Futile Devices Scans

On the way back, Li Si was still murmuring on and on without stopping.

First, he spoke of proper matters, explaining to Brother Xiao everything he had discovered about Tianmen Pass’s defenses, the approximate number of defenders, and where they were stationed, all in complete detail.

After that, he began his messy, scattered chatter—from the various armies performing “hundred entertainments” during His Majesty’s annual military review to the dragon boat races at Jinming Lake where teams competed for the prize, from Grandma’s guoduo dumplings to the sweet rice balls sold at wine shops…

In truth, there were not many things he could talk about. His life had been regular and simple; aside from practicing martial arts, he taught others, and he had never tasted any proper delicacies or rare dishes.

But Zhang San kept listening seriously and attentively, occasionally replying, “Really?” or “That’s wonderful.”

The fierce afternoon sunlight was cut by the leaves into tiny, scattered speckles, spilling across the road ahead of them. Towering trees blocked the cold mountain wind, leaving only a gentle breeze brushing past, lifting a loose lock of hair by Li Si’s cheek.

Several times, Zhang San tucked it back behind his ear for him, his warm fingertips brushing over the cold, slightly reddened shell of his ear.

The hands they held had never let go.

–

The rugged mountain road became warm and long, and even the crunch of their feet stepping into the snow sounded like a light little tune.

How nice it would be if this road were so long it had no end.

–

At sunset, they reached the North City Gate. There was no County Commandant Liu or Junior Clerk Chen waiting there with craned necks, only craftsmen continuing to build the gate in an orderly fashion—clearly, everything had returned to calm once more.

Zhang San knew very well that this calm was only temporary. He looked back at Li Si, whose steps had noticeably slowed. “What’s wrong?”

Li Si also understood that the end of the mountain road was no longer far from parting, and the lightness he had felt along the way sank again.

Zhang San pinched his cold cheek and coaxed him, “Let’s go eat at Elder Sister’s house. Come on.”

–

There was no pork to eat, so Elder Sister made steamed cakes stuffed with napa cabbage and egg. She had even wanted to steel her heart and stew the only old hen the family had raised for three years, but Qiao Shen hugged the chicken and cried, “Sister, don’t kill it!” Brother-in-law also came to persuade her, saying, “On such a good day, don’t take life and make the child cry like this.” Only then did Elder Sister put down the butcher’s knife.

The whole family gathered around the steamed cakes and a large pot of plain noodle soup, and Brother-in-law poured everyone a bowl of plum wine—even Li Si was given the amount at the bottom of a bowl. Amid the rising steam, everyone’s eyes grew a little hot, and they all silently lowered their heads, no one speaking.

In the end, it was Elder Sister who first lifted her wine bowl. “Don’t sit here mourning like someone died! A’Shen is going to the capital tomorrow to become an imperial relative, and Fourth Brother is going to follow along and rise in rank and make his fortune. This is a great happy occasion! Today is a good day!”

Qiao Shen pouted, tears gathering in his eyes. “Sister, I don’t want to leave. I can’t bear to part with you, and I can’t bear to part with Uncle Rong.” Uncle Rong was his old steward.

Elder Sister set down her bowl and glared, frightening the tears at the corners of his eyes back in. “What are you crying for! It’s not as if we’ll never see each other again! Uncle Rong is still waiting for you to become an imperial relative and bring him to the capital to enjoy an easy life! Didn’t you also say that once you have money in the future, you’ll open a steamed-cake shop for your Elder Sister in Kuiyuan City?”

Brother-in-law whispered, “The child only said that casually. Why are you taking it seriously? How could we accept a shop from a child…”

Elder Sister had only been coaxing Qiao Shen and was not truly asking for a shop. Angered, she glared at Brother-in-law. Brother-in-law shrank his neck and no longer dared speak.

It was still Zhang San who lifted his wine bowl and said, “Sister is right. This is a great happy occasion! Today, we only speak happy words. Nothing else. Let’s drink!”

Everyone at the table lifted their wine bowls and clinked them together. Elder Sister and Brother-in-law both drained theirs in one gulp. Qiao Shen took a symbolic sip with tears in his eyes. Just as Li Si was about to drink, Zhang San reached out and pressed a finger against the rim of his bowl.

Zhang San leaned over to check the wine in his bowl—it really was only the amount at the bottom of a bowl—before letting go.

–

The family began eating and drinking, speaking in bits and pieces again. This time, the one who spoke the most was Qiao Shen. The young master could not stop chattering, talking about all sorts of interesting things that had happened after he came to Ant County, and then speaking of the past when he and the old steward had depended on each other for survival…

Li Si, on the other hand, grew quiet. After silently eating his fill, he opened his eyes wide and listened attentively to his little brother speak.

As he listened, the hand he had placed beneath the table grew warm. Zhang San had secretly taken hold of his palm.

