When Mai Ding woke, the dream had been so ordinary that it gradually faded from memory. It was the weekend, so An Zi Yan did not have work and was still asleep. Mai Ding sat up and looked down at his sleeping face. Should he ask? Why did you pretend not to know me in front of everyone? But if he asked the question, did he truly want to hear the answer?
Perhaps sensing Mai Ding’s gaze, An Zi Yan cracked his eyes open, then closed them again. “Take off your ring tomorrow.” Mai Ding knew exactly which ring he meant. Their wedding ring. Mai Ding stood up from the bed, pulled it off, and threw it hard against the back of An Zi Yan’s hand. “Here! Should I move out tomorrow too?” His shout rang through the bedroom. An Zi Yan opened his eyes again and saw Mai Ding’s scrunched-up face. His lips were pressed tight as he struggled not to cry. Propping himself up with one hand, An Zi Yan sat. “What’s wrong with you?”
He actually had the nerve to ask that. What was wrong with Mai Ding? He did not know?
“I’m leaving. I’m leaving right now! I’m leaving you! I mean it!” Mai Ding threw out the harsh words to lessen the humiliation of being abandoned. Without waiting for An Zi Yan to speak, he turned to get off the bed, only to be yanked backward by a sudden force and dropped face-first onto the mattress. An Zi Yan sat on his lower back and pulled both of Mai Ding’s arms behind him so he could not move. Mai Ding had wanted to make a graceful exit, but now he looked more pathetic than ever, like a criminal caught by the police.
“Who cares whether you mean it? I never gave you permission to leave me.” An Zi Yan tightened his grip.
“Let go of me.”
“I can let go. First answer me. Are you leaving me?” When Mai Ding refused to answer, An Zi Yan frowned. “Do you have to make me angry?”
“I make you angry? You’ve got the nerve to say that? You’re lucky I didn’t go to the kitchen, grab a chopstick, and stab you to death with it. Just wait. You wait. I’m going to, I’m going to…” Mai Ding grew angrier the more he spoke. His threats sounded impressive, but no matter how hard he struggled, he remained stuck in the humiliating position. Once An Zi Yan finally released him, Mai Ding scrambled up and glared at him while An Zi Yan folded his arms, apparently waiting for the explanation. “Fine, you don’t want me looking for a job outside. I can even let that go. Fine, you pretended not to know me in front of your coworkers. I can even let that go. But now you’re actually telling me to take off my wedding ring. Why go through all this roundabout nonsense? If you want a divorce, just say it!”
Only now did An Zi Yan’s expression suggest that he finally understood what Mai Ding had been angry about. Unhurried, he said, “First, if I wanted a divorce, I really would say it directly.” Mai Ding had expected An Zi Yan to realize his mistake and apologize. Instead, this was what he got. He opened his mouth, but An Zi Yan continued. “Second, I really don’t want you working somewhere else. I’d rather have you work beside me. Then I can worry less.” Mai Ding froze. “How could I possibly get into your company?”
“That’s why we’ll use a few tricks.”
“What tricks?”
“Cheating.”
“Then why did you pretend you didn’t know me in front of your coworkers?” The moment Mai Ding asked, understanding hit him. If they were going to cheat, they obviously could not make it too blatant. Who introduced their cheating partner to the teacher before an exam? An Zi Yan could not be bothered to answer. He waved one finger to indicate that Mai Ding should move on to the next question. “Even so, why do I have to take off the wedding ring?”
“Company rule. Relationships between coworkers in the same department are forbidden.”
Everything finally made sense, but Mai Ding was still angry. “You could have told me! You just wanted to treat me like an idiot and play with me!”
“I told you several times.”
“When? Tell me when!”
“I told you to wait. Yesterday I explicitly hinted that pretending not to know you was fake. And before I was sure it would work, I didn’t want to give you too much hope.” An Zi Yan looked completely convinced that he was in the right. Mai Ding thought back. He really had said things like “wait a little longer” and “fake.”
