CU – Chapter 4: The Yanei Wants to Change Careers Part I

Fu Xi Yan said, “An inch of time is worth an inch of gold. Let’s save ourselves some gold and make it best two out of three. We’ll take turns setting the target, and whoever scores the most hits wins.”

Chu Shao Yang’s claim that he “knew a little about all eighteen weapons” had been deliberate exaggeration. There was at least one major realm between him and Fu Xi Yan, so the choice of weapon hardly mattered.

“Agreed.”

“I’m fat, so I get to go first.” Fu Xi Yan ran straight to one of the targets, struggled to lift it, then shuffled forward in tiny, laborious steps until he stopped less than seven feet from Chu Shao Yang. After pausing to catch his breath, he announced, “We’ll use the first round to set the standard. This should do!”

The Fu faction had strength in numbers, so no one else dared criticize him outright. Their contemptuous looks, however, plainly said—

This?

This?

This?!

Someone from the Chu faction finally voiced everyone’s thoughts. “Isn’t that distance a little too childish?”

Fu Xi Yan glanced at him and shook his head, as though thinking, Honestly, what am I supposed to do with this troublesome little minx? Then, ever receptive to advice, he shifted the target one inch farther away.

The man’s face twitched. “Could Guard Fu be afraid?”

Fu Xi Yan ignored him and turned to Chu Shao Yang. “If I were afraid, I wouldn’t have agreed to compete with you. Right?”

The implication was obvious: if Chu Shao Yang admitted he was afraid, Fu Xi Yan would happily throw the whole match away and refuse to continue.

Chu Shao Yang studied the target and believed he understood Fu Xi Yan’s plan. If the challenge was simple enough, the difference between their performances would be negligible. It was like asking two adults to compete using problems such as one plus one and two plus two. Who could possibly lose?

But Fu Xi Yan’s rules contained an obvious weakness.

They would alternate setting the challenge. Even if the first round ended in a draw, Chu Shao Yang controlled the second. One draw and one victory would already place the match in his hands.

He smiled. “Naturally. Brother Fu is skilled enough to fear nothing.”

Fu Xi Yan nodded in satisfaction. “Next, we choose our weapons.”

Suspecting that Fu Xi Yan might tamper with them, Chu Shao Yang said, “Brother Fu, please choose first.”

Fu Xi Yan did not stand on ceremony. He selected a bow and arrows and weighed them in his hands. When Chu Shao Yang picked up another bow, Fu Xi Yan smiled. “Inspect it properly. A true man can’t start inventing faults and demanding a new weapon halfway through.”

Chu Shao Yang was already suspicious. Hearing that, he examined his bow and arrows even more carefully.

The Chu faction member who had accused Fu Xi Yan of being frightened suddenly went to the target. Muttering, “There’s so much dust on this thing,” he ran his hands over it from top to bottom, then gave Chu Shao Yang a small shake of his head.

Chu Shao Yang wondered, Is the trick hidden in Fu Xi Yan’s bow instead?

But how could Fu Xi Yan have known in advance that he would issue a challenge today?

Suppressing his doubts, Chu Shao Yang calmly gestured. “Please.”

Fu Xi Yan shook his head. “I arrived a few days earlier, so this is my home ground. You’re the guest. You go first.”

Chu Shao Yang gave him a long look, then faced the target, drew the bow, and released.

The arrow flew swiftly into the center of the bull’s-eye.

“Excellent!”

The Chu faction applauded and cheered with tremendous enthusiasm. Fu Xi Yan joined them, clapping just as loudly as anyone else.

Chu Shao Yang remained unmoved. “Brother Fu, your turn.”

“All right. Give me a moment.” Fu Xi Yan nodded.

Chu Shao Yang waited.

When Fu Xi Yan remained motionless, the Chu faction began whispering. The Fu faction was equally baffled, but they could hardly tear down one of their own. Whenever the Chu faction grew too talkative, they glared fiercely instead.

Two mosquitoes circled Chu Shao Yang’s head and died beneath his palm. He wiped the blood away and watched the surrounding crowd grow increasingly impatient while Fu Xi Yan remained perfectly still. Concerned that Zhu Yu Da might return with Fu Xuan and ruin everything, he finally urged, “Brother Fu?”

Fu Xi Yan wore an inscrutable expression. “Wait a little longer.”

Someone from the Chu faction could not resist saying, “You aren’t waiting for your uncle, are you?”

Fu Xi Yan thought about it. “That interpretation isn’t entirely wrong.”

The Chu faction immediately began mocking him. “At your age, you still hide behind your uncle? And you call yourself a man?”