Brother Xiao was uneasy again, he thought. He had to comfort him. So he held Zhang San’s hand tightly in return.

He had only taken one sip of wine, so his mind was very clear. He did not see Elder Sister turn into a tiger, nor did he see Brother-in-law turn into a mountain goat. Yet when he turned to look at Brother Xiao, he suddenly discovered that although Brother Xiao still had that sharp, handsome human face, two fluffy tiger ears had appeared on top of his head…

Huh???

Li Si’s eyes widened in shock, and he looked down again—Brother Xiao also had a large golden tail coiled around his waist!

Huh!!!

Li Si remembered nothing of what happened when he had been drunk before. This was the first time, while still conscious, that he had seen Brother Xiao’s “true form.” He was so startled that his eyes went wide and round.

Zhang San was secretly holding his hand beneath the table, while his eyes were focused on Qiao Shen. Originally, he had been listening seriously to his little brother speak. Suddenly, he felt Sisi let go of his hand, and then his waist itched.

Zhang San looked down in confusion—only to see Sisi’s hand tracing all the way around his waist, then moving downward toward his backside…

His eyelid twitched. He quickly grabbed this ill-behaved bad little hoof and asked in a low voice, “What are you doing?”

Li Si said in surprise, “There’s a tail.”

“A tail my ass,” Zhang San said, both annoyed and amused. “You little fool, how can you get drunk from a single sip of wine?”

Li Si shook his head hard. “I’m not drunk. There really is a tail. It grows out from here…”

He tried to feel along Zhang San’s waist toward his tailbone, but Brother Xiao seized his restless hand, lifted it, and bit it hard.

“Neigh!” Li Si let out a little colt cry from the pain.

Elder Sister’s chopsticks came rapping over. “Why are you bullying him again!”

Zhang San said, “He bullied me first! He’s drunk!”

The two siblings argued there. Li Si lowered his head and aggrievedly rubbed the two round tooth marks on the back of his hand. Qiao Shen, never one to mind watching trouble grow bigger, secretly poured another half bowl of wine into Fourth Brother’s bowl—only for Brother-in-law to pour it back, earning Qiao Shen yet another dragon horn.

–

The lively meal still eventually came to an end. Since it was getting late, Zhang San told Qiao Shen to rest properly at Elder Sister’s house tonight, saying he would come pick him up early the next morning.

Before they left, Elder Sister pulled Li Si aside and took out an exquisitely made, beautifully embroidered money pouch—it was the late Imperial City Directorate Commander’s money pouch, the one Zhang San had robbed from Li Si on the night they first met and later given to Elder Sister’s family.

“Take this money back. Third Brother told me he robbed it from you back when he didn’t know any better.”

Li Si hurriedly shook his head. “This isn’t mine. It was the late Imperial City Directorate Commander’s money pouch. I took it from him.”

Elder Sister said, “Even after a person dies, they still have family. It ought to be returned to them.”

So Li Si accepted the money pouch and obediently nodded. “All right. I’ll go back and look for his family.”

Elder Sister sighed again. “That glutton Third Brother, I’ve already dealt with him for you. Don’t keep spoiling him in the future and letting him bully you.”

Li Si shook his head. “Brother Xiao doesn’t bull—Brother Xiao’s bullying is good.”

Elder Sister burst into laughter and gently patted his head. “You really are a little fool! Be careful in everything on the road back to the capital. I’ll leave Little Brother to you. The two of you must both stay safe. Once the war is over, perhaps Elder Sister and Brother-in-law will come to the capital to see you. Elder Sister and Brother-in-law have never been to the capital in this lifetime.”

The moment Li Si heard this, he became delighted. His eyes shone brightly as he said, “All right! Elder Sister and Brother-in-law are welcome! Come soon!”

–

After bidding farewell to Elder Sister and Brother-in-law, Li Si followed Zhang San back to the county yamen to rest. Qiao Shen had looked forward to it all night, but in the end failed to see Third Brother carry Fourth Brother back again, so he clung to the courtyard gate and sighed.

“Still peeking! Just like your Third Brother, all full of little bad thoughts!” Elder Sister gave him another dragon horn on the head, keeping company with the one Brother-in-law had given him earlier.

She did not care whether this little child would become imperial kin, noble relative, soaring dragon, or flying phoenix in the future. As long as he was still in this household for one more day, he was still her own little brother. “Go help your brother-in-law wash the dishes!”

–

Zhang San and Li Si carried a lantern and walked slowly back to the county yamen. The little alley was quiet and secluded, and the stone road was slightly slippery. Afraid of falling, they still walked hand in hand.

Zhang San felt gloomy tonight and had unknowingly drunk a great deal of wine. He had a strong tolerance and felt he was perfectly sober, but his steps had become somewhat unsteady and staggering. At first, Li Si held his hand; later, it became the two of them pressed close together while Li Si supported him; in the end, Li Si even tried to carry him on his back.

