For many mornings afterward, Shao Wu would inevitably remember this one. The cool breeze lightly stirred his hair, loose strands brushing his forehead and making it itch. He stared at Yang Shuyi, at that puzzled yet completely sincere expression, and watched him give that quiet answer: “Mm.”
You think gay people are disgusting too?
…Mm.
Such a soft sound, yet it landed against Shao Wu’s taut heart like a tiny hammer striking a string. The note rang clear, and its echo refused to fade.
Much, much later, Shao Wu would think back on it with bitter amusement. The truth was that, back when neither of them understood homosexuality at all, Yang Shuyi had already stated his opinion perfectly plainly. The problem was precisely that neither of them understood it. Back then, liking someone was vague and indistinct, and so was the pain. Shao Wu spent the entire morning dazed because of that single mm from Yang Shuyi, yet by afternoon he was hovering eagerly beside him again. “Do you understand that analytic-geometry problem now? Want me to explain it again?”
Yang Shuyi answered with the same casual indifference as always. “Sure. Thanks.”
Shao Wu never asked about Wang Yujun again, and Yang Shuyi never brought him up either.
A week later, their homeroom teacher really did start organizing peer-study groups. The main students receiving help were those with special admissions for art, sports, or music. Most of them would have to leave town for intensive professional training during their third year, so their second year was precious time for academic subjects. The homeroom teacher told the special-admission students to find classmates willing to pair with them. The class monitor would compile the list, and once he approved the pairings, they would be official.
Shao Wu had already lied to Yang Shuyi about this, so now he had no choice but to go to the homeroom teacher himself. “Sir, I want to be paired with Yang Shuyi.”
The teacher looked surprised. “Hmm? Did I put Yang Shuyi on my list?” He pulled out a folder and checked. “I didn’t think so. Yang Shuyi isn’t on it. He doesn’t need a study partner.”
“Sir, I know. What I mean is…” Shao Wu paused and guiltily looked away. “I want to help him. He isn’t a special-admission student, but his grades aren’t very good either.” Not very good was putting it mildly. His grades were worse than many of the special-admission students’.
The homeroom teacher looked at Shao Wu without speaking. After quite a while, he sighed. “You and Yang Shuyi are pretty close?”
“Mm… I suppose.” Shao Wu’s heart was pounding.
The teacher made a thoughtful sound and smiled. “That boy Yang Shuyi is a little withdrawn. It’s good that he’s managed to make a friend in class. And yes, his grades are poor. Of course I’d like him to improve. But…” His tone changed.
“Shao Wu, you’re my student too. I’m responsible for you as well, right?”
Shao Wu nodded uncertainly. “Yes.”
“I’ll tell you plainly. Don’t repeat this to anyone.” The teacher lowered his voice. “Yang Shuyi’s family situation isn’t good. He himself doesn’t want to study. We teachers have tried talking to him, but nothing works. He comes from a single-parent household, and we can’t reliably reach either parent. What can we do?”
Shao Wu lowered his eyes and pressed his lips together.
“I know you mean well. You want to help him. But whether helping works depends on whether he wants it. If he fundamentally doesn’t want to study, what can you accomplish no matter how much you help? You’ll only waste your own time. You’re already in second year. I’ve explained during class meetings how important this stage is. You understand that, Shao Wu…”
“Sir.” Shao Wu steeled himself and interrupted. “Yang Shuyi isn’t refusing to study. His attitude is actually pretty good. He just…” He just what? He simply did not care. If Shao Wu explained problems to him, Yang Shuyi listened. If nobody explained anything, Yang Shuyi entertained himself instead. He simply did not care.
“Let me try.” Shao Wu looked at the teacher. “Give me one month. If his grades improve in the next monthly exam and mine don’t drop, then let us continue as a study group. Okay?”
The teacher looked helpless. Eventually, he gave in. “All right. You can try.”
“And could you not tell him about this?” Shao Wu boldly continued. “Just tell him you directly assigned the two of us to the same group.”
The teacher picked up his cup and took a drink. His tone suddenly sounded rather meaningful. “Sure… You’ve really thought this through.”
Shao Wu’s face instantly heated. He hurriedly said goodbye and fled.
