Futile Devices Scans

Elio’s Notes: The Chinese title plays on 心腹大患, an idiom meaning a serious hidden danger. It splits 心腹 (“trusted confidant”) from 大患 (“major threat”) for the joke.

At dawn the next day, Mu Heng reached Zhensong City and went straight to the prefectural yamen. The moment Wei Xiu saw him, he nearly thought Mu Heng had come looking for revenge. Once he heard what had happened, however, Wei Xiu immediately arranged for men to search Dutou Mountain for the others and summoned a physician to examine Mu Heng.

Mu Heng was desperate to return to Fengdu and report to the emperor. Before leaving, he repeatedly urged Wei Xiu to spare no effort in finding Zhong Yi, Wei Fu, and the rest, and to send word the moment there was any news. Wei Xiu readily agreed and even thoughtfully arranged an escort for his journey back.

Holding himself together by sheer force of will, Mu Heng rode through day and night until he finally reached Fengdu. By the time he appeared before the emperor, his strength was almost gone; eunuchs had to support him just so he could remain standing. Even Emperor Jinyuan, who had been preparing to call him to account, was startled by the sight of him.

Only after the two sides compared accounts did Mu Heng learn why Emperor Jinyuan had summoned him back. A censor had impeached him on the basis of hearsay reports, accusing him of abusing his position in Jichuan City, allowing his subordinates to use their power to commit violence, forcibly abducting a civilian woman, and beating innocent people, thereby provoking widespread resentment among the locals.

Mu Heng had endured the entire journey without breaking. Now, hearing this, his vision went black, and he nearly coughed up blood.

The instant he heard the accusations of “abducting a civilian woman and beating innocent people,” he knew who had filed the malicious complaint.

One day in the second month, Mu Heng and his companions had taken two guards with them and gone incognito to enjoy the fine weather on Cuibao Lake outside Jichuan City. Suddenly, cries for help came from the middle of the lake. They steered their boat closer and found a richly dressed young wastrel harassing a beautiful woman aboard a painted pleasure boat. The woman tried to throw herself into the lake to escape, but the scoundrel pinned her down, leaving her clinging desperately to the window as she struggled.

Mu Heng had just opened his mouth to order someone to intervene when Wei Fu, standing at the bow, gauged the distance, quietly picked up the small crossbow one of the guards carried for protection, and casually fired.

The sharp bolt tore through the air with perfect accuracy, passing cleanly between the wastrel’s legs before burying itself in the deck with a solid thunk. The man let out a bloodcurdling scream and slowly collapsed into a boneless heap.

It was such a spectacularly vicious move that it might as well have been a formal declaration of enmity. The servants on the other boat saw their master go down and immediately began wailing and shouting, startling countless gulls and egrets into flight. Mu Heng listened for a moment and discovered that the arrogant young man was none other than Mu Sheng, heir of Prince Qingyi—and, by blood, one of Mu Heng’s distant older cousins.

Mu Sheng did not recognize Mu Heng. His mouth filthy, he cursed them for meddling in other people’s affairs. Mu Heng had not originally intended to make a major issue of it. He merely meant to stop the crime, then report the matter to the Empress Dowager and have Mu Sheng’s father discipline him. Unfortunately, the idiot took their restraint as weakness. Relying on the greater size of his pleasure boat, he actually ordered his men to ram their smaller craft and overturn it.

Mu Heng exchanged a glance with Zhong Yi. Zhong Yi and the two guards immediately leapt onto the pleasure boat. They cut through Mu Sheng’s guards as effortlessly as a knife through tofu, seized control of the boatman, and made the heir kneel obediently at the bow to welcome the Fourth Prince.

Only after Zhong Yi had cleared everything up did Mu Heng stroll across the gangplank, followed by the cold-faced marksman Wei Fu. Mu Heng walked up to the still-ranting Mu Sheng and sent him headfirst into the lake with one kick.

Wei Fu remained at the cabin door while the woman inside composed herself and straightened her clothes. When she finally emerged, she introduced herself as Madam Wu. She had been the wife of a tea merchant; after her husband died young, she had supported the household herself by running a teahouse in Jichuan City. Prince Qingyi’s heir had happened to see her several times and decided he wanted her as a concubine. She repeatedly rejected his advances. Resentful, Mu Sheng had one of his own shopkeepers invite Madam Wu aboard under the pretense of discussing business, then attempted to force himself on her once they reached a secluded part of the lake.

Madam Wu had fought desperately and cried out to the distant boats for help. But the lake there was remote, and the few small boats nearby were afraid of provoking trouble. None dared intervene. Only Mu Heng’s party came when they heard her cries.

If Mu Sheng were turned over to the local authorities, the officials would most likely be too intimidated by Prince Qingyi’s power to punish his heir. So Mu Heng had his men haul the thoroughly disgraced Mu Sheng back to Prince Qingyi’s residence and personally laid out every one of his son’s glorious deeds in front of his father. Prince Qingyi was so furious that he immediately seized the family disciplinary rod and beat Mu Sheng until he rolled all over the floor. He repeatedly promised to discipline his son strictly, ordered one hundred taels of silver sent to Madam Wu as compensation, and swore that she would never again be disturbed.

