Futile Devices Scans

Early the next morning, the two of them woke up in a muddled daze. Cook Wu prepared two bowls of guoda—small hand-pinched pieces of dough boiled and then rinsed in cool water before being topped with a generous ladleful of piping-hot roe deer meat sauce. The aroma was irresistible.

The two of them each polished off a large bowl of guoda and let out contented, fragrant belches. Only then did they finally wake up properly.

⸻

Once fully awake, Zhang San immediately told Cook Wu about finding the young master the previous night and conveyed Qiao Shen’s gratitude.

Overjoyed, Cook Wu burst into tears. As she wiped at her eyes, she kept repeating, “Good, good, good.” Ever since the carpenter’s death, she had blamed herself, and not knowing whether the young master was alive or dead had tormented her for days. Only now did she finally feel released from that burden.

⸻

After comforting Cook Wu for a while and seeing that her emotions had settled, the two of them left to search for Qiao Shen’s jade pendant.

However, they retraced Li Si’s route through the town from the previous day, including the area around the horse-trap pit outside the city gates, and found no trace of it. Zhang San began to suspect it had been lost in the tunnels. Since Qiao Shen had mentioned discovering certain items down there, Zhang San called for County Commandant Liu Wu, then went to the Zhang residence to fetch Qiao Shen. The four of them prepared to descend into the tunnels once more.

Originally, access to the tunnels required passing through the county magistrate’s residence. But after forcibly “requisitioning” the magistrate’s rear garden the day before, Zhang San had ordered Liu Wu to have a doorway cut through the garden wall. He then had a carpenter rush the construction of a gate and ordered the magistrate to seal off the connecting corridors between the front and rear courtyards. From that day forward, the rear garden belonged to the government.

Having personally witnessed Zhang San whip the new constable thirty times until blood flew and screams filled the air, the magistrate scarcely dared breathe loudly in Zhang San’s presence. He obediently sealed off the corridors overnight and moved the Strongman to quarters in the inner residence.

Thus, the four of them entered through the newly opened gate, lit torches, and descended one by one into the tunnels.

⸻

The “items” Qiao Shen had mentioned were located along the left branch of the forked passage. Previously, Li Si had followed Qiao Shen’s footprints and taken the other path. But when Qiao Shen had first explored the tunnels, darkness had forced him to continue all the way down this route.

At the end of the passage, he had discovered several adjoining underground chambers packed with all kinds of equipment. In the darkness, he had only been able to make out rows of crates filled with hard objects made of iron and leather. The sight had startled him, but he had not dared linger. Unable to investigate further, he had immediately turned back and taken the other route.

Now, all four of them followed Qiao Shen into the tunnel. As Zhang San watched him walking at the front, he could not help noticing that although Qiao Shen was the youngest among them, his pace never faltered. He showed no hesitation and no fear of the darkness. Even on the night Zhang San had broken into the courtyard and held him hostage, Qiao Shen had been frightened but not panicked. He had addressed Zhang San as “heroic elder brother,” tried to reason with him, and urged him to take money rather than lives. For a fourteen-year-old child to escape alone from a bandit stronghold, navigate the tunnels through an entire night, and survive must have required exactly this kind of calm intelligence. He was truly an extraordinary child.

Zhang San looked at the unusually mature Qiao Shen, then at the unusually immature Li Si trailing behind him, and found the contrast highly amusing.

Li Si had no idea what he was laughing about. Seeing Zhang San glance back at him, he assumed he was being urged to hurry and immediately quickened his pace.

Falling back a few steps, Zhang San said, “I’m not rushing you. Take it slow. I told you to stay at the county yamen and rest, but you insisted on coming.”

Li Si shook his head vigorously and grabbed hold of Zhang San’s sleeve. After being treated coldly and distantly by Zhang San the previous day, he had managed to cling his way back into his company, but the lingering fear remained. He had already made up his mind to stick to Zhang San all day, following him wherever he went. Whatever happened, he did not intend to be separated again.

Zhang San freed one hand to support him, and the two of them slowed their pace, trailing behind the others.

⸻

By the time they reached the underground chamber at the end of the passage, Liu Wu was already enthusiastically buried among the crates. Hearing them arrive, he raised his head and exclaimed excitedly, “Commander! This is incredible! They’re all weapons!”

