Futile Devices Scans

Although they had behaved absurdly for half the night, Li Si rose early the next morning before dawn. He lit the fire and cooked porridge in the little courtyard, preparing breakfast for his elders.

He had far too little time to devote himself to his family and treasured every single day and every passing moment.

Zhang San did not dare lie abed in Li Si’s home either and insisted on helping him. At present, he was so sleepy he could barely lift his eyelids. Half dreaming, he nodded over the worktable while chopping mustard greens.

Godmother also rose early. Since they had a guest, she could not neglect him, so she dressed herself neatly before emerging and hurriedly told them, “Young Master Zhang, how can we let you work so hard? Please go and rest! My son, you should rest too. Both of you go back and sleep a little longer. I’ll wake you when everything is ready.”

The two repeatedly refused and instead coaxed Godmother into going back to rest.

–

By the time the family finished breakfast, daylight had arrived. Zhang San asked Li Si to go to the market and buy the powder and rouge women used for their makeup. He intended to plaster a thick layer over the tattooed characters on his face and hands. As long as the makeup did not get wet, the marks would be nearly invisible.

Zhang San temporarily remained in the courtyard. He set up a wooden ladder and repaired the broken wall, honestly making amends for the trouble he had caused the previous night.

For a tigerish brute like him, who excelled at wrecking things and never cleaned up afterward, tearing down a few walls, ripping apart a few prison bars, or ruining several sabers was ordinarily the end of the matter. For him to return and deal with the consequences was truly unprecedented.

Godmother was attentive. Seeing him dressed in Li Si’s clothing, with the chest unable to close and the fabric too tight around him, she knew the size was unsuitable. She asked him to stand in the courtyard while she took his measurements, then found several old garments Second Uncle had left behind and sewed extra pieces of cloth across the chest, shoulders, and back, hoping to prepare a few more changes of clothing for him.

No one in the Li household remained idle. Godmother busied herself with needlework indoors, while Grandma came out and felt around for chores. She tidied the miscellaneous items in the courtyard, then went to draw water and wash clothes.

Godmother poked her head out. “Granny! Leave that alone! I’ll wash them later!”

Zhang San, sitting astride the wall, also hurriedly called, “I’ll do it! I’ll do it! I’ve finished repairing this side!”

He jumped down from the wall and nearly snapped the wooden ladder beneath his foot. In a fluster, he steadied the creaking ladder before hurrying over to seize the washbasin from Grandma.

“Please rest! I’ll do it!”

The old woman did not fight him for it. She sat on a little stool nearby and remained beside Zhang San while he washed the clothes.

Commander Zhang grew so nervous that he did not dare raise his head. He kept it buried as he scrubbed furiously, rubbing the corners of every sleeve so thin they nearly tore.

What made him even more nervous was that after Grandma had sat beside him for a while and listened to the sound of scrubbing, she suddenly asked, “Young Master, my eyesight is poor and I cannot see clearly. May I ask how old you are this year, and what your birth date and eight characters are?”

Zhang San: “My birth…” His birth date and eight characters?

Zhang San could not even remember all of his own birth details. Stammering, he said he was twenty-three.

Grandma asked again, “I heard my precious grandson say you are the county commander. That sounds like an important official. May I ask how much salary you receive each month?”

Zhang San: “My sal…” His salary?

Zhang San himself did not know what salary a militia commander was supposed to receive. Prefect Zhang had promised him an official post, then sent him to Ant County without giving him a single coin. Even his military funds had been squeezed out of the county magistrate.

He stammered again. Thinking that he was now technically a subordinate general, he quoted the amount of military pay Brother Xu usually received.

Grandma said, “That is about the same as what my precious grandson receives as a deputy commander in the Imperial City Directorate, though I suppose the pay and benefits in Hedong cannot compare with those in the capital…”

Zhang San was quick-witted. The more he listened, the more he sensed something was wrong. Sisi often spoke of Grandma, and the old woman was not someone who cared about status or wealth like this. He secretly raised his eyes and furtively studied her expression, an ominous feeling rising in his heart…

Sure enough, Grandma’s next question was, “You are several years older than my precious grandson. Do you know how to cherish someone? Did you bully him last night?”

Zhang San’s hand trembled. He nearly sprang up and fled.

The splash of agitated water reached Grandma’s ears. She reached out and caught Zhang San’s arm—though she could not see, her grip was unerringly precise.

“Do not hide, Young Master. This old woman’s eyes may be poor, but her ears are excellent. The commotion you two made last night might have fooled my good daughter, but it could not fool me. Tell me clearly: were you bullying him?”

Zhang San stammered, “I… I… He was the one bullying me… But with this sort of thing, you cannot really say who was… bullying whom…”

Grandma sighed and finally released his trembling arm.

