The moment mealtime arrived, the doorbell at Yan Su Ang’s home rang with perfect punctuality.
Xiao Bai did not even bother asking who it was before opening the door. There was only one person who reported for duty this reliably at mealtimes: Vincent.
Vincent came happily running inside with an English-to-Chinese dictionary tucked under his arm.
“Smell. Very smell.” Vincent inhaled deeply through his nose. “Must tasty.”
Xiao Bai said, “I just sprayed some Raid to kill the cockroaches.”
Vincent nodded without changing expression. “So tasty. Very. Tasty.”
“……”
Xiao Bai set bowls and chopsticks out from the kitchen.
Vincent sat grandly at the dining table and waited.
Xiao Bai slowly carried the dishes out: three dishes and one soup.
“This is…” Vincent began flipping through his dictionary.
Xiao Bai said, “Tomato-and-egg soup.”
“……” Vincent discovered that bringing only an English-to-Chinese dictionary had been insufficient. At the very least, he also needed a Chinese-to-English one.
The telephone on the coffee table began ringing.
Xiao Bai got up to answer it.
“Vincent came over to freeload again, didn’t he?” Yan Su Ang’s very first sentence sounded sinister.
Xiao Bai said, “Yes.”
“Remember to make him leave money for his meal when he goes.”
“What if he doesn’t understand?”
“Then…” Yan Su Ang thought about it and discovered that this was a difficult problem. Searching Vincent would mean Xiao Bai personally touching his body. Absolutely not! Detaining him would be inviting a wolf into the house. Who knew whether Vincent might develop indecent intentions toward his adorable Xiao Bai?
After considering the matter for a long time, Yan Su Ang simply said, “Then call the police.”
Xiao Bai said, “……I’ll pay for him.” He was Brother Ya Lun’s friend, after all.
Yan Su Ang sighed. His Xiao Bai was simply too kind. “Fine. Forget it this time. Just don’t let him inside again next time.”
Xiao Bai considered it, then said, “Okay.” This was Yan Su Ang’s home, after all. If Yan Su Ang did not want Vincent coming over, then Xiao Bai could only stop letting him in.
Vincent sat at the dining table eating with tremendous enthusiasm, completely unaware that this was his last supper.
Yan Su Ang suddenly lowered his voice. “Has the television station been busy these past few days?”
“Not really.” Xiao Bai counted on his fingers as he reported his schedule from the past several days. Although the contents were terribly mundane and boring, Yan Su Ang liked listening to them. Xiao Bai’s voice was soft, carrying a faint nasal quality, and whenever he spoke slowly, he sounded almost as though he were acting spoiled.
After Xiao Bai finished, he realized Yan Su Ang had not said anything for a while and could not resist asking, “What about you?”
“I only have one thing on my schedule.”
“Oh. Promoting the movie?”
“No.” Yan Su Ang paused before saying in a husky voice, “Missing you.”
Xiao Bai lightly wound the telephone cord around his finger. He did not know why, but those two simple words made him want to press half his face against the receiver.
“What about you?” Yan Su Ang asked softly.
“Mm.” Xiao Bai nodded. Back when they had not yet lived together, he would always feel something strange inside whenever Yan Su Ang went away for work. Now that they were living together, that feeling had become even stronger. He could not seem to summon much enthusiasm for anything.
“What does ‘mm’ mean?” Yan Su Ang’s voice carried a smile.
Xiao Bai answered honestly, “I miss you a lot.”
Yan Su Ang was completely fulfilled. He decided that over the next few days, he could treat Lian Jue Xiu just a tiny bit better. For the past few days, he had been regarding Lian Jue Xiu as Fahai, the monk who beat apart the lovers, and had given him nothing but cold looks and an icy face. Lian Jue Xiu had been deeply depressed.
“You can come join the promotion tour the day after tomorrow, right?” Yan Su Ang had been counting the days on the calendar.
Xiao Bai said, “Mm. But I still have to record Guest Room tomorrow.”
“I heard you still haven’t settled on the guests?”
“Director Chen wanted Brother Ya Lun, but Brother Ya Lun turned him down.”
