Futile Devices Scans

Elio’s Notes: The title quotes the closing couplet of Li Shangyin’s third Bicheng poem: “Emperor Wu’s Inner Chronicle still plainly survives; say not that the mortal world knows nothing.” It continues the novel’s recurring use of Li Shangyin and Bicheng imagery after the main-story finale.

“Your Highness magnanimously yielded the throne to a worthier man. His Majesty was deeply pleased and praised Your Highness for possessing the noble spirit of the sage rulers of antiquity. In addition to investing the new sovereign, His Majesty has issued a separate decree elevating you as Prince Ninghai. His Majesty hopes Your Highness will take good care of yourself and preserve your health for the sake of the realm.”

Yugong Lie personally accepted the imperial decree of investiture, faced north, and bowed. “The grace of Heaven is boundless. This subject is honored beyond measure and shall certainly remain loyal to His Majesty.” Then he turned and inclined his head slightly toward Wei Fu. “Many thanks, Chancellor Wei.”

His sleeve slipped back, plainly exposing the pale-red patches on his wrist. They looked somewhat alarming. Yugong Lie brushed a hand over them, pulled down his cuff to cover his skin, and said calmly, “This diseased body is unsightly. I fear I’ve given Chancellor Wei something to laugh at.”

In the past, to avoid exposing the slightest flaw, he had been forced to suppress his symptoms with harsh, powerful medicines and had taken almost obsessive care over his appearance. Now that he no longer needed to face the assembled court, he had instead relaxed his guard. He had even stopped using face powder altogether, merely darkening the brows that had grown sparse and pale from hair loss so that his complexion would not look quite so haggard.

Wei Fu reached out to steady him and helped him sit back down. “This subject has worked alongside Your Highness for many years. We ceased being outsiders long ago, so why trouble yourself over such trivial matters? This time, I brought back a considerable quantity of medicinal ingredients from Xiling, mostly ginseng and deer antler obtained from the north. They’ve already been handed over to the attendants of the Inner Treasury. I hope they’ll help Your Highness recover soon.”

Freed from the crushing weight of the kingdom and its people, and with two Royal Physicians taking turns regulating his health, Yugong Lie was visibly better when Wei Fu saw him again after several months apart. He was still so thin that his clothes seemed to hang loosely from him, but his spirits had improved considerably compared with when Wei Fu left the previous year.

“Yes… Chancellor Wei bears such heavy responsibilities, yet you still took the trouble to remember me. Thank you.” Yugong Lie seemed about to say something, only to falter. He gave Wei Fu a slightly embarrassed, crescent-eyed smile, then asked with concern, “Have you grown accustomed to your residence, Chancellor Wei? Is there anything you lack?”

He had lived in the Chancellor’s Residence for six years. Wasn’t it a little late to remember to ask him that now? Wei Fu had no idea what Yugong Lie was getting at, but he smiled politely. “Many thanks for Your Highness’s concern. This subject has everything he needs.”

“That’s good.” Yugong Lie seemed to be making a tremendous effort to ingratiate himself. “I know Little Uncle would never treat you poorly, but with the new sovereign’s accession, the palace is inevitably busy and disorderly. If any attendants neglect their duties, or if you encounter some troublesome matter that is difficult to handle, you can come to me too… r-right? Haha.”

Wei Fu also worked hard to smile at him. “This subject understands. I’ll certainly convey Your Highness’s concern to my sovereign.”

What exactly was that “right?” supposed to mean?

After abdicating, Yugong Lie had withdrawn with the palace household to Hejing Palace in the Western Gardens of the inner palace. The place had originally been a detached palace where sovereigns held banquets and admired the scenery. Two rulers of Longsha had abdicated in previous generations, and both had moved there to spend their remaining years in peace.

The Western Gardens had undergone several renovations. The palace furnishings were elegant and exquisite, and opening a window revealed green trees, brilliant flowers, distant mountains, and nearby waters. With carved beams and painted rafters throughout, the place resembled an immortal retreat and was truly an ideal place to recuperate.

“Actually, I told Little Uncle that once I abdicated, he could simply assign me some remote fief and let me spend the rest of my life there quietly.”

