Yan Xiaodao reclined his airplane seat and wrapped himself haphazardly in a blanket until he resembled a silkworm cocoon. He was exhausted, yet still could not sleep peacefully. His breathing grew rapid as a nightmare dragged him beneath an endless, suffocating black curtain. After struggling there for a moment, he suddenly opened his eyes!
The instant his eyes opened, his nose nearly bumped into Ling He’s. Ling He was staring at him without blinking, the tips of their noses brushing while their lips remained slightly offset. “Xiaodao?”
Yan Xiaodao quickly rolled his eyes up and down until his bearings returned. They were in the first-class cabin of a plane flying back to Luancheng.
Mr. Ling had one concerned hand pressed over his chest and collarbone. No wonder he had been crushed into having a nightmare!
Yan Xiaodao coughed apologetically. “Sorry. I fell asleep just now.”
Ling He looked meaningfully at him. “You didn’t just fall asleep. You talked in your sleep.”
Yan Xiaodao: “…What did I say?”
Ling He worried at the corner of his own mouth and did not hide it. “You called for your godfather… Hah. Rather affectionately too.”
Was it really that affectionate? Yan Xiaodao surrendered to the sharp Mr. Ling with his eyes. He truly had dreamed of his godfather, Qi Baoshan. What occupied the mind by day inevitably returned in dreams at night. He had no idea how the other man was doing now, or whether Qi had come to hate him. Yan Xiaodao had always valued his bonds deeply. Feelings branded into his flesh and blood over so many years, family affection, filial duty, loyalty, were not things that could be lightly declared erased and then simply disappear. If one day all of them truly vanished, it would be like smashing every bone in his body, taking him apart, rearranging the pieces, then forcibly assembling them into an entirely different person.
Ling He had won this battle decisively. He truly was resourceful and calculating. Captain Xue had cooperated beautifully too, allowing Ling He to achieve his objective without shedding another drop of blood.
But what had been severed and shattered inside Yan Xiaodao went far beyond the tendon and ankle of one foot…
Yan Xiaodao lowered his head, and all the sorrowful reflection filling his chest instantly evaporated as he laughed. Hadn’t that blanket been wrapped tightly around him just a moment ago?
His silkworm-cocoon arrangement had vanished. A single blanket now lay spread across both of them, yet the first-class seats were so wide that there simply was not enough blanket to go around. He must have dragged it back and forth in his sleep. Meanwhile, the extraordinarily thick-skinned Mr. Ling was saying, “I couldn’t find my blanket, and the air-conditioning is cold,” while brazenly using his heel to kick the blanket beneath his own seat farther out of sight.
Yan Xiaodao merely smiled mockingly and let the young master get away with it. He could not be bothered exposing him. Besides, the nightmare just now probably had not been caused solely by Ling He pressing against his chest.
A handsome male flight attendant brought their meal.
The flight attendants in first class generally looked more polished than the ones in economy. Wealthy bosses were, after all, notoriously particular and difficult to please. Now that Yan Xiaodao had developed an interest in men, he could not resist giving the attendant another glance, only to decide immediately that he had wasted his eyesight. All the men in the mortal world were ordinary, vulgar creatures. None of them could compare with Xiao He. That was the difference between common earthly goods and a celestial beauty. Plastic surgery would not help. Better wait until the next life and reincarnate properly.
The airplane food was atrocious too. Yan Xiaodao was already the rough, unfussy type, yet even he found the ancient piece of beef on his fork impossible to tear apart or chew. He laughed at himself. “You’ve spoiled my palate!”
Ling He understood perfectly. His thin lips curved into an exceptionally handsome arc of satisfaction. “Order whatever you want for dinner tonight. I’ll cook.”
The two exchanged trays with perfect understanding and cleared away the barely edible food through mutual cooperation. Ling He took responsibility for swallowing the beef that refused to break down no matter how long one chewed it, while Mr. Yan ate the boiled vegetables that lodged between the teeth. Each ate whatever the other disliked.
Ling He casually mentioned, “You miss home? Miss your brothers? Use the phones at my house whenever you want. I won’t stop you from reminiscing with old friends, but you are not allowed to leave.”
I won’t stop you from missing home or old relationships, but I have no intention of letting you go. Absolutely none. That was Ling He’s strategy toward Yan Xiaodao. On the surface, it was a mixture of softness and force. In reality, the great little demon had spread an entire web of sticky spider silk and intended to cling to him until death.
By now, Yan Xiaodao had finally learned what it meant to be caught between two sides. The brothers closest to him undoubtedly hated Ling He by now. The next time the two groups met, they would almost certainly start tearing into each other. How was Yan supposed to resolve all the resentment and misunderstanding between them?
