Futile Devices Scans

Zhang San himself had not known he was capable of something so impressive.

He knew that the earthen fortress was too small. It could defend against a limited number of scouts and infantry, but it could never withstand proper siege equipment; sooner or later, the Xiao army would break into it. So months earlier, through General She, he had acquired a batch of saltpeter, sulfur, and realgar from Lanzhou. Following the formula General She gave him, he mixed a large number of gunpowder jars, hid them inside the fortress, and used Heaven-Shaking Thunder as the trigger.

Elio’s Notes: Heaven-Shaking Thunder (震天雷) is a historical name for an iron-cased gunpowder explosive documented in thirteenth-century Song-Jin warfare. The novel borrows the name here for its fictionalized setting.

After withdrawing the soldiers earlier, Zhang San himself had remained behind until the very end and lit the long fuse. He had thought blowing up the earthen fortress would be enough, but never expected the explosion to trigger a landslide as well. Rocks near the fortress came thundering down and smashed the riverbank into complete ruin.

He had been the last to run and was nearly buried inside the tunnel. Covered from head to toe in dust, he was dragged out of the shaft by Liu Wu and the others.

＊

When he emerged, Zhou Qi and Zhou Ba were standing outside with faces like they were attending a funeral. Zhou Ba was even crying.

Zhang San said, “What are you crying for! You blind fools! I’m not dead!”

Zhou Ba wailed, “Wuwuwu… my sentry tower…”

He had lived there for half a year! How could he not have feelings for it? After it had been rebuilt, every stone had been laid by his and his elder brother’s own hands! There was even a little barbecue stove! And with one explosion, the Boss had blown it all away! Wuwuwu!

Zhang San sighed. “Stop crying! I’ll build another one for you two at the southern city gate. The tallest one, with the farthest view!”

“Wuwuwu, don’t let anyone else build it. My brother and I will build it ourselves…”

“Build it, build it, build it! Go build it right now! Go, go, go!”

＊

After soothing the Zhou brothers, Zhang San did not even have time to drink a mouthful of water before personally leading men down the mountain path. He climbed onto the rockfall halfway up the mountain and looked down. The riverbank was covered in fallen rocks and Xiao corpses, but the remaining Xiao troops were withdrawing in perfect order back to their camp across the river. Their great banner had not fallen; its black face still fluttered in the wind.

How damned strange! That western camp commander had escaped yet again!

＊

The western camp commander thought it was damned strange too! According to the soldiers who had escaped, there was only one city gate up the mountain—a tiny city the size of a palm squeezed between cracks in the hills. Where had so many defenders come from? What connection did it have to the earthen fortress below? Where had all those archers inside the fortress gone? And there had actually been explosives buried inside!

In two days, he had not even touched the city gate and had already lost around eight hundred men halfway up the mountain and at its foot. The explosion had even alarmed the Xiao commander-in-chief, who sent someone to demand an explanation. The western camp commander could only stall for time, insisting that the Great Xuan troops were crafty, that the mountain was probably far more complicated than it appeared, and that several thousand soldiers might be stationed there. He begged for a few more days to take the city.

＊

The two sides fought bitterly for several days.

The western camp commander borrowed one hundred crossbowmen from the southern camp. Under cover of their powerful crossbows, he finally charged to the base of the rockfall, set up scaling ladders, and drove back the Great Xuan archers blocking the way.

After driving off the defenders, he did not dare advance rashly across the rocks again, afraid there might be more traps ahead. He established sentry posts along the mountain road, set up camp there, and ordered his soldiers to chisel apart and move the fallen rocks by hand. They worked day and night without rest for two full days before finally opening a gap barely two meters wide.

That night they rested along the mountain road, planning to move the siege equipment through the gap at daybreak and launch a major assault on the city.

Before dawn, terrified screams from the sentries suddenly rang through the dimness.

Dozens of maddened oxen charged through the sentry posts and burst through the gap, red cloth covering their heads and blazing oil bladders strapped to their backs. The mountain road was narrow, and the Xiao tents stood crowded in a single line like one long black snake. The maddened oxen crashed into the camp and ran wildly from one end to the other, burning the tents clean from the snake’s head to its tail. Most of the Xiao soldiers were still asleep and had no time even to get up. Amid shrill screams, men and tents alike went up in flames, turning them into human torches…

＊

The western camp commander led the remnants of his force down the mountain in utter disgrace. He did not even dare stop at the foot of the mountain and only looked back after crossing the bridge over the river—only to see the entire mountain road burning as a sea of fire.

Of the western camp’s three thousand elite troops, only around three hundred remained after the explosion and the fire.