Yugong Lie had never been an especially affectionate person. When he was King, he had rarely chatted idly with Wei Fu, yet today, for some inexplicable reason, he kept holding him back to talk about domestic matters. “The two retired sovereigns of previous generations both passed the throne to their sons or grandsons, which was why they stayed in the palace to enjoy their old age. But ours was an abdication between uncle and nephew. By established custom, I ought to move outside the palace or go to my fief. That would be the proper arrangement.”

Wei Fu thought, There’s absolutely no way we’d dare send you somewhere remote. Wouldn’t that just be begging the censors to point fingers at us? And if someone with ulterior motives made use of you and copied Yugong Ming by staging a sudden return, how could keeping you directly beneath our eyes not be safer? Out loud, however, he comforted him gently. “Your Highness was a wise and benevolent sovereign. Yielding the throne was likewise a prudent and far-sighted decision. My sovereign respects you, while the ministers and common people alike cherish and support you. It is only right that you be honored and cared for within the palace. Why bind yourself to old conventions?”

Wei Fu had learned the truth of Yugong Zhaoye’s origins only after returning. Since the matter concerned the late emperor’s reputation, Yugong Zhaoye and Yugong Lie had discussed it and ultimately decided not to announce it to the world, out of consideration for the peace of those who had passed. They would continue addressing each other as uncle and nephew, preserving the posthumous edict only for emergencies.

At the time, Wei Fu had only one thought: The emperors of Longsha really do dare to think and act. Every generation behaves this recklessly, yet somehow Longsha still hasn’t fallen?

The former King silently raised his eyes toward him, looking like a poor little thing who had suffered endless grievances. There was no trace of the ruthlessness with which he had once tried to poison Wei Fu after his secret was discovered. His eyes were even slightly watery, as though he had been moved by Wei Fu’s understanding and consideration.

Seeing his expression, Wei Fu pressed his advantage. “Besides, even if Your Highness lived elsewhere in the capital, nowhere could compare with the palace, where physicians and medicine are available whenever you need them. Your Highness’s most important concern now is recuperating. My sovereign must have considered this as well, which is why he insisted that you remain.”

“Yes… Chancellor Wei is right.” Yugong Lie stole what he apparently believed were subtle glances at him and said softly, “Since Chancellor Wei doesn’t mind, I’ll stay here for the time being. Once my condition improves, I’ll move out.”

Wei Fu: “?”

What did he mean, since Chancellor Wei doesn’t mind? Could Yugong Lie genuinely be worried that Wei Fu would persuade Yugong Zhaoye to drive his supposed nephew out of the palace?

“Your Highness truly doesn’t need to worry so much. So long as you wish it, you may remain in the palace for the rest of your life. There’s no need to fear that the ministers will object.” Wei Fu tactfully offered a word in his own defense. “You know my sovereign’s temperament. His word has always been final. Once he decides something, when has he ever allowed anyone else to interfere?”

Yugong Lie looked like a little cabbage that had been driven into a corner with nowhere left to retreat. Trembling faintly, he lifted his cup and hid his face behind it.

Following Yugong Lie’s gaze, Wei Fu looked down at himself. “…Me?”

The effortless smile he could usually produce under any circumstances finally began to crack. Forcing it back into place, he said gently, “Since this subject is Longsha’s Chancellor, naturally my sovereign’s wishes must still come first…”

Yugong Lie wore an expression that plainly said, I understand. I understand everything. “When you marry a chicken, follow the chicken; when you marry a dog, follow the dog.”

Wei Fu: “…Your Highness meant, ‘When in another land, follow its customs; as a guest, defer to the host,’ didn’t you?”

Yugong Lie stared blankly back at him with a pair of wide, innocent eyes.

In Bihan City, where there was no true winter and spring had brought warm weather and blooming flowers, the atmosphere inside the hall froze solid.

A moment later, the former King who had wisely withdrawn while still at the height of his power closed his eyes and steeled himself, making a decision that defied his ancestors even more thoroughly than his abdication had—

“Longsha is very open-minded… If a foreign princess can marry into Longsha, then of course a foreign chancellor can too! I absolutely won’t be tactless enough to disturb the two of you, so you can live peacefully in the palace, Auntie!”

＊

“What is this?”

“And this, that, and that whole pile outside the window—what are they?”

