Yang Shuyi put down his chopsticks.
He wrapped both hands tightly around Shao Wu’s and rubbed them back and forth.
There were tiny calluses on Yang Shuyi’s palms.
They scraped lightly across the back of Shao Wu’s hand, leaving a faintly ticklish sensation.
Shao Wu’s mind went completely blank.
He had never imagined Yang Shuyi would do something like this.
Yang Shuyi, meanwhile, acted as though nothing unusual was happening.
“Why don’t you wear gloves? Aren’t you cold?”
As he spoke, he rubbed harder.
Heat spread from Shao Wu’s palm all the way to his cheeks.
He felt like a piece of Want Want milk candy dropped into boiling water.
“Hmm?”
Yang Shuyi lowered his head slightly.
His tone suddenly became serious.
“Do you have a fever?”
“No…”
“Then why is your face so red?”
“Hey! Shao Wu’s blushing!”
Shen Qi had leaned over too, her trained singer’s voice ringing loudly and clearly across the room.
“Yang Shuyi, are you flirting with Little Shao?”
That would have been bad enough.
But once she shouted it, everyone nearby turned around.
Shao Wu’s face grew even hotter.
He wanted to dig a crack in the floor and disappear into it.
“What flirting?”
Yang Shuyi said calmly.
“His hand was frozen. I’m warming it up.”
Another girl laughed.
“Shao Wu is so obedient. He just stood there and let you rub his hand.”
Shao Wu: “…”
Yang Shuyi rubbed a few more times before letting go.
“There. Wear gloves when you ride your bike.”
“I was in a hurry today and forgot.”
Shao Wu’s voice was barely louder than a mosquito.
“Remember to finish that essay.”
He returned to his seat.
His face remained bright red throughout the entire morning self-study period.
Actually, this sort of thing was not unusual between boys.
Two boys who were close friends might roughhouse with one sitting on the other’s lap.
If the girls egged them on enough, they might even kiss as a joke.
Only after growing up did Shao Wu understand that most same-sex intimacy during adolescence had nothing to do with romantic feelings.
Of course it didn’t.
Most boys were straight.
They were simply teenagers overflowing with energy, suffocating beneath schoolwork, with few opportunities for intimacy with the opposite sex.
So some of those impulses spilled out through joking physical affection with friends of the same sex.
And precisely because they were straight, they could behave affectionately without thinking anything of it.
Yang Shuyi did not even fall into that category.
He simply saw Shao Wu as a friend.
He simply thought Shao Wu’s hand was too cold.
He was simply being kind.
Unfortunately, Shao Wu would not understand that until much, much later.
Two classes passed before the heat finally left his cheeks.
But his hand still felt warm.
The rough texture of Yang Shuyi’s palm seemed to remain against his skin.
That year, Lunar New Year came late.
Winter vacation would not begin until February.
So as New Year’s Day approached, the class had not yet entered the usual panic of looming final exams.
Their class monitor mysteriously announced that the school had bought every class four crates of sweet tangerines, two crates of apples, and all kinds of candy.
The New Year’s party was still a week away.
Yet everyone was already restless with excitement.
Especially in a humanities class like theirs.
The special-admission students hardly needed encouragement.
The vocal students were preparing songs.
The dance students were rehearsing dances.
Even Zhu Jingjing, a sports-track student specializing in long-distance running, had been dragged into a comedy skit by one of the art students.
Zhu Jingjing coaxed Shao Wu.
“You and Sister Shan can provide the music for us. Just sing a little bit!”
Shao Wu initially refused.
After two days of shameless pleading, he finally gave in.
Apparently Zhu Jingjing somehow persuaded Sister Shan too.
So at the New Year’s party, Shao Wu really was going to sing with their English teacher.
The skit was a comedy.
In one scene, the male lead confessed to the female lead and was rejected.
The plot was painfully clichéd, but the exaggerated dialogue and acting made it funny.
During that rejection scene, Shao Wu and Sister Shan would sing part of Li Shengjie’s “Absolutely Devoted.”
The melody was catchy and not difficult.
After practicing it several times, Shao Wu knew it well.
During the nights leading up to the party, as he and Yang Shuyi walked from the classroom toward the school gates, Shao Wu would quietly hum the tune.
Yang Shuyi told him,
“You sing pretty well.”