“My precious grandson never liked to speak from childhood and never fought others for anything. His Second Uncle and I always worried he would be bullied. After returning from Kuiyuan these last two times, somehow his mind opened up. He began talking and smiling, and at last he seems to have grown up. I imagine it is because of you. So long as you know how to cherish him and do not mistreat him, this old woman does not care whether you are a man or a woman…”

–

Li Si returned from the market with his clothes stuffed full of powders and rouge and saw Brother Xiao hanging laundry with Grandma in the courtyard. Brother Xiao wrung out the water, carefully spread each garment open, then handed it to Grandma, who felt along the cloth and hung it on the line.

The two had known each other for less than a day, yet already seemed as familiar as true grandmother and grandson, cooperating with perfect ease. Brother Xiao’s head drooped, his lips pressed tightly together to conceal his tiger teeth completely. He looked honest and obedient and scarcely dared breathe.

Li Si: Huh?

–

Li Si covered Zhang San with makeup, helped him into the old clothes Godmother had altered, and arranged his hair. Only then did he boldly take Zhang San outside.

Although Zhang San had callused hands and anyone could tell from his build and bearing that he was a soldier, he remained beside Li Si. Even if they encountered a patrol inspection, Li Si merely needed to show his Imperial City Directorate token and claim Zhang San was his personal attendant and subordinate. It was extremely easy to deceive them.

Thus, Zhang San regained his freedom and swaggered openly through the territory of the capital alongside Li Si.

–

Over the following days, strange currents churned throughout the capital.

First, the emperor’s biological younger brother, Prince Kang, departed the capital under imperial orders and headed north of the Yellow River to beg the Xiao Second Prince for peace. On the day he left, the city’s commoners crowded after him, hoping the prince would remain and defend the capital and persuade the emperor to restore Li Gang and Venerable Pacification Commissioner Zuo to office.

Prince Kang ignored them and insisted on leaving. Not only that, this cowardly prince—truly cut from the same cloth as his father and elder brother—was so afraid the Xiao Second Prince would detain him as a hostage that, whether deliberately avoiding the enemy or genuinely taking the wrong road, he somehow passed right by the Xiao army and traveled to Cizhou under Commander Zong Duo’s protection. He then hid inside Cizhou and never showed his face again, saying not a word about seeking peace with Xiao. But that was a matter for later.

The day after Prince Kang departed the capital, his father, the Emperor Emeritus, also packed his belongings, gathered his consorts, and abandoned the capital to flee south for a second time.

The emperor was furious and originally intended to stop his father’s absurd behavior—the disaster had been caused by you in the first place! You already fled once, and now you want to flee a second time? Stay and suffer together with your children and grandchildren!

But Prince Fu, Qiao Shen, persuaded the emperor against it. He said the Emperor Emeritus was romantic and unrestrained by nature, easily attracted calamities associated with water, and conflicted with the emperor’s fire fate. Keeping the old man in the capital would not benefit the defense of the nation and would also damage the emperor’s reputation for filial piety.

The emperor considered it and thought there was some reason to it. His libertine father truly was extremely inauspicious. Since Prince Fu was advising him in the name of filial duty, the emperor seized the opportunity and allowed the old man to leave.

The emperor himself did not betray his own words. He never mentioned leaving the capital and remained to defend the gates of the nation. On one hand, he still held onto the hope that offering more money and territory might purchase peace a second time. On the other, even if he wished to flee in his heart, his body—constantly suffering palpitations and fainting spells and growing weaker and more ruined each day—could not withstand the strain of escape.

While sending messengers to plead with the steadily approaching Xiao army, the emperor appointed State Preceptor Perfected Master Shen Xiao as the new “Defender of the Capital’s Four Walls.” He withdrew the troops stationed outside the city back within the walls and arranged the defenses with the Immortal Fire Army as the principal force.

In only a few days, Immortal Fire soldiers crowded every section of the walls. Blood-red banners covered the entire capital. Fire altars for prayers belched black smoke everywhere, turning the whole place into a foul, smoky miasma.

–

The Xiao army would arrive soon. Li Si and Zhang San could not rest easy, so they spent the entire day circling all four sides of the city to see how the “divinely powerful” Perfected Master Shen Xiao, who supposedly wielded immortal fire, had arranged the defenses.

Li Si had helped Zheng Jiu train the Immortal Fire Army for several months and originally possessed some confidence in their discipline and martial skills. Yet when he inspected them, not one soldier on any Immortal Fire drill ground was practicing with saber or spear. In their place came the endless murmur of chants.

Li Si grew worried and wanted to find Zheng Jiu to ask what was happening. But after visiting several camps, he saw no sign of him. Later, he revealed his Imperial City Directorate identity and questioned the soldiers. Only then did he hear that Deputy Commander Zheng had been summoned into the palace by the State Preceptor for the past several days to accompany him in rituals and prayers.

