Futile Devices Scans

Elio’s Notes: The title deliberately uses Cantonese-flavored wording: 系 stands in for 係 (“is”), while 呆佬 means roughly “fool” or “silly fellow.” Chapter 98 answers the joke in more standard Mandarin wording, so the paired titles intentionally shift register.

Kaiyang Avenue, upstairs in Yinghe Tower.

“There. The payment we agreed on.”

Inside Zhaixing Pavilion, Wei Fu used his fan to push a black lacquered wooden box inlaid with mother-of-pearl across the table. “You did a good job this time. I’ll come to you again when there’s more work. Remember to give me a discount.”

“…”

The handsome man in purple rolled his eyes dramatically. He had originally been reclining lazily against an armrest, his entire body radiating a dangerous air that warned others not to approach, but that undignified expression completely ruined the effect. He looked very much as though he wanted to slap Wei Fu’s mercenary, hypocritical face away with the sole of his shoe.

He pressed the mechanism and opened the box, spread out the silk inside, skimmed over it to make sure there were no problems, then put it away together with the box. “You’re still hoping there’ll be a next time?” he asked coldly. “Aren’t you afraid he’ll skin you alive?”

“How could he?” Wei Fu immediately retorted, “His Highness has never even been willing to flick me with one finger. Does Sect Leader Cheng usually treat you very harshly?”

Xie Youlan: “…”

Those enormous peach-blossom eyes, almost identical to his own, slowly widened. Wei Fu covered his mouth. “Heavens! Elder Brother, you’re so pitiful!”

Xie Youlan: This bastard!

“When it comes to being a villain, I have more experience than you. I suggest you stop celebrating so early.” Xie Youlan could not exchange more than three sentences with him without getting angry. Running his tongue along his gums, he deliberately tried to frighten him. “At least I’m openly wicked. Whenever I happen to perform a good deed, Cheng Yu looks at me in an entirely new light.” “But you?” “You spend every day pretending to be an upright gentleman. If he discovers that you’re actually so rotten you ooze black water, that contrast won’t be easy to accept.” “After all, he certainly didn’t fall for you because you’re good at scheming against people.”

Wei Fu: “…”

“That’s simply how the world judges these things. When a villain performs one good deed, it proves his conscience hasn’t completely died and perhaps he can still turn back.” “But let a good person commit a single bad deed, and every virtue he accumulated throughout his life is wiped away in one stroke.” “Once a black mark stains white paper, nobody calls it white anymore.” Adopting the air of a man speaking from hard-earned experience, Xie Youlan delivered another blow. “Besides, what you did wasn’t far removed from plotting against a sovereign and stealing a kingdom.” “Do you think he’ll be pleased?”

Wei Fu was finally shaken a little by his alarmist speech. He muttered uncertainly, “It was only a small stratagem. It wasn’t as wicked as you make it sound…”

“Look at that.” Xie Youlan immediately clicked his tongue and shook his head with exaggerated sorrow. “He’s even wicked without realizing it.” “With a black-hearted fox like you controlling the court, Longsha is completely finished.”

He propped up his cheek and watched with interest as Wei Fu fell silent. So even you, little debt collector, have days like this. After waiting a while without seeing Wei Fu’s eyes fill with tears, Xie Youlan was wondering whether he ought to administer a stronger dose when— Bang!

The tremendous noise nearly made both Xie Youlan and the lid of his teacup jump. Wei Fu slammed both palms against the table, seized his hand, and shouted with ringing conviction: “Elder Brother!”

Xie Youlan: “…What?”

“Heaven knows, Earth knows, you know, and I know.” Wei Fu stared at him solemnly. “If His Highness ever learns the truth, then you must have leaked it.”

Xie Youlan nodded. “Correct, so you—”

Before he could finish saying show me some respect, Wei Fu interrupted him. “If His Highness learns the truth and abandons me, I’ll tell Sect Leader Cheng that you helped me commit wrongdoing in exchange for the Earth Mirror Map!”

Xie Youlan: “?” What the hell does that have to do with me?

“Don’t forget that you already made your choice back in Xiling.” “Between the Earth Mirror Map and Sect Leader Cheng, you only get one!”

Enraged at being dragged into the water for no reason whatsoever, Xie Youlan shouted: “You beast!”

