Futile Devices Scans

Though Ant County was small, it possessed all the necessary organs. Along the way were markets, teahouses, taverns, medicine shops, schools, and temples alike. The roads within the city were not laid out in any neat square grid, nor was the terrain level. Alleys twisted and crossed one another, stone steps rose and fell in layers, and one constantly had to climb slopes, descend ledges, turn corners, and switch paths. Without the young constable leading the way, outsiders would certainly get lost.

With a great army pressing near the city, the streets and alleys were somewhat desolate, yet the shops and vendors were all still open for business, and scattered townsfolk still came and went through the streets. Life remained relatively peaceful.

Seeing Zhang San looking around as they walked, the young constable spoke again. “Some households in the city have moved away recently. May I ask where your home is, sir? If your family is still in the city, this subordinate can send someone to notify them.”

Zhang San opened his mouth, then fell silent for a moment before saying hoarsely, “No need to trouble yourself. My parents died long ago. I no longer have a home.”

At these words, Li Si, who had been blankly dazing beside them, turned to look at him.

“Little colt, what are you staring at?”

Li Si did not quarrel with him and obediently withdrew his gaze again.

Seeing Li Si weighed down by thoughts, Zhang San moved closer and nudged him aside, distancing the two of them from the young constable leading ahead. “What’s wrong? What’re you thinking about?”

Li Si still kept his eyes lowered as he asked, “You said you came to Ant County to handle something. What is it? Can you tell me?”

Zhang San did not answer, only asked again, “What’s wrong?”

Li Si lifted his head, his pure black pupils fixed steadily on Zhang San as he frankly asked, “If I kill someone here, will it affect your business?”

Instinctively, he felt that openly drawing a blade to kill someone in broad daylight would implicate Zhang San, especially now that Daoist Ma was the county magistrate’s honored guest. The Command Envoy who led the group was dead, and who knew where the remaining twenty-some soldiers’ loyalties would lie? Killing him would likely not be easy.

But he had promised the Command Envoy he would definitely kill Daoist Ma. Not to mention Daoist Ma had caused his second uncle’s death.

Yet if it interfered with Zhang San’s business, Zhang San would not return the wax pellet to him.

He asked with worry in his heart, but Zhang San burst out laughing instead. “That’s all? Little colt, who do you want to kill? I’ll help you!”

Though Ant County’s county office was small, it too possessed all the necessary organs. Passing the stone lions at the entrance, then the warning boards reading “False Accusations Punished Three Degrees More Severely” and “Skipping Legal Procedure Punished with Fifty Strikes,” and going around the spirit wall, they entered the first courtyard. To the left and right were the bailiffs’ duty rooms and the prison cells.

The duty rooms were where constables, runners, and other yamen staff stayed on duty. But at the moment, twenty-two soldiers were crammed into three or five of the rooms in a row. Their weapons had all been confiscated, and they were being well-fed and well-treated, sitting or standing around inside in utter boredom.

Across from them, only two troublemaking loafers were imprisoned in the jail cells, yet eight yamen runners stood guard outside with sabers hanging at their waists. All of them had received the constable’s instructions. Though they appeared to be guarding the prisoners, their eyes kept darting toward the duty rooms opposite, terrified these sturdy soldiers might cause trouble.

The moment Zhang San and Li Si entered behind the young constable, all the soldiers stood up in unison and crowded around the doors and windows to look out. This frightened the eight yamen runners opposite so badly that they immediately straightened up and gripped their saber hilts.

Those soldiers recognized Li Si as one of their companions and began whispering among themselves. They did not seem hostile toward him. Zhang San, lingering at the rear, bared two tiger-like canine teeth at them and flashed a brilliant grin instead, which only made their expressions tense.

Zhang San strode several steps forward and leaned close to Li Si’s ear. “Which one are you trying to kill?”

Li Si tilted his head away awkwardly. “Not them.”

“Ohhh—” Zhang San drawled meaningfully. “I get it.”

Get what? Li Si looked at him in confusion.

“The fire-breathing one, right?” Zhang San whispered against his ear again.

Li Si pushed him away and quietly gave an “Mm.”

“How did the fire-breather provoke you?”

That was not something easily explained in a few words, and the young constable ahead had already turned around to glance back, so Li Si shut his mouth. The young constable asked the two to wait a moment in front of the main hall. He remained standing there with them while ordering a yamen runner to go behind the hall and request instructions.

The three stood below the hall. Li Si and the young constable both stood properly upright, while Zhang San swayed his head and looked around, examining the furnishings on the desk and the plaque overhead reading “Suspended Bright Mirror.” He only recognized the character for “bright”—sun and moon, very simple.

Suddenly, from the western side courtyard, a young scholar came hurrying out in a panic, his headcloth even crooked. Judging from his robes, he was a junior clerk. Squinting at the three of them, he hurried over and said, “Brother Wuzhi! I was just about to go to the city gate to find you! Something terrible has happened! That demon Daoist has bewitched our county again—”

The young constable coughed loudly.

The clerk abruptly stopped in his tracks. Squinting carefully again, he hurriedly bowed. “Forgive me, forgive me! I did not know there were honored guests present!”