As though guessing his thoughts, Ling He smiled. “I sent some local specialties to your godfather, your mother, Lord Bear and Sanniang, and that whole group of little brothers at your house. Some were for people and some for the dogs. Dried seafood from Luancheng, plus several specialties from the Three Rivers region. I sent two batches altogether.”
Yan Xiaodao stared at him. “You sent them things?”
Ling He smiled with obvious ill intent. “Of course I sent them in your name. If I’d written my name as the sender, they’d probably assume I was trying to poison them.”
Yan Xiaodao shook his head with a sigh and could not resist reaching over to pinch the soft, slightly hollowed place at the back of Ling He’s neck.
Mr. Ling was meticulous enough to cover every angle, always planning three moves ahead before making one and forever staying in front of him. Being with Ling He meant constantly keeping the knife sharpened for somebody, because otherwise one day that knife might end up against his own throat. There truly was not a single moment when he could relax!
If this man were simple like Liang Youhui, Yan Xiaodao’s life would certainly be much easier.
But if Ling He really were as straightforward and ordinary as Young Master Liang, with nothing to sink one’s teeth into, Yan Xiaodao would never have become this obsessed with him, caught between love and hatred and utterly unable to let go.
The group returned to Hanhai House in Luancheng. Seasonal crape myrtles and begonias competed in bloom across the courtyard, lending a youthful liveliness to the otherwise plain, pale old villa.
Su Zhe, who had been guarding the empty house alone, almost threw himself at Mr. Yan’s feet to hug his legs and cry the moment he saw them return. Poor Little Brother Su had spent these past days living in a daze, licking plates after eating junk food by day and masturbating at night while smelling Mr. Yan’s pajamas. Now both the chef who could feed him and the rugged man he fancied had returned at once. With both appetite and libido provided for, Little Brother Su blossomed like a seductive begonia. That evening, he promptly had his hair permed again, painstakingly styling it into something trendy before parading himself back and forth in front of Mr. Yan.
At dinner that night, Chef Ling prepared a five-course Western meal for Mr. Yan, exclusively for Yan Xiaodao. He casually handed Su Zhe a plate of egg fried rice instead, throwing in a few leftover shrimp as scraps.
That was simply Ling He’s temperament. When expressing his preference and devotion toward one particular person, he could not even be bothered maintaining appearances for everyone else at the table. He did exactly what he pleased, aloof and willful to the end.
Amid Immortal Mao’s laughter, Little Brother Su dropped his forehead onto the dining table, then raised his head indignantly with a huge pink bump on it. Fine, fried rice was fried rice. With a handsome man sitting beside him, there was scenery enough to feast the eyes. He could eat a simple plate of egg fried rice until his cheeks flushed, his heart raced, and desire surged.
Yan Xiaodao laughed too, showing a very attractive row of white teeth.
Under Ling He’s tigerlike stare as he monitored his eating, Yan Xiaodao knowingly courted disaster and transferred a piece of thyme-seared lamb chop, cooked medium, from his own plate into Su Zhe’s bowl. He would never despise or mock Su Zhe for occasionally acting clingy with him, but neither would he flirt ambiguously or become excessively intimate. His words and behavior always kept their proper boundaries.
That evening, Mr. Yan called Little Brother Su over and told him about the strange discoveries they had made while investigating the Ci’en Hall welfare home in the Three Rivers region. He took out an old yellowing file containing a childhood photograph of Su Zhe.
A trace of embarrassment appeared on Su Zhe’s face. He fell silent for a moment, then quickly recovered his usual candor and ease, twisting his shoulders coquettishly. “Aiya, ge, you’re digging up all my embarrassing history. So mean… Yeah, I was sold to America. My adoptive parents treated me pretty well. There were plenty of kids in that orphanage whose lives were much worse than mine, so I’ve got nothing to complain about.”
Yan Xiaodao rubbed Little Brother Su’s permed hair like an indulgent older brother. The kid’s pair of black-and-gold earrings looked rather fashionable.
Su Zhe lowered his head and played with the cord bracelet on his wrist, then suddenly leaned against Yan Xiaodao’s shoulder, his eyes filled with tenderness and longing. “Ge, I have an older sister too. My biological sister. She was sold too. I came back to the mainland because I wanted to find her.”
Yan Xiaodao straightened his head. “Where was she sold?”
Su Zhe shook his head. “I don’t know.”
Yan Xiaodao asked, “What’s your sister’s name? Do you have a picture? Is her surname Su too?”
