Their first encounter was relatively peaceful. One evening, Cui Dong Dong was fooling around with several pretty girls at a “racetrack” somewhere in Kowloon City—the track was merely an ordinary, secluded stretch of road with few pedestrians, which gangsters from all over who enjoyed street racing had jointly taken over. At a fixed time every day, even passersby tactfully took another route. A boy without a helmet appeared on the latest motorcycle model of the time. He made no move, merely watching them from a distance.
Cui Dong Dong swept him an unconcerned glance, put on her helmet, and grinningly asked the pretty girls to bless it with a few “sweet kisses.” The girls rose onto their toes and puckered their lips, planting numerous lipstick marks all over her white helmet with repeated smacks.
Then she took those fragrant, beautiful red lips onto the road with her. The night wind swept past her ears, the slopes rose and plunged beneath her, and the sharp turns brought a fiery thrill. Countless neon lights blazed in a riot of colors in the distance. She twisted the throttle all the way down and surged forward in one exhilarating burst!
Unsurprisingly, she was the first to cross the red line. She easily turned around and rode back, swept an unfamiliar pretty girl serving as the finish-line judge onto her motorcycle, and removed her helmet with a loud laugh. Pinning the girl against the bike, she gave her a French kiss. The spectators hooted and cheered. By the time the kiss ended, the girl’s eyes were moist, her face flushed scarlet, and her bashful beauty beyond description.
Soon afterward, the pretty judge sat behind her, and the two rode back to the starting point together. While the other racers were still fiercely competing, Cui Dong Dong and the girl kissed and teased each other, carrying on with tremendous enthusiasm.
Just as their kisses were producing loud smacking sounds, an abrupt voice said, “I want to race you.”
Cui Dong Dong raised her head impatiently—the girl’s lipstick was still smeared across the corner of her mouth, vivid crimson, making her resemble a handsome vampire who had just fed. “What?”
The handsome young man, whom she had never seen at the racetrack before, said, “You’re the best racer here. I want to race you.”
“Can’t you see I’m busy?” Cui Dong Dong said with an arm around the girl. She then glanced disdainfully at his motorcycle. “A new bike? Go break it in before coming back. Even the worst bike here can outrun yours.”
The young man lowered his head and looked at his motorcycle without saying anything. He mounted it, turned around, and left.
Cui Dong Dong paid him no attention. He was probably some pampered young master from a nearby household who had come to watch the excitement. Half a second later, she had already forgotten the entire interruption and was sweetly discussing with the pretty girl how they would “spend the night” together.
Three days later, she encountered the young man again at the racetrack. Everything on his motorcycle—from the gearbox and clutch to the fuel tank and engine—had undergone bold and expensive modifications. Only its exterior remained mostly unchanged. Unlike the other racers, he had not added anything exaggerated such as gold foil, bull horns, or enormous insect eyes.
Cui Dong Dong circled his bike repeatedly, staring at its exceptionally expensive six-cylinder engine and thinking, Fuck, he really is a young master who never has to worry about money. Should I kidnap him tonight and demand a ransom?
That entirely reasonable idea was regretfully abandoned once she learned that he was the adopted younger brother of the renowned Azure Dragon Boss and the Third Young Master of Xiao Qi Hall.
If he wanted to race, then they would race. Everyone at the track signed a life-or-death waiver. Even if the little rich brat fell apart into seven or eight pieces, Azure Dragon would have no grounds to cause trouble for her.
Expensive equipment was useless without skill. Sure enough, the little rich brat crashed spectacularly on their treacherous track. Riding ahead, Cui Dong Dong heard the sharp screech of brakes and the crash behind her. When she looked back, she saw the young man abandon his motorcycle just before both rider and machine were destroyed. He bounced from the bike onto the ground and then from the ground into the roadside bushes like someone jumping on a trampoline. Fortunately, he was wearing an equally expensive protective suit and helmet. After a while, he crawled out of the bushes by himself, dizzy and disoriented but apparently completely unharmed.
His motorcycle, however, had plunged headfirst into a large stone barrier beside the road, smashing the front and engine to pieces.
The young man removed his helmet and limped over to lift his ruined motorcycle. Although his face was pale, he showed no fear or lingering shock. He did not even bother checking himself for injuries, merely crouching anxiously beside the bike and feeling around it.
Cui Dong Dong turned around and rode back. Remaining seated on her motorcycle, she asked, “Hey, kid, did you come here looking to die?”
Without making a sound, the young man lifted the bike upright. Cui Dong Dong looked him up and down and decided that he probably had not sustained any life-threatening injuries, so she turned to leave. The young man called after her again. “Hey, you’re very skilled. Can you teach me? I’ll acknowledge you as my master.”
