AC – Chapter 35: I Can’t Bear to Part with You

After sunset, they lit torches and made their way through the forest. After walking for roughly another hour, they finally reached the cliff the yamen runners had mentioned.

The sky was too dark, and the torchlight was limited. Searching for the iron-chain bridge along the cliff edge at such a time would be far too dangerous. The two therefore decided to rest there for the night and search again after daybreak.

Holding the torch, Zhang San looked around and saw that the area around the cliff was indeed full of traces left behind from its former military use: several grooves had been carved into the stone walls, meant for tying up cattle and horse reins; beneath a collapsed pile of stones were signs of habitation, where a temporary sleeping shelter had once stood before the passage of time caused it to cave in; after brushing aside more snow, he found broken stones and discarded bricks on the ground, where cooking pots had once been set up, and where the two yamen runners had also cooked a few days earlier.

Among the cracked rocks near the cliff edge was also a small mountain spring. Zhang San broke open the frozen outer layer, and beneath it, spring water still flowed with a soft gurgle. He scooped some up and tasted it; it was cold, clear, and sweet.

Zhang San cut down several small trees to use as supports, then took the leather tarp from their pack and set it up to make a simple marching tent. He then placed a small iron pot atop the broken stones and discarded bricks, collected some spring water, and put it into the pot together with the dried goat milk they had brought, simmering it until it melted. After that, he tore the dry flatbread into long strips, dipped them into the goat-milk soup until they softened, and handed them to Li Si to taste.

The scent of grain mingled with the fragrance of milk. Li Si stuffed one bite into his mouth, and his eyes lit up again.

He truly was very easy to keep fed. He responded enthusiastically to every kind of food and was very easy to satisfy and make happy. As Zhang San ate, he looked at him openly, the corners of his mouth carrying a smile. Li Si had originally been eating seriously, but after sensing Zhang San’s gaze, his face grew hotter and hotter the more he ate.

Both of them ate and drank until their bodies were warm. After cleaning up following the meal, they lit a small campfire in front of the little tent, then sat shoulder to shoulder inside the tent, wrapped in the same cloth blanket, speaking softly in bits and pieces as they warmed themselves by the fire.

Li Si was usually quiet and did not like to speak, but whenever he pressed close to Brother Xiao like this, his heart would begin to itch, and he always wanted to say many more things to Brother Xiao.

At this moment, he was no longer the clumsy, taciturn self he had been in Kuiyuan City. He bent slightly, rested his head on Brother Xiao’s shoulder, carefully organized his thoughts, and worked hard to speak. “Grandma’s rolled noodles are chewier than Second Uncle’s and taste better. The sweet pastries Grandma makes are good too. During New Year, she made a lot of them, but later my teeth hurt, and Grandma wouldn’t let me eat sweet pastries anymore. Second Uncle took me to see a doctor, and the doctor told Second Uncle to buy a ‘toothbrush’ and ‘tooth powder.’ The tooth powder was made from medicinal herbs and was very bitter. After using it for a while, my teeth stopped hurting. Tooth powder was very expensive. Every time Second Uncle bought it, he had to calculate the household expenses together with Grandma before buying it. Later, after I also entered the military rolls, I learned from Second Uncle and gave my pay to Grandma to manage. After that, buying tooth powder no longer required calculating expenses. Grandma said there was enough money now and that we could often buy sheep offal to eat too…”

Zhang San deliberately straightened his waist so Li Si could rest more comfortably against his shoulder while speaking. Listening to him murmuring softly in fragments made his ears grow warm and his body drowsy.

“…When I placed first in archery, they made me an instructor, and I earned an extra three hundred coins each month. Grandma said she would save that money for me, to use later when I married a wife…”

Zhang San’s breathing suddenly trembled. Li Si shuddered from the movement, his head slipping downward until he almost fell into Zhang San’s arms.

Li Si straightened and lifted his head blankly, wanting to look at him, but Zhang San refused to let him see his face. Covering Li Si’s forehead with one hand, he forcefully pressed him back onto his shoulder and said hoarsely, “Keep talking.”

Li Si’s thoughts, which he had organized so earnestly, were immediately broken by the interruption. He thought back blankly: Where was I just now? Oh, a wife.