The young constable coughed. “These two officials came from the capital and are companions of the ‘Immortal Master.’”

The clerk stammered, “M-my respects, honored officials. The Immortal Master is currently discussing scripture and the Dao with our county magistrate. This lowly one will go inform them immediately…” He turned to sneak off behind the hall.

“Come back!” the young constable barked. “They’ve already been informed. Go back to the side courtyard!”

The clerk repeatedly bowed and slipped away pressed against the wall.

The young constable glanced at Zhang San and Li Si awkwardly. “He is a newly hired clerk in the yamen. He is young and ignorant. Please forgive him.”

Li Si said nothing. Zhang San cheerfully replied, “No matter, no matter. We’re not exactly on the same side as that demon Daoist anyway.”

That demon Daoist—or rather, that Immortal Master—was indeed, as the clerk had said, discussing scripture in the rear hall with the county magistrate. Both wore Daoist robes and sat in grand armchairs, sipping tea and discussing philosophy amid swirling sandalwood incense. Pighead—not pighead, Lion-Headed Strongman—stood behind the Daoist with arms crossed, so drowsy from the smoke that he secretly nodded off behind his mask.

The county magistrate appeared to be in his forties, with a narrow pointed beard and protruding cheekbones, giving him a distinctly rat-like appearance. At the moment, he was sighing deeply and wiping away tears. “Though His Majesty is still ill, he still keeps Kuiyuan Prefecture in his heart. This is the fortune of Kuiyuan’s people. With the nation in peril, as the parent-official of the common people, this county official shall certainly exhaust all effort and repay the country with his life. I only ask that, once Immortal Master returns to the capital, you speak a few favorable words for this humble official before His Majesty, to show my loyal devotion…”

Daoist Ma stroked his long beard. “Naturally.”

A yamen runner entered to report, “Sir, two Imperial City Directorate envoys have arrived from outside. They claim to be companions of the Immortal Master.”

Daoist Ma’s face changed color, and he kicked backward with his foot, jolting the Lion-Headed Strongman awake.

The magistrate turned to the Daoist in surprise and delight. “Are there truly such two men?”

Daoist Ma forced himself to look overjoyed. “This humble Daoist truly did travel with an Imperial City Directorate officer. I had thought the officer met with disaster last night. Fortunate indeed, fortunate indeed!”

The magistrate hurriedly said, “Quickly invite them in!”

Both the Daoist and the Strongman were extremely nervous. They knew very well that they had set the fire last night and blocked the Imperial City Directorate group’s path of escape. Surely a fierce argument was about to break out—perhaps the Command Envoy, in furious rage, would even draw his blade and cut off their heads! The Daoist secretly steadied his horsetail whisk, while the Strongman quietly gripped his pole saber, desperately concocting excuses in their minds—

Yet when they saw only Li Si and Zhang San entering, both men visibly relaxed.

Before the Daoist could speak, the Strongman leapt forward first, pointing at Li Si and cursing, “You little brat! Quit pretending to be some official! County Magistrate, this brat is just like those soldiers in the duty rooms outside—he’s only one of the Immortal Master’s accompanying guards!”

At these words, Li Si’s eyes widened, but his mouth reacted much slower. Zhang San immediately cursed back for him, “You pig-faced brute! Who are you calling a brat? With the Imperial City Directorate token right here, how dare your pig snout yap like that?”

The Strongman turned to the magistrate. “County Magistrate! That brat must have stolen the token from the real officer—”

Before he could finish, Zhang San drew his saber with a shing! The people in the hall cried out in alarm as Zhang San strode forward and hacked the Strongman flying back with one heavy slash!

Though the Strongman raised the shaft of his pole saber to block, he was forced several steps backward by the blow and crashed with a bang! into one of the hall’s support pillars. The wooden shaft split cleanly in two. The Strongman’s legs trembled so badly he could barely stand, relying entirely on the pillar behind him for support. His mask tilted crookedly, exposing half a terrified pig-like face.

Zhang San pursued him, intending to add another strike. The young constable arrived just in time, blocking him as he urgently shouted, “No violence allowed!”

“Guards! Guards!” the magistrate squealed in panic like a frightened rat. Several yamen runners outside hurried frantically toward the inner hall.

Amid the chaos, Li Si felt the opportunity had come. He too drew his saber and headed toward Daoist Ma, intending to chop him down amid the confusion. Daoist Ma shrieked “Neigh! Neigh!” like a horse, desperately dodging around the tables and chairs, looking so terrified he might start breathing fire.

“Envoy Li!” Zhang San suddenly shouted.

Li Si’s blade halted just above the horse-face.

“It’s not time yet!” Zhang San said.

Li Si turned back to look at him in confusion. Though puzzled, he still obediently stepped back. Daoist Ma seized the chance to scramble behind the county magistrate on all fours, while eight yamen runners rushed forward to surround and protect both the magistrate and the Daoist.

On Zhang San’s side, he was still in a saber standoff with the young constable. Looking at the constable’s tightly strained expression, Zhang San smiled reassuringly instead, which only made the young constable grip his saber even harder.

