Xiaoxue [putting on her understanding big-sister face]: Tell me everything. I’ll give you the most rational, correct, wise, bright, upright, brilliant (skip another thousand words) guidance possible!
All the girls in the audience: Objection! We demand a new host! This woman is way too full of herself!
Xiaoxue [utterly unmoved]: Order, order. (Did we just turn into a courtroom in one second?) Don’t you want to hear what Liao Feng has to say next? ┐(￣▽￣)┌
Everyone: …
Liao Feng [dead serious]: My lifelong happiness.
Waiting…
Liao Feng [gazing deeply at Bai Yu].
Still waiting…
Liao Feng [ignoring everyone and continuing to gaze deeply at Bai Yu].
Xiaoxue [jumping up and down]: That’s it again?! Please, can you people stop talking like every word costs money?! At least throw in a few adjectives and explain yourselves!
Liao Feng: Fine. Then make him accept me sooner.
Xiaoxue [heart beginning to pound: Why do I suddenly feel something is off? Why is he cooperating this much…?]
Bai Yu [smiling like a spring breeze]: Accept you? Where did that come from? Have I ever rejected you?
Liao Feng [muttering]: Honestly, that smiling attitude of yours where you keep everyone a thousand miles away hurts even more than an outright rejection.
Bai Yu said nothing. Even the smile vanished from his face.
Liao Feng [looking miserable]: You should keep smiling. This is even worse…
Bai Yu [smiling]: Yes. This subordinate obeys.
Liao Feng: …
Bai Yu [continues smiling].
Xiaoxue [shivering + muttering]: Why did it suddenly get so cold in here?
Brackets-kun: Nonsense. You dragged this Qixi special all the way to Christmas. Of course it’s cold.
Xiaoxue [bristling]: Get lost. [Awkward smile.] Or… hehe… how about we change the subject? (Wiping sweat.)
Liao Feng [through clenched teeth]: And whose fault is that?!
Xiaoxue: Ahem. Let’s change the subject and give those two time to cool down.
Liao Feng: What we need isn’t time to cool down. We need you to stop creating problems between us.
Xiaoxue [innocently]: Hey, you can’t say it like that. If you hadn’t spent all that time obsessing over Rong Ye and trying to get him at any cost, would things have ended up this way? And who was it that decided to forget everything because of him, only to get tangled up with him again anyway? Who was it that went to any lengths to sneak into the Demon Realm and do that thing to him? And who was it that, after losing his memory, arrogantly looked down on everyone and everything around him and treated our little Yuyu as a substitute? (Uh… did I just spoil something? o(￣□￣)o)
Everyone fell silent. The girls in the audience did not make a sound. The only exceptions were Nalan Xuan, who was still crunching chips with obvious delight, and Feng Xuanyi, whose eyes held nothing but indulgence for the man beside him. Onstage, Rong Ye looked awkward. Ling Xu immediately wrapped an arm around him and went on full alert, glaring at Liao Feng hard enough to breathe fire. Liao Feng’s face went black. Bai Yu remained perfectly composed. Ke Luo looked helplessly at Man Yue, who was clearly enjoying the show. Ya Fei wore an icy expression and treated everything around him like air, while Jie Lie rested with his eyes half closed and the faintest curve at his lips.
Xiaoxue: Hehe. All right, let’s move on to the next group.
Everyone: Could you force that transition any harder…?
Xiaoxue [turning toward Man Yue and Ke Luo]: May I ask…
Man Yue: Don’t bother. We’re only here for a cameo. Even if you ask, we won’t answer, so give up and pick another target.
Xiaoxue [facial muscles twitching, refusing to surrender]: Hehe, don’t say that. I haven’t even dug your pit yet. Oh, no, what I mean is, if you cooperate with me, I can be very gentle with you. I can make you sweet from beginning to end, absolutely no angst, absolutely no conflict. Really, really. I promise!
Man Yue [laughing beautifully]: Say whatever you like. I don’t believe you.
Ke Luo: If you could actually keep a promise like that, would I have ended up getting thrown out of the house…?
Xiaoxue: Shh! Silence! No spoilers.
Man Yue: So give it up. Look over there. Aren’t those two sitting around with nothing better to do? Go ask them.
Xiaoxue [following his gaze toward Ya Fei and Jie Lie, neither of whom looks remotely interested in acknowledging her]: Hehe. [Aggrieved stare.]
Nalan Xuan: Munch, munch. [Keeps throwing chips into his mouth.] Mmf, don’t look at me.
Everyone: …
Xiaoxue: o(￣□￣)o
Feng Xuanyi: Don’t look at me.
Nalan Xuan [eyes full of approval]: We’re jush here t’watch the show. Don’ drag ush into it.
Feng Xuanyi: We’re only here for the entertainment. Don’t expect anything from us.
Everyone: …
Xiaoxue [amazed]: A dedicated interpreter!!