Bihua Pavilion was a veritable gathering of heroes. An enormous unidentified scarlet bird perched upon a high branch, preening its feathers. Two large cats with amber eyes and pointed tufts on their ears crouched beside the artificial rockery, staring fixedly at the bird while sharpening their claws. Several fawns and lambs with red silk tied around their necks bounded through the courtyard, grazing and gnawing on tree bark. Ripples moved across the water in a large blue-and-white porcelain vat, where a school of flatfish lay spread flat against the sand and mud at the bottom.

The courtyard was crowded with chests and cages of every size, containing every imaginable variety of silk, fragrant herbs, gold, silver, and jade. There was even an exquisite carriage decorated with brilliant red silk and flowers of every color. Two magnificent snow-white horses without a single stray hair of another color stood docilely nearby, crunch, crunch, chewing the bean cakes offered by palace attendants.

Jin Han, codenamed Wang Yue, had a trace of flattery flickering through his smile. “These are merely small tokens of your subordinates’ regard, hardly worth mentioning. We offer them to congratulate Your Majesty on your new—uh, on your joyous accession to the throne.”

Yugong Zhaoye glanced outside the window and asked in genuine bewilderment, “Did I ascend the throne in the middle of a forest?”

Jin Han was struck speechless. The Moon Envoys hurriedly crowded forward and enthusiastically began introducing the gifts. “Your Majesty, look at this pair of scarlet birds! They come from Xueluo and are said to be descendants of the phoenix. An auspicious blessing bestowed by Heaven!” “And look at these lynxes! Kui Yue and the others went through countless intermediaries to have them sent back from Yanyuan. See how clever and majestic they are—truly auspicious creatures!” “And these deer and sheep symbolize the Three Yangs Ushering in Prosperity and the perfection of both fortune and prosperity. An exceptionally auspicious sign!” “And look at our locally raised flatfish! They symbolize… er… what was it again?”

A cool voice supplied, “The profound devotion of a loving couple.”

Elio’s Notes: 鹣鲽情深 is an idiom for deep conjugal devotion. 鹣 refers to a mythical paired bird said to possess only one wing each, while 鲽 is a flatfish traditionally associated with paired lovers.

Xin Yue suddenly understood and slapped his thigh. “Exactly! How auspicious! How festive! Hahaha!”

After saying that, he turned his head and discovered that the person who had supplied the answer was Yugong Zhaoye.

Everyone: “…”

After Yugong Zhaoye ascended the throne, Jin Han, codenamed Wang Yue, succeeded him as Envoy of the Purple Empyrean Court and leader of Yeguang. Their superior had become their supreme sovereign, making Yeguang the innermost circle of the King’s innermost circle. This enormous piece of good fortune arrived so suddenly that everyone gleefully celebrated their rise along with his while throwing themselves wholeheartedly into currying favor with the new ruler.

Unfortunately, Yugong Zhaoye had always been exceptionally difficult to please. He could practically be described as indifferent to fame and fortune and devoid of worldly desires. One careless attempt at flattery could easily land on the horse’s hoof instead of its rump.

Fortunately, this celestial immortal who looked capable of surviving entirely upon dew was not completely without weaknesses. There remained one worldly attachment he could never sever—

That fox from Xiling who was so skilled at manipulating people’s hearts.

From the time the Minister-Regent first came to Longsha as an envoy, to recovering the two ports from Qiyun, establishing the Purple Empyrean Court, dividing Yanyuan from within and overthrowing the Ten Aspects Sect, and negotiating the withdrawal of Dongyu’s troops, Wei Fu had participated in many of Yeguang’s greatest operations over the past six years. His knowledge of their secrets was second only to Yugong Zhaoye’s. Had his official position not made it inappropriate, he knew more than enough to receive a Yeguang codename of his own.

The members of Yeguang had been among the first to discover their relationship and had watched the two of them support one another all the way until their feelings finally bore fruit. Their romance might have appeared “shocking and contrary to convention” in outsiders’ eyes, but compared with everything else these two had done throughout their lives, it was probably the least shocking thing about them.

The King remained mindful of worldly gossip and public opinion and had not displayed their relationship too ostentatiously. But Jin Han himself had rushed beyond the city walls in the middle of the night to place that brilliant scarlet ceremonial robe into Wei Fu’s hands. If they still could not understand their sovereign’s wishes after that, then all those years spent as covert agents had been wasted.