“Grandma told Second Uncle to find a wife who knew how to care for people. Second Uncle said he wasn’t going to look anymore, and that having me to care for him in old age was enough. Second Uncle said I was silly and foolish, and told me to marry a smart wife, otherwise when he grew old and died one day, he was afraid I would be bullied.”

Li Si’s voice suddenly cut off—Second Uncle had not grown old, yet he was already gone.

His heart felt heavy and stifled. He fell silent and remembered for a while longer, then felt that after Second Uncle left, aside from Brother Xiao, no one had bullied him.

But Brother Xiao’s “bullying,” apart from making his face hot and making him “angry,” was not bad at all.

Now he already liked it very much when Brother Xiao rubbed his cheeks. Brother Xiao’s fingers were hot, with some rough calluses, and every place Brother Xiao touched always became warm and very comfortable.

Brother Xiao also always “bullied” him with words, calling him “little colt” and “little fool,” but whenever he heard those names, his heart also felt warm and comfortable.

Li Si turned his face sideways and buried it against Zhang San’s shoulder again. Taking a deep breath, he said in a muffled voice, “Brother Xiao.”

Zhang San’s voice was hoarse, his chest vibrating and making Li Si’s face tremble with it. “Mm?”

“I’m willing to be bullied by you. When I was little, they bullied me and hit me. They were different from you. The way they bullied me wasn’t good.”

Zhang San laughed softly. “Is the way I do it good?”

“Good.”

Zhang San laughed for a long while longer. His warm hand rested on Li Si’s face, gently stroking it, but he did not speak.

They leaned quietly against each other like that. Li Si’s heart was peaceful and content, and he no longer spoke.

A strong wind rose over the cliff, blowing out the last trace of the campfire.

Zhang San pulled down the edge of the tarp and weighed it with stones. The two lay inside the airtight little tent, wrapped in the cloth blanket, with the tiger-fur cloak warmly covering the very top.

“Sleep,” Zhang San said softly.

Li Si gave an “Mm,” turned onto his side, wrapped his arms around Zhang San’s waist, rested his face against his shoulder, and closed his eyes in peace.

Another light snow fell during the night, but the little tent remained warm the entire time, and the sleeping Li Si was not awakened by the sound of wind and snow.

When he opened his eyes, the sky was already bright. Brother Xiao was not in the little tent, but the cloth blanket beside him was still warm, so Brother Xiao had not been gone long.

Rubbing his eyes, he lifted the tent flap and looked outside—Brother Xiao was cooking flatbread soaked in goat milk in the little pot, but his mind was clearly elsewhere, his eyes lowered as he stared blankly at the pot.

Brother Xiao did not look dispirited, but there were faint shadows beneath both eyes, as though he had not slept well the night before.

Li Si straightened his sleep-rumpled clothes and padded jacket, then walked over to sit beside him by the stove. The two waited quietly together for the goat milk to heat. After Li Si finished rubbing his eyes, he dazedly rubbed his own face.

“What’s wrong?” Zhang San asked him.

“My face hurts and itches.” Li Si rubbed it in confusion. Had some insect bitten him last night?

Zhang San looked at the several pairs of round tiger-tooth marks on his cheeks, one pair bitten so hard that the skin had even broken. He coughed once and guiltily looked away. “It’s nothing. Maybe you pressed your face while sleeping. It looks a little red.”

Li Si believed him, rubbed his face again, then lowered his hand.

After the two finished breakfast, they left their luggage beside the tent and took only their weapons, rope, and some climbing tools, then followed the cliff edge to search for the broken bridge.

Following the yamen runners’ directions, the two quickly found the broken bridge at the cliff edge.

Two tall stone pillars remained at the bridgehead, and the iron chains fastened to them were thick and heavy. From this, one could tell that the original bridge had been roughly two meters wide; below the bridgehead, four broken iron chains, each roughly a hundred meters long, hung vertically down the cliff face; though they had endured years of sun and rain, the thick iron chains still preserved the clear outline of a bridge; every chain remained intact, and even a few pieces of rotten wood from the bridge deck still remained on top of them.