Su Zhe shook his head again. “I don’t have a picture. And her surname isn’t Su. We have the same mother but different fathers. My surname is Su, hers is Huang. Once she was sold to another family, who knows what surname they gave her? My sister was really beautiful, and she was so, so good to me…”
Warmhearted Mr. Yan gave Little Brother Su a firm pat. “Once I’m finished with what I’m doing now, I’ll help you find your sister. Don’t worry.”
……
Yan Xiaodao was naturally easygoing and extraordinarily good with people. He had lived in Ling He’s house for barely a month, yet somehow everyone from top to bottom had already been thoroughly won over. It was not only Little Brother Su. There was nobody in the entire house who disliked him.
He still had the habit of waking early, breathing in the cold dew and morning wind, and bathing in cold water. Such a hot-blooded lifestyle quickly inspired an entire group of Mr. Ling’s followers to accompany him every morning, turning cold-water bathing into the household’s latest fitness craze.
A peculiar scene soon appeared in the tastefully bourgeois courtyard of Hanhai House. A group of grown men would each carry out an enormous plastic basin or bucket, fill it with cold water, then pour it over their heads and shoulders. The shock left them shuddering violently, yet they still put on airs and shouted, “Feels great!” and “Refreshing!”
Mao Zhixiu sat cross-legged on the stone platform beside the entrance, shoulder to shoulder with the gentle Liu Huizhen. Pointing at the ridiculous men, she laughed. “What the hell is wrong with them?”
After watching for two days, however, Mao Zhixiu finally could not resist and joined the lunatic cold-bath brigade herself.
The only inconvenience for a woman was that she could not strip off her clothes and display her muscles whenever she pleased, leaving Mao Zhixiu slightly constrained among the rough men. She had an excellent figure too. A black tank top outlined her model-like proportions, while her shoulders and arms showed the attractive muscle built through years of training. Water flowed across the tattoo on her shoulder blade, washing the black ink into a brilliant gleam beneath the sunlight.
There was one other person who could clearly have shown off his muscles, yet stubbornly never did. He never undressed or exposed his body in front of others, whether from embarrassment or arrogance was impossible to say. Ling He quietly revealed half his face from behind the front door. His gaze skimmed across the crowd of moving chests and backs, yet Yan Xiaodao’s figure alone emerged sharply from the blur of everyone else.
Even Su Zhe had stripped down. Proudly displaying a skinny, weak-chicken physique, he wandered around Mr. Yan in tiny shorts. He knew perfectly well he could not have the man and that Yan was not his, but that did nothing to interfere with Little Brother Su’s lifelong talents for wishful thinking and self-admiration. If Yan Xiaodao glanced at his naked body even once, Su would preen as though he had profited enormously. After all, no matter how jealous Mr. Ling became, he would not genuinely break Su Zhe’s legs or snip off his tender little cucumber!
Yan Xiaodao’s laughter echoed through the courtyard. A film of water covered his muscles, his face handsome and carefree. Every so often he would point at the others and call, “Shanzhong and Neiguan! Shenque and Hegu! Keep washing for half an hour and you’ll relax your tendons, open your vessels, and live longer!”
Elio’s Notes: Shanzhong, Neiguan, Shenque, and Hegu are real acupuncture points in traditional Chinese medicine. Yan Xiaodao is joking here. The source is not seriously prescribing cold-water baths as a way to “open” them.
Yan Xiaodao was only fooling around, but shameless Su Zhe immediately sidled closer. “Ge, someone with extraordinary bones like mine must be perfect for martial arts, right? I want to open my Ren and Du meridians too, learn to fly over roofs and run along walls, and master the Nine Yang Divine Skill! Teach me, ge. Show me where the Ren and Du meridians are and how to open them…”
The so-called Ren and Du meridians both began at the Huiyin point between the legs. The Ren vessel traveled forward along the front of the body, while the Du vessel traveled backward along the spine to the crown of the head. Who didn’t know that?
Elio’s Notes: “Opening the Ren and Du meridians” is a familiar wuxia trope for achieving a dramatic breakthrough in martial arts. The “Nine Yang Divine Skill” is another famous fictional martial art from Jin Yong’s novels. Su Zhe’s suspicious enthusiasm about where those meridians begin is the actual joke.
Mao Zhixiu barked, “Little thief, quit acting shameless!”
Having his crooked little scheme exposed by Immortal Mao, Little Brother Su stuck out his tongue, covered the front of his shorts in disappointment, and ran away.