Seeing oil lamps mounted on the walls, Li Si stepped forward and lit several of them. The chamber brightened instantly, and everyone stared in amazement.

It was a vast armory.

Dozens of large wooden crates were stacked throughout the room, filled with every kind of weapon imaginable: sabers, spears, swords, bows, crossbows… The crate lids were coated with layers of dust, evidence of countless years of neglect. Yet the dry, cold environment of the tunnels had preserved nearly everything in excellent condition.

Li Si opened a crate filled with bows and selected a long, slender shao bow. Standing upright, it reached nearly to his chest. It was a bow intended for infantry use; its excessive length made it impractical on horseback. Similar in size to Wang Xu’s Golden Crow Bow, it was also exceptionally powerful. Unlike the Golden Crow Bow, however, this one was made entirely of wood and lacked horn or sinew reinforcement. The bows Li Si normally encountered in military camps were composite bows made from horn, sinew, and wood laminated together. Fascinated, he ran his fingers over it.

Zhang San asked, “I’ve never seen a bow made entirely of wood in the army. Have you?”

Li Si shook his head.

Digging deeper into the crate, he pulled out a shorter shao bow designed for cavalry use. Unlike the previous bow, this one incorporated horn and sinew, but its shape differed markedly from Great Xuan military bows. It was smaller and far more dramatically curved, resembling a crescent moon—or a plump, oversized version of the character 穴.

Examining it from every angle, he suddenly said, “This looks like a Tang Dynasty horn bow.”

⸻

Chief Commander Wang had mentioned the Tang Dynasty before. It had been the unified dynasty preceding Great Xuan. Between the Tang and Xuan dynasties lay a century of fragmentation and warfare.

At Li Si’s words, the other three gathered around him.

Zhang San asked, “How do you know it’s a Tang bow?”

“I saw illustrations of them in military manuals.”

Hearing that, Zhang San reached into a nearby weapons crate and lifted out a long-handled blade.

“What about this? Is it a Tang weapon too?”

The weapon was entirely black, with a long haft and long blade. Standing upright, it reached nearly to Zhang San’s shoulder. Broad and imposing, it resembled the military horse-cleaving sabers used by Great Xuan. Unlike those single-edged sabers, however, this one was sharpened on both sides, allowing strikes from either edge. Its blade also resembled the pole saber wielded by the Strongman.

Weighing it in his hands, Zhang San estimated it to be thirty or forty jin, considerably heavier than the pole saber. As a former infantryman with tremendous arm strength, he immediately appreciated the weapon. It could sever horse legs and split heavy armor. It suited his tastes perfectly, and he found himself unable to stop admiring it.

Li Si stepped forward and examined it carefully in Zhang San’s hands.

“It looks like a Tang modao,” he said uncertainly.

He then retrieved another blade from a nearby crate. This one had a short handle and a narrow, gleaming blade. It resembled the imperial saber he had received from the Chief Commander, though its craftsmanship and materials were even finer, and a long narrow fuller ran along the blade.

Of all weapons, Li Si knew this type best.

“This is a Tang hengdao,” he said confidently.

Zhang San nodded and turned to Liu Wu.

“Chief Commander Wang once told me that Ant County had served as a military fortress during the Tang Dynasty and guarded the upper approaches to Jinyang City. Looks like he was right. These weapons must have been left behind from those days.”

⸻

The adjacent chamber contained dozens of black sacks. They appeared to be made of leather, and their contents were soft enough to indent when pressed.

Li Si was poking one curiously when Zhang San grabbed his wrist and pulled him back.

“Don’t touch those. They’re probably oil sacks,” Zhang San said. “If you puncture one, it’ll get all over your hands. One spark and the whole thing will go up.”

At that moment, Qiao Shen emerged excitedly from another chamber.

“Third Brother! Come look at this!”

The other three hurried over. Holding up a torch, Qiao Shen pulled aside a covering of animal hide and lifted the lid of a crate.

It was filled to the brim with silver ingots.

Great Xuan generally minted rectangular silver ingots, but these were flattened and circular. Tiny inscriptions covered their surfaces. Picking one up, Qiao Shen studied it carefully in the torchlight.

