Ever since Jia Zhi Qing had been coaxed, tricked, threatened, and effectively kidnapped to America by Lian Jue Xiu, the butcher shop had become even more impossibly busy.
So after Yan Su Ang repeatedly urged him to do it, Xiao Bai finally decided to hire someone.
By now, Xiong Xiong Butcher Shop was no less famous in the city than IBM. The moment its job advertisement went online, applications came pouring in from every direction.
There were simply too many applicants, so Yan Su Ang and Xiao Bai pulled Gao Qin and Feng Ya Lun in and divided the pile into four equal parts for screening.
Their first-round results were as follows:
Yan Su Ang: 8.
Gao Qin: 1.
Xiao Bai: 123.
Feng Ya Lun: 12.
…
Yan Su Ang watched Xiao Bai carry in a box just as heavy as the one he carried back out and rubbed his face. “Did you actually read them?” He had never imagined Xiao Bai knew how to slack off too. But if he was going to slack off, could he not at least make it less obvious? Picking two random applications as camouflage would have been fine.
Xiao Bai said, “I read every one.”
Gao Qin asked, “You thought all of them were good?”
Xiao Bai nodded. “Mm.” Then he began explaining them one by one. “This one was class monitor in elementary school. This one won a participation award in a recitation contest in middle school. This one got six big red flowers in kindergarten…”
…
One hundred twenty-three divided by three meant forty-one each. Very fair.
…
In the end, they selected twenty-seven people, then cross-screened one another’s choices until only three remained.
Gao Qin nodded. “These three really are pretty good.”
Feng Ya Lun said, “Then let’s interview them.”
The first was an English major from a prestigious university.
TEM-8 in English, Level 1 in Japanese.
Yan Su Ang conducted the interview.
Gao Qin and Feng Ya Lun sat behind a curtain, pulling the strings from behind the scenes.
The moment the applicant sat down, he launched into a rapid stream of speech.
One minute later, Yan Su Ang had not said a single word, yet the applicant got up and left on his own.
Rewind one minute. Translated from the English he had just spoken into Chinese, it went like this:
I’m a devoted fan of Xiao Bai. Xiao Bai is just so cute. His eyes are all watery and bright, and his lips are so red and pouty that every time I see him, I want to kiss him. What a tragedy, though. A beautiful flower planted in cow dung. How could he ever fall for you? Even if his eyes were completely clogged with eye gunk, he still shouldn’t make a mistake like that. Oh, of course adorable Xiao Bai would never have eye gunk. Damn it. I know I’ve blown this interview, but I won’t give up. Ugh, looking at you ruins my appetite. I’m done talking to you before I can’t eat at all. I’m leaving.
Listening to Feng Ya Lun and Gao Qin laugh behind the curtain, Yan Su Ang expressionlessly tore the résumé into pieces.
Next came a graduate-school returnee from overseas.
Gao Qin was the interviewer.
But the applicant walked in, took one look, and immediately walked right back out, loudly muttering, “Huh? Where’s Great God? Where’s Feng Ya Lun? Where’s Xiao Bai? Why is it some old uncle?!”
…
Behind the curtain, Yan Su Ang pounded the table with all his strength.
The third was an elite employee from a well-known company.
Having learned from the previous disasters, Feng Ya Lun got straight to the point the moment the man sat down. “The monthly salary is twelve hundred yuan. There’s a monthly bonus depending on the shop’s performance and your work. Forty hours a week. Half a month of annual leave at the end of the year. Any questions?”
“What about year-end dividends?” The elite pushed up his glasses. “And given the butcher shop’s current visibility, you should be considering an IPO. I think it has tremendous market potential. Of course, if the listing succeeds, I would hope to receive a certain amount of equity and the position of vice chairman of the board… blah blah blah.”
…
Yan Su Ang, Feng Ya Lun, and Gao Qin sat in the room and stared at one another in silence.
Xiao Bai pushed open the door. “Did you hire anyone?”
Yan Su Ang slowly shook his head.
“Great.” Xiao Bai smiled. “I did.”
…
Yan Su Ang immediately went on guard. “Why did he apply?”
Xiao Bai said, “No special reason. He said he’s getting married at the end of the year and wants a stable job.”
Yan Su Ang relaxed. Wanting to get married meant the man did not harbor improper thoughts about Xiao Bai.
Gao Qin asked, “Did he demand dividends, shares, the chairman’s seat, or anything like that?”
Xiao Bai thought for a moment. “Oh. He said he wants one lollipop every day.”
Gao Qin, Feng Ya Lun: “…”
Yan Su Ang slowly asked, “Has his QQ been repaired?”
Xiao Bai said, “It was fixed, but now it’s been towed away again.”
Yan Su Ang asked, “Hit another utility pole?”
Xiao Bai said, “He picked a different pole this time.”
Yan Su Ang: “…I have to admit, that QQ is built pretty well.”
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