“Don’t…” Zhang San kept pushing him. “You’re injured…”

“I can carry you.”

The two pushed, pulled, and tugged at each other a few times. In the end, Zhang San was still carried on his back. The tiger cloak draped over his body hung down, covering both of them, making it truly look as though Li Si were carrying a large tiger home.

The more Li Si walked, the redder his ears became. He secretly lowered his eyes for a look—Brother Xiao’s fluffy, golden tiger tail was wrapped around his thigh.

It was making him unsteady on his feet!

How was Brother Xiao this bad? Even drunk and with tiger ears grown out, he was still bullying him!

But now he knew that his face growing red and hot was not because he was angry. Although he still did not know what kind of feeling this was, in any case, it was a good thing.

So he merely lowered his head and walked earnestly in silence, trying his best to ignore that big tail wrapped around his leg, whose tip was still curling and uncurling.

–

Li Si worked hard to carry the large tiger back to the county yamen. Although he was young and strong, the carrying still left him panting.

From afar, Cook Wu saw one person carrying another and assumed it was the Boss carrying the young master. She went forward to call out, “Boss, is Young Master Li—Young Master Li? Is it you carrying the Boss? What happened to him? Is he drunk?”

Hearing her voice, Zhang San struggled to get down, but Li Si held him firmly in place. “Sister Wu, he’s drunk.”

“I’ll go boil him a bowl of sobering soup. Have him drink it before sleeping.”

“Thank you, Sister Wu.”

–

Li Si then steadily carried the large tiger to the big bed in the main room, helped the half-drunk, half-awake Brother Xiao take off his outer jacket and boots, then went out to ask Cook Wu for a basin of hot water and brought it back to wash Brother Xiao’s face and hands.

Brother Xiao was still wearing his last inner shirt. Li Si wanted to undo the frog buttons and wipe down Brother Xiao’s body, but was suddenly blocked.

Li Si froze, then lifted his head blankly.

Zhang San covered his collar and mumbled, “I’ll do it myself…”

Yet this little fool suddenly became much smarter. His brows furrowed, and he stubbornly insisted on tugging at Zhang San’s clothes.

Zhang San still tried to muddle his way through. “What are you doing… Don’t take liberties with me… Let go…”

Li Si pulled open his clothes and stared at the cloth strips wrapped all over his body—seeping with blood, giving off a pungent smell of medicine. He had smelled it on the mountain road today, but Brother Xiao had said it was because he had killed bandits and had not had time to wash and change.

Zhang San watched helplessly as tears once again gathered in his eyes. With damp eyes and a furious voice, Li Si shouted, “You lied to me again!”

—He had so many wounds on his body, yet tonight he had still indulged him and let himself be carried back on his back! The wounds across his chest had all been crushed! Brother Xiao must have been hurting the whole way! And he had actually endured it and pretended nothing was wrong!

Zhang San was so frightened that even the wine left him. He quickly pulled Li Si into his arms and coaxed him. “I didn’t lie—no, no, I did lie, I did. Don’t cry. Listen to me…”

Li Si fiercely wiped his eyes. “I’m not crying! Hurry and explain!”

“These aren’t injuries. They were to trick that Xiao bandit leader. I cut them myself. They’re very shallow and don’t matter. They really don’t matter…”

Holding him in his arms, Zhang San quickly explained how he had pretended to be “County Commandant Liu” today, how he had had himself tied up tightly, and how he had pretended to be wounded in order to deceive the Xiao army, making that fierce battle sound light and ordinary. Li Si listened as Zhang San kept speaking beside his ear, making the roots of his ears turn red and his head buzz, but only two sentences kept turning over and over in his mind—

Brother Xiao actually took a knife and cut himself!

How could he be so reckless!

–

At that moment, Cook Wu knocked outside the door, delivering the sobering soup. Only then did the ashen-faced Li Si rise and open the door. Although he was angry, he first thanked Cook Wu. “Thank you, Sister Wu. You should hurry and rest.”

Cook Wu asked, “What’s wrong, Young Master? You look unhappy.”

Li Si trusted and respected her, and in his anger, he simply complained to her. “He lied to me again and got hurt again! He cut himself with a knife many times!”

Cook Wu grew nervous too and quickly asked into the room, “Boss! Do you need me to call a doctor?”

From inside, the Boss shouted with plenty of breath, “Sister, don’t go! They’re only a few superficial wounds. The doctor has already looked at them. Don’t worry. Go rest early!”

That did indeed sound as though he was fine. Cook Wu relaxed and comforted Li Si. “Young Master is worried about the Boss. Give him some hot soup, and you two should rest early too.”

–

Li Si failed to successfully lodge his complaint and grew even angrier. Angry and distressed, he carried the soup back. Carefully, he brought the bowl to Brother Xiao’s lips, but his voice was still fierce. “Drink slowly! It’s hot!”

