An Zi Yan turned around, took the MP3 earbuds out of his ears, and looked at Mai Ding as though absolutely nothing had happened. “Oh, you’re back.”
Mai Ding raised his head, and the tears that had been on the verge of spilling immediately retreated. Oh, you’re back? What kind of opening line is that?
“Y-you… Weren’t you just…? So you’re not angry anymore?”
“Angry about what?”
Had everything that happened just now been a dream? No, that was impossible.
“Just now at the club, weren’t you…” The more Mai Ding thought about it, the less he understood what was going on. Did An Zi Yan have a split personality or something?
An Zi Yan sat up, placed the MP3 player on the coffee table, and said with perfect nonchalance, “I was only teasing you. Don’t take it seriously.”
I was only teasing you. Don’t take it seriously. I was only teasing you. Don’t take it seriously.
The sentence spun around and around Mai Ding’s ears like a curse until his head was dizzy. It took him a long time to come back to his senses and realize that once again—yet again—An Zi Yan had played him for a fool. He grabbed whatever was within reach and started throwing things at him. “You rotten bastard! You tricked me again! Are you bored? Are you five years old? You’re still using this lousy trick? You little Japanese bastard—may any son you have be born without an asshole and any daughter without a pussy!”
An Zi Yan caught the things Mai Ding threw at him one after another. “Watch your language.”
“How am I supposed to have any manners when I’m with you? Was I born with such a miserable fate that I’m destined to be tormented by you? I can get genuinely angry too, you know! Just wait. You wait and see! One day you’re going to end up with the ugliest woman in the entire world!” Mai Ding had always had one very obvious flaw: whenever he became angry enough to start cursing, he completely lost control of his mouth.
While Mai Ding was still in the middle of his outburst, An Zi Yan suddenly said, “Grandpa called me just now. He wants me to bring you over to see him tomorrow.”
“Take a dog to see him. I’m busy.” Only after Mai Ding finished saying it did his brain finally receive the information contained in An Zi Yan’s sentence. He froze in the middle of whatever he had been doing, as though someone had pressed pause on a television and stopped every movement halfway.
“Y-you’re lying, right?”
“When have I ever lied to you?”
“When haven’t you lied to me?” Still, An Zi Yan never joked about his family. This seemed… real.
Mai Ding immediately panicked. He covered his face with both hands and darted back and forth around the living room. “Why is this so sudden? What am I supposed to do? Do I need to prepare something? What does your grandfather like? What does he hate? What should I wear? What kind of present should I bring?”
“Why are you so nervous? He doesn’t eat people.”
“He raised someone as goddamn awful as you. Maybe he does eat people.”
“Then bring him some human flesh.”
“Stop joking around! I’m meeting your family. Can you please be serious?”
“Fine, fine. Figure it out yourself.”
⸻
Mai Ding barely slept that night. The moment he got home, he searched online for the hairstyles elderly people liked most and what kinds of clothes they preferred. He went out for a haircut, bought new clothes, and planned to buy fruit and a gift basket first thing the next morning. Even after preparing everything, however, he still could not relax. He had heard about An Zi Yan’s grandfather countless times. This was the man who had raised An Zi Yan, and he was also the person who had made it possible for Mai Ding and An Zi Yan to remain together. Mai Ding absolutely could not afford to make a mess of an occasion like this.
He fussed over everything until late into the night before exhaustion finally forced him to sleep. The next morning, he woke naturally without needing an alarm. His parents were still asleep, so he left a note on the table, checked himself in the mirror, and went out. After buying a huge pile of things, he hurried to An Zi Yan’s place, only to find that An Zi Yan was still asleep at that hour.
Mai Ding shook An Zi Yan with all his strength. “Hurry up and wake up! What time are we going over? We can’t be late, or I’ll ruin his first impression of me.”
An Zi Yan opened his eyes and looked Mai Ding up and down. “Why are you dressed like Sun Yat-sen?”
Elio’s Notes: Sun Yat-sen was a major political figure in modern Chinese history. The formal Zhongshan suit takes its Chinese name from him, so An Zi Yan is mocking Mai Ding for dressing in an excessively stiff, old-fashioned, statesmanlike way.
“What do you know? Older people like things that look dignified and proper.”
“It’s certainly proper. Tuck a folder under your arm and you’ll look ready to become a great national leader.”
Mai Ding went over to the mirror and examined himself from every angle. “You really think this looks bad?”
“Aren’t you hot wearing that much?”
“I’m about to meet your grandfather. Who has time to worry about whether I’m hot?”
“Whatever.” An Zi Yan rolled over and went back to sleep. Mai Ding remained in front of the mirror practicing smiles, then extended his hand toward his reflection. “Hello, Grandpa. I’m Mai Ding… No, no, no. That sounds stupid.”
“Grandpa, how has your health been lately? Have you been feeling uncomfortable anywhere? Peh, peh! Doesn’t that sound like I’m deliberately cursing him?”
“Wow, Grandpa, I thought you were An Zi Yan’s older brother. How can you look so young? No, no, that’s much too fake. There isn’t a trace of sincerity in it.”
“Ha ha! So An Zi Yan is your grandson? Ha ha ha ha… That makes me sound even more like an idiot. What am I laughing at? What am I supposed to do?”
