Zhu Tai’s questions went around in a circle before coming back to Xiao Bai.
“I imagine all the Bai Powder fans sitting in front of their televisions are very curious about when Xiao Bai had his first love?” What he actually wanted to ask was whether Xiao Bai’s first love had been a man or a woman.
The corner of Yan Su Ang’s mouth twitched, but he did not interrupt. He was curious about this question too.
Xiao Bai asked, “Does first love mean the first time you date someone?”
Zhu Tai nodded vigorously.
Xiao Bai said, “Never.”
Yan Su Ang was very satisfied with that answer.
Zhu Tai was very dissatisfied. “Not even an unrequited crush?”
Xiao Bai said, “That… yes.”
Zhu Tai was satisfied.
Yan Su Ang was very dissatisfied. He had no right to interfere with Xiao Bai’s life before they met, but knowing that Xiao Bai had once been attracted to someone else still left an uncomfortable weight in his chest.
Zhu Tai beamed. “Who was it?”
“Zhi Qing, Brother Xiong, and I talked about this before.” Xiao Bai thought for a moment. “In the end, they unanimously decided I had a crush on Chang’e.”
“……”
Zhu Tai was dumbfounded. “Because she belongs to the Year of the Pig?”
Xiao Bai said, “Because Chang’e can attract free pigs.” Then he could run a business without any capital.
“……”
Yan Su Ang considered buying a pigpen so he could keep his adorable little Xiao Bai pig safely penned up at home.
The program had limited airtime. Although Zhu Tai still had plenty of questions he wanted to discuss with Xiao Bai, time waited for no one, so he could only stop while he was ahead.
After the recording ended, he even made a point of exchanging phone numbers with Xiao Bai.
Immediately on alert, Yan Su Ang smiled and asked, “Why are you only asking for Xiao Bai’s number and not ours?”
Zhu Tai said, “Everyone in the industry knows Great God doesn’t give out his cellphone number casually.”
Yan Su Ang wanted to say something, but Xiao Bai was already writing on a slip of paper, so he could only let it go.
Only after Zhu Tai left did Yan Su Ang lower his voice and tell Xiao Bai, “Don’t casually give your cellphone number to outsiders in the future.”
Xiao Bai said, “I didn’t give him my cellphone number.”
“Then what did you write on that paper just now…?”
“The home phone number.” He paused. “The apartment I used to rent.”
“……”
Yan Su Ang smiled and patted his head. “Good job.”
Jia Zhi Qing was the only person living in that apartment now, right? It did not matter if he got harassed a little.
“How did you think of giving him that number?”
Xiao Bai said, “Because I don’t remember my cellphone number.”
“……”
Yan Su Ang smiled and nodded. “You don’t need to call yourself anyway. There’s nothing wrong with not remembering it.”
Ideally, nobody else would remember it either. Then the only person calling Xiao Bai would be him.
By the time their rented van returned to the hotel, it was already ten at night.
Xiao Bai was sharing a twin room with Jia Zhi Qing.
Yan Su Ang unhappily examined the tiny gap between the two beds. Just as he was about to tell Xiao Bai to move into his large suite, Lian Jue Xiu suddenly walked in from outside. “There are reporters in the hotel.”
Jia Zhi Qing immediately jumped up, tied two extra knots in the sash of his pajamas, and looked around warily. “Where? Where?”
Lian Jue Xiu said, “They’re reporters, not terrorists. You don’t have to be that nervous.”
Jia Zhi Qing asked worriedly, “What if they install a pinhole camera in my room and secretly photograph me naked?”
Lian Jue Xiu said, “What would be the point?”
“……”
Jia Zhi Qing gave a dry cough. “What I mean is, maybe while they’re photographing Xiao Bai, I’ll accidentally end up in the shot too.”
Yan Su Ang glared at him. “Then you might as well buy yourself a spacesuit and sleep in that.”
Jia Zhi Qing voluntarily shut his mouth.
Yan Su Ang turned toward Lian Jue Xiu. “Should we switch Xiao Bai to another room?”