Yan Su Ang thought for a moment. “I heard Gossip Kid has already left the hospital. You can suggest that Chen Fei invite them.”
Since the ratings for Xiao Bai’s episodes of There’s Always a Higher Mountain were good, and Gossip Kid seemed to land in the hospital far too frequently, the executives had decided to let Xiao Bai carry the show on his own and not ask the two of them to return.
Without even asking why, Xiao Bai immediately agreed. “Okay.”
Listening to Xiao Bai’s obedient voice made Yan Su Ang’s heart itch. He wished he could crawl into the phone line, transmit himself straight back home, and wrap Xiao Bai in his arms.
Apparently their conversation still was not sweet enough, because Vincent had to barge in and contribute as well. He shouted, “Xiao Bai, chi…”
“……”
Yan Su Ang ground his teeth. “Throw that pig out!” How dare he call his adorable, clever Xiao Bai a “little idiot”? Vincent must really have gotten tired of living and traveled all the way from America to China in search of death.
Elio’s Notes: Vincent is trying to say “Xiao Bai, eat…”—小白，吃…… (Xiao Bai, chī…). Run together, however, it sounds like 小白痴 (xiǎo báichī), “little idiot,” which is what Yan Su Ang thinks he heard.
Xiao Bai said helplessly, “He’s too big.”
Yan Su Ang said, “Put him on the phone.”
The telephone changed hands.
Vincent cheerfully greeted him in English. He had not been in China long, but he already felt as though he were rapidly developing social withdrawal.
Yan Su Ang waited until Vincent finished being cheerful, then asked in a very dark tone, “You’ve been eating pretty happily lately, haven’t you?”
Vincent smiled and nodded. “Very happy. Very happy.”
“Then isn’t it about time you settled your food bill?”
Vincent froze briefly before immediately nodding. “Of course.”
“Good. Start by writing Xiao Bai a check for one million US dollars. We’ll refund or charge the difference afterward.”
“……”
Vincent asked, “Does ‘one million’ mean the same thing to you that it means to me?”
Yan Su Ang said, “If yours has six zeroes after the one, then yes.”
Vincent said, “……Forget caviar. I haven’t even eaten fish roe here.”
Yan Su Ang asked, “Have you eaten fish?”
Vincent hesitated. “Yes.”
“Then you’ve killed off a lot of future caviar.”
“……”
Was that really how the value of food was calculated?
Vincent was depressed. “Can’t you make it cheaper?”
“Don’t worry. We’ll refund or charge the difference. When you leave, we’ll find some coins to give you as change.”
Vincent remained silent for a very long time before asking, “Do you people… not welcome me?”
“……”
He had actually finally noticed.
Yan Su Ang felt as though that one-million-dollar check had suddenly opened Vincent’s blocked meridians and granted him enlightenment.
“No, you mustn’t say that.” For the sake of maintaining healthy relations between their two countries, Yan Su Ang spoke against his conscience. “We’re merely a little surprised and enormously unaccustomed to having you as an unexpected guest.”
Vincent was speechless. Did that not simply mean they did not welcome him?
He said awkwardly, “Actually, I already booked a flight back to America for the day after tomorrow.”
Yan Su Ang could not stop the corners of his mouth from rising. “Won’t that be too rushed? Uh, couldn’t you get one for tomorrow? Want me to help?”
“……” Vincent said, “Thank you very much for your kindness, but I’m going to visit the neighboring city tomorrow.”
“Oh?” Yan Su Ang sighed, clearly filled with immense regret that he had been unable to help.
The call ended.
Vincent looked sadly at Xiao Bai, who was still eating.
Xiao Bai stopped moving his chopsticks and looked at him in confusion. “What’s wrong?”
Vincent’s gaze fell on the large serving bowl that held the soup. “Can I take this back to America as a souvenir?”
Xiao Bai said, “I’ll look for the receipt later.”
“Why?” It was not as though he wanted to claim reimbursement.
“So I’ll know how much you need to pay.”
“……”
Vincent silently wiped the corner of his eye.
