Chu Hao Yu began drafting his National Day vacation plans in the dorm room, muttering to himself, “Day one, go to the amusement park to look at boobs. Day two, go to the park to look at boobs. Day three, stay home and look at boobs on the computer…”
“And that’s exactly why you’ll never get a girlfriend.” Ke Bu lay on his bed staring at the ceiling.
“But I’m pretty handsome too, okay? Could it be girls all like the Zhi Li type? I heard a lot of people invited Zhi Li out during National Day.”
“Don’t blame your problems on Zhi Li. Try looking for the issue in yourself.” Ke Bu spoke with the tone of someone seasoned by life.
“I feel like you’re really biased toward Zhi Li,” Chu Hao Yu remarked. Ke Bu didn’t deny it at all. Instead, he answered as if it were perfectly natural: “Between you and Zhi Li, of course I think Zhi Li’s better.”
“You really crushed me without hesitation. Then what about Zhi Li and Gong Zhu?”
“Zhi Li.”
“Then Zhi Li and Ying Xiu Jie?”
“Zhi Li.”
“Then Zhi Li and the chancellor?”
“What kind of comparison is that?”
“Zhi Li.”
“Then Zhi Li and Robert Pattinson? He was ranked the world’s sexiest man of 2012 by Glamourmagazine.”
“Zhi Li.” Comparing him to someone so far removed from reality was ridiculous.
“Is there any man in your eyes better than Zhi Li?” Chu Hao Yu asked directly. The question actually made Ke Bu think for a moment. Finally, a sly expression appeared on his face. “Then there’s only me.”
Throughout the entire National Day holiday, Ke Bu practically spent all his time sleeping, gaming, and watching television. Around noon, his phone’s vibration woke him up. He stretched a hand out from under the blanket, picked up the phone, and mumbled vaguely, “Hello?”
“You’re still sleeping?” Gong Zhu’s gentle, sweet voice came through the phone, making Ke Bu shiver under the blanket. Every detail of Gong Zhu’s existence constantly reinforced his position as a top-tier shou.
“If I’m not sleeping, what else am I supposed to do?”
“It’s already the last day of vacation. Don’t you think spending your youth sleeping is a waste? Once you die, you’ll have all the time in the world to sleep.”
“Your lectures are painful. What is it?” Ke Bu sat up and pulled open the curtains.
“It’s the last day, so Ying Xiu Jie said he wants to take us to the place where he trains.”
“A training ground? Don’t tell me we’re all supposed to wear shorts and go ‘ha! ha!’ while punching wooden posts, stand under waterfalls enduring the impact, cover our faces with black cloth while jumping through trees, or pull swords from our waists and slash once before an entire forest collapses. Then after National Day vacation ends, seven muscular men and women emerge from the shadows. Don’t dream.”
“I’ll send you the address. Hurry up and come.” It seemed Gong Zhu had somewhat mastered the art of talking to Ke Bu—at times like this, the correct strategy was simply to ignore him. Ke Bu hung up and looked outside at the weather. It was no longer hot this time of year, just right. Zhi Li’s temperament had also calmed down considerably along with the cooling weather.
When Ke Bu arrived at the address Gong Zhu had given him, even he was surprised. It was impressive that Ying Xiu Jie had managed to find a place like this. It resembled a private little courtyard. An open space paved with pebbles was surrounded by lush green shrubs, with a few abandoned exercise structures scattered around. Zhi Li sat on a bench holding a sketchbook, drawing seriously. Ke Bu walked over and stood behind him, lowering his head to look at the sketchbook.
“Honestly, after all these years, I’ve never understood what you’re drawing.” Ke Bu took the opportunity to knock Zhi Li down a peg and dampen his confidence a little.
Zhi Li calmly looked at the drawing. “I’ve never understood it either.”
“But you’re the one who drew it!”
