As the year’s end approached, the weather grew even colder. In the latter half of the night, not even rats went outside, yet Zhou Ruo An heard someone knocking on the window.
In the Zhou family, he had only been assigned the most remote bedroom in the corner. It had probably been a painting studio before; when it was converted into his bedroom, a few old paintings were still left on the walls.
One of them showed a young girl in white. She was clearly smiling, yet somehow looked full of resentment. Whenever Zhou Ruo An met her gaze, he would inexplicably feel a little guilty.
In the villas of wealthy families, every bedroom had a terrace, large or small, each with a slightly different view.
Zhou Ruo An, however, felt nothing for the scenery outside. The Zhou family villa sat halfway up a mountain, with distant winds and nearby woods, dense and lush. But to Zhou Ruo An, it was nothing more than a patch of trees. Birds cried and frogs croaked, disturbing his sleep and annoying him to no end.
Now, someone stood on the terrace knocking on the window: three long knocks and one short, repeated twice.
Zhou Ruo An had heard that rhythm at doors and windows too many times. Every time he pushed one open, Lin Yi would be standing outside. Sometimes he brought news of urgent importance; sometimes he only came to deliver a skewer of candied hawthorn.
Without cigarettes, Zhou Ruo An dug out a coin instead. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he stared at the dark, heavy shadow reflected in the floor-to-ceiling window. The coin rose and fell. Whether it landed heads or tails, neither outcome pleased him.
＊
Lin Yi knocked on the window twice. The room remained silent. The cold night wind seemed capable of freezing everything, including a heart that was still beating.
He tightened his hat, turned, and gripped the terrace railing. Before he could swing a leg over, the floor-to-ceiling window behind him was pulled open with a sharp sound.
“You could at least give me time to put on some clothes.” Wrapped in a padded robe, Zhou Ruo An leaned against the doorframe. “How are you still this impatient?”
Lin Yi released the railing and turned to look at Zhou Ruo An. The room was unlit, but fortunately, the moonlight was bright enough for him to see the man clearly.
Yesterday at the nightclub, Lin Yi had not even looked directly at Zhou Ruo An. Now that he was looking at him, he saw that Zhou Ruo An had lost quite a bit of weight. His complexion was still all right, but his air had grown noticeably more gloomy.
“Aren’t you cold?” Zhou Ruo An asked.
Behind him was a warm room; in front of him was the icy night. As he asked the question, the tall, slender man stood at the boundary between warmth and cold, smiling as he sized up Lin Yi’s night-prowler getup, yet making no move to invite him inside.
For the sake of climbing walls and scaling windows, Lin Yi was indeed not wearing much. He took a step back and leaned against the railing. “I’m fine.”
The terrace was small; Zhou Ruo An could touch Lin Yi with one stretch of his hand. He pulled down the man’s black knit cap, and sure enough, saw the white bandage underneath.
“Does it still hurt?” Zhou Ruo An asked, then smiled. “Answer with a different word.”
There was a trace of amusement in Lin Yi’s eyes too. “It hurt yesterday. It’s better today.”
“You too. Yesterday, Bai Ban was framed, and anyone could tell it was aimed at me. They wanted to toy with me and humiliate me. So why did you still step forward?”
As Zhou Ruo An spoke, he curled his fingers. Lin Yi knew he was asking for a cigarette and cut off the end of his words. “I changed clothes. Didn’t bring any.”
He took a piece of candy from his pocket and tossed it to Zhou Ruo An. “Bai Ban still had to be saved. Besides, they held Bai Ban down for no other reason than to see me. We’ve been digging into them, and they’ve been digging into us too.”
Zhou Ruo An’s hand paused in the middle of unwrapping the candy. Slowly, he looked at Lin Yi. “Does Bai Ban know about me?”
“No. He just thinks you got lucky and were acknowledged by your family.”
Zhou Ruo An placed the candy in his mouth and looked at the wrapper in his hand. “This is the candy I gave you last year?”
“Mm.”
“I remember. Back then, I scammed a tough one and couldn’t handle it myself, so I had no choice but to come begging you.”