Mr. Ling, secretly watching from his corner, was indeed so jealous his teeth ached. He desperately wanted to find a whip and lash Su Zhe across the backside. Jealousy was human nature, especially when the object involved was somebody like Yan Xiaodao. Wherever he went and whatever situation he fell into, this man remained calm and adapted effortlessly, winning over everyone around him through sheer force of personality while somehow leaving the actual master of the household, Mr. Ling, standing forgotten at the side.
After finishing her cold bath, Immortal Mao was still dripping wet when she demonstrated her talent for flying onto rooftops. With a light running start, she climbed onto the wall and strolled leisurely along its top before springing directly onto the villa roof. There she struck a stylish Golden Rooster Stands on One Leg pose, followed by White Crane Spreads Its Wings.
Everyone applauded. The men shouted toward the rooftop, “Brother Xiu, still as handsome as ever!”
Yan Xiaodao raised his eyes toward the red-tiled eaves bathed in dawn light. His face suddenly grew still. He turned his gaze away, allowing the faint desolation inside him to dilute and disappear into his pitch-black, fathomless eyes. He neither became discouraged nor complained. Silently, he walked toward the entrance.
He could not climb onto walls anymore.
When he walked, the uneven sway was obvious. Even limping, he managed to look handsome, elegant, and imposing, but there was no denying it. He was lame.
Yan Xiaodao climbed the steps, only for someone hiding behind the door to seize his wrist with quick eyes and hands. His footing faltered and he stumbled straight into the entrance hall.
His chest nearly pressed flush against Ling He’s. Their bodies aligned with suggestive precision. Being almost the same height meant they could always examine the tiniest traces inside each other’s eyes face-to-face, and not even the faintest thread of loneliness or disappointment could hide.
Ling He’s eyes flickered with restrained guilt and affection. Softly, he said, “Do you want to go walk by the sea?… I… I could take you to the seaside bathing beach.”
Whenever Ling He said things like this, his tone always sounded unnatural, nowhere near as fluent and effortlessly eloquent as when he opened his mouth to curse someone and spray venom. He seemed born with a strange temperament meant for meeting hardness with hardness. He simply did not know how to flirt with someone or say a few gentle, sweet words.
Tender consideration truly was not his specialty. He was not good at asking people out either and had no real dating experience. He had lived twenty-three years. Who had he ever asked on a date?
“All right. Let’s go.” Yan Xiaodao agreed without hesitation.
Ling He had already braced himself to be disliked and rejected. He had even unconsciously begun gathering ammunition for the argument he expected to start with Yan Xiaodao in the next moment. Instead, Xiaodao accepted the invitation with such easy generosity that Ling He’s entire volley of poison had nowhere to go. A fleeting, breathtaking smile blossomed across his lips. For once, he smiled without defenses, gripping Xiaodao’s wrist tightly and refusing to let go.
Many of their conflicts had already burned themselves out. Nobody had formally pressed a switch and declared an end to their cold war. It had simply disappeared without a sound and laid down its weapons. What was there left to fight about?
On the drive to the coast, Ling He kept one hand holding Xiaodao’s even while driving, as though terrified Mr. Yan might suddenly change his mind and flee at the last moment.
Luancheng was a comfortable resort city in every season, cool enough in summer and mild enough in winter. The seawater at the bathing beach was still slightly chilly this month, yet the sand was already packed with people. Tourists and gulls competed for patches of soft white sand. Small, bewildered soft-legged crustaceans left behind by the morning tide hid in shallow pools beneath people’s feet.
Newlyweds were taking wedding photographs on the beach, kissing, embracing, lifting one another, even climbing onto each other to strike every imaginable difficult pose. The bride’s enormous wedding skirt whipped wildly in the sea breeze and suddenly flew straight over the face of Mr. Ling as he passed beside them. Ling He silently pulled the wedding dress off his head with mild irritation…
Ling He was dressed so ordinarily that the photographer had not examined his face properly before casually ordering him around like an assistant. “Hey! Sir, hold the train for us. Help hold it!”
Yan Xiaodao watched Ling He bend over and hold the bride’s skirt, smiling the entire time.
Ling He happened to be bright and cheerful because he was on a date with Xiaodao today. Ordinarily, with his dark and foul temperament, he might have waited until the bride passed and quietly stepped on the hem instead, summarily executing the shameless couple for publicly showing off their love.
The groom suddenly looked back, caught sight of Ling He’s face, and instantly developed the wary hostility born of inferiority between members of the same sex. “He doesn’t need to hold the skirt. Don’t let him hold it…”
Yan Xiaodao laughed and pulled Ling He away, leaving the photographer, who had suddenly awakened to the possibilities, chasing after their retreating figures. “Sir, would you model for us? We can negotiate the pay! Interested in shooting an advertisement?”