Once everyone had arrived, Ying Xiu Jie carried over a suspiciously large cardboard box and placed it in front of them. “These are all from my private collection. I finally get the chance to bring them out and play with them.” The moment he said that, Ke Bu’s sense of foreboding shot straight upward. Judging by Ying Xiu Jie’s excited expression and his hot-blooded personality, this was definitely suspicious. Sure enough, the moment the box was opened, Gong Zhu and Chu Hao Yu gasped in amazement. Even Ke Bu’s eyes flickered slightly—after all, they were boys.
Inside the box were deluxe water guns, each about seventy centimeters long, with exquisite craftsmanship. But now wasn’t the time to admire them.
“You called us all here just to play with water guns? Are you in elementary school?”
“Men should play with guns!” Ying Xiu Jie declared righteously.
“There are two girls here too,” Ke Bu reminded him.
“Women should play with guns even more.” The moment Ying Xiu Jie made that suggestive statement, Chu Hao Yu raised a brow and high-fived him. “Brother, well said.”
Zhou Xin He’s face immediately turned bright red from embarrassment. Su You Yan raised her head coldly. “If it’s a good gun, maybe it’s worth playing with. But…” Her gaze swept over them like a scanner.
Gong Zhu immediately covered himself with both hands. “Wow, your eyes are so obscene.”
Ke Bu turned around. He absolutely did not want Su You Yan to look at him and reveal a disappointed expression. A man’s dignity was important. Because of this topic, he looked toward Zhi Li’s lower half, which was covered by the sketchbook. Zhi Li tilted his head slightly and moved the sketchbook away.
“Want to look?”
“Who wants to look? Cover it back up!” Ke Bu felt the blood rushing to his face.
“Back to the main topic. Everyone gets one water gun. I’ve already mixed different colored dyes into the water and filled them up. There are refill buckets over there too. The rules are simple: if you manage to spray your color onto everyone else, you win. On the other hand, whoever ends up with the least amount of their own color on others loses. The loser buys dinner for everyone today, and the winner gets to decide what everyone eats. Time limit: sixty minutes.”
“The dye you used can wash off, right?” Gong Zhu asked cautiously. Ying Xiu Jie fell silent.
“You’re only thinking about that now?! What are we supposed to do about our clothes?” Ke Bu nearly grabbed Ying Xiu Jie by the throat.
Ying Xiu Jie shrugged, his golden hair dazzlingly bright. “Well, then just protect yourselves and try not to get sprayed!”
“You make it sound so easy.”
Pretending not to hear him, Ying Xiu Jie handed a water gun to everyone. Most of them looked rather uninterested. Ke Bu only wanted to finish this game quickly. He wasn’t too worried about having to pay for dinner—after all, Zhou Xin He and Gong Zhu were definitely at the bottom. Su You Yan’s abilities were unknown, but she was still a delicate-looking girl. He himself should rank somewhere around the middle-upper tier. Besides, he didn’t really care what they ate anyway. After analyzing everyone’s combat power, Ke Bu relaxed.
The moment Ying Xiu Jie shouted “Start!”, everyone scattered to find cover—except Zhi Li, who remained standing out in the open.
Ke Bu grinned darkly. Since you’re this defenseless, I’ll start with you.
Hiding behind a tree, he aimed at Zhi Li. But just as he pulled the trigger and water shot out, Zhi Li stepped forward. Ke Bu fired again—Zhi Li bent down to place his sketchbook aside. He fired again—Zhi Li moved to the right to set down the water gun on the bench as well, then calmly sat down.
Coincidence?
This string of coincidences was far too suspicious.
“Heh heh, found Ke Bu.” Ying Xiu Jie had somehow climbed up a tree and aimed at Ke Bu. Ke Bu dodged immediately. This idiot—who announces himself before shooting? He’s got the order completely backwards. Screams from Gong Zhu and Zhou Xin He came from two different directions. Following Gong Zhu’s voice, Ke Bu hurried over, planning to give him another shot. Instead, he found Gong Zhu sitting on the ground clutching his ankle, looking pitifully at him.
“M-My ankle… I twisted it.”
“You okay?” Ke Bu stepped forward. Unexpectedly, Gong Zhu raised his water gun with an apologetic expression. “Sorry, Ke Bu.”