Mu Heng made himself the most unwelcome guest imaginable. He sat upright and watched Prince Qingyi beat his son for a full three quarters of an hour, and did not leisurely take his leave until Prince Qingyi’s arms were too exhausted to rise anymore.

He had assumed that would be the end of it. After all, Mu Sheng was plainly the one at fault. Making a larger scandal of the matter would do Prince Qingyi’s household no good whatsoever. Yet that old bastard actually had the nerve to reverse black and white and call a deer a horse, treating the laws of the court as though they were nothing and dragging the dignity of the Censorate through the mud along with him.

The truth would not be difficult to establish. One inquiry into the reputation of Prince Qingyi’s heir in the area would tell the whole story. Mu Heng did not even have time to feel chilled by how little Emperor Jinyuan trusted his own son, believing accusations the moment they reached his ears. There was only rage, with nowhere for it to go. Because of one malicious accusation, Mu Heng himself had nearly died on the road. The two people closest to him had wagered their lives—perhaps already lost them—and even now no one knew whether they were alive or dead.

Emperor Jinyuan had originally been holding back a bellyful of anger, ready to teach him a lesson. The moment he saw Mu Heng’s miserable condition, half of it deflated. After hearing Mu Heng’s restrained explanation, he was left half convinced, half doubtful, with only a thin wisp of guilt remaining.

Perhaps because of that faint guilty conscience, Emperor Jinyuan ordered the case in Jichuan City reinvestigated and sent additional men to Dutou Mountain to search for Zhong Yi and the others. Mu Heng still refused to give up and wanted to go himself, but he had barely stepped beyond the palace gates when he collapsed with a heavy thud, burning with fever and completely losing consciousness.

He lay feverish and half-delirious on the sickbed. In dreams and waking alike, the scene on the mountain road replayed endlessly before his eyes. People came and went around him. At some point, an unfamiliar voice told him that Zhong Yi had been found—gravely injured, but alive. Fortunately, he had practiced martial arts since childhood and possessed a strong constitution. With enough time to recover, he should eventually return to full health.

“Shuchen… what about Wei Fu?”

The Egret Guard officer kneeling beside his bed did not answer immediately. He first glanced toward Palace Matron Sun for guidance, then replied cautiously, “Your Highness, we are still searching with all our strength.”

In truth, however, the Egret Guard had already withdrawn its search teams from the mountain. Following the hoofprints all the way to where the cliff abruptly broke away, they had already arrived at a terrible, indistinct conclusion.

Broken rocks lay scattered everywhere. The cliff was high and the forest below impossibly deep. There was not a person to be seen. Only a bloodstained robe hung suspended in midair, swaying gently in the wind.

Mu Heng struggled to turn his head, breathing out a scorching breath as his hand fumbled beneath the pillow. Palace Matron Sun hurriedly bent closer. “Your Highness, do you want some water?”

Mu Heng said nothing. He pulled a neatly folded slip of paper from beneath the pillow and clenched it tightly in his fist.

The most effective protective talisman in the world had protected him and Zhong Yi. Whichever god or Buddha in all the heavens had heard their prayers—please protect Wei Fu too and let him return safely.

No sign of him alive, no body to prove him dead. At that moment, even such an ambiguous phrase had become the most hopeful comfort imaginable.

“And then?”

“And then, in the fifth month of that year, someone brought Young Master Wei back to the residence of the Duke Who Stabilizes the Nation.” Kui Yue clicked her tongue in amazement, her voice filling the room like birdsong. “Not only had his injuries healed by the time he returned, even the muteness he’d suffered from for years miraculously disappeared. Don’t tell me he really met some extraordinary master at the bottom of the cliff?”

Yugong Zhaoye sat silently listening. His expression barely changed, as though the answer had already existed somewhere in his heart and was merely being confirmed piece by piece. “Who brought him back?”

The question struck directly into a gap in Kui Yue’s intelligence. Her face visibly stiffened. “Uh… I couldn’t find that out. Even the people in the Duke’s residence don’t seem to know clearly. There are vague rumors that it was an old friend of his parents.”

“Didn’t you say his parents disappeared when he was three?” Yugong Zhaoye frowned. “What sort of friend could still recognize him after more than ten years? I never thought to investigate from this direction before. Look into Wei Fu’s biological parents—and also… what connection they had with Beizhu Palace in Dongyu.”

“Beizhu Palace?” Kui Yue’s eyes rolled. “Isn’t that a demonic cult?” Then she flashed him the sweet, innocent smile she reserved especially for extortion. “Boss, investigating Beizhu Palace doesn’t seem to have much to do with checking the background of the Minister-Regent anymore. Is this official business, or private business?”

Yugong Zhaoye lifted his eyelids and looked at her. “The Minister-Regent occupies a position of enormous importance. Looking back three generations is perfectly reasonable. Which part of that isn’t official business?”

“Oh, of course.” Kui Yue pinched a corner of her clothes between two fingers and twisted it back and forth, deliberately making her voice unbearably innocent. “Then when His Majesty asks about it later, I’ll simply tell him Young Master Wei’s childhood nickname. Imagine him hearing someone call ‘Guan-lang—!’ all the way off in a foreign land. I’m sure he’ll feel wonderfully nostalgic and touched.”