Wei Fu folded his hands beneath his chin. Then he let out a sinister chuckle that made it painfully obvious the two of them were genuinely brothers. “If I can’t preserve my marriage, then none of us gets to live!” “You decide what to do!”

Xie Youlan: “…”

About the time it took to drink a cup of tea later, the Palace Master of Beizhu, who had just suffered a vicious threat, finally managed to send his disastrous younger brother away. He massaged his temples for a long while before gathering enough strength to stand. As he headed for the door, he thought that in any case, the Dongyu portion of the Earth Mirror Map was already in his hands. No matter how much money Longsha offered next time, he was never taking another one of their rotten jobs—

Clang!

Cold light flashed through the crack of the door. From the side, a length of half-drawn cold steel suddenly emerged and barred the doorway with perfect precision.

Sword aura struck like frost. Xie Youlan instinctively leaned backward, his Adam’s apple bobbing once in alarm.

The bandit blocking his path wore plain, unadorned clothing. He did not look like a guest of this restaurant, much less someone wealthy enough to enter this floor. Yet he had appeared soundlessly like a ghost. Calmly holding the blade against Xie Youlan’s throat, he stepped into the room, casually hooked the door shut with one foot, then pointed toward the empty seat and indicated that Xie Youlan should sit back down.

When he held a sword, his manner was forceful and brooked no argument. Yet he had an unusual pair of downturned eyes that looked exceptionally pure and innocent when he smiled.

“Let’s talk.”

“Wah!”

Wei Fu had barely stepped over the threshold of Yinghe Tower when the wind suddenly stirred behind his head. The next instant, this jade tree was uprooted by a violent gale. He had time to let out only one low cry before his entire body vanished from the doorway with a whoosh.

The abduction happened far too quickly. A waiter wiping a table turned around in confusion and rubbed his eyes. “Did a bird just fly past? Something flashed by… Or am I seeing things?”

In the narrow alley beside Yinghe Tower, the powerful chancellor who had flashed past stood obediently against the wall. He neither struggled nor resisted nor called for help. He simply lowered his voice until it was quieter than a mosquito and coyly attempted to dissuade his captor. “In broad daylight, abducting a respectable man like this… isn’t—isn’t that a little improper?”

Yugong Zhaoye planted one palm against the brick wall beside his neck. “Yeguang is conducting official business,” he said softly and coldly. “Whether it’s proper or not is no longer for you to decide, Young Master Wei.”

Forced into a dead end, Wei Fu flattened himself against the wall and did not dare move recklessly. His gaze darted evasively downward. His ears betrayed him by turning red first. “Th-then what instructions does Your Highness have?”

No matter how one looked at the pose and expression, something about it was wrong. It resembled a local tyrant bullying a respectable man. Yugong Zhaoye stared at the tips of Wei Fu’s ears and gave a cold laugh. Just as he was about to withdraw his hand and straighten up, an arm suddenly wrapped itself around his waist.

There was no clever trick involved. Wei Fu was simply strong. He locked his arm around Yugong Zhaoye’s waist and refused to let him retreat.

Yugong Zhaoye: “…”

Wei Fu said bashfully, “Sorry. Force of habit.”

Despite saying that, he showed absolutely no intention of letting go. Instead, he dragged the chief official who had stormed over to demand an explanation into his arms, lowered his head, and delicately nibbled his ear. “Go ahead and ask, Your Highness.” “I promise to confess honestly.” “I’ll confess absolutely anything you want.”

Yugong Zhaoye kicked lightly at his shin from below. “Your hands aren’t behaving. How could the rest of you possibly behave? Let go.”

“No.” Wei Fu refused decisively. “I’m afraid you’ll run. Interrogate me like this.”

“Which one of us is interrogating the other?” Yugong Zhaoye reached up and gave his forehead a sharp flick. “Now you know how to be afraid. Why didn’t you confess earlier?”

Yugong Zhaoye’s palm strength was enough to crack stone monuments. He restrained himself this time, so although the sound was crisp, it did not particularly hurt.