On the opposite cliff, there were also two sturdy stone pillars.

—In other words, as long as these old iron chains were reconnected to the stone pillars on the opposite side and a new bridge deck was laid over them, this chain bridge could be put back into use.

Before they set out the previous day, Zhang San had found an old craftsman of high standing in the county and questioned him in detail. The old craftsman had written and drawn over the plans, helping Commissioner Zhang come up with ideas for repairing the bridge. In the end, they had settled on one method: first, have Li Si shoot an arrow with a thin rope roughly a hundred meters long tied to it, shooting it into a tree on the opposite cliff; then lower several strong craftsmen down the broken cliff with ropes, have them cross the frozen Wen River, and climb up the opposite cliff to repair the bridge pillars on that side; finally, the craftsmen on both sides would use the thin rope shot over by Li Si to fasten the iron chains to it and pull them across, repairing the bridge.

However, after the two tried it out and observed the area by the cliff, they discovered that this method had three problems.

First, the wind between the cliffs was too strong. Although Li Si successfully shot the arrow into a tree on the opposite cliff, the arrowhead embedded in the trunk could not bear any weight. Before long, the mountain wind blew the thin rope loose and pulled the arrowhead out of the tree trunk.

Second, the cliffs on both sides were too steep. They looked to be three or four hundred meters high, making them very difficult for craftsmen to climb. The only option would be to tie them up and lower them down with ropes several hundred meters long, but the ropes would be too long, and the process would be extremely dangerous.

Third, at the foot of the mountain on the western side of the opposite cliff was Tianmen Pass. Although the mountain peaks and dense forest blocked the view, making it difficult for the Xiao soldiers at Tianmen Pass to notice anything unusual on the summit even if they looked up, if the craftsmen descended to the banks of the Wen River, they would easily be discovered by the Xiao soldiers while crossing. After crossing the river, because the cliff was so steep, they would also need to take a detour along the western mountain road, passing directly under the Xiao soldiers’ noses, and their lives would be difficult to protect.

Zhang San felt somewhat troubled. Sitting cross-legged at the cliff edge, he spread the craftsman’s drawings on the ground and pondered a countermeasure.

Li Si suddenly pointed at a tool hanging from a rope in the drawing and asked, “What is this?”

Zhang San said, “A zip line. After the craftsmen get across, supplies needed to repair the bridge can be loaded into baskets and sent over to them using the zip line.”

Li Si asked, “If the craftsmen are put in the baskets, can people be sent over?”

Zhang San thought about it. “If the rope is thick enough and can bear the weight, then it should be possible.”

Li Si said, “Then I’ll go to the other side. I’ll shoot the thin rope back over, replace it with a thick rope, and install the zip line. Then the craftsmen can slide across.”

Zhang San immediately frowned. “No! It’s too dangerous!”

Li Si tilted his head blankly, not understanding why he said that. “It would be dangerous for craftsmen to go. It wouldn’t be dangerous for me.”

Zhang San said angrily, “The craftsmen are not allowed to go, and neither are you!”

Li Si asked blankly, “Why?”

Zhang San said, “It’s too dangerous!”

“It’s not dangerous if I go.”

“It is dangerous!”

“It’s not dangerous.”

“It’s dangerous!”

The two argued back and forth with incredible childishness for quite a while. In the end, it was the younger Li Si who realized that continuing to argue like this was useless. He grabbed Zhang San’s hand again, held it warmly, and looked up at Zhang San with dark, watery eyes.

Zhang San: “…” What kind of puppy trick is this? Does he think I’ll fall for it a second time?

With a cold face and cold voice, he said, “Little fool, don’t try that trick with me. Do you think I’m stupid? This is different from bringing you into the mountains. I can’t possibly agree. You only need to shoot the arrow. I’ll find someone suitable to cross over. There are eight hundred households in the county, all mountain people. There must be someone good at climbing. If it truly won’t work, I’ll go myself.”

Li Si released his hand and lowered his head, falling quiet for a while. Then he suddenly lifted his face again and asked seriously, “Brother Xiao, am I different from other soldiers? Because I’m younger than them, does that mean I’m weaker than them?”