–

That night, the two returned to the Li family’s little courtyard.

They did not even take the time to find stools. The moment they entered, they squatted on the ground. Zhang San picked up a piece of charcoal and drew the defensive deployments they had observed during the day for Li Si to see.

Zhang San said, “The capital has sixteen gates in total. At the other important gates, he stationed only two or three thousand soldiers. Yet at Wansheng Gate in the northwest, he stationed six thousand, all of them the Immortal Fire Army’s core force. Can you guess why?”

Li Si thought for a moment. “During the Xiao army’s first siege, the reinforcements occupied the southeast while the Xiao army attacked from the northwest. Does he believe the enemy’s strongest assault will fall upon Wansheng Gate?”

Zhang San shook his head. “Doesn’t that demon Daoist cultivate the ‘Five-Armor Art of War’? Do you remember his disciple, Daoist Ma? He used that name as an excuse to search Ant County for soldiers aligned with fire and said he wanted to open the gate and meet the enemy. In my view, this sorcery serves two purposes. First, it lets him mystify people and gild his own reputation. Second, it leaves himself an escape route.”

Zhang San drew the terrain beyond Wansheng Gate with the charcoal.

“Outside Wansheng Gate lies a broad stretch of hills where horses cannot move easily. Five li farther west is a forest. My guess is that the demon Daoist knows the emperor will prioritize seeking peace. If negotiations succeed, he can continue as State Preceptor and enjoy wealth and glory. But if battle becomes unavoidable, he will keep the main force for himself. Protected by six thousand soldiers, he will open the gate and break out, use the hills to evade pursuit by the Xiao cavalry, and flee the capital alone…”

Li Si’s eyes widened in astonishment.

No wonder this demon Daoist had painstakingly gathered military authority into his hands. Like the Emperor Emeritus and Prince Kang, he was displaying his own special powers merely to escape the calamity of war.

Once this bastard fled, the capital he left behind with its gates thrown wide open would truly be beyond saving.

–

Li Si could never have imagined such selfish, vicious, and deranged intentions on his own if Zhang San had not pointed them out. Furious, he punched the ground, sending charcoal fragments flying and smashing apart their diagram.

“Hey! Don’t you know that hurts?” Zhang San cried out. He seized Li Si’s fist and examined it. Sure enough, the skin had split, and blood immediately seeped out.

His heart aching, he blew repeatedly on the bleeding little colt hoof. Using the corner of his own sleeve, he carefully dabbed away the blood and wiped off the dirt. “Little Fool, save your anger and punch the demon Daoist’s face with it. Why are you punching the ground?”

Li Si’s fist was cradled in Zhang San’s palms and carefully tended, but he remained furious. “I’ll tell Little Brother that this demon Daoist cannot be allowed to live until the battle begins. Tomorrow—no, tonight—I’ll kill him—Aah!”

Before he finished speaking, pain made his entire body jerk. Brother Xiao had once again sprinkled that murderous wound powder onto the injury.

Zhang San felt along Li Si’s sleeve and skillfully picked out his concealed sleeve blade. He cut a strip from his own undergarment and wrapped it around the back of Li Si’s hand, comforting him as he did so. “Little Brother accompanies him in rituals every day. How could he fail to guess this? Little Brother must have his own plans…”

–

As it happened, the moment Zhang San finished speaking, a commotion suddenly sounded outside the little courtyard.

Li Si’s ears twitched. He caught Brother Xiao’s hand in return and signaled him to remain silent.

Footsteps sounded outside the gate, hurried and furtive, accompanied by dripping water. It all felt familiar.

Zhang San and Li Si exchanged a glance and silently rose. Both reached toward the saber hilts at their waists.

Li Si rose lightly onto his toes and glided to the courtyard gate in the blink of an eye, tilting his head to listen closely. Zhang San slowly moved to the foot of the courtyard wall, guarding against the thief attempting to climb over as he himself had done before.

Sure enough, Zhang San had guessed correctly. The new thief paced back and forth outside several times as though confirming something. Then he jumped and caught the top of the high wall with both hands.

Zhang San stood beneath the wall and raised his head. Two plump hands clung to its upper edge. Outside came a long bout of struggling and harsh panting. After exerting an enormous amount of pig strength, a round head finally rose slowly into view.

–

Zheng Jiu had only barely managed to climb the high courtyard wall. Panting heavily, he peered inside by moonlight.

There he saw Commander Zhang standing below with a smile curling at the corners of his mouth.

“Eek! Eek!”

The sight of this long-unseen plague star frightened Zheng Jiu out of his wits. He scrambled desperately to escape.

But Zhang San leapt upward, caught both of his pig trotters, and tugged him down. He pinned Zheng Jiu to the ground and raised his fist.