“……”
Jia Zhi Qing thought gloomily, Great God, aren’t you worried about exactly the same thing?
Lian Jue Xiu said, “I’m not particularly worried about pinhole cameras inside the room. This hotel has hosted a lot of important people, so its security should be reliable. What worries me more is reporters staking the place out and photographing something.”
Although he did not say what that “something” might be, everyone present knew perfectly well who had the most “something” lurking inside his heart.
Yan Su Ang raised an eyebrow. “Why are all of you looking at me?”
Lian Jue Xiu said, “If we don’t look today, we’ll see it on tomorrow’s magazine cover anyway.”
Yan Su Ang said, “Could you not talk as though I’m definitely going to get photographed?”
Lian Jue Xiu said, “Want to bet?”
“……” Yan Su Ang sighed. “That trick is ancient.” Wasn’t Lian Jue Xiu merely trying to use a bet to make him behave himself? “What are we betting?”
Lian Jue Xiu said, “If I lose, I’ll wash ten pairs of your socks. If you lose, you wash ten pairs of my underwear.”
Jia Zhi Qing sighed sentimentally. “So Great God’s socks stink just as badly as Lian Jue Xiu’s underwear.”
“……”
A cold light flashed in Yan Su Ang’s eyes.
Jia Zhi Qing immediately lowered his head. “What I meant was, Lian Jue Xiu’s underwear stinks even worse than Great God’s socks.”
“……”
Lian Jue Xiu said, “Money’s tight lately. Very, very tight.”
Remembering the salary he had yet to receive, Jia Zhi Qing’s momentum immediately collapsed. “Actually, both your underwear and socks smell much better than my towels.”
Xiao Bai said, “That’s the truth.”
“……”
Yan Su Ang suddenly smiled. “I want to change the stakes.”
Lian Jue Xiu asked warily, “To what?”
“If I lose, I’ll wash a hundred pairs of underwear and a hundred pairs of socks for you.”
Such extravagance?
Lian Jue Xiu became even more cautious about what Yan Su Ang was about to demand in return. “And if I lose?”
Yan Su Ang glanced at Jia Zhi Qing and smiled. “Then you and Jia Zhi Qing make the fake relationship real and officially start dating.”
“……”
Jia Zhi Qing protested, “Why am I being lumped together with a hundred pairs of underwear and a hundred pairs of socks?”
He paused, then added, “Wait, no. Why does his bet involve me at all?”
Lian Jue Xiu nodded. “I also think that stake is far too cruel.”
“……”
Jia Zhi Qing had nothing to say. Only a thousand lines of tears remained.
Why was he always the one who got hurt?!
Yan Su Ang dragged Lian Jue Xiu into the bathroom and closed the door.
“Actually…” Yan Su Ang’s smile brimmed with confidence. “Jia Zhi Qing wouldn’t make such a bad wife, would he?”
Lian Jue Xiu froze. “Are you planning to transfer your affections?”
“I heard Auntie Lian likes him a lot.”
“I have no idea what goes through my mother’s head.” Lian Jue Xiu was simultaneously pleased and worried. “At first, she had some objections to him. She thought his appearance was… somewhat less than ideal.”
Yan Su Ang thought that Auntie Lian was a very tactful woman.
Lian Jue Xiu continued, “But later, after he let his bangs down and stopped wearing that plaid suit, she thought he was at least presentable.”
Yan Su Ang thought that Auntie Lian was not merely tactful, but also remarkably incisive.
“Then after spending some time with him, she decided he had a decent personality. Apart from being a little lazy, he’s filial, warmhearted, and quick-witted. He’s greedy over petty sums of money, but when it comes to quite a few serious matters, his opinions are actually fairly sensible.”
Yan Su Ang asked curiously, “What serious matters has he ever had sensible opinions about?” It was difficult to imagine Jia Zhi Qing ever having an insightful day. Yan Su Ang had always thought the only thing he knew how to do was put both eyes on the ground and then turn around to face the wall.
Lian Jue Xiu thought for a moment. “Uh… things like women’s rights. My mother is a feminist.”
“……”
Both of them felt that the conversation had suddenly become very cold.