“Idiot,” An Zi Yan muttered quietly beneath the blanket.
“You won’t help me and you’re still insulting me? What if your grandfather doesn’t like me and refuses to let the two of us stay together? This is a very serious problem.”
An Zi Yan finally got out of bed. With Mai Ding making this much noise, there was no way he could continue sleeping.
Mai Ding stood in front of An Zi Yan and struck what he apparently imagined was a charming pose. “Hello, I’m Mai Ding. I’m a good person. What do you think?”
An Zi Yan looked at Mai Ding’s stiff posture and equally stiff smile. “Too affected.”
“You’re really picky.”
“You’re already pretty likable when you act like yourself. Just stay that way.”
Mai Ding had not expected An Zi Yan to suddenly say something like that at all. Unable to handle it, he blushed and smacked An Zi Yan. “What are you doing? Saying romantic things first thing in the morning when I already have so many things to worry about. You’re just creating more trouble for me. You have absolutely no consideration.” His little heart was indeed pounding furiously at that moment.
An Zi Yan shrugged and started changing clothes. Mai Ding asked again, “You really think I’m likable?”
“Why else would I have fallen for you?”
Mai Ding shook his head in disbelief. Today was neither his birthday nor was he sick. Had An Zi Yan taken some strange pill? He decided to confirm it one more time. “Then what do you like about me?”
“Lots of things. Your flaws, your good points—I like all of them.”
Mai Ding collapsed onto the bed and writhed around. “I can’t take this. I’m going to throw up. You really aren’t suited to saying gentle things like that. Tear off your mask! You’re not An Zi Yan at all!”
“I’m only practicing. At the very least, we have to pretend we have a good relationship in front of Grandpa.”
“How tragic. We actually have to pretend we have a good relationship. Just how bad are we normally?”
“Not bad. Every day, I devote my entire life to loving you.”
“An Zi Yan, I seriously despise this little act you’re putting on.”
Still, Mai Ding could not entirely blame An Zi Yan. The two of them normally spent most of their time bickering. If they behaved the same way in front of Grandpa, it would be terribly inappropriate, especially when Grandpa’s health was important.
At that moment, Mai Ding was standing outside Grandpa An’s home. It was an imposing house. According to An Zi Yan, Grandpa lived there alone, which meant An Zi Yan’s parents would not be present. That allowed Mai Ding to relax a little, but his palms were still sweating with nerves because he was terrified that one careless sentence might ruin everything. He stood at the door for a moment, then suddenly turned around and ran.
“You—”
An Zi Yan chased after him and caught the back of his clothes. Mai Ding struggled. “Let go! I want to go home.”
“Too late.”
“I’m scared.”
An Zi Yan took Mai Ding’s hand, and the warmth of his fingers spread into Mai Ding’s palm. “I’m here. What are you afraid of?”
An Zi Yan rang the bell. A housekeeper opened the door, and when he saw An Zi Yan, he smiled warmly. “You’re back. Your grandfather has been waiting for quite a while.”
“Mm.”
Mai Ding looked around the house. There were quite a few people inside, all of them apparently responsible for Grandpa’s daily care or for cleaning the house. In the living room, a white-haired old man wearing reading glasses was reading the newspaper. An Zi Yan pulled the retreating Mai Ding toward him.
“Grandpa.”
Grandpa An looked up with a broad smile. He appeared to be a kind old man, although from his features it was not difficult to tell that he must have been extremely handsome when he was younger. Grandpa nodded at An Zi Yan, then looked at Mai Ding. “So this is the one?”
An Zi Yan squeezed Mai Ding’s hand. “Say hello.”
Only then did Mai Ding come back to his senses. He stammered, “Y-you… I… um… I’m Grandpa.”
An Zi Yan stared at the hopelessly flustered Mai Ding, which only made Mai Ding panic even more. “N-no, not me. I mean… Grandpa, how much longer can you… can you live?”
“No! What I meant was… Grandpa, you… you’ve already lived long enough.”
An Zi Yan clenched his jaw. “He’ll definitely live longer than you.”
Grandpa An continued smiling and gestured for the two of them to sit. “You don’t have to be this frightened. It’s all right. Sit down and eat something first.”
Mai Ding was so anxious he was nearly in tears. He wanted to pick up the fruit knife on the table and stab himself straight through the throat.
“Grandpa, I’ll pour you some water.” An Zi Yan picked up his grandfather’s cup.
“You can let somebody else do that.”
“It’s fine.”
What the hell? Was this for real? Mai Ding had never once enjoyed treatment like this. His respect for Grandpa An instantly soared. In front of his grandfather, An Zi Yan had somehow transformed into a gentle, wonderful person, a sight so rare it might occur only once every thousand years. Forget voluntarily pouring water—if somebody else told An Zi Yan to get them a drink, he would probably stuff that person’s corpse into the water. Yet here he was now. Mai Ding could barely believe his eyes and once again despised An Zi Yan for being such a hypocrite. Of course, after all the outrageous things Mai Ding himself had just said, it felt as though the entire world had started spinning backward.
So you really do have a kind side, even if that side is very, very, very, very small.
And please forgive me for being so clumsy. I love you too much, so everything connected to you matters to me too.
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