Thus, although these objects were nominally described as “auspicious omens,” they had actually been selected with painstaking care according to the Thirty Betrothal Gifts, and everything appeared in matching pairs. After all, no flattery could speak as loudly as words whispered beside the pillow. Even the coldest heart would soften before the blessing, “May you enjoy a hundred years of harmony.”

Yugong Zhaoye watched the chaos of birds and beasts outside and felt that retribution had finally caught up with him. Every Imperial Father would eventually acquire his own collection of unfilial descendants.

He wanted to rebuke them for neglecting their proper duties, but when he met those smiling, sparkling eyes, the words sank back into his stomach and dissolved into a helpless, amused sigh.

“I thank you on Chancellor Wei’s behalf. Your intentions are commendable, but do not do this again. And I hope all of you soon find the one your own hearts desire.”

＊

Across the palace avenue from Bihua Pavilion stood Xuandu Palace, the sleeping palace chosen by the new King. Situated northeast of Xuanchen Hall, it provided convenient access to the front court.

Yugong Zhaoye stepped into the rear hall. The moment he saw what awaited him inside, he withdrew the foot he had just placed across the threshold and turned to instruct the eunuchs carrying chests behind him, “Take inventory of these things and put them into storage first… There’s no room left.”

“What are all these?”

Wei Fu was staring miserably at a courtyard full of furniture. The moment he saw Yugong Zhaoye, he let out an “Awoo!” and came charging over with his arms spread like a great roc, throwing himself around him.

Yugong Zhaoye was still in that state of mind where a brief separation had been followed immediately by newlywed bliss. This was probably the gentlest-tempered period of his entire life. Curiously, he pinched Wei Fu’s bright-red ear. “What happened? Weren’t you visiting A’Lie today? Who upset you?”

“You.” Wei Fu bit his lips with exactly the right amount of force, then whimpered resentfully, “It’s all your fault for giving yourself away in front of your eldest nephew. And—and… what sort of ridiculous thing was he calling me?!”

The destructive power of that one word had been terrifying, no less devastating than heavenly thunder striking the crown of his head or a vast tsunami crashing directly over him. In his daze, Wei Fu had thought his primordial spirit had been blasted completely out of his body, and it still had not returned.

Yugong Zhaoye had already experienced Yugong Lie’s solemn, self-sacrificing style of acknowledging relatives, so he could guess what had been said without asking. Suppressing his laughter, he stroked Wei Fu’s hair soothingly. “No wonder I smelled something scorched the moment I came in. So our Lord Xiao Guan has just returned from undergoing his heavenly tribulation. He doesn’t treat you as an outsider anymore. Isn’t that a good thing?”

“This goes far beyond not treating me as an outsider… Your eldest nephew is far too sincere. He thought I’d moved into the palace and was afraid my household allowance wouldn’t be enough, so he dragged me around choosing things for ages. He practically wanted to move the Retired Emperor’s entire fortune over here.” Wei Fu reached out casually and somehow produced a square box wrapped in ivory-colored, gold-woven brocade. He said listlessly, “He even gave me the phoenix seal and told me to keep it for my amusement for a few years.”

“He certainly thought matters through very thoroughly…”

Yugong Zhaoye had no harem, only one tall and imposing “master of the central palace.” Apart from displaying his status, there genuinely was nothing Wei Fu could do with the phoenix seal except admire it. “That proves Her Majesty the Queen fully deserves the title. You’re capable of bearing the responsibility, so accept it without worry. Jin Han and the others sent you a great pile of things too… Do you prefer your flatfish steamed or braised?”

“Forget the flatfish for now!”

Wei Fu’s eyes widened in horror. Grabbing Yugong Zhaoye by both shoulders, he shook him back and forth. “Exactly how many people know about us?! Everything was perfectly normal before I left, so how did it become common knowledge by the time I returned? Those little princes aren’t going to come in here later and address me one after another as ‘Royal Mother,’ are they?!”

Yugong Zhaoye: “…”

“Where in the world is there such a thing as a State Chancellor appointed for twenty years? The moment that was announced, everyone understood.”