“There are official titles and market names engraved on them. These should be official silver ingots from the Tang Dynasty.”

Liu Wu was overjoyed.

“This is wonderful! Commander, weren’t you worrying about military funding and troop pay just yesterday? Now you have it! You truly are Ant County’s lucky subordinate general!”

Though Zhang San was equally pleased, he coughed awkwardly.

After all, Qiao Shen had discovered the treasure. If anyone deserved credit for good fortune, it was the little dragon-horned boy. The day before, however, Zhang San and Liu Wu had argued fiercely over military funding. Lacking the money needed to recruit troops, Zhang San had suddenly proposed a solution:

Confiscate the county magistrate’s estate.

Ant County possessed a county granary, so food supplies were not an immediate concern. Paying soldiers, however, was another matter entirely. Prefect Zhang had dispatched him to Ant County with nothing but official documents—not a single copper coin. He would have to find military funds himself. Seeing the magistrate’s luxurious residence, Zhang San suspected it had been built on the suffering of the common people. He had been seriously considering finding an excuse to confiscate the entire estate and redistribute the wealth.

Liu Wu had been horrified.

He opposed the idea absolutely and worried deeply about Zhang San’s bandit-like tendencies. If they removed the magistrate, where would they find a replacement? Besides, what kind of logic was it to seize the property of wealthy people simply because they needed money? The county would descend into panic. The local gentry and wealthy families were already terrified that Militia Commissioner Zhang might decide to confiscate their estates next.

Now, however, the problem had solved itself. With these silver reserves, the magistrate’s position was safe—for the time being. Naturally, Liu Wu was eager to shower his commander with praise.

Chapter 25: Nothing but Spoiled Affection

Zhang San had no intention of letting the magistrate off the hook. Setting everything else aside, just the courtyard full of ornamental rockeries could be exchanged for a considerable amount of military funding if not for the war. As for the inner residence, who knew how many treasures might be hidden inside?

Every scheming thought in his head was practically written across his face, leaving Liu Wu sighing helplessly.

Zhang San gave Liu Wu a hearty slap on the back and coaxed him amiably, “Brother Liu, don’t worry, don’t worry. I was only speaking offhand yesterday. I won’t go behind your back and do anything reckless. Hurry back and gather some men. Move all these fine things back to the county yamen and make a proper inventory.”

⸻

County Commandant Liu faithfully carried out his duties, leading the yamen runners and clerks in transporting and cataloging the supplies. We shall not dwell on that. As for Zhang San, Li Si, and Qiao Shen, they once again carefully traversed the tunnels from end to end, yet still found no trace of the jade pendant.

Li Si felt deeply guilty and lowered his head in self-reproach. “I should have let Brother Xiao keep the jade pendant for me.”

Zhang San sighed. “I was the one who stuffed it onto you. I figured you were the Imperial City Directorate Envoy, so if anyone is to blame, it should be me. Besides, if not for me, you wouldn’t have gone through that tunnel alone, suffered all this trouble, and lost the pendant.”

“It’s all right even if it’s lost,” Qiao Shen comforted him. “I can speak the official language, I know my clan genealogy by heart, and I understand the rules and customs of the imperial clan. Those aren’t things ordinary people can fake. His Majesty will believe me.”

⸻

By noon, all three of them were starving, so they temporarily abandoned the search, gathered their spirits, and returned to the Zhang residence.

The previous night, Elder Sister had declared that she would prepare a proper feast for her younger brothers at midday. She had even rearranged the family hierarchy: Zhang San remained Third Brother Zhang, Li Si became Fourth Brother Zhang, and Qiao Shen remained the youngest brother.

Before they even reached the courtyard gate, the rich aroma of meat drifted out, filling the entire alley. The neighbor’s children were hanging over their courtyard fence, peering over and nearly drooling themselves to tears.

At dawn, Elder Sister Zhang had already started a pot of braised pork. She carefully selected fine pork belly, cut it into thick chunks three fingers wide, soaked it in mountain ginger and chili berries to remove the gamey odor, fried it first to seal in the juices, then seasoned it with fermented black beans and spices before simmering it slowly over low heat. After two or three hours, the meat had become tender, glossy, and so soft it seemed ready to fall apart at the touch, filling the air with an irresistible fragrance.

