Zi Yan’s home, arriving just as An Zi Yan and Cao Cheng Yi came back. Lu Wei smiled. “Already found yourself someone new? Looks like I won’t have to work very hard after all.”
An Zi Yan’s expression was icy. “What are you doing here?”
“Your name isn’t written on the road, is it? Am I not allowed to walk here?”
Cao Cheng Yi rushed forward, ready to punch the arrogant Lu Wei, but An Zi Yan stopped him. “I’m warning you. You’d better not touch him.” The coldness in An Zi Yan’s eyes made even Lu Wei draw in a breath, although he quickly forced himself to remain calm.
“Why can’t I touch him? Your name isn’t written on him either.”
“Don’t provoke me, old man. It won’t end well for you.”
“If the ending is going to be ugly anyway, I might as well enjoy myself first. Better to die satisfied, right? You must have trained him pretty well in bed by now.”
An Zi Yan stepped forward and drove his fist straight into Lu Wei’s nose. The blow was so hard that Lu Wei fell to the ground, bright-red blood pouring from his nose. Lu Wei touched the blood with one finger—and actually smiled. He had gotten exactly the reaction he wanted, because not far away, he could already see Mai Ding running toward them.
Mai Ding hurried over and helped the pale-faced Lu Wei up. “Are you okay? Is it serious?”
Lu Wei shook his head. “I’m fine. It wasn’t his fault. I was originally trying to persuade him to apologize to you, but apparently I really shouldn’t appear between the two of you.”
That only made Mai Ding angrier. He shouted at An Zi Yan, “What the hell is wrong with you? Why did you hit him?”
Cao Cheng Yi tried to defend An Zi Yan, but An Zi Yan stopped him. “Let him talk.”
“You hit somebody and you still think you’re right? Cursing at me was one thing, but now you’re beating people up too. You’re not acting like a man at all! I made one friend and you can’t stand it, yet you’re here with another man too. Isn’t that going too far?”
An Zi Yan had been hurt so deeply that the pain finally became numbness. All that remained was sorrow.
Sorrow because you cannot see my wounds. Sorrow because I cannot see your love.
Lu Wei continued pretending to mediate. “Mai Ding, it isn’t worth fighting over me. I’ll feel guilty.”
Cao Cheng Yi cursed at Lu Wei from the side. “You really are one fucking disgusting man.”
“Two against one. Aren’t you impressive? Let’s go.” Mai Ding supported Lu Wei.
An Zi Yan called after him. “Mai Ding.”
Mai Ding stopped with his back toward An Zi Yan.
“If you take one more step, we’re finished.”
Mai Ding’s entire body trembled. No matter how badly we fight, why would you say something like that so easily? You’re obviously the one who’s wrong, yet I’m the one who has to bear this pain. Mai Ding did not want to separate from An Zi Yan at all, but stubbornness won. He continued supporting Lu Wei and walked away. An Zi Yan turned toward the house. Cao Cheng Yi asked, “Why didn’t you tell him?”
An Zi Yan replied blandly, “What difference would it make?”
I gambled with our love. I gambled that you would stay. I gambled that you would turn around. But you walked away without hesitation.
Cao Cheng Yi watched An Zi Yan’s exhausted back. Although there was still no expression on his face, Cao Cheng Yi could clearly feel his pain. They had known each other for years, and this was the first time he had ever seen An Zi Yan like this. Cao Cheng Yi turned and looked toward the direction Mai Ding had gone, then sighed. They had even survived the hurdle with their families. How had things ended up like this?
Mai Ding took Lu Wei to the hospital. Lu Wei’s nasal bone was broken and a doctor was treating it. Mai Ding walked into the hospital bathroom feeling as though every ounce of strength had left his body. His stomach churned violently and he bent over the sink and vomited. It hurt. It hurt so badly he felt as though he were dying. He raised his head and looked at his own deathly pale reflection.
You said you would always love me.
You promised we would always stay together.
You promised we would go to the Maldives together.
“An Zi Yan, you liar. You enormous liar.” Mai Ding slammed his fist into the mirror. His reflection shattered into pieces, and shards of glass cut into his flesh. A raw, stinging pain spread through his hand as blood gradually soaked his sleeve. He muttered brokenly, “Liar. You tricked me out of all my love, and then you said you wanted to leave me. Why won’t you just admit you were wrong? If you apologized, I could give up everyone else. I only want you, An Zi Yan. I only want you.”
Mai Ding refused Lu Wei’s seemingly kind invitation and returned home in a daze. The moment Mai Ding’s mother saw him, she knew he had probably fought with An Zi Yan again. Couples argued now and then, so she felt it was not her place to interfere. Mai Ding went straight to his room and threw himself onto the bed without moving.
My Mai Ding, what has blinded your eyes?
It certainly wasn’t your love.
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