A streak of green splashed across Ke Bu’s white shirt. Damn it—he’d fallen right into the trap of the top-tier shou’s weak-and-fragile routine. Just as Ke Bu raised his gun to retaliate, Gong Zhu had already vanished.
Having learned his lesson, Ke Bu advanced much more cautiously. More than half the time had already passed. He spotted Zhou Xin He in the distance and quietly prepared to pull the trigger, but Zhou Xin He suddenly spun around with her eyes tightly shut, screaming, “Don’t come closer! Don’t come closer! My new skirt!” She had completely lost control. Red water sprayed all over Ke Bu’s face. He spat out a mouthful of red-tinted water, looking like a terminally ill patient coughing blood. My luck this year really has hit rock bottom. By the time he recovered, there was no one left in sight.
I wonder how Zhi Li’s doing. Come to think of it, he hadn’t seen Su You Yan anywhere either. Returning to his original objective, Ke Bu headed back to the open clearing—only to discover Zhi Li still sitting there drawing. Why? Why is nobody attacking this guy?!
The cold laughter of Chu Hao Yu and Ying Xiu Jie suddenly rang out.
Damn it. An ambush.
Ke Bu looked toward the sound. Apparently the two of them had already sprayed each other, which meant they no longer posed any threat to one another. And now they were teaming up against him! If he got hit two more times, his chances of losing would skyrocket.
For some reason, Ke Bu’s mind went completely blank. Like someone desperately clutching at a lifeline, he shouted at the top of his lungs:
“Zhi Li!”
Two streams of brightly colored water shot toward him. Just as Ke Bu shut his eyes, someone shoved him aside. When he opened them again, Zhi Li was standing beside him, colorful dye splattered across his clothes.
“Tch. Prince Charming came to save the day. What a shame.”
Zhi Li lowered his head to look at his stained clothes, then glanced at the two of them and delivered a solemn threat:
“This is my favorite outfit.”
With both hands empty, he walked toward them. The two boys retreated step by step, preparing to run, but Zhi Li grabbed Chu Hao Yu first, effortlessly snatched the water gun from his hands, and sprayed dye straight into his face. Then he hurled the gun at Ying Xiu Jie, who hadn’t managed to run very far. Ying Xiu Jie collapsed instantly with a cry.
Ke Bu walked up beside Zhi Li. “It doesn’t count unless the water gets sprayed onto their bodies.”
“I see.”
“Were you even listening to what I just said?!” Seeing the dye stains on Zhi Li’s clothes, Ke Bu frowned slightly, feeling a little guilty toward him.
When the game finally ended, everyone dragged themselves back to the clearing looking half-dead from exhaustion.
“Looks like that’s all for today.”
Su You Yan calmly returned as well, still holding her book.
“Where did you even go?”
“I found somewhere quiet to read.”
Su You Yan hadn’t played at all. Only the other five idiots had been running around everywhere until they were practically dying from exhaustion. And the saddest part of the entire farce was that by the end, everyone looked like filthy alley cats, too exhausted even to eat and too ashamed to show their faces in public. So dinner ended up being quietly abandoned altogether.
Ke Bu followed behind Zhi Li as they headed toward the bus stop.
“Um, Zhi Li… sorry about earlier. I got your favorite clothes stained like that.”
“What?”
“So you were lying just now!” Ke Bu shouted with his mouth wide open. Seeing Ke Bu’s face covered in bright red dye, looking like a vicious ghost that had crawled out of a grave, Zhi Li couldn’t help laughing softly.
“What kind of face is that?”
The feeling of his heart racing swept through the entire space. Ke Bu stared blankly for a moment, then grabbed the corner of Zhi Li’s shirt and buried his face against it, wiping the dye off.
“Don’t laugh.”
Like children playing around, like children smiling, like children talking to each other—yet their feelings burned far more intensely than a child’s ever could.
The November sky was no longer as vividly blue. Ke Bu tugged at his collar. He never expected that this kind of drifting-through-life way of passing time would actually go by so unbelievably fast…
Next
Futile Devices Scans 
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