＊

The mountain fire burned for a day and a night and had still not gone out by noon the following day. The living creatures of the mountain could not escape the disaster, and huge stretches of forest were destroyed as well. All of Yuquan Mountain lay beneath black smoke, with half the mountainside covered in thick ash.

Ant County was protected by mountain walls on three sides and had not been reached by the fire, but smoke and dust still filled the air. Following orders from the county yamen, the villagers tightly closed their doors and windows and stayed indoors to avoid it.

＊

Zhang San had a wet cloth tied over his mouth and nose. Alone, he leaned against the newly built sentry tower at the southern city gate, staring blankly ahead. The archers defending the city had all taken shelter inside, and even Zhou Qi and Zhou Ba could no longer endure the smoke and dust and did not dare remain on watch.

Zhang San’s hair and face were covered in mountain ash, but he did not lift a hand to brush it away. He simply watched the distant firelight in silence.

He knew that what he had done was too ruthless. He had sacrificed not only the county’s strong oxen, but also a vast stretch of forest.

If Sisi were here, he would definitely grieve for the mountain’s living creatures and those oxen. He would definitely blame me.

If Sisi were here…

＊

Zhang San lowered his eyes numbly. Ever since he was young, he had known there was a mad seed buried in his heart—arrogant and impulsive, recklessly bold, violent and untamed.

When he was little, Elder Sister’s hard slaps and wooden boards had disciplined him severely enough to suppress that ferocity; after joining the army, he had come under Chief Commander Wang and Brother Xu. By good fortune, father and son had kept him in check, teaching him reason and teaching him restraint.

After meeting Sisi, although Sisi often seemed even more impulsive than he was, all of it came from a kind and innocent heart filled with hot blood—warm and bright enough to kindle something in Zhang San, making him more restrained and more willing to reflect on himself.

But ever since separating from Sisi, it felt as though his heart had been dug out whole, leaving him empty and numb, muddled and dark.

The day he declared that he would remain and defend Ant County and never surrender, not a single commoner had been willing to leave. They all said they would follow him in defending their homes to the death and fight to the very end.

In truth, it made sense. The Xiao army had surrounded the region for so long that everyone who wanted to flee had already fled. Those who remained either did not want to leave or could not. Most of the villagers were poor, with no one to rely on and neither money nor influence. Elsewhere, they would only become displaced refugees begging along the road, starving and freezing, their lives impossible to protect. And even if they barely survived, it might mean only a few more months. If Kuiyuan fell and Great Xuan perished, would they not still end up sheep-slaves, beaten and killed at will?

The refugees who had wandered into the earthen fortress understood the same thing. That was why they too had remained and done everything in their power to help the Boss. Zhang San carried the lives of everyone in the county upon his shoulders, as well as the hope of Kuiyuan City. To win this battle, to protect everyone, he had no choice but to harden his heart and completely unleash the ferocity he had suppressed for so many years.

Yet the more ruthlessly he killed, the colder his blood became, and the more numb he grew.

If Sisi were here…

At least Sisi would scold him, shake him awake, calm him down… and perhaps warm him a little too.

＊

As though Heaven itself could no longer bear the spreading mountain fire and the suffering of all living things, the sky, which had seen no rain for half a month, suddenly darkened. Lightning flashed and thunder rolled for only a short while before a fine drizzle began to fall.

The great fire gradually died, and the dust and smoke dispersed.

Zhang San still stood numbly in the rain, staring blankly at the mountain forest burned pitch-black. The rain was slightly warmer than his ice-cold body, softly embracing his loneliness and self-reproach. Water ran along his hard jaw and dripped onto his broad chest.

“…Brother Xiao!” Suddenly, he heard a faint voice behind him through the rain, as though coming from below the city tower.

He slowly blinked and let out a soft laugh.

When did I fall into a dream, that I can hear Sisi’s voice? Did I fail to escape from the tunnel? Did that great fire burn me to death too? Is even this gentle rain part of the dream—all of it nothing more than a foolish fantasy before death?

＊

He did not turn around. The person below was still far away, breathing hard, and hurriedly called again, “Brother Xiao!”

Zhang San’s body stiffened.

Stiffly, he lifted a hand and pulled the wet cloth from his face, yet still did not dare turn around. He was afraid that if he did, the dream would vanish. Familiar footsteps climbed the gate tower toward him, light and hurried, as fast as his own pounding heartbeat.

Something crashed heavily into his back, making his breath catch, his soul seem to shudder, and nearly pitching him forward off the sentry tower!

