“Since the two of you have come visiting so late at night, why hurry to leave?” A clear male voice suddenly rang out. With it came waves of strange fragrance, and the towering peonies rustled all around them, sounding at once like wailing ghosts and crying infants.
Yue Jingming stopped. “We intruded without permission. I hope the hosts will forgive us.”
The man laughed. “You, at least, are quite a courteous young gentleman.”
“He’s courteous. You’re not.” Xiao Chunhe deliberately roughened his voice and sneered, “If you really understood courtesy, you wouldn’t hide your head and show your tail.”
He sounded completely righteous, as though he were not the one who had broken into another person’s home in the middle of the night and been caught red-handed.
A moment later, a figure actually stepped from among the flowers. He wore moon-white robes and looked no older than his early twenties, with elegant brows and almond-shaped eyes that made him quite handsome. He bowed to them. “This humble one is Zheng Bing. My respects.”
A sweet young woman’s voice came from above. Yue Jingming and Xiao Chunhe looked up and saw a girl sitting atop a towering peony, swinging two snow-white legs as she smiled charmingly. “This humble woman is Zheng Han. Would the two gentlemen care to stay for a cup of simple wine?”
“No need for the wine.” Xiao Chunhe answered in his roughened voice and tugged Yue Jingming toward the exit.
“Our household may be modest, but it is not a place where people may come and go whenever they please.” Zheng Han swung her legs. A huge, fluffy white tail emerged behind her, while a fox’s features flickered across her pretty face. “Why don’t you remove your masks? If you’re handsome enough, perhaps you can still leave tonight with your lives.”
Zheng Bing said, “Sister, don’t waste words on them. We may not be able to eat these two, but burying them as flower fertilizer would still keep them from going to waste.”
The fox siblings echoed one another so thoughtfully that they even chose the graves for their guests.
“Bury one on the east side and the other on the west,” Zheng Han said. “The flowers in those two corners aren’t growing very well.”
Xiao Chunhe flew into a rage. “Why are you burying us in two different places? How are we supposed to talk to each other then?”
Zheng Han snapped, “It’s my house. I’ll bury you however I like! Since you’re so uncooperative, I’ll bury you first and let him talk only to me!”
“Is this even your house to be burying people in?” Xiao Chunhe pointed at her and cursed. “You vicious fox spirit! You borrowed a human body and still only managed to cultivate two tails. Where do you get the nerve to be this arrogant?”
With her true nature exposed, Zheng Han’s gaze sharpened and she launched herself at Xiao Chunhe.
Yue Jingming drew his horsetail whisk and lashed it at her, making black smoke immediately rise from Zheng Han’s forearm with a sizzling sound as the flesh split open; seeing his sister injured, Zheng Bing wrinkled his nose, bared his teeth, glared viciously, and curved his five fingers into claws as he swiped for Yue Jingming.
The horsetail whisk wrapped around one of Zheng Bing’s claws. Zheng Bing slashed toward Yue Jingming’s throat with the other, but Yue Jingming raised a hand to block it, caught the vital point at his wrist, then loosened the whisk with his other hand and made a grasping motion toward the back of Zheng Bing’s neck. He barked, “Get out!”
Zheng Han’s eyes stretched wide with fury. She threw back her head and gave a pained shriek, while a fox as tall as a person flickered indistinctly over Zheng Bing’s body.
Elio’s Notes: The raw names Zheng Han as the one crying out here, while the fox is shown flickering over the male body Yue Jingming is restraining, Zheng Bing. The source wording is internally awkward, so the translation preserves both cues rather than silently changing the character name.
To avoid injuring Zheng Bing’s human body, Yue Jingming used the horsetail whisk to bind Zheng Han’s hands and feet, then summoned a lightning talisman and sent it straight at the fox spirit inside Zheng Bing.
“Brother!” Zheng Han rushed to save him, only for a folding fan to bar her way.
Xiao Chunhe snapped the fan shut against his palm and gloated, “Hahaha! Serves you right! You’re finished now, aren’t you?”
Thoroughly enraged, Zheng Han arched her back and pounced. Her blood-red mouth split all the way to her ears, and her icy teeth ground together with a dreadful sound.
“Aah!” Xiao Chunhe shrieked and dodged aside, leaving her to hit empty air and bite a mouthful of dirt.
“Aaaaaah!” Xiao Chunhe let out an even more miserable scream, clutched his fan, and bolted.