At Monday’s class meeting, the homeroom teacher announced the finalized study groups.
Sure enough, Shao Wu and Yang Shuyi were on the list.
“This is a very good opportunity, everyone.” The teacher pointed at the projected list. “If your foundation is weak, use this chance to strengthen it. Questions your teachers don’t have time to explain in class can be brought to your study partner. And those of you with stronger foundations benefit too. Teaching someone else reinforces your own knowledge.”
Shao Wu secretly glanced sideways at Yang Shuyi. Yang Shuyi sat with his head lowered before an empty desk, apparently thinking about nothing in particular. At least he did not dare sleep during class meetings.
“Those of you receiving help need to appreciate this opportunity,” the homeroom teacher continued. “Be grateful, understand? Someone is spending time and effort tutoring you for free. At the very least, say thank you. Buy them some snacks or something!” The whole class burst out laughing. Sitting directly in front of Shao Wu were Zhou Lei, an art-track student, and the class monitor. The two had been paired together. The monitor poked Zhou Lei. “I want Copico.” The homeroom teacher immediately joined in. “Zhou Lei, then buy her a bag of Copico.” Zhou Lei nodded repeatedly. “Fine, fine, fine, Your Highness!” The class laughed even harder.
Through the students leaning this way and that, Shao Wu could not see Yang Shuyi’s expression. Was Yang Shuyi laughing too? Or was he drifting somewhere beyond the classroom as usual?
After the class meeting came evening self-study. During the break, Shao Wu wanted to explain some problems to Yang Shuyi but could not find him.
The next time the bell rang, school was over.
“Want me to explain today’s math homework?” Shao Wu walked over and spoke as calmly as he could. Secretly, he was a little expectant. Would Yang Shuyi sincerely thank him? Shao Wu did not need some grand display of gratitude. He simply thought it would be nice if Yang Shuyi acted a little warmer toward him.
“Sure,” Yang Shuyi said, still as casual as ever. “Thanks.”
Shao Wu could only say, “You’re welcome.” He sat down and took an exercise book from his backpack. “I wrote out the solutions here. Look through them first and tell me which parts you don’t understand.” That evening’s mathematics homework consisted of five longer problems personally selected by Old Chen: three solid-geometry problems and two probability problems. Neither topic belonged among the hardest questions on the gaokao mathematics paper, so Shao Wu did not find them difficult. Still, he had written out every solution in extraordinary detail. Even the auxiliary lines in his diagrams were crisp and clear.
Because Yang Shuyi would be reading them. Shao Wu knew his foundation was poor.
“Here.” Yang Shuyi pointed. “Why aren’t you considering the case where k is negative?”
“Uh, because… look, the problem says the line y = kx + b is tangent to this circle, so…”
Yang Shuyi was actually extremely quick. Once Shao Wu explained a concept to him, he could infer the rest on his own. Shao Wu never needed to explain the same idea twice.
More than twenty minutes later, Yang Shuyi put the exercise book into his bag and left the classroom with Shao Wu.
Almost everyone else had already gone. Only the senior-year building remained brightly lit; the third-year students’ evening self-study lasted until ten-thirty. The air felt heavy and close, as though rain were coming.
Shao Wu wheeled his bicycle out from the bike shed. “You’re going home?”
Yang Shuyi nodded. “Yeah.”
“Then… see you tomorrow.” Shao Wu swung onto the bicycle.
“Shao Wu.” Yang Shuyi unzipped his backpack and reached inside. “Do you like these?”
He pulled out a puffed-up purple bag of Copico potato chips. Jay Chou was printed on the package, giving a thumbs-up. This was 2007. That year, Jay Chou’s song Blue and White Porcelain was everywhere, with its image of sky-blue porcelain waiting beneath misty rain while someone waits for the person they love. And it really was about to rain.
Elio’s Notes: Copico (可比克) is a Chinese potato-chip brand that Jay Chou endorsed around this period. The source explicitly dates this scene to 2007, which conflicts with Chapter 1’s opening line saying 2008; the later school-year chronology supports the 2007 date here.
“I didn’t know what flavor you liked,” Yang Shuyi said quietly. “So I bought the original flavor.”