Not everyone likes weekends, just as not every man likes women.
Mai Ding, who could never sit still, had grown used to the full routine of company life. Spending a weekend at home with nothing to do felt like a terrible waste of time. Then he looked at An Zi Yan, still asleep in bed at noon, extravagantly squandering time itself.
Waking An Zi Yan on a Sunday felt too cruel. Mai Ding was softhearted, he told himself, finding an excuse for his own cowardice. What could he do instead? He had already cleaned, bought groceries, and paid the water, electricity, and gas bills. Mai Ding ran through everything in his head and found nothing left to do. Just then, An Zi Yan’s phone rang. Mai Ding walked into the bedroom and nudged him. “Your phone’s ringing. Hurry up and answer it.” When An Zi Yan did not move, Mai Ding grabbed the phone from the bedside table. The caller ID said President Wang, so he shook An Zi Yan even harder. “Quick. It might be something important.”
An Zi Yan made an irritated sound. “Why don’t you answer it? You’re so noisy.”
“Me?! What am I supposed to say? We can’t let President Wang find out we’re married.”
“Then tell him we’re fuck buddies.”
Mai Ding threw the phone onto An Zi Yan. An Zi Yan groped for it and answered. “Hello. Your daughter?” Mai Ding immediately pricked up his ears, but no matter how hard he listened, he could not hear what President Wang was saying.
“Not going. I’m sleeping. It’s outside work hours, so I don’t have to listen to you.” An Zi Yan hung up and casually tossed the phone back onto the bed. Mai Ding climbed onto the bed, sat on An Zi Yan’s legs, and smacked him once. “An Zi Yan, I used to think President Wang liked you.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” An Zi Yan sounded as though he had heard something deeply unpleasant. Mai Ding said, “Because he always asks you to fix his computer. Aren’t there always stories about lonely middle-aged women calling plumbers and things like that?”
“I’m more interested in where you learned about middle-aged women and plumbers.”
“Zhou Ge told me. He said that when he and Ellen were experiencing life, Ellen often played a middle-aged housewife whose husband wasn’t home, while he played a strong young plumber. The two of them slowly developed feelings for each other and began a tangled, conflicted love affair filled with happiness and regret. Sigh. Fate really loves playing tricks on people.”
“Sounds more like an affair to me.” An Zi Yan sat up, gave Mai Ding, who had been fooled yet again, a contemptuous look, then grabbed his head. “What exactly is your brain made of?” Mai Ding broke free and smoothed his messy hair. “You dragged the conversation off-topic again. Thinking President Wang liked you was my old theory. But I heard you mention his daughter on the phone. Could it be that he has his eye on you and wants to introduce his daughter to you? That kind of thing happens all the time in novels. What are we going to do? If you reject her, President Wang will definitely get angry. You might not be able to survive at the company anymore!”
An Zi Yan pulled his legs out from beneath Mai Ding’s backside, stood up, and lazily walked toward the bathroom. “Who said I’m going to reject his daughter?” Mai Ding rushed after him. “Are you planning to pretend to date her for a promotion? No! You might not have any bottom line, but I do. I’m not letting you be with his daughter. I’m not stupid enough to hand you over to somebody else.”
An Zi Yan squeezed toothpaste onto his toothbrush and teased him as though nothing were wrong. “Isn’t sacrificing yourself for others one of your virtues?” Mai Ding filled the rinsing cup with water and put it in front of An Zi Yan. “Exactly. Sacrificing myself for others, not sacrificing you for others. What if she really falls for you? I have a temper too. I might even hit her.” The mocking laugh that followed wounded Mai Ding’s pride. He glared at An Zi Yan’s reflection as he brushed his teeth. “You just want to watch me get jealous and beg you not to leave me, don’t you? I’ve seen through your scheme. Just wait. I’ll go seduce President Wang’s daughter too and see what you do then.” He had only wanted to provoke An Zi Yan a little. An Zi Yan spat out the foam, rinsed his mouth, and replied unhurriedly, “Then congratulations. You’ll finally end up in prison for molesting a child.”
“W-what?” Mai Ding needed several seconds to process that. At last he stammered, “President Wang’s daughter is a little kid?”
“Eight.”
“You should’ve said that earlier. Wait. When did you ever meet President Wang’s daughter?” An Zi Yan walked out of the bathroom and shrugged. “The first time should’ve been in the park while you were doing your internship.”
“That doesn’t make sense. You were still in school then. You hadn’t joined the company and didn’t know President Wang. And you would go to a park?”
“Mm.”
“Then…” Realization suddenly struck. “You knew she was President Wang’s daughter and deliberately got to know her so you could use his daughter to… No wonder President Wang seems to have a good relationship with you. My god, in a movie you’d absolutely be the villain!”
“We just happened to run into each other.”
“Like hell I believe that!”
Their argument only stopped when someone knocked on the door. Mai Ding opened it and found Yu Rong Mei standing outside with a plate of cookies, a pink apron tied around her waist. “Whew, good thing you’re home. My husband and I baked way too many cookies, so we brought some over for you to try.” Mai Ding took the plate and was about to thank her when Yu Rong Mei continued, “And if you’re about to say we’re being too polite, don’t. I just wanted to try baking them and accidentally made more than we can finish, so you’re helping us out.” Her gaze shifted toward An Zi Yan as well, but he ignored her.
“You two really know how to enjoy life.”
“Not at all. We were just having fun.”
Xu De opened their door and stuck his head out. “Honey, if you don’t come back to the kitchen, I’m going to lose my mind.”
“I know. Honestly, you can’t even handle one little thing.”
“Yes, yes. How could I ever compare with my brilliant and capable wife?” Xu De surrendered in his blue apron. Yu Rong Mei giggled. “All you know how to do is flatter me.” The air filled with so much pink romantic energy that there was no room left for Mai Ding. He felt like an enormous third wheel. Once the door closed, the pink atmosphere vanished. He turned to look at his own husband, who had just gotten out of bed only to lie down on the sofa with a book.
“Reading while lying down is bad for your eyesight.”
“None of your fucking business.”
Conversations like the one between Xu De and Yu Rong Mei would probably never happen between Mai Ding and An Zi Yan. They would never wear matching clothes or matching aprons. An Zi Yan would never praise Mai Ding for being clever and capable, much less call him “Lord Mai Ding.” There was absolutely no doubt about it. None of those things would ever happen. Mai Ding put the cookies on the coffee table, picked one up, and popped it into his mouth. “Want one?”
“No.”
“You still really dislike them? Why? We’ve known them for a while now and I haven’t seen anything about them that should bother you.”
“I just dislike them.”
“So you actually don’t know why either, right?”
“Mm.” He admitted it surprisingly frankly. Mai Ding picked up another cookie and put it into his mouth. “You really need to get that willfulness of yours under control!” Then he simply lifted the whole plate and kept eating as he talked. “But don’t worry. This time, if something happens, even if I see you beating up Xu De, I’ll stand on your side.” An Zi Yan lowered the book onto his chest, visibly amused as he pushed the joke farther. “What if I’m beating up Yu Rong Mei?”
“You can’t hit girls!”
“But what if I really want to?” What kind of person said something like I really want to hit a girl? Sigh. His husband, apparently. Mai Ding argued with himself for a while before reluctantly saying, “Then hit her lightly.” An Zi Yan could not resist wanting to pinch Mai Ding’s nose, nor could he stop himself from thinking that Mai Ding looked adorable right then, but he would never say it aloud. Lu Wei’s appearance back then had not necessarily been a bad thing. Since then, each of them had learned to bend parts of their personality for the other.