Xiao Bai knocked on the car window.
Gao Qin lowered it.
“Brother Gao, lend me some money.” Xiao Bai was panting from the run.
Gao Qin looked at him, then at the man behind him, and slowly asked, “Is it for a lawsuit?”
“……”
“Huh?” Xiao Bai froze for two seconds before saying, “He’s only refusing to take me home. It’s not like a taxi refusing a passenger. And even if a taxi refused a passenger, that wouldn’t be serious enough for a lawsuit, would it? You could just complain to the taxi company.”
“That kind of thing can’t be solved by filing a complaint,” Gao Qin replied instinctively.
Yan Su Ang, listening from behind them, felt his head begin to split. Am I on Mars, or are they on Mars? Why is understanding what they’re saying so difficult? “Can I get a word in?”
Gao Qin said, “What if I refuse?”
“Then I’ll get a hand in.” Yan Su Ang raised his fist.
Xiao Bai said, “Celebrities aren’t allowed to fight. That violates company rules.”
Gao Qin nodded approvingly. “Well said.”
Yan Su Ang ground his teeth. “My company is Weijie.”
Gao Qin added, “That’s a violent organization masquerading as an entertainment company.”
Xiao Bai’s gaze toward Yan Su Ang immediately underwent a complete one-hundred-and-eighty-degree transformation.
Yan Su Ang glared viciously at Gao Qin. “Shut up.”
Gao Qin asked, “Was that a request?”
“A warning.”
Xiao Bai suddenly stood on tiptoe and patted Yan Su Ang’s hair.
Yan Su Ang and Gao Qin both turned to stone.
A long moment later.
Gao Qin was the first to recover his wits. “Could you explain the profound meaning behind what you just did?”
“Living in a violent organization for so long must be very hard.” Xiao Bai looked sympathetically at Yan Su Ang.
Gao Qin tried to tune in to Xiao Bai’s brainwaves. “You mean because he’s too busy fighting?”
Xiao Bai said, “I heard people who work for violent organizations get beaten a lot.”
“……”
So Xiao Bai’s head was currently filled with images of Yan Su Ang being brutally beaten every day?
Gao Qin decided that perhaps tuning in was unnecessary after all.
“Who told you people working for violent organizations get beaten all the time?” Yan Su Ang asked through gritted teeth. It better not have been Jia Zhi Qing, who lives under the same roof as him. If it was, I may have to move my kidnapping plan ahead of schedule.
“The auntie upstairs.”
“……”
Fine.
The kidnapping plan would still be moved ahead of schedule.
“Although I really don’t want to interrupt, I have no choice but to point out,” Gao Qin said, “that my car has been running this entire time.”
Yan Su Ang raised an eyebrow. “So?”
“And I’m almost out of gas.” Gao Qin pointed at the fuel gauge.
“So?”
“If you don’t mind, could you wait until I go to the gas station and come back before continuing this discussion of the internal workings of violent organizations?”
Yan Su Ang said, “Why don’t you just turn off the engine?”
Gao Qin glared at him. “Do you seriously think that if I make it to the gas station, I’m coming back?”
Xiao Bai blinked. “What does that mean?”
Yan Su Ang explained, “It means this guy is using the gas station as an excuse to escape.”
Gao Qin said irritably, “You should be grateful I’m still willing to come up with an excuse.”
Yan Su Ang challenged, “Otherwise?”
“Otherwise I’d just step on the gas. Then you’d realize what an honor it was to receive so much as a goodbye from me.”
Yan Su Ang raised an eyebrow. “Why not farewell forever?”
“Because I don’t think you’ll die that quickly.”
“……”
Never engage Gao Qin in a war of words.
His mouth might as well have come stamped with the authentic seal of the Tang Sect.
Elio’s Notes: The Tang Sect is a famous martial-arts-fiction clan strongly associated with poisons and concealed weapons. The joke is that Gao Qin’s tongue is so poisonous it might as well be Tang Sect merchandise.
Yan Su Ang knew this perfectly well, yet repeatedly failed to follow his own advice.
Because besides being poisonous, Gao Qin’s mouth also had an uncanny ability to lure people into battle. Every time he opened it, he made others itch to grind their teeth.
“Just lend me two yuan.” Xiao Bai clung pitifully to the car window and looked at Gao Qin. Walking home from here was far too long a journey, and he was not sure he could make it before dark.
Gao Qin mockingly glanced at Yan Su Ang’s depressed face. “Get in. I’ll drive you.”
“No.” Yan Su Ang grabbed Xiao Bai with one hand. “I’ll take him.”
Gao Qin said, “Can you guarantee you won’t reach the destination and then demand two yuan in fare before letting him out?”
Yan Su Ang’s teeth started grinding again. “I won’t.”
Gao Qin pulled out a ten-yuan bill and shoved it into Xiao Bai’s hand. “If he tries using the fare to threaten you into doing something you don’t want to do, throw this at him!”
“……” Xiao Bai looked at the money in his hand. “Will this work? Wouldn’t coins hurt more?”
Gao Qin gave Yan Su Ang a look overflowing with sympathy.
Yan Su Ang knocked on the car door. “Haven’t you learned traffic rules? Don’t just park in the middle of the road!” With that, he grabbed Xiao Bai and began dragging him back, cutting him off before he could speak. “Don’t worry. I’m not charging you.”
Xiao Bai whispered, “I was only going to say… your car seems to be parked in the opposite direction.”
“……I feel like circling the Earth once!”
Silence settled over the drive.
Xiao Bai dozed off on his own.
While they were stopped at a red light, Yan Su Ang looked tenderly at his sleeping face.