Yugong Zhaoye: “…”

He really should never have picked random children off the street just because it was convenient and turned them into subordinates. Penny wise, pound foolish. This troublesome creature was plainly preparing to demand an outrageous price.

“Stop circling around it.” He remained calm. “What do you want?”

Kui Yue answered decisively, “More money.”

Yugong Zhaoye: “…How much?”

Kui Yue held up a number. Yugong Zhaoye immediately stood. “Never mind. I’ll ask Wei Fu myself. It probably won’t cost me a single coin, and he might even give me a pot of tea for free.”

“Hey! Your Highness, wait!” Kui Yue hastily stopped him. “If you’re sincere, the price is negotiable! Besides, how could you possibly ask something like this straight to his face? Do the two of you still want to get along in the future or not?”

Yugong Zhaoye’s Get along for what? was completely drowned beneath her louder voice. “Your Highness, I’ll throw in another piece of information for free! Exclusive, top secret. Once you know it, you’ll have the decisive advantage!”

Yugong Zhaoye weighed that promise in his head and sat back down. “Let’s hear it.”

“Very few people actually know about Young Master Wei saving the emperor. Even I had to turn Fengdu practically upside down to dig out the details. The strange part is that the Duke’s residence—the people who should know the most—treats the whole affair as forbidden. Even now, servants aren’t allowed to mention where Young Master Wei was during that period. Officially, they only say he became seriously ill and was sent to a country estate to recuperate.” Kui Yue leaned forward. “Doesn’t that sound like something worth thinking about?”

Kui Yue might be notoriously difficult for a black-hearted superior to manage, but Yugong Zhaoye tolerated all her erratic habits precisely because every so often she produced an inspired insight like this.

“Why?”

If Kui Yue had possessed a tail, it would have been wagging furiously by now. “First, because the assassination involved an internal struggle within Xiling’s imperial family. One year later, the Crown Prince—the Empress’s son—was deposed. The year after that, Prince Yong, the current emperor, was named heir. At the time, they swallowed the matter because there wasn’t enough evidence to prove the Crown Prince had actually masterminded the assassination.”

“Second, the affair involved one particularly inventive shit-stirrer.” Kui Yue carried on beneath Yugong Zhaoye’s distinctly disapproving gaze. “That day, Young Master Wei’s elder brother Wei Xiu was serving as Prefectural Judge in Zhensong City. He promised the emperor he would send people into the mountains to search for the others. Zhong Yi, commander of the Egret Guard, was rescued—but Young Master Wei wasn’t.”

“His report to the court said they had ‘searched to the best of their ability without result.’ But someone later investigated and discovered that Wei Xiu’s people never searched the stretch of mountain where Young Master Wei actually fell from the cliff. He claimed that the eastern side of Dutou Mountain fell outside Zhensong City’s jurisdiction, so he sent a letter asking the neighboring Lanxi City yamen to conduct the search instead. All the time lost sending that request back and forth…”

Kui Yue left the uglier conclusion unsaid and merely gave Yugong Zhaoye a meaningful look. “Fortunately, Young Master Wei was blessed with extraordinary luck and survived. But who told him not to be the Wei family’s legitimate eldest grandson? After coming home, he had to see his enemy every day, while his elder brother remained everyone’s spotless, upright, wonderful big brother.”

Yugong Zhaoye suddenly remembered that night—the way Wei Fu had hurriedly pretended he had just gone to bed when Wei Xiu knocked, the way he had whispered silly, trivial complaints while scrambling to change his clothes. His thoughts and expressions had been transparent almost to the point of childishness. There had been no hint that such a bloody rift lay buried between him and the man outside the door.

Does Wei Fu know?

The question had barely surfaced before the answer became obvious. The Duke’s residence had strictly forbidden anyone from talking. Someone must have exposed what Wei Xiu had done—either Mu Heng or Zhong Yi—and the elders had then forcibly suppressed the matter in order to preserve Wei Xiu’s reputation. How could Wei Fu possibly not know?

Suddenly, Yugong Zhaoye regretted leaving that night. If only he had stayed outside and listened a little longer… If only…

If only he had actually stolen Wei Fu away.

“I understand.”

That strange emotion twisted sourly in his chest, but Yugong Zhaoye’s face remained almost cold in its calmness. “You did well. I’ll entrust the Beizhu Palace matter to you too. There’s no hurry these next few days. Once we leave Fengdu, make your own way to Dongyu and investigate.”

Kui Yue placed a hand over her chest and bowed with easy grace. “At Your Highness’s service.”

“I have one last question.” Yugong Zhaoye suddenly looked at her. “You said this information would give me the decisive advantage. Advantage in what?”

Kui Yue answered with ringing certainty, “Winning Young Master Wei’s heart, of course!”

Yugong Zhaoye: “…”

Kui Yue immediately lowered her eyes, meek as could be. “…This subordinate understands. Your Highness has absolutely no such intentions. Your Highness is merely competitive. You just want to win.”