It was rare to see the fox spirit’s mind fail to make a connection. Yugong Zhaoye poked the frozen Wei Fu and said helplessly, “I told you long ago that Longsha is very open-minded. It’s time for you to move into the palace too. Surely you don’t intend to spend the rest of your life climbing walls for secret trysts?”

The moment he finished speaking, an arm tightened around his waist, and then his entire body was hoisted straight off the ground like a scallion being pulled from dry earth.

Yugong Zhaoye looked like a stiff, upright cat as he gazed reproachfully down at Wei Fu from that height. “In broad daylight, you dare commit such blatant insubordination?”

“My sovereign personally said he dislikes secret trysts!” With exceptionally nimble footwork, Wei Fu threaded through all the obstacles filling the courtyard and rushed toward the sleeping chambers like a gale. “Since I have received such profound favor, this subject shall immediately fulfill the duties of the central palace!”

The new sovereign had only just established his reign and had not yet found time to assert his authority before the assembled ministers, but he first displayed an impressive amount of royal might inside the bed curtains. Ordinarily, that bastard could hardly resist turning Yugong Zhaoye over and nibbling him eight hundred times, slowing only when Yugong Zhaoye finally could not indulge him any further and ordered him to stop. Yet after becoming “Queen,” Wei Fu inexplicably turned reserved instead, meticulously observing some mysterious set of ceremonial rules whose origin was entirely unknown. He lingered with touches as light as a dragonfly skimming water, as though terrified of committing usurpation, and refused to proceed until the sovereign had issued a clear command from his golden mouth.

He also murmured “my sovereign” over and over with such lingering tenderness that, for several days afterward, Yugong Zhaoye’s temples began throbbing whenever he heard the form of address.

＊

Most of Longsha’s ministers tacitly understood the peculiar relationship between the King and Chancellor Wei. They had somehow managed to invite him back as State Chancellor for twenty years, and it was always easier to invite a deity than to send one away, so what more could anyone demand? In any case, the former King had already selected suitable children from the royal clan, so the kingdom had successors. So long as these two did not behave too outrageously, the ministers could simply pretend not to know.

However, just as wherever there was light there would also be shadow, even the most open-minded society contained a handful of stubborn individuals.

The opposition was not stupid enough to stand up on the spot and shout, “I object to this marriage!” After all, Yugong Zhaoye was famous for acting according to his own will. Instead, they carefully considered the King’s origins and past. Before entering court, Yugong Zhaoye had spent years cultivating at Yeguang Hall, so he apparently believed deeply in the gods. Since he would not listen to human remonstrance, why not allow the will of Heaven to issue the sovereign a warning?

Thus, during morning court on the day after Wei Fu moved into Xuandu Palace, the Director of the Bureau of Astronomy resolutely stepped forward and reported in a ringing voice, “Reporting to Your Majesty. During its customary observation of the heavens last night, the Bureau of Astronomy witnessed a guest star appear in the north. It resembled neither cloud nor smoke. It entered the Purple Tenuity Enclosure, trespassed upon the Emperor’s Seat, and then returned to the Supreme Palace Enclosure.”

Yugong Zhaoye sat with his cheek resting upon one hand. At these words, he raised an eyebrow slightly and asked with apparent interest, “Oh? How should this be interpreted?”

The Director of the Bureau of Astronomy replied, “The astronomical records state: ‘A guest star resembles drifting catkins, like fine powdered fluff wafting through the air.’ The Canon of Astrology says, ‘When a guest star trespasses upon the Emperor’s Seat within the Purple Palace, a great minister offends his sovereign.’ It further says, ‘When a guest star enters and leaves the Supreme Palace Enclosure, the ruler shall encounter troubles.’ This is a warning from the will of Heaven. Your Majesty is respectfully urged to take heed.”

Elio’s Notes: The author draws the guest-star description from the History of Song: Treatise on Astronomy. The astrological omens come from Qutan Xida’s Kaiyuan Zhanjing: the “guest star trespasses on the Emperor’s Seat” omen appears in Volume 84, while the Taiwei / Supreme Palace Enclosure omen appears in Volume 83 in commonly available editions.

He had stopped only barely short of explicitly declaring that Wei Fu was the reincarnation of this inauspicious baleful star. Yugong Zhaoye gave a quiet laugh. “What do the rest of you think?”