Fu Xi Yan replied modestly, “The Standards for Students says, ‘Whether eating or drinking, sitting or walking, elders go first and juniors follow.’ Perhaps my upbringing was simply too strict and I learned my lessons too well. Unlike your noble household, where no one respects age or rank and the uncle spends his days following behind his nephew’s backside. If that is what qualifies someone as a man, I freely admit defeat.”

Elio’s Notes: The Standards for Students is a traditional instructional text emphasizing filial piety, discipline, and proper behavior toward elders.

The speaker’s face instantly turned red. “That isn’t what I meant.”

Fu Xi Yan pretended not to hear and waved behind the crowd. “Ah, Uncle Zhu. You’re back.”

Everyone turned. Zhu Yu Da, who had quietly slipped away earlier, was pushing through the crowd toward them.

There were no reinforcements behind him.

Now the Chu faction was confused. Had they wronged Fu Xi Yan? Was this fool genuinely reckless enough to accept a challenge from someone an entire realm above him?

Chu Shao Yang found himself viewing Fu Xi Yan in a new light. To knowingly face an opponent he could not defeat required some backbone.

Fu Xi Yan appeared unsurprised by everyone reassessing him. He handed the bow he had been holding to someone nearby and stretched out a hand toward Zhu Yu Da.

Zhu Yu Da reached behind his back and produced a small slingshot and several pellets.

Fu Xi Yan ran his fingers over its frame and praised it. “Good stuff.”

“Of course it is.” Zhu Yu Da had complaints piled to his throat, but with the Chu faction glaring nearby, he hurriedly amended his tone. “It took me the strength of nine oxen and two tigers to get this. Don’t fail us now.”

“Relax.” Fu Xi Yan tested the band. “Go pull out Chu Shao Yang’s arrow.”

Zhu Yu Da glanced at the target. At this distance, Fu Xi Yan’s chances should be excellent. He eagerly ran over and removed the arrow.

Fu Xi Yan raised the slingshot and tested his aim. Only then did he appear to remember Chu Shao Yang. “They’re both shooting weapons. You don’t mind if I use this, do you?”

Chu Shao Yang finally believed he had seen through the entire trick.

Compared with a proper bow, a slingshot was small and effortless. It lacked range, but at close distance it was much easier to control. One look at Fu Xi Yan’s smooth palms revealed that he rarely trained. No wonder he wanted to take a shortcut.

But crooked little tricks meant nothing before absolute strength.

Chu Shao Yang pulled at the corner of his mouth. “Use whatever you like.”

Without waiting for anyone else, Fu Xi Yan raised the slingshot, drew back the band, aimed, and released.

The pellet shot forward and slipped cleanly into the hole left by Chu Shao Yang’s arrowhead. It wedged there like a nail driven into the target.

“Excellent!”

Zhu Yu Da led the applause. The rest of the Fu faction joined in, albeit somewhat reluctantly. The atmosphere immediately came alive, their cheering no weaker than the Chu faction’s had been.

The Chu faction stared in silence.

No wonder he had Shao Yang’s arrow removed. He just needed a hole to stick his ball into!

They frantically signaled Chu Shao Yang, hoping he would rise in fury and condemn such brazen opportunism.

Chu Shao Yang remained calm. The first round had merely ended in a draw. The second belonged to him.

He smiled. “My turn to set the challenge.”

Fu Xi Yan nodded sweetly. “Go ahead.”

Chu Shao Yang pointed toward a row of low walls in the distance. “Let us use the ants on that wall as our targets.”

Fu Xi Yan had expected cruelty, but not cruelty of this degree. The wall stood roughly half a li away. Merely reaching it with an arrow was beyond an ordinary person, and they were expected to strike a moving ant on top of that. There would be no relying on luck in this round.

Several Bone Forging experts present silently measured themselves against the challenge. Even if they had the strength, they lacked the eyesight.

Chu Shao Yang raised his bow and drew until it bent almost to the breaking point.

The arrow flew.

In an instant, it buried itself in the distant wall.

Seeing the confidence on his face, members of the Chu faction immediately suggested, “Let’s all inspect it together.”

The crowd noisily surrounded Chu Shao Yang and Fu Xi Yan as they crossed the training ground. The arrowhead had sunk into the masonry. When Chu Shao Yang pulled it free, half an ant remained stuck to the point.

The Chu faction erupted.

“Excellent! A hero even in his youth!”

“This is beyond piercing a willow leaf from a hundred paces. It’s practically divine!”

“As expected of General Chu’s nephew—a tiger cub from a family of generals!”

Elio’s Notes: “Piercing a willow leaf from a hundred paces” is a traditional expression for extraordinary archery and perfect accuracy.

As the praise continued, every gaze gradually shifted to the nephew of the other general.

Fu Xi Yan remained entirely at ease.

A seasoned professional slacker lived by “one commitment” and “two absolute refusals.”