When it was brought to the table, the tender meat trembled enticingly in the pot, causing Li Si’s gaze to go utterly blank.

Elder Sister Zhang then carried out three large steamers filled with giant meat-stuffed steamed cakes. The dough was made from millet flour and could hardly be called refined fare, but once torn open, the rich pork filling, bright green scallions, and overflowing juices made them wonderfully fragrant and appetizing.

Li Si looked at the braised pork pot, then at the steamed cakes, then back at the braised pork pot, then at the steamed cakes again, speechless with longing.

Zhang San was helping his sister prepare dishes in the kitchen, slicing radishes and napa cabbage to be cooked in the pork pot later. Glancing back, he laughed. “Brother-in-law, do me a favor and get Sisi a pair of chopsticks. He’s been drooling himself stupid.”

Brother-in-law was washing bowls and chopsticks by the water vat. Hearing this, he quickly cleaned a pair and offered them to Li Si.

Eating before everyone was seated was improper, and Li Si knew at least that much. He shook his head and repeatedly declined.

Qiao Shen sprawled over the table, grabbed a steamed cake with his fingers, and stuffed it into his mouth. “Fourth Brother, we don’t stand on ceremony at home. I always sneak food first.”

As a destitute young master from a fallen branch of the imperial clan, he had never eaten as well in his own household as he did here. After mooching meals from Elder Sister’s family for over twenty days, his face had even grown rounder.

With their youngest brother taking the lead, Li Si finally gave in and shyly stole a steamed cake as well. The instant he bit into it, his dark colt-like eyes lit up brightly.

⸻

Brother-in-law brought out some homemade plum wine and warmed it before pouring each person a bowl. The family sat together, eating and drinking merrily while continuing the conversations from the previous night and reminiscing about years gone by.

When Elder Sister Zhang talked about Zhang San’s childhood, she described him as a chubby little glutton who loved nothing more than eating and playing. If he went three days without a beating, he would climb onto the roof and tear off tiles. He spent every day running through the streets and alleys causing trouble, and there was scarcely a corner of the county he had not explored. He had even discovered the abandoned fortress beneath the mountain himself and led a group of friends there with dreams of claiming it as their own stronghold. Unfortunately, several refugee men happened to be living there at the time and quickly chased the troublesome children away. Back then, Zhang San had been short and fat and hopeless at fighting. They had kicked him in the backside like a cuju ball, and he had run home crying to his sister, declaring that he wanted to “learn blade techniques” from her.

What blade techniques? Since he had so much energy and hated studying, he might as well come help at the butcher’s stall and contribute to the household. Thus, at a very young age, Elder Sister had dragged him to the stall by his ear. Every day he chopped lean meat, fatty meat, and precious soft cartilage into fine minced filling. It did, in fact, give him quite a bit of “blade training.”

When he turned fifteen, Grand Preceptor Tong was recruiting soldiers in Kuiyuan Prefecture. The officials dispatched to Ant County needed five hundred able-bodied young men who had reached the age of fifteen. Under Great Xuan military law, only one man should have been conscripted from each family. A son could replace a deceased father, and a younger brother could replace a deceased elder brother. But Ant County’s population was too small, and the official could not meet his quota. He therefore recorded Zhang San as the son of another Zhang family and forcibly took him away together with his Second Brother.

When Zhang San first entered the army, he was still a plump youngster who did not look particularly capable of fighting, so he was assigned as a cook. Every day he did little more than “chop things into filling” and “cook them into porridge.” He was skilled at cutting meat, but hopeless at cooking rice. For several months, he fed the soldiers half-cooked grain and scorched mush, and he himself lost an entire circle of fat from going hungry.

Then one night, enemy troops launched a surprise attack on the camp. Great Xuan’s forces descended into chaos, suffering terrible casualties. Cook Zhang grabbed two kitchen cleavers and rushed out from beside the stove, chopping men as if slaughtering pigs and cleaving heads as though splitting melons…

After that battle, he was transferred to the vanguard and began a military life filled with bloodshed and fighting.