Cui Dong Dong removed her helmet and flashed him a false smile, revealing two rows of large white teeth. “I don’t accept disciples. But if you invest five million in my Tanxiang Hall, I can teach you for free.”
The young man furrowed his brows. “I don’t have any money.”
Cui Dong Dong laughed. “You don’t have money? Then how did you replace your engine with that imported German six-cylinder model?”
“I asked the butler to replace it for me,” the young man said, looking both nervous and confused. “Is this very expensive? How much does it cost?”
Cui Dong Dong quoted a figure to the young master, who had clearly never had to calculate expenses in his life. Unexpectedly, his expression immediately became as though heaven and earth had collapsed, his face filled with the horror and fury of someone thinking, What? They actually dared spend that much?! I’m going home to beat someone!
What’s this? So he isn’t actually a wasteful rich brat? Cui Dong Dong thought. But when she looked at the young master’s clothes, figure, complexion, and bearing, she concluded, He certainly looks like someone Azure Dragon burned piles of money to raise.
The young man angrily pushed his motorcycle home. A week later, he appeared at the racetrack again. This time, he had been more restrained and had installed only a four-cylinder engine.
He introduced himself as Liu Yi. He did not share Azure Dragon’s surname; his surname was Xia. He was sixteen years old, several months older than Cui Dong Dong—assuming his birthday truly was June 1st. Cui Dong Dong refused to accept him as her disciple, but he was not discouraged. Every day, he watched from the side of the track, then returned late at night when no one was around to practice repeatedly by himself. This Third Young Master was neither domineering and spoiled nor weak and delicate. Although he spoke bluntly and seemed somewhat foolish, he possessed no schemes or devious thoughts—which naturally made him appear even more foolish. Cui Dong Dong found him interesting, while he thought Cui Dong Dong was impressive. As they continued encountering each other, the two gradually became familiar.
One evening, Liu Yi ate two extra slices of cake at home and arrived at the racetrack late. He discovered Cui Dong Dong fighting several wealthy young masters. The opposing side had brought seven or eight delinquent boys, while Cui Dong Dong had only four or five petite delinquent girls with her. Although each girl was as courageous and skilled at fighting as Cui Dong Dong, their opponents had the advantage in both size and numbers.
Without saying a word, Liu Yi leapt off his motorcycle, charged forward, and smashed one delinquent boy so hard with his helmet that the boy staggered. He bent down, picked up a brick, and joined the fight with a furious roar. This fierce reinforcement came with astonishing momentum. He slapped and kicked wildly, showing no hesitation whatsoever when smashing the brick against someone’s forehead. Cui Dong Dong’s side was greatly encouraged. Fighting shoulder to shoulder with him, they beat the delinquents into fleeing in panic within minutes.
As he left, their leader still could not keep his foul mouth shut. “Fuck! You fucking pervert! Just you wait!”
“Who the fuck are you calling a pervert?!” Cui Dong Dong stood behind him with her hands on her hips and cursed furiously. “Your father must’ve been fucked by a donkey to personally give birth to a bastard like you, born without an asshole so all the shit comes out of your mouth!”
The others had already fled into the distance. Liu Yi wiped away his sweat and asked her, “Why were they fighting you?”
“I slept with his girlfriend.”
“Why are you staring at me? It wasn’t as though I seduced her. That woman threw herself at me. How was I supposed to know she had a boyfriend?”
Liu Yi helplessly wiped away his sweat again. “Don’t you already have several girlfr—several fuck buddies? Can’t you control your dick?”
“What dick?” Cui Dong Dong asked in confusion. “I don’t have one.”
Liu Yi stared at her in astonishment.
The two looked at each other for seven or eight seconds before Cui Dong Dong rolled up her sleeves and lunged at him!
The fight was evenly matched and immensely satisfying. It happened because, until that very day, Liu Yi had believed Cui Dong Dong was a man. They had known each other for two whole months, yet he had never noticed. Even after Cui Dong Dong suddenly attacked, he bewilderedly fought back, and the two completed the entire fight, he still did not understand that Cui Dong Dong was actually a woman.
Cui Dong Dong and Liu Yi beat each other black and blue, neither managing to defeat the other. In the end, they sat beneath a tree together, leaning back and panting heavily.
“You’re quite skilled,” Liu Yi said.
“You’re quite skilled too,” Cui Dong Dong replied.
“But why did you hit me?”
“You said I had a dick.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
Cui Dong Dong released a hopeless sigh, climbed to her feet, and lifted her shirt to reveal the bra underneath. “I’m a woman.”