Feng Xuanyi looked at Nalan Xuan with deep affection and reached out to wipe the chip crumbs from the corner of his mouth.
Xiaoxue [launching the pitiful-eyes, deep-affection strategy].
Nalan Xuan: Munch, munch.
Feng Xuanyi [completely ignores her].
Xiaoxue: Xuan-Xuan…
Nalan Xuan: Munch, munch. [Wipes his mouth.] Mm, fine. What do you want us to do? Put on a live sex show? [Starts undoing his clothes.]
Feng Xuanyi: !
Xiaoxue: !
Everyone: Heart eyes. Drooling.
Feng Xuanyi immediately pressed down the hand Nalan Xuan had raised, preventing even the possibility of one fragrant shoulder being exposed.
Nalan Xuan [completely baffled]: ?
Xiaoxue: Ahem. This is an upright and respectable program recording. Anything rated eighteen-plus should be saved for married-couple homework at home.
Director & cameraman [muttering]: Go for it! Don’t hold back!
Xiaoxue: I only want to ask you a few questions. You just need to answer honestly and cooperate, hehe.
Everyone: Mm-hm, mm-hm.
Nalan Xuan: Sure.
Xiaoxue [internally]: Why does this suddenly feel suspiciously easy…?
Xiaoxue: Then may I ask what the two of you have been busy with lately? [Smiling, smiling.]
Nalan Xuan [confused]: What point in time are you asking from? Back when this was actually Qixi, at the end of Volume Two and the beginning of Volume Three, or now that the story is already finished?
Xiaoxue: So I really did drag this out too long… [Switches back to the Big Bad Wolf smile used to lure innocent lambs.] That’s not important. Just tell us what you really feel.
Nalan Xuan [sudden understanding]: Ohhh, what I really feel. [Pushes Feng Xuanyi away.] Then nothing much. I have nothing to do with this person.
Everyone: !!
Xiaoxue [raising one trembling orchid finger]: Aren’t you already at your happy endinggggg…?
Nalan Xuan: Yes, but that’s only because of the script. Privately, we’re not close.
A vein throbbed at Feng Xuanyi’s temple. A gentle smile remained on his face, although the corner of his mouth twitched every now and then.
Xiaoxue: Hehe, don’t say that. You’ll make everyone think I conned them with the letters HE again… You two are happy, right? You love each other, right? You’re sweet together, right? Look. [Points at Ling Xu and Rong Ye.] Even that godforsaken, shameless gong can find true love. You two can too!
The temperature in the studio instantly dropped twenty degrees. The director and cameraman vanished in one magnificent, flawless retreat.
A deep-blue sword silently condensed into existence in Ling Xu’s hand. Smiling like a ghost, he gently settled Rong Ye off to one side.
Ling Xu [cold smile]: It seems I need to teach you what careful wording means.
Xiaoxue [running for her life with both hands over her head]: Little Ye! Save me!! Hurry up and control your gong before he blows up!!
Rong Ye [spreading his hands innocently]: I’m not the one in danger.
Liao Feng: Don’t look at me. I wasn’t the one who said it. If possible, I’d rather not clash with him, especially not over you. It wouldn’t be worth it.
Ke Luo: …
Ya Fei: [Directly ignores her.]
Feng Xuanyi: [Isn’t even looking this way!!]
Xiaoxue: What kind of people are you?! Do any of you have a conscience?! I’ve torn my heart out and exhausted myself for all of you, yet you heartless wolves won’t even save your own mother!!
Liao Feng [raising a brow]: Torn your heart out?
Feng Xuanyi [cold smile]: Exhausted yourself?
Ke Luo [kicking her while she’s down]: She’s exhausted all right. Every bit of her energy goes into figuring out how to torment all of you.
Feng Xuanyi: We need to go home and deepen our understanding of the bond between us. [Scoops up Nalan Xuan… and the bag of chips still in his hands.]
Liao Feng: Let’s go home.
Bai Yu: Seventh Highness is still here. Are you certain you want to leave this early when an opportunity like this is so rare?
Liao Feng: …Bai Yu.
Bai Yu: Yes. This subordinate obeys.
Liao Feng: …
Man Yue patted his backside, stood up, and left.
Ke Luo immediately followed.
Ya Fei and Jie Lie rose at the same time and left their seats.
The audience… where did everybody go?!!
Xiaoxue [bursting into tears]: You unreliable bastards!!!! I only asked one question! The interview hasn’t even started yet! Why are you all running away?! You bas…
Ling Xu [sinister smile]: Dear Mother, This Sovereign hasn’t left. We can have a very thorough chat.
Xiaoxue [scurrying away with her head covered]: You’re the one person who should leave first!!!
What a scam. What exactly did I gain from making this whole mini-theater…?
A shooting star streaked across the sky in a flawless parabola and disappeared somewhere far beyond sight.
Xiaoxue: I’ll be baaaack…
P.S. Why am I always the one who gets hurt? >_<