One commitment: even if a tornado swept him up, he would never let himself be swept into the competitive grind.

Two absolute refusals: never let capitalists manipulate him into overworking, and never let corrupt trends lead him by the nose.

Elio’s Notes: The Chinese word can mean “to roll up,” but in modern slang it refers to destructive overcompetition or “involution.” Fu Xi Yan turns the double meaning into a tornado joke.

He looked sincerely at Chu Shao Yang and said with regret, “I was born compassionate. Sweeping might cost ants their lives, so I never sweep the floor—much less pierce them with arrows. Of course, compassion is merely my personal virtue. I would never use it to morally blackmail anyone else. Brother Chu’s skill is extraordinary and deeply admirable. I concede.”

Elio’s Notes: Fu Xi Yan twists a Buddhist-influenced saying about avoiding harm to ants while sweeping. His lofty “compassion” is really an excuse for never doing chores.

Chu Shao Yang’s smile nearly fell apart. Such sarcasm would have been bad enough from a thin man. But one glance at Fu Xi Yan proved that he was clearly no vegetarian. How could he claim to be merciful? As for refusing to sweep out of compassion, he plainly meant that he spent all day eating and sleeping instead of working!

Fu Xi Yan smiled at him with round, glossy black eyes. “Let’s proceed to the final round.”

Chu Shao Yang returned a stiff smile. “I’m listening.”

Come on, then! Let your daddy see what you can do that I can’t!

“No hurry. Let me think.” Fu Xi Yan beckoned to Zhu Yu Da.

Zhu Yu Da pulled a pear from his sleeve.

Fu Xi Yan looked as though he intended to eat it. Then he glanced at Chu Shao Yang and suddenly narrowed his eyes. “Brother Chu, is that official hat newly made? Why does it have an extra…”

Official gauze hats were made to a uniform pattern. How could his have something extra?

“What?” Seeing Fu Xi Yan crane his neck to peer at the crown of his hat, Chu Shao Yang instinctively lowered his head.

And then—

A pear appeared on top of it.

Fu Xi Yan beamed. “For the third challenge, we’ll use the pear on Brother Chu’s head as the target.”

Chu Shao Yang had clearly met too few shameless people. Fu Xi Yan had grown up having his chair pulled away when he stood during class, his knees buckled from behind during physical education, and his left shoulder tapped while the culprit hid on his right.

He would never have fallen for such a cheap trick.

Chu Shao Yang stiffened and forced out a smile. “Brother Fu, surely you’re joking.”

Even as he spoke, his mind began calculating how he could possibly shoot the pear on his own head. Drawing the bow normally would not work—the arrow could not turn around. Reversing the bow was impossible because Northern Zhou bows were too large to draw from that position. Unless he stepped on the string with one foot, stretched the other backward to adjust the angle, held the bow in one hand, and somehow used the other to…

The imagined posture alone nearly tore him apart.

Fu Xi Yan was despicable and shameless. Chu Shao Yang could not allow himself to be dragged along by the nose.

He reached up to remove the pear, but Fu Xi Yan caught his arm firmly. Blinking with an expression both innocent and shameless, Fu Xi Yan said, “We agreed that I would set challenges one and three, while you set the second. How can you break your word?”

“This is a martial contest. Martial skill should naturally determine the result. How can you resort to such low and underhanded tricks?” Chu Shao Yang had clearly become angry enough to abandon politeness.

Fu Xi Yan smiled. “I remember you saying we should ‘exchange a few moves.’ An exchange can be literary, martial, or a battle of wits. They’re all contests.”

Chu Shao Yang stared at him, then slowly pulled his lips into a smile. “Brother Fu makes an excellent point.”

The Chu faction had been signaling until they were nearly cross-eyed. Now they became genuinely anxious. “Shao Yang, you absolutely mustn’t—”

Fu Xi Yan cheerfully cut them off. “Is Brother Chu admitting defeat?”

The Chu faction continued chanting “Don’t! Don’t! Don’t do it!” in the background.

Chu Shao Yang said, “Even if I cannot do it, can Brother Fu?”

“Since Brother Chu has conceded, it’s my turn.” Fu Xi Yan held the slingshot in one hand and reached for the pear with the other.

Chu Shao Yang dodged.

Keeping the pear balanced on his head, he said expressionlessly, “The pear for the third challenge should remain on my head, shouldn’t it?”

Fu Xi Yan slowly withdrew his hand. “Oh? What exactly does Brother Chu mean?”

Without warning, he raised the slingshot and aimed.

Chu Shao Yang seemed to anticipate the move. He launched himself into the air like a great roc spreading its wings, sweeping over Fu Xi Yan and the entire crowd in a single soaring leap.

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