Zhang San frowned. “That’s not what I mean. You are both an instructor and an Envoy. You are no weaker than anyone!”

“Then why, when we rescued General She that day, did you ask them to help but not let me go? Why now would you rather find villagers than let me go?”

Zhang San said, “You’re injured…”

Li Si interrupted him. “You know perfectly well my injuries don’t matter! Even if the villagers you choose can climb mountains, what if they encounter Xiao soldiers? If you go yourself, the moment you step on a rock, it collapses. What if you fall?”

The more he spoke, the more anxious he became, and his face crumpled. “You know perfectly well I’m the most suitable person! You already brought me here! You promised to let me help you!”

For once, he was unprecedentedly articulate, and Zhang San was so angered that he roared, “I didn’t bring you here for this!”

Li Si shouted back, “Then what was it for?!”

Zhang San bellowed, “Because I wanted to spend two more days with you!! I can’t bear to part with you!! What if you go and get hurt again?! How could I bear that?!”

The two had already been standing close together, and Li Si’s ears buzzed from his shouting. They buzzed for quite a while before he finally made out what Zhang San had said, and his face flushed red all at once.

Zhang San had originally been glaring at him in a rage, but when he saw the blush spreading across Li Si’s face and realized what he himself had shouted, his own face instantly turned completely red as well.

The two of them stood frozen at the cliff edge like a pair of stones, both red-faced and burning-eared as the cold wind blew over them. Even after it blew for quite some time, the heat on their faces did not fade in the slightest.

After a long while, Li Si stammered, adding fuel to the fire, “I—I can’t bear to part with you either.”

Zhang San’s face grew even hotter in an instant. A moment ago he had been roaring like a tiger through the mountain forest, yet now he had to fight desperately through clenched teeth before finally squeezing out a nearly inaudible sound. “I—I know.”

Stirred by him until his tiger nature surged wildly, Zhang San endured until his entire body trembled. He truly wanted to pin Sisi down and bite him hard, over and over again! He truly wanted to knock Sisi unconscious and “feed” him an entire vat of “medicine”! He truly wanted to tear Sisi open and devour him, skin, bones, and all!

And at that exact moment, Sisi took hold of his hand again. His fingers trembled as he raised his dark, watery eyes and pleaded softly like a puppy, “Brother Xiao, let me help you. I’ll be very careful and won’t get hurt. I’m about to leave. Before I go, let me help you.”

Brother Xiao: “…”

Brother Xiao still fell for the puppy trick.

The puppy trick was one part of it. On the other hand, he knew very well in his heart that under the current circumstances, letting Sisi go was the best choice. Not only would it be impossible to find a better helper, but battlefield conditions were ever-changing, and they truly could not afford delays.

Head lowered, he silently packed Li Si’s luggage, his eyes rimmed red, saying nothing.

Li Si had to descend the cliff and climb the mountain, so he could not bring the heavy tiger-fur cloak. Zhang San folded the cloth blanket used for warmth at night and the little tent tightly and stuffed them into the pack, carefully coiled the thin rope and tucked it along the edge, then packed all the dry rations and two filled water gourds inside as well, trying his best to flatten the pack so it would not hinder Li Si too much when carried.

Li Si fastened his bow and quiver to the outside of the pack, but untied the saber and handed it to Zhang San—the blade was too long and would get in the way while climbing.

“I have this.” He showed Zhang San the small sleeve knife he had hidden away.

Zhang San finally spoke, his voice hoarse. “It’s so tiny. What use can it be?”

Li Si clenched his fist and said seriously, “I also have this.”

Zhang San was amused into laughter by him. After laughing, he reached out and pulled Li Si into his arms, hugging him tightly, then turned his face aside and pressed it against Li Si’s burning ear.

“Be extremely careful.”

Li Si nodded with his ears burning.

They agreed to split up. Zhang San would return to Ant County to gather craftsmen and other helpers and transport large equipment such as ropes, pulleys, and baskets. Li Si would descend the cliff alone, cross the river, then climb up the cliff on the other side. He would spend the night by himself in the forest on the opposite side, and wait until Zhang San returned the next day to give him the signal. Then he would shoot the thin rope over.