People all over the beach were inflating swim rings and rafts before heading into the water. Yan Xiaodao stretched his arms and loosened his muscles. “Sure. I’ll rent a raft too. You coming?”
Yan Xiaodao was deliberately teasing someone who was both stingy and shy to the marrow of his bones. Ling He would never strip off his clothes and swim in public. If he did, he would no longer be Ling He.
Standing straight-backed in the sea breeze, Mr. Ling gave him a faint eye-roll and immediately proposed with genuine enthusiasm, “I’ll take you on a jet ski.”
The beach operator had marked off an area of water and rented two-person jet skis. Yan Xiaodao raised an eyebrow. “You like these? You’ve ridden one before?”
Ling He shook his head. “Never.”
Yan Xiaodao grinned. “Can you handle it? Let me drive!”
Ling He immediately ordered, “You sit behind me. I’m driving!”
With an earsplitting roar of the engine, the jet ski suddenly shot forward beneath Yan Xiaodao’s backside. Caught completely unprepared, he fell backward and nearly flew into the water. Flexible strength in his waist folded him back into place. Having learned his lesson, Mr. Yan immediately wrapped his arms tightly around Ling He’s waist, and the two charged from the shallow bay toward deeper water, cutting through wind and waves…
Ling He had unquestionably never driven such a childish motorized toy before. He had never played any two-person game requiring bodies pressed so closely together. The thought had never even occurred to him. Every skill he had deliberately practiced throughout his life had carried some deeper strategy or calculation. Everything served a purpose. Never had he learned something simply for his own amusement or someone else’s. This kind of carefree happiness had nothing to do with the twenty years he had lived before. It was almost a heavenly form of enjoyment…
Every one of his first experiences had, in the end, been given to Yan Xiaodao.
Their clothes were quickly soaked through. One wave after another crashed over them from every direction. The salty sea and the scent of warm bodies mingled in their breathing until the sheer exhilaration nearly became suffocating…
Ling He’s wet hair whipped across Yan Xiaodao’s face. Their soaked white shirts clung tightly enough to outline both men’s chests and thighs.
Ling He’s backside occasionally pressed against the front of Yan Xiaodao’s trousers hard enough to become difficult to endure. Every time the jet ski surged forward, momentum threw Yan uncontrollably into Ling He’s back.
The two-person seat was actually more than wide enough. Yan Xiaodao eventually realized that the problem was not the size of the seat at all. It was him… After love and hatred twisted together until the very end, what remained was still the same love and devotion he could not abandon.
Ling He wore a half-buttoned Henley shirt with all three buttons undone. The seawater soaking his chest left the honey-toned skin completely exposed to the light.
They walked step by step through the shallows toward shore, almost seeming to rise directly from the waves, endless water and sky stretching behind them. Yan Xiaodao tilted his head and glanced at Ling He, soaked from chest to back. His flax-colored trousers were wet too, their cuffs covered in sand, the shape of his lower body faintly visible through the fabric.
Yan Xiaodao took one look and immediately turned toward the seagulls instead. They were in public, after all. Still, he had to admit that none of the food Mr. Ling ate had gone to waste. A boy raised on milk, beef, and butter had developed remarkably well. Yan had already noticed that day in the hotel bathroom when he taught the inexperienced brat how to pleasure himself…
That evening, Ling He told Xiaodao he needed to make a sudden trip. He had booked a red-eye flight and would be gone only a day and a night.
“Where?” Yan Xiaodao asked, slightly puzzled. “Want me to go with you?”
Ling He’s expression shifted. He rejected the idea immediately. “No. I’m going alone. Wait at home, and don’t you dare sneak away while I’m gone!”
Yan Xiaodao genuinely had no intention of fleeing. He shot back, “If I want to leave, I’ll walk openly through your front door right in front of you. I don’t do cowardly disappearing acts.”
Ling He had been struck in a sore spot and looked somewhat embarrassed. He pointed indignantly at Yan Xiaodao. “While I’m away, not one person in this house knows how to cook. Mr. Yan, please enjoy all the takeout and boxed meals your heart desires!”
Yan Xiaodao immediately pieced together an exaggerated expression of remorse, clutched his stomach theatrically, and collapsed backward onto the sofa. Ling He truly had spoiled his appetite. At this point, returning to takeout and boxed meals had become unbearable. Once one had known luxury, returning to frugality was difficult indeed.
He watched the proud rooster Ling strut away before him with his tail held high in triumph.
At the time, Yan Xiaodao had no idea where Ling He was going. He could never have guessed.