Shao Wu became embarrassed.
“I’ll just sing casually when the time comes.”
That was what he said.
But when the party finally arrived, Shao Wu still put on the new gray plaid coat he had bought.
Gray made his complexion look even fairer.
The cut of the coat made him look tall and straight.
Zhu Jingjing covered her mouth and shrieked.
“You dress like that and nobody’s going to look at the actors!”
Shao Wu awkwardly said,
“Then maybe I shouldn’t wear it…”
“No, no, no!”
Zhu Jingjing immediately grabbed his hand.
“Wear this one! This one looks great!”
Zhou Lei, the art-track student sitting in front of him, turned around and pinched Shao Wu’s collar.
“Where’d you buy this? I’m going to try one on tomorrow.”
His deskmate, class monitor Han Huiyuan, rolled her eyes.
“The point isn’t the coat. It’s the person wearing it, okay?!”
Everyone nearby burst out laughing.
Every desk was piled with sweet tangerines.
One apple.
And handfuls of Alpenliebe candies.
After several months of rotating seats, Yang Shuyi now sat diagonally in front of Shao Wu.
Shao Wu only had to lift his eyes to see his back.
Yang Shuyi was slumped over his desk.
Shao Wu could not tell whether he was asleep.
It was almost as though the laughter and excitement of the entire class had nothing to do with him.
At three in the afternoon, the party officially began.
Their homeroom teacher gave a short speech.
The basic message was that a new year was coming and everyone should study even harder.
He was talking about studying, but he looked positively festive himself.
Clearly, he was excited too.
The first performance was a duet.
Shen Qi and Wang Yiheng, both vocal students, sang together.
According to classroom gossip, Wang Yiheng had been secretly in love with Shen Qi for a long time.
They performed Jay Chou’s “Qilixiang.”
The moment they started, the entire class erupted into teasing.
Shen Qi’s face grew redder and redder as she sang.
Shao Wu barely joined in.
He was silently repeating the lyrics to “Absolutely Devoted” over and over.
Their skit was next.
When the duet ended, the classroom exploded with applause and screams.
The entire school seemed to be boiling with excitement, every class seemingly determined to be louder than the others.
Shao Wu adjusted his collar.
He was already waiting outside the classroom.
Sister Shan had clearly dressed up for the occasion too.
She wore a soft lake-blue cashmere coat with an ivory skirt, black leather ankle boots, and pale rose lipstick.
“Nervous?” she asked with a smile. “I’m kind of nervous. Apparently I’m the only teacher performing today! Teacher Dong lied and told me he was performing too.”
Shao Wu smiled and rubbed his face.
“I’m… okay.”
But when he actually stepped into the middle of the classroom, his entire body stiffened.
He had no idea where to look.
Straight ahead?
Then he would be staring at Zhou Lei, who was deliberately making ridiculous faces to make him laugh.
To the left?
Their homeroom teacher stood there with folded arms, looking benevolent.
To the right?
Wang Yiheng and Shen Qi were stuffing themselves with tangerines, their cheeks bulging.
“We’re almost up,” Sister Shan whispered.
“Ah. Okay.”
Then Zhu Jingjing shouted from the skit,
“Why don’t you look at yourself? You look like some kind of mascot!”
Shao Wu and Sister Shan began to sing.
The song’s lyrics dwelled on loving someone wholeheartedly, enduring the hurt, and still being unable to change the other person’s resolve.
Shao Wu’s gaze wandered.
And inevitably…
It settled on Yang Shuyi.
Yang Shuyi had his head lowered.
Shao Wu could not tell what he was looking at.
Shao Wu could no longer hear his own singing.
Pitch and rhythm disappeared from his mind.
His heart was beating too fast.
His entire field of vision was filled with Yang Shuyi.
Why is this song so long?
He kept staring at Yang Shuyi.
Yang Shuyi never looked up.
Yang Shuyi suddenly stood up.
The classroom was full of laughter and noise.
It seemed as though only Shao Wu was watching him.
Shao Wu watched as Yang Shuyi hurried out of the classroom.
Elio’s Notes: Absolutely Devoted (《痴心绝对》) is a well-known Mandopop song by Li Shengjie. Its lyrics are used here as deliberately painful commentary on Shao Wu’s feelings for Yang Shuyi.