ZL – Chapter 46: So Cunning!

A few days later, everyone was preparing to leave, while Zhi Li would be staying behind. Everyone was still hesitating over how to say goodbye when Lan Yin stretched lazily. A trace of sleepiness lingered on her beautiful face as she looked at the group before her and said coldly, “How much longer are you planning to stay?” There it was again—the Lan Yin style of wounding people with words, leaving not the slightest room for courtesy.

“The New Year is almost here. We’re planning to leave today.”

“Then hurry up.”

“Y-Yes.”

As Ke Bu packed his luggage, emotions welled up inside him, growing stronger and stronger. He knew exactly what this feeling was—reluctance. He knew they couldn’t be together every day. He knew they could still keep in touch by phone. He knew they would see each other again once school started. But he had never expected that parting with Zhi Li would become such a difficult thing. If Zhi Li would just say one thing—even a single sentence asking him to stay—then he would stay. After all, he didn’t want to go home. He didn’t want to return to that cold, loveless family.

Yet Zhi Li’s behavior remained as calm as ever, leaving Ke Bu somewhat disappointed. It seemed that Zhi Li had no intention of asking him to stay. Carrying his luggage, Ke Bu stood with the others at the villa entrance. Lan Yin stood before them, and Gong Zhu politely spoke up, “Then we’ll be going now.”

“Or did you expect me to see you off? The next time you come, whether you bring your heads or gifts is up to you.”

“Gifts. We’ll definitely bring gifts when we come to visit you,” Zhang Luo immediately replied in his usual sycophantic manner.

Ke Bu looked at Lan Yin and was about to say something when she cut him off. “If it’s something mushy, then keep your mouth shut.” Having been read so accurately, Ke Bu obediently closed his mouth. This woman was even harder to deal with than Zhi Li.

Before they left, Lan Yin seemed to be discussing something with Su You Yan. Su You Yan nodded repeatedly like a child receiving instruction. Surely that witch wasn’t teaching Su You Yan something evil? Just thinking about it gave him goosebumps.

The group headed down the mountain toward the train station. Zhi Li and Ke Bu walked at the very back. Carrying his luggage, Ke Bu hinted to the hopelessly unromantic Zhi Li, “This luggage is really heavy.”

Zhi Li naturally took the luggage from Ke Bu’s hands. Are you really this dense, you idiot? Can’t you see it? The feeling of wanting to stay by his side was almost suffocating him, yet somehow it still hadn’t reached Zhi Li. You’re so calm while I’m panicking. There’s no way you don’t see it. You’re Zhi Li.

“Say something,” Ke Bu requested in the most indirect way possible.

“Say what?”

“Anything.”

“What do you want to hear?”

“If I tell you what I want to hear, will you say it?”

Zhi Li fell silent. Was he doing this on purpose? What was that silence supposed to mean at a time like this? Ke Bu’s stomach tightened with nervousness.

“If you ask me to stay, I can stay.”

The words were half sincere, half a lie.

“I won’t say it.”

“Is that so? Then I really was being sentimental for nothing.”

Ke Bu snatched his luggage back from Zhi Li’s hands. He was angry at Zhi Li’s attitude—perhaps not just a little angry, but very angry. Unwilling to look at Zhi Li any longer, he strode ahead on his own like a child throwing a tantrum.

Zhi Li walked up beside Ke Bu. “It’s about time you faced reality, Ke Bu. Your parents have been divorced for years. How much longer are you going to keep running away?” As always, Zhi Li said such things bluntly. Ke Bu stopped walking, and the luggage in his hand fell to the ground. Right. This was Zhi Li. He could see through Ke Bu’s sincerity just as easily as he could see through his lies. Another reason he wanted to stay here was because he didn’t want to go home.

Bending down, Zhi Li picked up the luggage from the ground. Ke Bu stared blankly at him. What kind of feelings was he supposed to have toward Zhi Li right now? The panic of being exposed, or the anger of being seen through? “Even if I face reality, so what? Nothing will change, will it?”

“Since you already know nothing will change, then why are you still running?”

“What is this? We’re about to be separated, and this is what you want to talk about? You know perfectly well that this isn’t what I want to hear. Aren’t there nicer things you could say?”

“Changing the subject again? Even if you’re separated from them, they’re still your parents. What are you accomplishing by avoiding them? Face your own feelings properly. How much longer are you going to leave this problem unresolved? Just because you don’t want to hear something, I’m not allowed to say it? What am I, Ke Bu? An excuse for you to avoid reality?”

This time, it was Ke Bu who fell silent. Something seemed lodged in his chest. How could he not know? Everything Zhi Li said and did was for his own good. For all these years, whenever he thought about his parents’ constant fighting and eventual divorce, he found himself unable to forgive them and unable to forgive himself. Only when he stayed by Zhi Li’s side did it feel as though none of it had ever happened. And yet his chest ached as though there were no escape. The people walking ahead sensed that the atmosphere behind them had become somewhat delicate, and tactfully chose not to interfere. It wasn’t until they reached the train station and everyone exchanged simple farewells that Ke Bu grabbed his luggage and walked away. After only a few steps, he turned around. Zhi Li was still standing there, standing among the crowd, yet so conspicuous, so radiant. Throwing down his luggage, Ke Bu rushed back and pounded Zhi Li’s shoulder with all his strength as he vented, “You’re an asshole, Zhi Li. You’re an asshole! Talking about facing reality and all that—you shouldn’t have said those things. How are you going to take responsibility for how I feel afterward, you asshole?! I’m really angry at you, really angry! I’m about to leave, and you’re acting so casually. You’re such a bastard! What am I supposed to do with a bastard like you?” All that anger existed only because he couldn’t bear to leave Zhi Li’s side. Even while throwing a tantrum, he still couldn’t stop wanting to be with him.

Zhi Li caught hold of Ke Bu’s wrist. “The day we met, you made a request. We were too young back then, so I couldn’t make that promise.”

How could Ke Bu possibly forget?

Ke Bu looked at Zhi Li through the gaps between his fingers. At last, he understood why he had wanted to talk to him, why he had wanted so desperately to keep him by his side.

It turned out that what he saw in Zhi Li was the same color as himself.

“Hey, Zhi Li, my name is Ke Bu. Remember that name, okay?”

“Hey, Zhi Li, you’ll stay with me, right?”

“How long?”

Ke Bu thought about it for a while before shamelessly asking for the impossible.

“Stay until I grow old. Old enough to forget there was ever someone like you.”

Slowly, Zhi Li spoke each word. What words could possibly sound so beautiful?

“Now I can give you my answer. I’ll stay with you until you’re old, until you’re so old that you can no longer remember who I am.”

“You…”

“So no matter what happens in the future, I’ll take responsibility for your feelings.”

The words he had been waiting for were even more beautiful than he had imagined. Some liquid blurred Ke Bu’s vision, making it impossible for him to see Zhi Li clearly.

Too cunning.

You’re really too cunning.

How am I supposed to get through the days without you after saying something like that?

A child throwing a tantrum only needs a single sweet piece of candy.

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