A Censor of the Censorate immediately seized the opportunity and stepped forward to memorialize. “When a favored flatterer holds sway at court, a baleful star appears. This subject believes the might of Heaven must be feared. Your Majesty has only recently ascended the throne and should reverently cultivate your character, govern your subordinates with uprightness, refrain from indulging intimate favorites at your side, and devote yourself to diligent rule. By following the proper course of Heaven, the baleful star will naturally depart, and peace will return beneath Heaven.”

Elio’s Notes: The wording about “reverently cultivating oneself,” governing subordinates with uprightness, and not indulging favored intimates is cited by the author from the History of Ming: Biography of Li Xian.

“Minister Chen speaks with such certainty that one might think you had personally met this baleful star.” Yugong Zhaoye asked unhurriedly, “Tell me: are the ministers standing in this hall any different from those who served during the former King’s reign?”

“This…”

Censor Chen did not understand his meaning and froze momentarily. “Reporting to Your Majesty, they are not.”

“Precisely. They are not.”

“The former King abdicated, and I had only just taken up residence within the inner palace when this celestial phenomenon appeared.” Yugong Zhaoye’s expression was stern, and no anger could be heard in his clear, cold voice, yet it swept across the backs of everyone’s necks like a gleaming blade. “What an excellent omen—a guest star trespassing upon the Emperor’s Seat. None of you are speaking. What exactly are all of you thinking?”

The instant those words fell, everyone’s hair stood on end. The Director of the Bureau of Astronomy dropped to his knees with a thud. “Your Majesty, please calm your anger! This subject harbored absolutely no such meaning!”

Chancellor Fuyu Wei fiercely glared at Censor Chen, who promptly knelt as well. “This subject would never dare criticize Your Majesty recklessly! I merely wished to urge Your Majesty to draw worthy ministers close and distance yourself from petty men. This subject’s loyalty toward Your Majesty may be witnessed by the sun and moon!”

With only a few sentences, Yugong Zhaoye had redirected the miserable celestial omen onto himself. As expected, the court immediately fell so silent it was as though someone had just died. Not a single additional “upright remonstrating minister” dared continue offering advice beneath his gaze.

Yugong Zhaoye scoffed silently and was about to dismiss court when Wei Fu, who had been quietly watching the spectacle, suddenly lifted his head and curved his eyes into a smile. “Your Majesty.”

The sound was as ominous as a funeral bell. Yugong Zhaoye’s temples immediately began throbbing, while every minister’s heart trembled at the same moment. They all glared at Censor Chen with hatred—

Why did you have to provoke him when you had nothing better to do? Now look what you’ve done. The fox spirit is about to take revenge!

Yugong Zhaoye slowly drew a deep breath and said with forbearance, “Minister Wei.”

Wei Fu turned slightly toward the assembled ministers. “This subject has never formally studied astronomy and has only casually read a few divination classics. I would never dare claim true understanding, but I have one small doubt and would like to consult the Director of the Bureau of Astronomy.”

The Director desperately wished he could transform into a radish and burrow beneath the floor. Unfortunately, Wei Fu looked down at him from above, sweeping his gaze across everyone else’s heads as well, and asked with perfect sincerity, “It is true that the sovereign corresponds to the will of Heaven. However, since Longsha recognizes Xiling as its suzerain state, shouldn’t celestial signs involving the Purple Tenuity and Supreme Palace Enclosures correspond to His Majesty the Emperor of Xiling?”

Everyone: “…”

It—it made perfect sense!

What baleful star? What trespassing upon the Emperor’s Seat? What did any of that have to do with their perfectly innocent Longsha?!

Wei Fu had not actually intended to take revenge on anyone. He was even patiently providing them with a graceful way out. “His Majesty’s most trusted right-hand man led the army against Zhending on Xiling’s northern frontier last year. Judging by the date, he should be returning to court around now, so—”

“What?” Repeatedly battered senseless by the pair’s sophistry, Censor Chen confusedly considered Wei Fu’s unfinished implication and exclaimed in astonishment, “The emperor of Xiling has that sort of relationship too?!”

Everyone: “…”

Wei Fu: “‘Too’?”

“Have all of you run out of serious business?” Yugong Zhaoye said coldly. “Court is dismissed.”

The King swept his sleeves and departed.