“…” Liu Yi stared.
His entire face turned scarlet, and he scrambled three meters away on all fours.
“Fuck, are you a virgin?! Have you never seen a woman before?” Cui Dong Dong cursed. “We’ve known each other this long, and you still thought I was a man. Are you blind?”
The young man’s face turned green, and he said nothing. Cui Dong Dong laughed. “Are you really a virgin? There are so many pretty girls at the track, and you’ve never hooked up with any of them?”
The young man stammered, “Y-You’re a woman, but you still go with women… to—to hotel rooms…”
Cui Dong Dong burst into loud laughter. When she finished, her expression abruptly changed. “If you can’t stand it, then get lost!”
The young man remained silent for a moment before sitting beside her again. “I-I don’t have a problem with it. You’re my first friend. We’ll always be friends.”
Cui Dong Dong was only sixteen that year as well. Boys and girls in the flower of youth were always easily moved by words such as “always.” She punched Liu Yi hard in the chest with her small fist. “Hmph!”
She did not tell Liu Yi that he was also her first friend.
As she gradually became more familiar with Liu Yi, she discovered that the boy was naturally incapable of distinguishing either faces or gender. Whether someone was beautiful or ugly, tall or short, fat or thin made no difference to him. A straight man would naturally notice a beautiful woman’s appearance, while a gay man would naturally notice a handsome man’s body. But to Liu Yi, men and women were indistinguishable. He felt no sexual interest toward either side and made no judgment regarding beauty or ugliness.
“This is called being asexual,” Cui Dong Dong declared.
Liu Yi showed no reaction to this assessment. He neither appeared disappointed nor tried to argue. He merely asked her very seriously, “Is there any way to make me react to women?”
“You want to cure impotence?”
“No, I can… do that. I simply don’t react to women. Or to other men.”
“‘Other’ men?”
“…” The young man realized that he had foolishly let something slip. He froze on the spot, then suddenly turned and fled!
“Fuck, what are you afraid of?! If you like men, just say it! Who have you fallen for?” Cui Dong Dong shouted as she chased after him.
“I haven’t! I’m not!”
The young man fled far away. After a while, he returned dejectedly on his own, hanging his head as he said, “Dong Dong, y-you’re clever. Help me think of something… The person I like wants me to be with a woman. He—he had someone take me to a brothel to ‘make me a man’…”
Cui Dong Dong’s eyes widened. “So you went?”
“I was tricked into going.”
“And then?”
“Then I… I vomited.”
“Hahahahahaha!”
Liu Yi glared and moved to chase and hit her. Cui Dong Dong laughed so hard she could barely breathe, dodging him while coughing and continuing to laugh between gasps.
“Are you even my friend?!” Liu Yi said furiously. “Help me think of something!”
“If you can’t do it, then don’t force yourself,” Cui Dong Dong said cheerfully. “Are you stupid? Why don’t you tell him directly? Tell him you like him and don’t want to ‘make a man of yourself’ with a woman.”
Liu Yi shook his head violently. “No! I can’t tell him! He doesn’t like men! I can’t harm him!”
“Fuck, who’s going to harm whom?!” Cui Dong Dong said. “Men don’t die from sleeping with men! If you’re afraid of AIDS, both of you can use condoms. Does he have many women? Is his sex life messy?”
“He doesn’t have that kind of disease! He isn’t that sort of person!” Liu Yi shoved her hard. “You’re not allowed to say that about him!”
“Hey, hey! You value your lover over your friend! Your expression changes the instant I say anything about him!”
After complaining at length, Cui Dong Dong finally suggested unhappily, “You can’t confess, but he’s forcing you to ‘make a man of yourself.’ Then you have only one option: give those girls some money and ask them to help you put on an act.”
Liu Yi looked surprised. “You can do that?”
“Of course!”
Cui Dong Dong wrapped an arm around Liu Yi’s shoulders and whispered into his ear for some time. Appointing herself his dubious military adviser, she devised an entire series of grand plans to help Liu Yi pretend to be straight. When she finished, she patted his shoulder. “Understand?”
Liu Yi nodded. “You’re amazing.”
“Of course! Now, can you tell your one and only best friend—whose sincerity is witnessed by heaven, earth, sun, and moon—exactly who you like?”
The young man’s voice was as faint as a mosquito’s. His face flushed as his lips moved.
“What? Speak louder.”
“My Eldest…”
His cheeks crimson like a lovestruck maiden’s, he turned and fled at once.
Cui Dong Dong remained frozen on the spot, staring blankly at his retreating back.
“Fuck, you really have the courage of someone who ate a bear’s heart and a leopard’s gall!”
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