“Jue Xiu.” Yan Su Ang abruptly patted him on the shoulder. “You’re not getting any younger. It’s about time you settled down.”
Lian Jue Xiu looked dumbfounded. “Has my mother possessed your soul?”
“I’m serious.” Yan Su Ang gave a dry cough. “Think about it. Back when you came out, your mother nearly hired the Italian Mafia to get rid of you. Now that she’s finally come around and accepted your sexuality, if you suddenly reveal that Jia Zhi Qing was nothing more than a smokescreen…”
He gestured with his eyes. The consequences were left to Lian Jue Xiu’s imagination.
Lian Jue Xiu involuntarily shuddered.
“You can see it too. Auntie Lian already treats Jia Zhi Qing like her future son-in-law.”
Lian Jue Xiu answered honestly, “I can’t see it.”
Yan Su Ang said irritably, “If she didn’t think of him as her future son-in-law, would she spend every day running back and forth to the hospital for him? Wouldn’t she have hired the Italian Mafia to kill him already?”
“……”
Lian Jue Xiu wiped cold sweat from his forehead. “Could you stop talking as though my mother hires the Italian Mafia as casually as she orders Italian pasta?”
Yan Su Ang said, “You were the one who said it that way back then.”
Lian Jue Xiu automatically skipped over that subject. “Fine. Even if my mother considers him her future son-in-law, storms come without warning and misfortune can strike at any time. Who says I can’t break up with him? Once my mother goes back to America, I can just invent a reason and say we broke up.”
Yan Su Ang said, “And then wait for her to travel thousands of miles back from America? And then, while she’s trying to get the two of you back together, accidentally discover the truth…”
Lian Jue Xiu gave him a strange look. “What exactly are you trying to say?”
Yan Su Ang hooked an arm over his shoulders. “Have you ever considered… making the fake relationship real?”
“No.” Lian Jue Xiu answered with astonishing speed.
“Then you can start giving it some serious thought now.” Yan Su Ang patiently coaxed him. “Think about it. Once you settle down, Auntie Lian will hand every worry about your meals and daily life over to Jia Zhi Qing. Even if something happens, she’ll only contact him. And then you’ll be…”
A magnificent blueprint instantly unfolded before Lian Jue Xiu’s eyes. “Free.”
Yan Su Ang poured another spoonful of oil onto the flames. “And you’ll have someone to wash your underwear and socks.”
Lian Jue Xiu suddenly understood. “After all that talking, you’re merely trying to make me accept this bet.”
Yan Su Ang did not deny it.
“And the reason you want me to accept this particular bet…” The corner of Lian Jue Xiu’s mouth lifted. “Is because you want to dump Jia Zhi Qing on me so he’ll stop competing with you for Xiao Bai.”
Yan Su Ang firmly patted the arm draped across his shoulders. “Brother.”
Lian Jue Xiu gave him a sidelong look. “But why am I the garbage can?”
“Do you think Jia Zhi Qing is garbage?”
Speaking according to his conscience, Lian Jue Xiu said, “……He’s all right.”
“Then you’re not a garbage can.”
“If I’m not a garbage can, I’m at least a shelter.”
“Tell me the truth.” Yan Su Ang brought out his killing move. “Have you really never wanted to push him down?”
Lian Jue Xiu choked slightly. “I did before…”
“Exactly. Wouldn’t this simply turn a one-night stand into an every-night stand?” Yan Su Ang began drawing another magnificent blueprint. “With a one-night stand, you have to keep going out hunting. An every-night stand is much better. All you have to do is come home, and there’ll already be someone warming the bed while he waits for you.” He paused. “You haven’t been hunting for a long time, have you?”
Lian Jue Xiu snapped, “With my mother here, how am I supposed to go out…”
“As long as you take care of Jia Zhi Qing, these miserable days can finally end.” Yan Su Ang’s eyes shone brightly. And his own good days would not be far behind.
Lian Jue Xiu pondered for a long time before saying, “Even if I agree to the bet, you still have to win.”
“No problem.” Yan Su Ang smiled an extremely, extremely crafty smile.
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