“Who could possibly understand that?! How hard is it to explain properly?!” Seeing Mai Ding red-faced and flailing, An Zi Yan turned his head away.
“What’s that supposed to mean?! What are you laughing at?! What gives you the right to laugh?! You’re making fun of my feelings!”
“That’s why I also hinted that you should raise your IQ. And last night I asked whether you’d figured it out. You said you had.”
“We weren’t even talking about the same thing!” Mai Ding shouted in fury.
“Then what were you talking about?”
“If I explain it now, I’ll just sound even stupider! And why are you suddenly so sure you can tell me? You only just joined the company. There’s no way I can get in through your connections. Did you sleep with your boss, or kidnap his family and threaten him or something?” Mai Ding thought An Zi Yan was wasting his effort and being far too naive. This was not school. Things could not simply bend to his will. An Zi Yan started getting dressed. Pulling a T-shirt over his head, he said, “Didn’t I tell you? I got promoted yesterday.”
“You did not! And how is that even possible? Who do you think you are? You’ve been there a month and already got promoted. Are you the Jade Emperor’s secret son?” Compared with Mai Ding’s agitation, An Zi Yan hardly reacted. He zipped his trousers. “Little things like this only take a few tricks.”
“Where do you keep getting all these tricks from?!”
“First I found a superior I didn’t like and dug up some dirty things about him. Then those things accidentally got discovered, and he accidentally got fired. After that I forced Bai Xiao Si, Zhou Ge, and my sister to have each of their companies sign a big contract through me, fooled the idiots above into thinking I’m very capable, and that was more or less it.” He explained everything calmly and carelessly. Mai Ding stared at him in horror. He had almost forgotten just how evil his own husband could be. Mai Ding could no longer tell whether An Zi Yan’s friends or An Zi Yan’s company were the more unfortunate party.
After receiving too much information at once, Mai Ding rubbed his chin and began sorting through it point by point. Ten minutes later, he paced around the living room. “No! My noble character would never allow me to do something this despicable. Not only would I be cheating my way into the company, I’d also have to pretend not to be familiar with you at work. Wouldn’t that, wouldn’t that basically be having an affair?” An Zi Yan sat on the sofa holding coffee and teased him with a wicked expression. “Wouldn’t that be exciting?” Mai Ding knew that look far too well. An Zi Yan seemed to have already begun planning all kinds of indecent things.
“What are you acting like a hooligan for? You only want to get me into the company because you want the thrill of sneaking around, don’t you?!” Mai Ding pointed at him. An Zi Yan only shrugged noncommittally. “I absolutely, absolutely refuse to sink to your level. A huge part of this household has already fallen into depravity. I need to hold up the righteous, respectable side.”
“Oh, please. That final exam that one time, the role you wanted in the school play, the reason you managed to become Academic Representative…” An Zi Yan was about to list even more examples when the mortified and ashamed Mai Ding rushed forward and covered his mouth. Mai Ding knew better than anyone that every one of those things had been achieved through cheating or some other improper method. As someone who constantly lectured and educated An Zi Yan, the last thing Mai Ding wanted was to hear An Zi Yan say it aloud.
Mai Ding could not argue another word.
This household had completely fallen into depravity.
Mai Ding finally ran out of strength. His tense body deflated. There was no point saying anything else. How much effort had An Zi Yan secretly put in for him? How many things had he done? There was no way An Zi Yan would ever say. Every time he was finally forced to explain, he always brushed it off as though it were effortless and ordinary. That was An Zi Yan’s way. That was An Zi Yan, just as Mai Ding could never stop himself from imagining terrible possibilities and worrying over nothing.
Maybe it was not that neither of them could change. Maybe neither of them wanted the other to change for their sake.
They had fallen for each other exactly as they were.
If Mai Ding wanted to blame An Zi Yan for this, then perhaps he should also blame himself for not trusting him enough. An Zi Yan’s personality, Mai Ding’s personality, hadn’t they known them from the beginning? Sigh. There were far too many things in life that were easy to say and incredibly hard to do.