Two arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him backward and holding him tightly in warmth!

＊

Li Si’s warm cheek rubbed against the back of his icy neck, leaving a hurried breath beside his ear. Then Li Si immediately lifted his head and impatiently turned Zhang San’s stiff, cold body around. Face-to-face, he called, “Brother Xiao.”

Zhang San stared at him blankly.

This was not a dream.

In dreams… there had never been such a filthy Sisi.

Li Si was just like him, covered from head to toe in mountain ash. The rain had turned it into black mud all over him. His forehead was streaked with dirt and ash. Only his mouth, nose, and cheeks appeared to have been covered by a face cloth and remained barely clean—but when he rubbed against Zhang San’s filthy neck just now, black mud smeared across those too.

Zhang San stared blankly at this little banished immortal who had once again fallen into the mortal world and wrapped himself in dirt and dust. Unable to believe his sudden appearance, he asked incoherently, “Did you fall from Heaven…? Didn’t I tell you not to come back…? How did you…”

Li Si’s jewel-bright eyes filled with tears of joy and longing. Holding them back, he finally shouted the words he had suppressed for so many days: “Big tiger! Big liar!”

He cupped Brother Xiao’s filthy, dazed face and, with all his strength, showed him some very forceful “affection.”

＊

That day, Liu Wu had originally been in the clerks’ duty room at the county yamen, accompanying Chen Lu while he inventoried supplies, when defenders from the northern gate came running over to report, “Envoy Li is back! He went to the southern gate to find the Commander!” Liu Wu hurriedly mounted a horse, took Junior Clerk Chen with him, and went to welcome Envoy Li.

The two rode through the fine wind and rain, breathing in the fresh, sweet air they had been deprived of for two days. Their horse went dilu, dilu as they made their way lightly to the southern city gate. Zhou Qi and Zhou Ba had also come out of the duty room beneath the gate and were standing in the street, both brothers tilting their heads up with mouths hanging open as though catching rain.

Elio’s Notes: Dilu (的卢) is Liu Bei’s famed horse from Three Kingdoms lore. Here, the author playfully turns its name into the sound of the horse’s hoofbeats.

Liu Wu swung down from the horse and lifted Chen Lu down after him. As he walked, he asked, “What are you two doing? Where are the Commander and Envoy Li?”

The Zhou brothers could not close their mouths. They pointed upward.

Liu Wu and Chen Lu looked up as well. Their mouths immediately fell open too.

—A new sentry tower had been erected atop the gate tower, standing high in the air. Commander Zhang and Envoy Li were standing on top of it, wrapped around each other in the wind and rain and fiercely gnawing at each other’s mouths.

Liu Wu stared for a long while before lifting an arm and covering Chen Lu’s eyes.

Chen Lu said, “Wuzhi…”

Liu Wu said, “Shut up…”

＊

The other soldiers in the duty room saw how strange the four of them looked and became intensely curious, poking their heads around the doorway and wanting to come out to watch.

Liu Wu barked, “Go back inside! Close the door! Anyone who dares come out will be dealt with under military law!”

＊

Only after the rain stopped did Commander Zhang and Envoy Li slowly and reluctantly come down from the gate tower.

Commander Zhang’s mouth had been bitten swollen, and his split lips silently trickled blood. He did not bother wiping it away, his expression utterly calm as though nothing had happened.

Envoy Li’s mouth was somewhat swollen too, and several deep tiger-tooth marks remained on his cheeks. Although there was a clear tear track at the corner of his eye, his entire face was happy and his eyes were bright and clear.

Since the two of them were not embarrassed, the embarrassment fell to everyone else. Liu Wu and Chen Lu could barely look at them, and the Zhou brothers had already been driven back into the duty room by Liu Wu.

Liu Wu coughed. “Envoy Li, why have you come back?” Li Si had a large bamboo basket strapped to his back, tightly covered with oilcloth—he had completely forgotten to take it off earlier while hugging Brother Xiao and showing him all that forceful “affection.” He removed the basket and stuffed it into Liu Wu’s arms. “I came to bring you pigeons.”

Liu Wu caught the basket full of cooing creatures. “Pi… pigeons?”

“Carrier pigeons from Yuci County. Pacification Commissioner Li has already brought the reinforcements to Yuci County.”

Li Si lowered his head and rummaged through his bundle. First he produced two plump oil-paper packets, and the fragrance of peanuts immediately filled the air.

Liu Wu: “???”

Li Si carefully handed the peanut cakes to Junior Clerk Chen to hold, then continued rummaging until he produced another flat oil-paper packet. When he opened it, inside was a paper booklet soaked in the rich smell of peanuts.