Zheng Han roared, “I didn’t even bite you! What are you screaming for?!”
“Am I not allowed to be scared?” Xiao Chunhe shouted with tears in his voice. “You’re too ugly! Far too ugly! The moment I imagine dying at the hands of an ugly demon like you, I don’t want to live anymore!”
Zheng Han’s fur bristled with rage, but Xiao Chunhe abruptly changed direction and came face-to-face with her, and before she could react, the man who had been screaming his head off seized the fan handle in both hands and brought it down viciously on her forehead.
With a poof, a huge glossy white fox rolled straight out of the woman’s body, an enormous lump already swelling on its forehead.
“A FOX DEMON!!!” Xiao Chunhe screamed miserably, then scrambled onto Yue Jingming’s back using all four limbs. Both arms locked around Yue Jingming’s neck while his legs clamped firmly around his waist.
Yue Jingming, who was in the middle of fighting Zheng Bing: “…”
Zheng Bing had not yet been forced out of his human body, but he was badly injured. Seeing his sister beaten into her original form, he hastily scooped the white fox from the ground and glared viciously at Yue Jingming and Xiao Chunhe. “My sister and I have no grievance or enmity with you, yet you insist on exterminating us. Since that’s the case, don’t blame me for showing no mercy!”
Yue Jingming’s gaze chilled and his hand rose toward his sword, but the man on his back clung even tighter and burrowed his head straight into the hollow of Yue Jingming’s neck. Yue Jingming’s breathing faltered for an instant, and in that instant the fox siblings vanished into the peony thicket.
Immediately afterward, dozens of white foxes of every size dropped from above, yowling as they clawed, tugged, and shoved at them, completely blocking Yue Jingming’s path.
“So annoying!” Xiao Chunhe suddenly raised his head and bared his teeth.
The entire pack of white foxes scattered in panic.
One little fat fox had legs too short to keep up. It tripped, knocked out a tooth, covered its mouth, and rolled crying into the flowers.
Xiao Chunhe: “…”
“Get down,” Yue Jingming said.
Xiao Chunhe jumped off him with obvious reluctance. He stared hard at Yue Jingming for a while as though washing his eyes clean, then cupped his hands. “Forgive me, Brother Su. I was simply terrified.”
Yue Jingming silently circulated his Heart Method. White light flashed before his eyes, but the person in front of him remained entirely unchanged, a clean and unmistakably human body. Yue Jingming asked, “If you can knock a fox demon straight out of a body with one blow, why are you so afraid?”
“Master did teach me a few techniques, but I was born timid and startle very easily.” Xiao Chunhe drooped miserably. “The worst part is that I can see these things. Sometimes I get frightened unconscious several times in one night, and Master still used to praise me for sleeping so soundly.”
Yue Jingming: “…”
“If you want to laugh, then laugh.” Xiao Chunhe sighed.
Yue Jingming hid the almost imperceptible smile in his eyes. Xiao Chunhe glanced at his neck and worriedly reached for his collar. “I didn’t strangle you just now, did I?”
“I’m fine.” Yue Jingming blocked his hand. “First, we find a way out.”
“What if those fox siblings escape?” Xiao Chunhe’s brows lifted.
“They cannot,” Yue Jingming said calmly.
He did not explain why and Xiao Chunhe did not ask, merely lifting his sleeve to his nose and sniffing it, where sure enough quite a bit of pine fragrance had rubbed onto the fabric.
Yue Jingming asked, “Did you discover something?”
Standing among the flowers with his sleeves gathered, Xiao Chunhe smiled slyly. “No wonder everyone loves a gentleman. The fragrance of a gentleman truly refreshes the heart.”
Yue Jingming was long accustomed to his remarks jumping from east to west, so he did not react. He simply helped the unconscious Zheng Han upright from the ground and struck her Baihui acupoint three times.
Zheng Han sucked in a sharp breath and opened her eyes. The first thing she said to Yue Jingming was, “Daddy.”
Yue Jingming said, “Miss Zheng, you have mistaken me for someone else.”
“Hahaha, he can’t be your daddy. He’s never marrying in his life.” Xiao Chunhe crouched beside her and smiled. “Good girl, do you know who you are?”
Zheng Han turned to him. “Daddy.”