How familiar this scene was. Zheng Jiu covered his head and begged repeatedly, “Commander Zhang, spare me! Spare me! Deputy Commander Li only beat me a few days ago, and my face is still swollen! I’m innocent!”

Zhang San smiled and lowered his fist. He lightly slapped Zheng Jiu’s round face, which had grown somewhat thinner. “What are you doing here?”

Zheng Jiu’s voice trembled with tears. “I came to bring Deputy Commander Li a message. Weren’t you in Ant County? Why are you here again? You truly are my Grandpa Zhang…”

Zhang San grinned wickedly and waved his fist, pretending to tease him again. Fortunately, Li Si stepped forward to intervene, finally rescuing the trembling Deputy Commander Zheng.

–

Poor Deputy Commander Zheng was not even offered the privilege of going indoors to change. The Li household had no clothing that could fit him. Li Si could only light a brazier in the courtyard and ask Zheng Jiu to remove his outer robe and dry it beside the fire.

Water continued dripping from Zheng Jiu’s hair. He received only one cloth to dry it himself and did not enjoy the privilege of anyone helping him.

Li Si told Grandma and Godmother that they had official business to discuss and asked the two elders to remain inside and not come out for the moment.

The three squatted around the brazier like golden toads bowing to the sun and spoke quietly in the courtyard.

Li Si asked, “Brother Zheng, why are you soaked too? Did you also come through the water?”

Zheng Jiu said, “Young Master Tao told me there were three willow trees before your gate and a cluster of four-season flowers in the courtyard. I followed the river looking for the willows and accidentally fell in. Then I wanted to climb the wall and see whether there were flowers inside…”

Zhang San caught one detail. “Brother Zheng?”

Li Si said, “Oh, right. Brother Xiao, you still don’t know Brother Zheng’s full name.”

Zheng Jiu hurriedly said, “No honorific, no honorific. This humble one is named Zheng Jiu—the Zheng written with the ear radical, and Jiu as in wine.”

Li Si said, “Brother Xiao, Brother Zheng is older than you too.”

Zhang San bared his tiger teeth in a grin. “Well, well! Then he’s my Brother Zheng too!”

Zheng Jiu trembled in fear. “No, no! Grandpa, please don’t honor this humble one like that…”

Zhang San’s tiger teeth showed fully as he laughed. He cheerfully rose, went into the main room, found a small wooden stool, and carried it out for Brother Zheng’s soaking-wet backside.

He coaxed him amiably, “I won’t tease you anymore, Brother Zheng. From now on, not only will I stop beating you, I’ll respectfully call you Elder Brother. Please sit and tell us what message you came to deliver.”

Overwhelmed by the favor, Zheng Jiu carefully settled his backside onto the little stool. At last, he gathered his composure and forced himself to calm down.

He took a jade pendant from inside his clothes. A dragon was carved upon it—it was Qiao Shen’s ancestral treasure.

“I came to deliver a message on behalf of His Highness Prince Fu. He feared Deputy Commander Li might not trust me, so he specially gave me this token.”

Li Si exclaimed, “Wow…”

Little Brother was truly remarkable. He had not only won over Administrator Li and Brother Tao but had even brought Brother Zheng under his command.

Zheng Jiu said, “Deputy Commander Li, don’t look so surprised. I, Zheng Jiu, may not be much of a hero, but under the iron fists of you two—cough, under your guidance—I have come to understand right from wrong. Perfected Master Shen Xiao has stationed heavy troops at the western gate these past several days and claims he intends to use the ‘Five-Armor Art of War.’ But I can see he has no intention of fighting at all. He merely wants to flee the city amid the chaos. Isn’t that courting death? Even if he escapes, where beneath heaven could he still find refuge? Wouldn’t everyone spit upon him and beat him to death? He ordered me to escort him into battle, but I don’t want to follow him to my death…”

Zhang San said, “Oh…”

Brother Zheng remained the same as ever. He possessed a conscience, though not a great deal of one; yet however little, it still existed. He understood that only by following the right person could he preserve his life. Regardless of his original motives, he had repeatedly abandoned darkness for the light, which could be considered both great wisdom and great virtue. No wonder people said pigs were actually intelligent.

Zhang San continued coaxing him. “Brother Zheng is loyal and understands reason. Truly admirable. May I ask what message His Highness asked you to deliver?”

Holding the jade pendant, Zheng Jiu assumed a solemn expression. The brazier’s glow illuminated his slightly swollen pig face and brightened his narrowed pig eyes, somehow casting across them a piercing radiance of the righteous path.

“His Highness ordered this humble one to tell Deputy Commander Li: on the day the Xiao army reaches the city, when the sacrifice to Heaven begins, Perfected Master Shen Xiao will meet his death.”

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