Apart from that maddening streak of obliviousness, Xiao Bai was so adorable there was almost nothing to criticize. Of course, even that obliviousness could occasionally be adorable.
The light turned green.
The car behind them impatiently honked its horn.
The corner of Xiao Bai’s eye twitched, and he slowly woke up.
Yan Su Ang cursed the car behind them five hundred times in his heart.
Xiao Bai looked around blearily. “Are we home?”
“Not yet. Why don’t we eat something first? I haven’t had anything since this morning.” Yan Su Ang lied without the slightest change in expression.
“Okay.”
“Where should we eat?” Yan Su Ang remembered the date that had failed to happen last time. “How about crossing-the-bridge rice noodles?”
“No need. We can eat at home.”
“Home?” The corner of Yan Su Ang’s mouth slowly rose. It stayed that way for quite a while before he forced his expression serious again. “Wouldn’t that be moving a little too fast?”
Xiao Bai looked at the moped rapidly overtaking them on the right. “I don’t think this counts as fast.”
Not fast?
Yan Su Ang secretly laughed to himself.
Who said my Xiao Bai is oblivious? He’s clearly very perceptive. One hint and he understands everything.
“Can you go a little faster?” Xiao Bai asked.
“A little faster?” Yan Su Ang repeated softly. “How fast do you want it?”
“Fast enough to overtake that bicycle, preferably.” A sports car losing to a bicycle… that’s honestly a little embarrassing.
“……”
Whoosh.
A cyclist and a random pedestrian simultaneously felt a fierce gust of wind sweep past them.
Dead leaves whirled through the air while the source of the wind had already vanished at the far end of the road.
The first thing Xiao Bai did when they arrived home was reheat the rice-cake soup.
He lit the stove, put the pot on, then dutifully began peeling an apple.
Yan Su Ang wandered around the apartment with nothing to do. “Isn’t your room a little too close to Jia Zhi Qing’s?”
“……”
“Huh?” Xiao Bai stared at him blankly.
“There’s only one wall between you.” You could knock through it with a little hammer.
“But the entire apartment is only a little over thirty square meters…”
Yan Su Ang examined the lock on Xiao Bai’s door. “Something like this could be kicked open in one go, couldn’t it?”
“……”
“Why would anyone kick it?”
“I mean, if a burglar got in, it wouldn’t be very safe.”
“But if a burglar could already get through the security door outside, would the kind of lock in here really matter?”
Yan Su Ang enthusiastically suggested, “What about one of those combination locks used on safes?”
Xiao Bai said, “Then it would become the most valuable thing in the apartment.”
“……”
The rice-cake soup was ready.
The two sat facing each other and began eating.
“Delicious.” Yan Su Ang shoved a mouthful in and praised it immediately, before he had even had time to taste anything.
Xiao Bai smiled faintly. “Zhi Qing likes it a lot too. But he went on a date today.”
Yan Su Ang disliked the first sentence very much.
He liked the second one enormously.
Pretending not to care, he asked, “He has a girlfriend?”
“Mm. She’s a beautiful reporter.”
“A reporter?” Yan Su Ang frowned.
As an artist, he was naturally sensitive to that word.
“Do you know what kind of reporting she does?” Hopefully not entertainment.
Xiao Bai shook his head. “No. I only know her name is Le Qing.”
“Le Qing?” Yan Su Ang’s frown deepened. “Where did he meet her?”
“At the hospital.”
Yan Su Ang fell silent.
Xiao Bai blinked. “You know her?”
“If the Le Qing you mean is the editor-in-chief of Vanilla, then yes. I know her.”
“Editor-in-chief?” Xiao Bai’s eyes widened. “Isn’t that really impressive?”
“Extremely impressive. Especially when it comes to handling men.”
Xiao Bai frowned. “Are you badmouthing her?”
“You’re welcome to interpret it as praise.”
The sound of a key turning came from the front door.
Xiao Bai lowered his voice. “Don’t tell Zhi Qing what you just said.”
Yan Su Ang raised an eyebrow.
“I’ll investigate first.” Xiao Bai stretched his neck forward and dropped his voice even lower. “Zhi Qing really likes her.”
Yan Su Ang nodded.
The door opened.
Jia Zhi Qing came inside grinning so broadly that he could not seem to close his mouth. Even when he saw Yan Su Ang, he only beamed and greeted him. “Hi, Great God!”
Yan Su Ang and Xiao Bai simply watched him grin all the way into his room.
About three minutes later, he suddenly stuck his head back out in shock. “Great God, why are you here… uh, eating rice-cake soup?”
No matter how he looked at him, Great God did not seem like the kind of person who ate rice-cake soup.
Unless the soup contained abalone, sea cucumber, and shark fin.
He deliberately leaned his head directly over Xiao Bai’s bowl.
“Cabbage?” Jia Zhi Qing nearly fainted. Great God had come all the way to their apartment and Xiao Bai was feeding him cabbage? “Xiao Bai, you—you…”
“What did I do?”
“Even if you don’t have abalone, sea cucumber, and shark fin, couldn’t you at least add some egg yolk, grass roots, or vermicelli?”
“……”
Yan Su Ang rubbed his nose and changed the subject. “What happened to you? Why are you so happy?”
“Ha ha.” Jia Zhi Qing immediately began secretly giggling again.
Yan Su Ang guessed, “You kissed Le Qing?”
Jia Zhi Qing’s face flushed. He coyly stamped his foot. “Oh, stop it! We’ve barely met a few times. How could things move that fast?”
Good.
Otherwise, Yan Su Ang would have died of envy.
“But we held hands.” Jia Zhi Qing finished speaking and immediately darted back into his room and shut the door.
Yan Su Ang stared at the door and declared with certainty, “He must be a virgin.”
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