Xiao Bai had barely seen Vincent’s dejected figure out the door when Jia Zhi Qing came rushing over.
Xiao Bai said, “Dinner’s all gone.”
“Just because it’s dinnertime, does that mean I necessarily came here to eat dinner?” Jia Zhi Qing’s eyes darted toward the kitchen. “Uh… it’s really all gone?”
Xiao Bai nodded.
Jia Zhi Qing was depressed.
Ever since he had secretly escaped from the hospital last time, he had gradually fallen in love with the sport.
Although Mother Lian repeatedly caught him, he stubbornly refused to reform, so she could only tell Lian Jue Xiu to keep a closer watch on him.
Later, Lian Jue Xiu became so overwhelmingly busy that he finally showed mercy beyond the bounds of the law and had the doctor write a certificate permitting Jia Zhi Qing to leave the hospital. Thus, one tragic saga of searching for illnesses despite having none finally drew to a close.
But although Jia Zhi Qing was out of the hospital, Mother Lian’s policy of relentless surveillance had not relaxed in the slightest. Especially now that Lian Jue Xiu had gone out of town for promotional work, every bit of Mother Lian’s attention had fallen squarely on Jia Zhi Qing.
Xiao Bai asked curiously, “Didn’t Auntie make you dinner?” He remembered Jia complaining only a few days ago that she stuffed him with too much food every evening.
Jia Zhi Qing said, “I pried a secret out of Lian Jue Xiu by letting him deduct a hundred yuan from my pay every day.”
“What secret?”
“Find mahjong partners for his mother.” Jia Zhi Qing said proudly, “Only now did I discover that she’s actually a devoted mahjong enthusiast. Sigh. If I’d known sooner, I would’ve been liberated eight hundred years ago.”
Xiao Bai said, “But she really treats you very well.”
“The better she treats me now, the more dangerous things will be later.” Jia Zhi Qing said worriedly, “If she ever discovers I’m a hired worker, then the consequences…”
“Then just don’t let her find out.”
Jia Zhi Qing immediately brightened. “You have an idea?”
“I already gave you one last time.”
Right. That “make the fake relationship real” suggestion that had nearly cost him an entire night’s sleep.
Jia Zhi Qing immediately lost interest. “I’d rather let his mother beat me half to death. At least that would only hurt for a little while.”
Xiao Bai said, “Maybe you’d sleep forever.”
“……”
Jia Zhi Qing said, “Can’t you say something nice for once?”
Xiao Bai added, “I said ‘maybe.’”
“……You’d better stop talking.”
Xiao Bai obediently closed his mouth.
Jia Zhi Qing opened the refrigerator to look for something to eat. “Ah. Why is everything raw?”
Xiao Bai: “……”
“Why are there two bowls in the sink?” Jia Zhi Qing immediately realized something. “Don’t tell me that Vincent guy came over to freeload again?” Xiao Bai living with Great God and pushing Jia Zhi Qing down below Great God in the rankings was bad enough. Now some brat who had crossed an entire ocean from America was cutting in line too! This was absolutely intolerable! “Where is he?”
Xiao Bai: “……”
Jia Zhi Qing said helplessly, “Fine. Even if you won’t give me words, at least give me an expression.”
Xiao Bai innocently blinked.
“I’m begging you, please talk. I’m not blessed enough to withstand you making eyes at me.” If Great God found out about that, it definitely would not be something peace talks could resolve.
“He’s downstairs.”
Jia Zhi Qing rolled up his sleeves and headed for the door. “Very soon, you’ll discover he isn’t downstairs anymore.”
“Then where will he be?”
“On a plane to Canada.”
Xiao Bai never learned exactly what happened afterward. He only knew that when Vincent eventually left, he boarded his originally scheduled flight and went directly back to America.
The truth was eventually revealed by Gao Qin, who explained it this way:
“When language fails people, they discover that they can still use shared interests to draw closer together—for example, music, sculpture, or painting. Of course, all three are far too rigid and unimaginative for Vincent and Jia Zhi Qing. So instead, they ate popcorn together and enjoyed some dynamic nude art.”
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