“Right. In the end, your thanks was this piece of candy, and now you’re eating it yourself.”
Zhou Ruo An sucked on the candy and smiled. As he smiled, the light in his eyes gradually scattered. “Sorry about yesterday.”
Lin Yi brushed the snow from the railing and rested his elbow on it, answering in an even tone. “There’s nothing to apologize for. In that situation, you shouldn’t have acknowledged me or Bai Ban. If you didn’t, they would only toy with us once. If you had spoken up for us, then anytime you made them unhappy in the future, Bai Ban and I would be the ones to suffer.”
“Mm.” Zhou Ruo An nodded. “I knew Brother Lin was smart. You understand.”
“How have things been lately?” Lin Yi asked.
At that, Zhou Ruo An pointed toward the two largest terraces on the second and third floors. “The Eldest Young Master and Second Young Master usually live in the city. They only come back to the old residence on weekends. As for Zhang Jin’s father…”
His speech paused slightly, then continued at once. “…since I entered this household, I’ve only seen Zhou Jing Tao once. He’s abroad on business right now, supposedly not coming back until before the New Year. His wife takes the Third Miss to the seaside every winter, so this house is currently left with just me and a few servants.”
Zhou Ruo An tugged at the corner of his mouth. “I’m pretty damn impressive, too. Such a huge house, and I’m the only master.”
The candy rolled once over his tongue before he added, “Actually, I can’t really count as a master either. Zhou Bin and Zhou Zhe treat me as entertainment, and the servants roll their eyes at me.”
His thin, slender fingers rubbed the coin, and his voice carried a lazy smile. “The situation right now is this: the two young masters like seeing me make a fool of myself, so I play the fool for them. If they like seeing me wag my tail, then I hold the bowl in my mouth and wag it as fast as I can.”
“And after that?” Lin Yi asked. “Are you going to keep living like this?”
Zhou Ruo An followed the sound and looked at the man before him, his voice like a dark tide gathering beneath the surface. “The Second Young Master is sweet-tongued but ruthless, full of ambition. As for the Eldest Young Master, whatever brains he’s missing must have grown down below. All day long, all he thinks about is crawling under women’s skirts. Even without me, the two of them are bound to have a vicious fight. In the future, all I need to do is wait for the right moment and slip in through the opening.”
Lin Yi smiled faintly. “With you around, they’ll only fight harder.”
Zhou Ruo An shrugged, hooking the candy with his tongue and pushing it into the other cheek.
It seemed everything that needed concern had already been concerned over. The space between them emptied out. The passing wind swept by in a hurry, carrying away the white mist of their breath.
Only after Zhou Ruo An adjusted the front of his robe again did Lin Yi ask, “Did you see the messages I sent you?”
The candy knocked lightly against Zhou Ruo An’s teeth. He coughed softly before he could stop himself. “I saw them.” Then, a little irritated, he added, “Lin Yi, sometimes your cursing is really filthy.”
“Why didn’t you reply? You even changed your phone number.”
Zhou Ruo An touched his nose, his tongue still sticky with sweetness as he licked his lips. “Because… it wasn’t convenient.”
“And from now on? Still inconvenient?”
Zhou Ruo An had always hated the sound of wind blowing through dense woods, but now he hoped those branches would shake even harder, preferably hard enough to cover the guilt in his voice.
“Lin Yi, you’re a smart man. You understand the principle that birds of a feather flock together. If I want to establish myself in this circle, I have to cut myself off from the other circle. Otherwise, just like last night, you’ll forever be a tool for others to laugh at me and toy with me, and I’ll forever be unable to shake off the stink of gutter trash.”
The moonlight remained bright, shining equally on that pale, porcelain-like face. Yet because his lashes were lowered, several shadows gathered beneath his eyes.
Lin Yi finally took a step forward, closing in on Zhou Ruo An. “So you’re going back on your word again?”
His broad hand abruptly closed around Zhou Ruo An’s throat. Looking down at him, Lin Yi said, “I shouldn’t have believed you, and I shouldn’t have held any expectations for you. Zhou Ruo An, you’re garbage.” His other hand settled on the smooth robe, slowly sliding down along the curve of Zhou Ruo An’s waist. “Even if you put on high-end clothes like this, you still can’t hide the smell of the gutter on you.”