The smile on Xiao Chunhe’s face froze. “You mustn’t call people that at random. I’m such a pure and self-respecting man. If you ruin my reputation for no reason, how am I supposed to marry my wife later?”
Zheng Han seemed to understand. She turned toward a peony and called, “Daddy.”
Xiao Chunhe looked at Yue Jingming. “What’s wrong with her?”
Yue Jingming took Zheng Han’s pulse. After a moment, he said, “She was very young when the fox demon possessed her. Her heart channels are now severely damaged, and her mind is incomplete.”
“Heavens, doesn’t that mean she’s become a fool?” Xiao Chunhe looked genuinely distressed, then ground his teeth. “That fox demon has committed far too much evil!”
The Huangliang Formation remained intact. The peonies blotted out the sky and hid every path, leaving the three of them like tiny insects lost among the flowers, unable to find their way out for a long time.
The sun rose higher, and although no sunlight penetrated beneath the flowers, the air around them grew hotter and hotter as though they were trapped inside a fire, until Zheng Han could no longer bear it and tried to take off her clothes, so Yue Jingming tied her up securely with the horsetail whisk.
Sweat ran from Yue Jingming’s temples and dripped onto the enormous leaves, his robes already soaked through as he turned toward Xiao Chunhe, who had stripped down to his inner robe, and frowned.
Xiao Chunhe silently lowered the hand at his collar and gave a dry laugh. “We’re both men. Would it really matter if we both took everything off?”
Yue Jingming said heavily, “Miss Zheng is here. It would be improper.”
Xiao Chunhe was nearly driven insane by the heat and fanned himself furiously. “Miss Zheng’s mind is impaired. She won’t care.”
“All the more reason for you and me to observe propriety,” Yue Jingming said.
“…Wow.” Xiao Chunhe laughed through clenched teeth and clapped hard. “At last I understand why everyone also hates gentlemen. What a magnificent, hidebound blockhead you are!”
Yue Jingming saw him drenched in sweat and flushed scarlet, looking even more miserable than Zheng Han. Figuring that he truly could not bear the heat, Yue Jingming handed him the Clear Breeze Sword.
Xiao Chunhe smiled without warmth. “Fine, fine, fine. Rather than let me roast to death in these flowers, you’d rather I finish myself with one sword, right? I’ll go become flower fertilizer at once!”
He appeared to have been cooked senseless by the heat.
Yue Jingming shoved the sword into his arms, then placed a talisman on Zheng Han’s back. “All of this is an illusion. Do not let the heat disturb you. Clear your heart and keep your thoughts upright.”
The Clear Breeze Sword was cool in Xiao Chunhe’s arms, faintly giving off a chilly current that immediately soothed the scorching discomfort in his body. Looking at Zheng Han, he saw that the talisman must have taken effect as well, because she had stopped struggling.
Then he looked at Yue Jingming, whose clothes were soaked through, whose temples were wet, and whose nape was damp, making it plain that both the sword cooling Xiao Chunhe and the talisman cooling Zheng Han were being sustained by Yue Jingming’s spiritual power.
For Xiao Chunhe, that was one thing, since he and the handsome Daoist had gone through life and death together, opened their hearts to each other, and were practically inseparable, so naturally the Daoist would favor him, but Zheng Han was nothing more than a stranger and this Daoist was actually willing to exhaust himself saving her too.
“Feeling better?” Yue Jingming slowed his pace to wait for him.
“Mm.” Xiao Chunhe hugged the sword and narrowed his eyes as an extraordinary amount of displeasure suddenly rose in his heart.
His wife was wonderful, certainly, but being wonderful to everyone was extremely inappropriate, and as Xiao Chunhe stared at him he grew increasingly tormented by the outrageous fact that such a fine gentleman could not be kept all to himself.
The heavens were unjust!
He walked forward, squeezed himself between Zheng Han and Yue Jingming, and listlessly leaned against Yue Jingming. “Brother Su, I can barely breathe. Help me walk.”
The moment he leaned over, Yue Jingming felt even hotter, but seeing Xiao Chunhe breathing out more than he breathed in, Yue Jingming ultimately did not push him away. He caught Xiao Chunhe’s arm, draped it over his own neck, and supported him as they continued forward. “Endure for the time it takes one incense stick to burn. Then I can break the formation.”
“Mm.” Xiao Chunhe rested his head on Yue Jingming’s shoulder, secretly curling his lips into a smile in the shadows.
Hehe.