Zhang San was worried about him and did not hurry back to Ant County first. Instead, he stood at the edge of the broken cliff and watched over him.

—In truth, his concern was unnecessary. Li Si really could fly. Carrying the pack, this little banished immortal pressed both hands to the mountain wall and moved like a little goat with pointed hooves, pushing off a broken rock with his left foot and stepping on a small tree with his right. Before long, he had slid a great distance downward.

Holding the bridgehead pillar of the broken bridge, Zhang San strained to look outward. The cliff face had some undulating slopes, so at first he could still see the back of Li Si’s round head appearing and disappearing among the steep rocks and scattered trees. But after roughly the time it took to burn a stick of incense, he could no longer see him at all.

Zhang San’s heart tightened, yet he still did not leave. He remained at the cliff edge and anxiously waited for another half hour…

At last, he saw a tiny figure sneaking into view at the edge of the Wen River far below.

Zhang San nervously looked toward both ends of the Wen River, but the cliffs and trees blocked his sight, and he could not tell whether any Xiao soldiers were patrolling. The tiny figure walked for a while, hid beneath a tree by the riverbank, and stayed there for a long time, seemingly waiting for the right moment.

Suddenly, Zhang San saw a patrol of mounted scouts appear on the opposite bank of the Wen River, visible through gaps between the trees. But Li Si did not alert those mounted scouts, and before long the patrol went far away.

Zhang San thought Sisi would come out and cross the river, but Sisi’s figure remained hidden beneath the tree and did not appear.

After a while, Zhang San saw two more Xiao soldiers appear by the riverbank. They were not on horseback, and they did not leave for a long time. He did not know what they were doing by the shore.

Sisi’s figure never appeared again. Zhang San watched until his eyes ached, his fists tightly clutching his padded jacket, his palms full of sweat.

By the banks of the Wen River, beneath a lone tree, Li Si crouched like a cat in the branches, hidden by snow-covered limbs as he lay silently in wait.

On the opposite bank were two lone Xiao soldiers. They were not mounted, and their clothing did not resemble that of ordinary scouts. One wore a suit of heavy black armor and a helmet, appearing to be a minor commander. The other seemed to be his subordinate.

The two men carried a wooden bucket and some tools, walking leisurely from the encampment at Tianmen Pass. When they reached the riverbank, they took out a long tool that looked like an iron chisel—and actually began chiseling a hole in the ice, using a long spear to catch fish.

But that subordinate was clumsy. He held the long spear and prodded around inside the ice hole for a long time without striking a single fish.

The minor commander was so angry that he shoved the subordinate aside, snatched the long spear from him, and removed his heavy helmet. Gripping the spear in both hands, he craned his neck forward and stared at the water’s surface with full concentration. The spear slowly lowered, then suddenly stabbed into the water!

With a splash, water sprayed everywhere. A large fish was skewered on the spearhead and lifted from the water along with the spray, swinging and flopping in midair.

The watching subordinate cheered and caught the large fish with the wooden bucket, only to hear a strange gurgling sound beside him. He turned his head in confusion—and saw the commander release the spear, both hands clutching tightly at his own throat.

At some point, an arrow had pierced through his throat.

The subordinate’s mouth opened wide in shock, but only half a cry escaped before there was another soft whoosh. He lowered his eyes in disbelief and saw a second arrow piercing through his own throat.

With their throats pierced through, the two men were unable to make any warning sound. One after the other, they fell backward, landing face-up on the ice. Their bodies twitched and struggled as they cast terrified, despairing gazes toward the deep blue sky.

A tall figure blocked out the sky.

Li Si looked down at the two of them from above, then glanced around warily. Lowering the bow and arrow in his hand, he bent down. The sleeve knife dropped into his palm, and with swift movements, his hand rose and fell, giving each of them a quick end.

Li Si stuffed several large stones into both men’s padded jackets and pushed the corpses into the ice hole. The iron chisel, long spear, and other tools were all thrown into the hole as well. Finally, he crushed the wooden bucket underfoot and tossed even the broken wood fragments into the hole.

After destroying the last tiny trace, he picked up the large fish and slipped away with light steps.

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