The two of them kept walking along the little street until they reached a T-intersection, where Shao Wu saw a blue street sign: Songji Street.
Songji was a town under Yongchuan’s jurisdiction. Shao Wu had gone there once when he was little because his dad had to make a work visit to the countryside and every relative happened to be busy, so he had no choice but to bring Shao Wu along. Songji Street. At least the name was easy to remember.
Elio’s Notes: Songji is written 松溉. In this Yongchuan place name, 溉 is locally pronounced jì rather than the standard gài, so the name is rendered Songji, not Songgai.
Yang Shuyi stopped in front of Xiao Lu Malatang. “This place. I’ve been eating here since I was little.”
“Is it good?”
“I think it’s pretty good, and they stay open over New Year.” Yang Shuyi pushed the door open as he spoke. The owner was a middle-aged man whose hair was half black and half gray. The moment he saw Yang Shuyi, he called out loudly, “Little Yang! Hey, you brought a classmate too?”
Yang Shuyi smiled and answered, “Mm, my classmate.”
They each picked out their ingredients and had them weighed. Shao Wu rushed to pay first. Yang Shuyi looked at him helplessly. “I’ve noticed you’re strangely persistent when it comes to food.”
Shao Wu pretended not to understand. “Huh?”
“You’re always buying me things to eat.” Yang Shuyi smiled. “Worried I won’t eat enough and stop growing?”
“Not exactly,” Shao Wu muttered. “You’re already tall enough.” Much taller than him.
Yang Shuyi was still quite modest. “I’m average.”
When it came to height, Shao Wu really was a little anxious. He and Yang Shuyi were both seventeen, both grew up eating rice and drinking water, so how had Yang Shuyi ended up a whole head taller than him? Fine, it really did have something to do with genetics. Yang Shuyi’s dad was a very tall man, while Shao Wu’s dad… forget it. Shao Wu silently comforted himself that Sichuan men tended to be on the shorter side anyway. His height counted as average.
The owner soon brought over their malatang, a bright-red bowl that looked appetizing and gave off the rich aroma of beef tallow. Yang Shuyi handed Shao Wu a pair of chopsticks. “What are you thinking about?”
“I was thinking your dad is so tall, so you’re tall too.”
Yang Shuyi nodded. “Actually, my dad used to be a little taller. His lower back hasn’t been very good these past two years, so he’s started hunching a bit. Occupational problem.”
“Huh? What kind of occupational problem?”
“People like him who do long-haul driving sit for more than ten hours at a stretch. Their backs all end up with problems.”
“Oh… that sounds exhausting.”
Yang Shuyi gave an “Mm” and did not say anything else.
Shao Wu picked up a slice of fatty beef and put it into his mouth. The beef-tallow fragrance was rich, and the meat was soft and tender. It was not often that he got an opportunity like this, with only the two of them in the little malatang shop, so he could not resist saying, “Once this summer is over, we’ll be in our third year.”
Yang Shuyi said, “Mm.”
“…What are you planning to do?”
Yang Shuyi glanced up at Shao Wu. He knew perfectly well what Shao Wu meant, but seemed to want to avoid it. “Planning to do about what?”
“Whether you’re going to university.”
“Grandpa and Grandma, and my dad too, have all said they hope I’ll go to university.” Yang Shuyi tightened his grip on his chopsticks and stared into the bowl in front of him. “But you’ve seen what my family is like. Grandpa, Grandma, Auntie Xiaojuan, Longlong, they all depend on my dad alone to support them. Where are they supposed to get the money for me to go to university? Borrow it? I don’t see the point of going to university just to end up buried in debt.”
“Doesn’t Auntie Xiaojuan work?”
“She used to pick up odd jobs at a service station. After she came to Yongchuan, she stopped working. Staying home means she can help look after Longlong and Grandpa and Grandma too.” Yang Shuyi smiled, his tone light. “I actually asked around. Some vocational schools have work-study programs now. You can study while doing internships and start earning money at the same time. I think learning a trade would be pretty good too.”
He had an answer for everything.
Shao Wu’s Adam’s apple moved. In the end, he said somewhat dejectedly, “When your dad married Auntie Xiaojuan, didn’t he think about you?” He knew he should not really say that. Yang Shuyi’s father was still his father, Auntie Xiaojuan was a good person, and Shao Wu had only just been warmly entertained by their family. But weighed against Yang Shuyi’s future, none of that could stop resentment from rising in Shao Wu.
Yang Shuyi remained completely calm, without the slightest trace of anger, and even his tone did not change. “That’s just what my dad is like. How do I put it… he likes enjoying himself. Or maybe he’s just carefree. Like that night you went to the hospital to see Grandma. You know, he went out drinking with his friends.”
Shao Wu nodded silently.