But Yugong Zhaoye ordinarily did no more than pinch Wei Fu’s cheeks. He had never shown any habit of flicking his forehead—possibly because Wei Fu was tall enough that raising his hand was annoying. For him to make the effort now was clearly deliberate retaliation for Wei Fu boasting that His Highness had never even been willing to flick him with one finger.

Wei Fu froze. He looked like a dog that had never been struck before and had suddenly received a kick. A fine mist immediately covered his eyes. Whimpering, he buried his face against Yugong Zhaoye’s shoulder.

“Did it hurt?” Yugong Zhaoye had completely forgotten Wei Fu’s youthful history of nearly killing himself by running headfirst into a wall. He lifted Wei Fu’s face for inspection, pressed his fingers against the red mark on his forehead, and gently rubbed it. “So delicate.” “Interrogating you is surprisingly easy.”

Wei Fu was not hurt. He merely had a guilty conscience. Therefore, regardless of anything else, his first priority was to act pitiful. Tearfully leaning against Yugong Zhaoye’s shoulder, he squeezed his voice until every syllable dripped with grievance. “A’Ying… did you hear everything?”

“Mhm.” The moment Yugong Zhaoye remembered Wei Fu pounding the table in front of Xie Youlan, he wanted to laugh. He forcibly kept his expression stern. “I finally caught your fox tail.” “Behave yourself and confess voluntarily.”

For the past few days, Yugong Zhaoye had been circling around the King, searching for the traitor. No matter how he looked at any of the suspects, none seemed capable of pulling it off. Eventually, Yugong Ming told him that the information had come from Dongyu. That was when Yugong Zhaoye suddenly realized something was wrong. It was simply too coincidental.

He had originally assumed Yugong Ming had known about the King’s malignant illness for a long time and patiently endured, waiting until Xiling’s Minister-Regent reached the end of his term before charging back into Longsha. But the truth was that immediately before Wei Fu’s departure, Dongyu had just happened to uncover the Longsha King’s astonishing secret, immediately colluded with Yugong Ming, and sent him home to stir up chaos— only for the King to counterattack on the spot and capture the entire group.

Could it really have been that much of a coincidence?

Yugong Lie carried an enormous psychological burden. He was so guarded against Yugong Ming that merely hearing his brother had returned made him lose control. Yet according to Wei Fu, the moment he noticed the King’s weakness, all he had to do was ask one question and Yugong Lie confessed everything, then conveniently renewed Longsha’s alliance with Xiling. Why, when it came to Wei Fu, had the King suddenly displayed no caution whatsoever?

“Yes.” Wei Fu said pitifully, “I knew a long time ago that the King had leprosy.”

“How long ago?”

“Er…” His gaze drifted. “Around the time you and Xie Youlan went to find my mother.”

Yugong Zhaoye: “?”

Wei Fu had spoken so hesitantly that Yugong Zhaoye needed a moment to process the enormous turn. “The year before last?” “You discovered it after you’d only been here half a year?”

“During that period, the King would ‘occasionally catch a chill’ every few days. Several times when I was standing near him, I noticed faint red rashes on his hands.” “Once, he accidentally knocked over hot tea. Blisters formed on his arm, but he didn’t react at all.” “It looked like the symptoms of leprosy I’d read about in medical books, so I sent the Egret Guards to investigate.” Wei Fu confessed in a small voice: “The King had only recently ascended the throne then, and the palace was still rather chaotic. It wasn’t particularly difficult to investigate.”

His photographic memory really was absurdly useful. Even when all he had done was mechanically memorize medical books, apparently it had never failed him. Yugong Zhaoye thought Yugong Ming really ought to hear this. This was the sort of talent Yeguang should recruit.

Then his heart gave a heavy thump. Another thought suddenly occurred to him. “Then when the King poisoned you—was that also…”

“Ahaha…” Wei Fu laughed dryly. “He discovered I’d been digging into his secrets behind his back.” “The King was striking the mountain to frighten the tiger. He was warning me to behave.”

Yugong Zhaoye: “…”

Once one actually considered what Wei Fu had been doing back then— a Xiling minister monopolizing authority at Longsha’s court, becoming extremely friendly with Qiyun’s Resident Port Envoys, and secretly investigating the Longsha King’s most unspeakable secret… The only reason Yugong Lie had not ruthlessly disposed of him was that the power standing behind Wei Fu was simply too formidable to provoke!

