Nalan Xuan was not angry. Calmly, he caught Xiao Qi as she lunged at him clawing and scratching like a madwoman, then gently but firmly forced her back onto the bed and held her there. “Noble Concubine Xiao, you really should take care of yourself. You’re miscarrying, and it isn’t exactly convenient to summon an imperial physician. If you’re careless and lose your own life along with the child, what a waste that would be.” He raised his head and glanced toward the thoroughly stunned Han Ruifeng, lifting his chin slightly. “Wouldn’t you agree, Noble Lord Han?”
“Honestly, no one else can really be blamed for this. It was simply fate. And as for me, I merely pulled a few strings and built a little bridge. Who could have guessed that Noble Lord Han was not only so favored and indulged, but so capable in this particular regard as well? Whether you two ever carried on secretly behind everyone’s backs, I wouldn’t know. But as far as I’m aware, publicly there was only that one time, and yet you conceived a child in a single attempt. Tsk, tsk. His Majesty still has no children of his own. Looking at it this way, perhaps even he ought to ask you for advice.”
After another violent bout of cramping, Xiao Qi was almost completely drained. She lay trembling on the bed, unable to move, large beads of sweat pouring from her body. Every so often she convulsed slightly, though whether from pain or rage was impossible to tell.
“You really are heartless!…” Han Ruifeng, who had remained silent for so long, finally lost his composure. The look he gave Xiao Qi was no longer as cold as before. It seemed that after struggling with himself for some time, he had reached a decision. His eyes held a complicated mixture of pity, avoidance, and something harder to define. Only after a long while did he finally grind out those words through clenched teeth.
“Heartless?” Nalan Xuan burst into laughter. “I wouldn’t dare claim such an honor! If we are discussing heartlessness, who in this palace could possibly compare with Noble Lord Han? Forget everyone else beneath heaven. Back in Prince Rong’s Residence, at least I treated you sincerely. I never doubted you in the slightest, do you understand? You were my first friend—the first person I ever truly acknowledged as a friend from the bottom of my heart! I calculated against everyone and guarded against everything, yet with you alone I held nothing back and never once thought to defend myself!”
“And what did you do? How did you repay me?! I resented you for taking advantage of the opening when I was gone, but I never truly blamed you, because back then I thought perhaps you had your own difficulties. Feng Xuanyi’s fickleness and habit of tiring of the old for the new were already infamous. Even after he ascended the throne and both you and I entered the harem, I kept thinking from your perspective and inventing every possible excuse to convince myself that you had no choice! And your repayment was to kill my child!”
A dense blood-red darkness gathered in Nalan Xuan’s black eyes. How could the agony of losing a child ever be washed away merely by time when the vengeance remained unpaid? Even if the wound had scarred over and appeared whole again, beneath it everything had long since rotted to the roots, festering and decaying in a hatred that would end only with death.
“It was nothing more than an unborn child that hadn’t even fully formed yet, and you could still bring yourself to do it!”
“Why wouldn’t I?” Han Ruifeng narrowed his eyes and shot back without fear. “If our positions had been reversed, you would probably have acted even more ruthlessly and decisively than I did. I had things I had to accomplish. Exclusive imperial favor was essential, and you were the only obstacle standing in my way. If I had actually allowed you to give birth to that child, wouldn’t I have been doomed never to rise for the rest of my life? Friendship? What is friendship worth? Back then, even if my own flesh and blood had blocked my road, there would have been only one end for them: death!”
“Besides, why bother pretending you’re so noble? Have you never been ruthless? Have you never calculated against everyone around you and harmed both others and yourself? Do you really think you can still stand here today and call yourself clean? If you cannot do it yourself, then what right do you have to stand before me and make such grand accusations?” Han Ruifeng sneered, his face full of contempt. “What exactly is the difference between you and me?”
“Yes. I calculate everything. I lay one scheme after another, and I am indeed ruthless.” Nalan Xuan remained perfectly composed. Hearing Han Ruifeng’s string of sharp, forceful accusations seemed instead to leave him strangely relieved. “But the greatest difference between you and me is this: you calculate against everyone around you to achieve your goals. You climbed upward on other people’s blood, so don’t blame them when they repay an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. I may use any means necessary and calculate every step, but the person I place on the board is myself. I pave my road with myself. That is the difference between us.”
“Hehe. Is there any point discussing this now? Or have you finally reached the end of your road and need me to teach you a few tricks?” Nalan Xuan abruptly changed the subject and gestured toward Xiao Qi. “If you have time to argue about all that, perhaps you should look at your own younger sister. She is suffering like this entirely because of you—because of her biological older brother.”
“Sometimes one really has to admit that Heaven is rather fair. I could have pretended I knew nothing. I might even have created the right circumstances and opportunities for His Majesty to believe the child in her belly was his. Unfortunately, someone was far too eager for quick results. Though I suppose that’s understandable. Even if this child had survived and been born safely, what exactly would it have called the two of you?” Nalan Xuan looked toward Han Ruifeng. “Would it call you Father… or Uncle?” Then his gaze shifted to Xiao Qi. “Would it call her Mother… or Aunt?”
“Still, I have no interest in untangling something so troublesome. Noble Lord Han was much more decisive and ended the life that should never have existed in the first place.” Smiling, Nalan Xuan leaned a little closer to Han Ruifeng. “So abortion is something one can become skilled at with practice too. I wonder how Noble Lord Han feels right now. Having personally ended the child you conceived with your own biological sister, do you feel refreshed? Has that great stone hanging over your heart finally fallen away?”
Han Ruifeng said nothing, merely glared fiercely at Nalan Xuan without relaxing for an instant. Xiao Qi had already lost consciousness on the bed. Blood was beginning to seep faintly through the bedding beneath her, and the startling red made even Nalan Xuan narrow his eyes. Once upon a time, this was how he too had lost his child.
“After all this, isn’t everything you’re doing simply revenge for that child?” Han Ruifeng suddenly sneered. “True, I did say those things. But could my words alone have accomplished anything? If His Majesty had never become suspicious, I could have talked myself hoarse and it still wouldn’t have mattered. I really wouldn’t dare call myself the true culprit. At most, I merely helped push things along. Yet you’ve made such an enormous spectacle in front of me. Why haven’t you gone to demand an explanation from the actual murderer?”
“You don’t need to stand there fanning the flames.” Who didn’t know how to use provocation? “Anyone who owes me, Nalan Xuan, will answer for it. Not one of you will escape. When the right time comes, naturally I’ll make every last one of you repay what you owe.” Nalan Xuan rested a hand over his abdomen without drawing attention to the gesture, his smile alluring. “For now, however, I’m merely collecting a little amusement from you first.”
“Oh, right.” As though he had suddenly remembered something, Nalan Xuan glanced pityingly at the unconscious Xiao Qi. “I really did pity the circumstances the two of you came from and originally thought I might let matters end peacefully. If Noble Lord Han hadn’t been so impatient and insisted on creating this particular scene, things would never have reached this point. I suppose I am partly to blame for talking too much and accidentally explaining twists and turns that even the people involved barely understood. But words spoken are like spilled water; there is no taking them back. I can only harden my heart now. After all, I can hardly wait until you brother and sister unite against me and leave me attacked from both front and rear, can I?”
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