⸻

Not wanting to frighten his family, Zhang San skipped over the details of killing and warfare, speaking only of his travels across the country with the army over the years. Li Si listened with one ear while devoting most of his attention to eating. Throughout the meal, he was the only one who barely spoke, burying himself in food. He consumed three giant steamed cakes, a huge bowl of pork, and countless vegetables cooked in the broth.

The plum wine smelled sweet and fragrant to him, and he wanted to try it as well. Zhang San refused. Not only did he refuse to let Brother-in-law pour Li Si any wine, he even prevented him from sneaking a sip from his own bowl.

Guarding his wine bowl, Zhang San turned away to continue talking with his sister and brother-in-law, completely missing the little conspiracy unfolding between Qiao Shen and Li Si.

Seeing how desperately Fourth Brother wanted some, Qiao Shen could not bear it. He quietly pushed his own bowl toward him. After all, he was still young. The wine only made him dizzy, and he could not drink much anyway.

Li Si took a tiny sip at first and found it mellow and pleasantly sweet. It barely tasted like wine at all and was more like the sweet beverages sold in teahouses in the capital. Delighted, he promptly drank the entire bowl.

After that, he was completely full. Contentedly setting down his chopsticks and wiping his mouth clean, he continued listening silently as everyone chatted.

⸻

As the conversation continued, he suddenly saw Elder Sister and Brother Xiao transform into two enormous tigers. Brother-in-law became a skinny mountain goat, while Little Brother became a young qilin with tiny dragon horns beginning to sprout. The two tigers kept roaring and growling away, the goat occasionally bleated a few comments, and the little qilin, though quieter, sometimes let out happy little cries as well.

The whole room was filled with beasts living in perfect harmony. Only the little pig simmering in the pot looked rather unhappy, weeping rivers of tears. Those tears turned into rich meat juices, making it look even more delicious.

His head felt terribly dizzy. The world spun around him, and he needed something soft and thick to lean against.

One of the tigers was off-limits. If he leaned against that one, the nearby goat would probably become angry. But the other tiger belonged to the little colt. He could lean against it as much as he liked, rub his face against it as much as he liked, and cling to it as much as he pleased.

Lowering his head, Li Si looked at his own hooves. Why didn’t he even have horseshoes? I’m a wild, untamed horse!

That thought made him even dizzier. He scooted closer to the tiger that belonged to him, slipped one hoof into a furry tiger paw, rested his head against the tiger’s broad shoulder, and contentedly rubbed his face against it.

“…Sisi… who gave him wine…”

The tiger’s voice drifted to him faintly as though through water.

The voice was low and pleasantly husky. It sounded wonderful. The tiger’s body was warm and cozy, making his entire face feel heated. The dizziness grew stronger, and he felt himself drifting toward sleep. Lowering his head, he buried his face deep in the thick, soft tiger fur and peacefully closed his eyes.

⸻

In full view of everyone present, Fourth Brother Zhang wrapped his arms around Third Brother Zhang, buried his face against his chest, and rubbed himself all over him, throwing the Zhang household into complete chaos. We shall not dwell on that.

Some time later, Zhang San emerged from the courtyard carrying a thoroughly drunk Li Si in his arms, looking thoroughly embarrassed. After saying his farewells to his family, he prepared to return to the county yamen to inspect the progress of the inventory and, incidentally, find a place to deposit the unconscious Imperial City Directorate Envoy Li.

The three remaining family members stood at the gate to see them off. Noticing the awkward expressions on their faces, Zhang San coughed guiltily.

“He gets like this when he’s drunk. That’s why I wouldn’t let him drink.”

Watching the two figures disappear into the distance, Qiao Shen quietly tattled to Elder Sister.

“Elder Sister, when they left last night, Third Brother carried him back exactly like that too. I saw it.”

Brother-in-law promptly flicked him on the forehead.

“Shh. You little troublemaker. Must you always stir things up?”

Elder Sister’s expression shifted uncertainly. She lingered at the doorway a little longer, staring after the departing pair, before turning around and flicking Qiao Shen on the forehead as well.

“You little tattletale! Go help your brother-in-law wash the dishes!”

Rubbing his head beneath four imaginary dragon horns, Qiao Shen dejectedly gathered up the bowls and chopsticks.

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