“You absolutely must treat your Imperial Father with proper filial devotion in the future…” Yugong Zhaoye instructed him weakly.

“Huh? Oh.” Wei Fu said, “Haven’t I already secured Longsha for him?” Afraid that the longer Yugong Zhaoye thought, the angrier he would become, Wei Fu hurriedly confessed everything in one breath, like beans pouring from a split bamboo tube. “Later, when my term was nearing its end, I wanted a legitimate reason to stay.” “The most direct method was to make the King voluntarily ask for the alliance with Xiling to continue, so I needed to create a crisis for him.” “I traded the Dongyu portion of the Earth Mirror Map to Xie Youlan and had him pass the information to the Dongyu court, luring Yugong Ming into returning home to seize the throne.”

“Once Yugong Ming took the bait over there and the King realized here that he was returning with hostile intentions, the two of us already understood what was happening.” “So we simply laid everything out, discussed how to respond, and settled upon all the arrangements that followed.”

For a long while, Yugong Zhaoye made no sound. Wei Fu timidly raised his eyes and stole a glance. That hard, pale profile was solemn as frost and snow. His long lashes lowered silently. It was exceptionally pleasing to look at— and lethally dangerous enough to remove both Wei Fu’s legs on the spot.

Remembering Xie Youlan’s threats, Wei Fu immediately began trembling with fear. His fur practically stood on end. “A’Ying…”

Yugong Zhaoye knew Wei Fu had been like this since childhood. Once he decided to do something, he disregarded danger and tried every possible method until he succeeded. Yugong Zhaoye had thought Wei Fu abandoning a stable career in Xiling and running to Longsha as Minister-Regent was already the absolute limit of outrageous behavior. He had never imagined this stubborn creature could become even more insane.

Sovereigns. Thrones. Treasures coveted by everyone beneath heaven. Even his own life. There was nothing Wei Fu did not dare use as a wager. He had endured silently, lain hidden, and exhausted every scheme. With all that effort, he could have ascended Longsha’s throne himself, turning his palm to summon clouds and his hand to bring rain. Yet in the end, everything landed lightly inside one narrow alley.

“You nearly schemed our King out of existence.” Yugong Zhaoye tugged at the smooth ends of Wei Fu’s hanging hair. “Why are you suddenly trembling now?” “If anyone ought to be shaking from delayed fear, shouldn’t it be me?”

He did not look angry. Wei Fu leaned in and kissed him. When Yugong Zhaoye did not avoid it, Wei Fu immediately pushed his luck, rubbing against his ear and whimpering: “I know I was wrong.” “I’ll devote myself to assisting the King properly from now on.” “Your Highness, please don’t abandon me.”

Before Yugong Zhaoye, he made himself seem weak and pitiful, as though anyone in the world could bully him. Nothing like the same man who had slammed the table and shouted at Xie Youlan: If my love dies, all of you are going down with it!

Yugong Zhaoye had heard Xie Youlan’s grand argument from next door. He did not feel any great sense of contrast. Who did not know that this fox spirit could bite? In all the world, Wei Fu was probably the only person who still believed he behaved obediently.

To be meticulously obtained and wholeheartedly loved by someone so insane without even realizing his own insanity sounded rather frightening. But perhaps Yugong Zhaoye had spent too many years as an assassin. He happened to enjoy licking blood from the edge of a blade.

Just as his heart would tremble faintly whenever he saw Wei Fu genuinely angry, now that he had seen the true face beneath all of Wei Fu’s calculations, he instead felt a strange sense of satisfaction.

Yugong Zhaoye hooked one finger beneath Wei Fu’s chin and drew him closer to exchange a kiss. Half teasing and half thoughtful, he asked: “Young Master Wei’s methods of manipulating people’s hearts are practically sorcery. Everyone beneath heaven is held in your palm.” “Whether you’re kept or discarded—is that really something I have the authority to decide?”

Wei Fu’s features relaxed beneath the kiss. Even his gaze became clear. He found Yugong Zhaoye’s hand, drew it over, and pressed it against his chest. His heart pounded vividly beneath the center of Yugong Zhaoye’s palm, almost drowning out his softly spoken answer.

“But I’m already in Your Highness’s palm.”