“My mom used to say he didn’t care about the family. That’s basically what she meant,” Yang Shuyi said. “I never planned on relying on him anyway. And the student loans you mentioned, I know you’re worried about me, but think about it. With grades like mine, I’d get into some second- or third-batch university and then take on that much debt. What for?”
Shao Wu bit into a beef ball. Suddenly it no longer tasted good. There was a bitterness to it.
In that instant, Shao Wu almost hated Yang Shuyi’s father. Why would he not think about his own son’s future? But there were too many regrettable things in the world, and it did not seem to be Shao Wu’s place to hate him when Yang Shuyi himself had long since learned not to care. Besides, in Sichuan and Chongqing, people like Yang Shuyi’s father were not especially rare. Shao Wu had heard his family mention plenty of them: old classmates, relatives, or people they knew who smoked cigarettes costing dozens of yuan a pack, were already in their thirties or forties without a proper job, never looked after their children, and spent every day playing mahjong. Shao Wu did not understand how people like that managed to live, but they certainly existed: selfish, pleasure-seeking, fond of an easy life. By comparison, Yang Shuyi’s father was already pretty decent.
People said, “The young shouldn’t enter Sichuan, and the old shouldn’t leave it.” Shao Wu thought gloomily, was this kind of atmosphere really something to be proud of? It would take many years, after he had left Yongchuan, traveled to many places, and met countless Sichuan people who struggled far from home, built lives from nothing, endured hardship, and still laughed through it all without losing their optimism, before he suddenly understood what kind of resilience could exist on the other side of that love of comfort: the ability to find joy even in bitterness.
“You’re at least going to finish high school, right?” Shao Wu asked awkwardly.
Yang Shuyi smiled. “Of course. Otherwise, wouldn’t this study group have been a complete waste?” He said it lightly, as though deliberately trying to cheer Shao Wu up.
Shao Wu could not cheer up. He thought university was important. At the very least, it seemed like the natural thing to do. After so many years of school and so many problems worked through, what else were you supposed to do if not take the university entrance exam? But beyond that, he could not come up with any other reason to persuade Yang Shuyi. His world was too simple, so simple that those practical, utilitarian reasons did not feel like reasons at all.
Neither of them spoke again. They each ate their own malatang, and in less than twenty minutes, both bowls were empty.
“I’ll take you to the bus stop,” Yang Shuyi said.
“Mm.”
Yang Shuyi led Shao Wu along a shortcut. Halfway there, a fine drizzle began to fall, common enough during winter in Yongchuan. The rain was soft and unending, soaking the air with cold. Fortunately, they had just eaten a huge bowl of malatang. With his stomach warm, the rest of him did not feel cold either.
They quickened their pace and remained silent the whole way. When they reached the stop, Shao Wu said quietly, “Why don’t you head back first, while the rain is still light?”
“I’ll see you onto the bus.”
The bus shelter kept the rain off. The two of them stood side by side beneath it, staring absently at the streetlight across the road. It was fully dark now, and the fine rain wrapped around the orange-yellow light like the wrapper around an original-flavor Alpenliebe hard candy, the kind the school had handed out at the New Year party.
Shao Wu desperately wanted school to start already. It was already the fifteenth day of the first lunar month. Forget the sweet rice dumplings, just let school start. On the other hand, he almost wished time would slow down, then slow down even more. They still had a full year and a half of high school left, but what happened after that? Where would he be? Where would Yang Shuyi be? Thinking about it made Shao Wu wish he could stay in his second year forever.
“If there are any problems you don’t know how to do, you can call me,” Shao Wu said, even though he knew perfectly well Yang Shuyi probably would not.
“Can I only ask about problems?”
“Huh?”
“What a good student.” Yang Shuyi patted his shoulder helplessly. “Your bus is here. See you when school starts.”
“…”
Shao Wu got onto the bus. Then the meaning finally clicked, and he hurriedly pulled open the window and shouted at Yang Shuyi, “We can chat too!”
The night was blurry with rain. Shao Wu saw Yang Shuyi’s lips move, and then he seemed to smile. Shao Wu felt both disappointed and bewildered, with no idea what Yang Shuyi was smiling about.
When Shao Wu got home, he took a shower and then noticed a missed call on his phone. It was from Yang Shuyi’s home landline.
He hurriedly called back and heard Yang Shuyi’s smiling voice. “I knew it was you.”
“…Is there a problem you don’t know how to do?”
“Can I only ask about problems?”
Why was he making Shao Wu say it again? It was almost as though he were deliberately teasing a girl. Shao Wu pressed his lips together. “If you want to chat, that’s fine too.”
Yang Shuyi burst out laughing and said with a slightly impish air, “What I meant was, I want to copy your homework. Is that okay?”
Shao Wu’s cheeks instantly grew hot.
“Y-yeah. That’s okay too.” So back at the bus stop, Yang Shuyi had been laughing because Shao Wu had read too much into it.
The next second, Yang Shuyi said gently, “After I copy it, we can chat for a bit while we’re at it.”