“A cipher book Pacification Commissioner Li gave me, for writing secret letters to him.”

Liu Wu asked, “Who is Pacification Commissioner Li?”

＊

Li Si explained Pacification Commissioner Li to everyone.

Yuci County lay east of Jiao County and south of Kuiyuan City. More than a month earlier, the younger Commissioner Zuo’s reinforcements had reached this place. At the time, the younger Commissioner Zuo had wanted to station his troops in Yuci, conserve their strength, wait for the other reinforcements to arrive, and then advance north together against the Xiao army. But the court pressed him onward, and allied forces abandoned him. With no choice, he marched north alone, only to be surrounded by the Xiao army in a mountain ravine dozens of li from Kuiyuan City. All his efforts failed at the final step, and he died tragically in battle.

Now Li Gang had arrived alone as well. He did not dare act recklessly and repeat the same mistake, so he established camp at Yuci, training and restoring the army while sending Li Si ahead to establish contact with Ant County and Kuiyuan so they could discuss a plan to defeat the enemy. Li Si had traveled alone, taking a winding route around Jiao County and secretly returning to Ant County through the hidden path near the mountain.

The past two days, when the mountain fire had been spreading, were exactly when he had been sneaking over. Fortunately, the fire was on the front side of the mountain, while the hidden path was at the back, with a tall ridge separating them. He had not been burned into the sea of fire as well.

＊

When Zhang San heard this, lingering fear flooded through him. He hugged Sisi tightly from behind and buried his face in the hollow of his shoulder—the big tiger had become the one clinging and acting spoiled.

Liu Wu, unable to keep watching, said, “Cough! I—I’ll go back to the county yamen first and settle the pigeons.”

Chen Lu, who still wanted to watch but was being dragged away by Liu Wu, said, “I—I’ll go back to the county yamen and write a letter to Kuiyuan.”

Li Si said, “Please wait, both of you.”

He gave one packet of peanut cakes to them. “My mother asked me to bring some specialties from the capital. Please have some, and trouble you to share them with Sister Wu and her husband too.”

＊

Liu Wu and Chen Lu hurriedly mounted the horse and fled, one carrying pigeons and the other carrying peanut cakes.

Zhou Qi and Zhou Ba opened the duty-room door a tiny crack and secretly peered outside. Seeing that the Boss was still holding Young Master Li and refusing to let go, Zhou Qi very tactlessly asked in a small voice, “Boss, can we come out now?”

Zhang San’s face remained buried behind Li Si’s shoulder. His muffled voice answered, “Shut up. Close the door.”

Zhou Qi said, “Yes!”

＊

Boss Zhang tyrannically kept everyone else indoors while openly continuing to hug Young Master Li outside. Like a big cat, he rubbed against Li Si’s neck for a long time, making up for four entire months.

Li Si, however, was rubbed until his whole face turned red and he could barely stand. He struggled weakly and said in a tiny voice, “Brother Xiao.”

“Mm?”

“It’ll be dark soon.”

“Mm.”

“I want to go to Elder Sister’s house and eat steamed buns.”

Zhang San lifted his face in disbelief. “We haven’t seen each other for this long, and all you can think about is steamed buns?”

Li Si was also thinking about pork stew, but it was not as though he could eat that now. He escaped from Brother Xiao’s arms and carefully rummaged through his bundle again, producing an entire nest of little white eggs wrapped in clothing.

“These are the eggs the pigeons laid these past few days. There are twenty. I saved all of them for Elder Sister to use as steamed-bun filling.”

Zhang San: “…”

Li Si: “…Aah!!”

＊

Another pair of tooth marks appeared on Li Si’s face.

Before leaving, he knocked open the duty-room door and shared the peanut cakes with Zhou Qi, Zhou Ba, and the soldiers defending the city. There were too many people, so each person received only the tiniest corner.

Zhou Qi treasured his fragrant little piece as he chewed, then leaned toward the Boss’s ear and whispered, “Boss, congratulations, congratulations. Your stronghold bride is back!”

Elio’s Notes: “Stronghold bride” traditionally refers to a bandit chief’s bride or wife at his stronghold. Zhou Qi is teasing Zhang San.

The Boss gave a cold snort. This fellow was usually blind and tactless beyond belief, but this particular “stronghold bride” rather pleased the tiger’s heart.

The Boss bared his tiger teeth and gave Zhou Qi’s back a satisfied tiger-paw slap, knocking him into a stagger. Then he took the hand of his stronghold bride, lost and found again, and swaggered grandly back toward the tiger’s den.