Zhang San lowered his saber, reversed the hilt, and saluted the constable with clasped fists. “My apologies. Please do not take offense. It’s just that the pig-mouth behind you was talking such nonsense that beating him was unavoidable.”

The young constable stared at him tensely, then glanced sideways at Li Si.

“Envoy Li!” Zhang San raised his voice. “I’ve already shut that pig-mouth for you! Now hurry and explain to everyone what’s going on with your token!”

Li Si lowered his saber and bowed toward the magistrate. Taking out the Imperial City Directorate token from his robes and displaying it, he finally had the chance to explain slowly, “County Magistrate, forgive the offense. This token was entrusted to me by the Imperial City Directorate Command Envoy before his death. The Command Envoy entrusted me with a secret letter and appointed me as the succeeding envoy, ordering me to deliver it without fail to Prefect Zhang of Kuiyuan.”

Zhang San loudly added, “Everyone heard that, right? If he stole the token, then how would he know about the secret letter? And how would he know it was meant for the Prefect?”

The Strongman trembled behind the young constable and stammered, “M-maybe he stole the secret letter too! Maybe the Prefect thing is just made up!”

Zhang San sighed and raised his saber again. “Looks like there’s no choice but to cut off that pig-mouth after all…”

The Strongman shrieked, “Eee! Eee!” while the constable urgently shouted, “No violence! No violence allowed!”

The magistrate hid behind the yamen runners and cried out, “Enough! Everyone stop! This county official understands now! It was all a misunderstanding! The prefect of our Kuiyuan Prefecture truly is surnamed Zhang. I see this young official is still very young and has long lived in the capital. It’s impossible for him to have known our prefect’s affairs beforehand. It truly was entrusted to him by the Command Envoy before death! The Strongman merely panicked for a moment and misunderstood things. He did not intentionally mean to trouble the two of you! Both you two and the Immortal Master are honored guests of this county. Please refrain from violence!”

Since the county magistrate had stepped in to smooth things over, everyone naturally accepted the compromise happily. Zhang San and Li Si sheathed their sabers. Daoist Ma forced himself to regain his immortal bearing, though his legs still trembled slightly as he sat back down in his chair. The young constable and the yamen runners also lowered their weapons and stood waiting nearby.

Only the Lion-Headed Strongman, after Zhang San flashed him a toothy grin, remained plastered against the pillar like a pork pancake, too frightened to move.

The magistrate ordered people to right the overturned incense burner, hoping to smooth things over again in a peaceful atmosphere filled with drifting incense smoke. Unfortunately, everyone present was extremely tense, and no amount of conversation could truly bring them onto the same page. The magistrate warmly invited Zhang San and Li Si to stay in the side courtyard of the county office—where the clerks’ duty rooms were located—but Zhang San politely declined, saying they could simply stay at the county relay station.

The magistrate therefore assigned two yamen runners to escort them there and arrange their lodging and meals.

Once the two disappeared from sight, the magistrate hurried to comfort the shaken Daoist Ma.

Then the magistrate summoned the young constable over and quietly instructed him, “These two men have become arrogant with a little success and are quite rude. They are not easy people to deal with. You must have people carefully monitor them. Find an excuse within a day or two and send these two plagues away as quickly as possible.”

The young constable nodded and accepted the order before taking his leave.

Just as he stepped into the main hall, the young clerk who had slipped away earlier snuck back along the wall and grabbed hold of the constable.

“Brother Wuzhi! Things are really terrible now!”

The constable walked with him while asking, “What happened?”

“That demon Daoist says he wants to practice some kind of Five-Armor Military Method. He wants our magistrate to find fifty men whose Five Elements are fire-aligned. No matter their profession or physical condition, all of them are to be turned into soldiers and made to meditate, breathe, and cultivate Daoist arts day and night. Then if the Xiao Army comes, they’ll open the city gates and send those fifty people out to fight…”

The constable frowned tightly. “Isn’t this utter nonsense? Ordinary civilians who only learned a bit of Daoist arts and can’t even use a blade—how are they supposed to fight?”

“That’s exactly what I thought! Wouldn’t anyone think so after hearing it? But who knows what kind of demonic tricks he used—our magistrate actually believes him! He even ordered me to start screening people from the household registry tonight…”

The constable grew increasingly anxious as he listened and abruptly stopped walking. The clerk cried “Ow!” as he crashed into the constable’s back, getting jabbed by the hard paper armor and stumbling backward. The constable quickly wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him back upright. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine. But what do we do now, Brother Wuzhi? Maybe you should try persuading our magistrate…”

The constable sighed. “You know our magistrate has always looked down on rough military men like me. I can barely read a few characters—how could I discuss profound Daoist arts with him? Back when Old Clerk Chen was still working, at least he could persuade him a little.”

The clerk said, “My father has been worrying about Kuiyuan being under siege these past days. He coughs all night and cannot sleep. I don’t even dare let him know about this. He can’t even get out of bed anymore. I’m afraid if he gets anxious…”

The constable pressed a hand to his shoulder and comforted him. “Don’t tell Old Chen. I’ll think of another solution.”

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