Zhang San was so amused by this little manner of his that he kept laughing. Seeing Li Si’s face wrinkle even more with anger, he said, “All right, all right. I won’t laugh. Let go. I’ll hold it myself.”

Zhang San held the bowl himself, and because it was hot, he could only sip it bit by bit, with no time to speak. Li Si was so angry that he circled the room several times. He was truly so angry that he did not want to bother with Brother Xiao anymore, yet he could not bear to ignore him either. He remembered that last time the two of them had fallen into an awkward quarrel and gone several days without speaking, it had been Brother Xiao who first came to “talk things through” with him.

So he rolled up his sleeves, sat back down beside the bed, and said fiercely, “We’re going to talk this through!”

He spoke in the capital accent, and his Hedong dialect was not accurate, but his face was full of solemn seriousness. Zhang San was so amused he nearly laughed again, only to be glared back into silence.

Zhang San first waved at him, signaling for him to wait, then finished the soup and set the bowl aside before saying, “Ahem. Then let’s talk.”

Li Si said fiercely, “You shouldn’t have lied to me!”

“Yes, yes. I was wrong. But it wasn’t on purpose. I was afraid you would worry…”

“If you had told me earlier that you had wounds on your body, I wouldn’t have carried you tonight, and I wouldn’t have let you drink wine either. Second Uncle said that injured people can’t drink wine! You hid it from me. That was wrong!”

The large tiger looked honest. “Yes, yes. It was my fault. But these injuries aren’t serious. They don’t matter…”

“You’re not allowed to say ‘but’! When you’re wrong, you have to change! You can’t make excuses!”

“All right, all right. Yes, yes.”

Li Si had “talked it through” clearly, but Brother Xiao’s attitude was soft and yielding. Li Si felt like he had thrown a heavy punch into a pile of straw, and the bellyful of fire he had been holding in still had nowhere to go.

Seeing that his face was still wrinkled, Zhang San smiled and coaxed him again. “Don’t be angry. It’s all my fault. Hurry and wash up, then rest early.”

Li Si sighed, rose, and went to wash. After taking off his padded jacket and wiping down his body once, he climbed under the quilt, pressed his face against Brother Xiao’s shoulder in the familiar way, and sighed again.

When he sighed, he sounded like a solemn little old man. Zhang San wanted to laugh but did not dare, and holding it in was truly painful.

With his face buried against Zhang San’s shoulder, Li Si said in a muffled voice, “Brother Xiao.”

“Mm.”

“In the future, you’re not allowed to lie to me.”

Zhang San thought to himself: How can anyone say that for certain? Your Brother Xiao is very bad, alas.But aloud, he said, “All right, all right, all right.”

Li Si immediately felt that something was wrong from the sound of his voice. He lifted his head and looked, then punched Zhang San’s arm. “Big tiger!”

The tiger ears were still there now! They were moving back and forth on top of his head; one look and anyone could tell he was guilty!

Li Si stared at those two furry ears moving back and forth. After looking for only a little while, his anger faded—who could stay angry at something so fluffy?

Zhang San did not know that his anger had vanished so quickly. Hearing him stay silent for a long while, he turned onto his side, gathered Li Si into his arms, and coaxed him softly. “Be good. Don’t be angry anymore.”

As Li Si was drawn over, he sighed and said, “Brother Xiao, I’m leaving tomorrow. I’m very worried about you. I really can’t bear to…”

His face was pressed into Zhang San’s chest, and the familiar warmth rushed toward him. His voice cut off abruptly.

“…”

Zhang San was very puzzled. The little fool had been murmuring on and on, so why had he suddenly gone silent?

Say “I can’t bear to part with you” again for me to hear!

Bewildered, he cupped Sisi’s face and lifted it up. “Sisi… Why have you gone stupid again! Oh! So it turns out that as soon as you bury your face here, you go stupid???”

–

Because Li Si had grown dizzy and dazed, misfortune turned into fortune. This night before separation, which should have been full of painful reluctance and sleepless tossing and turning, passed with him sleeping beautifully through it.

His Brother Xiao slept much worse than he did. Early the next morning, with two large dark circles under his eyes, he lay sideways beside him, propping his head on one hand and looking at him with a complicated expression.

Seeing Li Si open his eyes in a daze, Brother Xiao spoke darkly. “Little lecher, I truly didn’t know you were already this lecherous from the very first time we met. Your head still hasn’t figured anything out, but your face sure figured things out early. No wonder even drunk, you kept burying yourself here. You really had yourself a grand time, didn’t you!”

Li Si was still muddled from sleep and did not understand a single word. He asked blankly, “What?”

Brother Xiao bared his tiger teeth and bit him on the cheek.

“Neigh!!!”

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