“I’m a rat from the gutter, and I really do go back on my word all the time, but Lin Yi…” Zhou Ruo An met those cold eyes and tried to explain. “You’ve helped me so much. I won’t do that to you. Wait until I’ve secured my footing…”
“Shut up.” The force of the shove sent the back of Zhou Ruo An’s head slamming hard into the doorframe. The glass vibrated with a buzzing hum; his vision went black, briefly losing focus.
Once the first wave of pain passed, Zhou Ruo An slowly opened his eyes. On Lin Yi’s face, he saw the familiar ruthlessness he wore when beating people. “Zhou Ruo An, you still fucking dare say things like that to fool me? You’re only saying this because you’re afraid I’ll expose those filthy secrets of yours.”
“You won’t.” Because his throat was being gripped, Zhou Ruo An spoke with some difficulty. “Because you’re the kind of person who cares most about fairness. Lin Yi, you’ve helped me a lot, but don’t forget—I fucking risked my life for you too!”
The belt of his robe loosened. Zhou Ruo An pulled open the collar and exposed his left shoulder. “This scar is from taking a knife for you.”
Breaking free, Zhou Ruo An then went to tug at Lin Yi’s clothes. He dragged down the down jacket and shirt and found a knife scar in the same place on Lin Yi’s left shoulder. “Back then, that lunatic stabbed a bloody hole into you right here. I rushed over to save you and got stabbed too. Lin Yi, do you remember what you said afterward?!”
What had he said? Lin Yi froze.
Summer. Very hot. Bare-chested, Lin Yi sat on the windowsill and looked up at the sky. Beside him, Zhou Ruo An, wearing a racerback tank top, was fiddling with a cigarette. Smoke moved in and out of his mouth, never going any deeper than his throat.
Both of their left shoulders were covered with gauze. Zhou Ruo An looked at Lin Yi’s, then at his own, and burst out laughing. “Fuck, they look like goddamn couple scars.” He propped one leg up, rested his chin on his knee, and asked carelessly, “The first scar on my body was given to you. Are you going to repay me someday?”
Lin Yi re-taped the edge of the gauze curling up on Zhou Ruo An’s shoulder, then snatched his cigarette and put it into his own mouth. Looking up at the bright sky, he curved his lips slightly. “Remember it for me. When the time comes for me to repay you, don’t forget to remind me.”
＊
Cold wind swept over bare skin, carrying away the brightness of that memory. Lin Yi placed his hand on Zhou Ruo An’s left shoulder, his fingertips slowly rubbing over the raised knife scar.
“I remember now,” he said. His fingers moved upward little by little, brushing past Zhou Ruo An’s throat before pressing lightly against his lips. “I really should repay you.”
His fingertip pushed against Zhou Ruo An’s lips. Zhou Ruo An frowned and turned away, only for Lin Yi to clamp his jaw and force him back.
“Lin Yi, what the fuck are you doing—mm—”
Zhou Ruo An had only just spoken when his mouth was forced open. Lin Yi’s fingers were rough from years of gripping wooden sticks, and the pressure made Zhou Ruo An’s anger flare. He bit down hard.
Lin Yi seemed to frown, but the next moment, he tightened his grip on Zhou Ruo An’s jaw, forcing him to loosen his teeth.
The struggle lasted only a few breaths. Then Lin Yi finally found the half-melted candy and pulled it from Zhou Ruo An’s mouth.
Once the restraint was released, Zhou Ruo An coughed lowly. He yanked his robe back into place, covering his left shoulder, and cursed, “Lin Yi, are you fucking crazy? If you wanted the candy, I could’ve spat it out for you. You really are sick now!”
Lin Yi looked at the half-melted pink candy in his hand, then casually tossed it off the terrace. “You don’t deserve to eat my candy.”
As if unwilling to stay even a moment longer, he turned to leave, but the person behind him called out, “Wait.”
Zhou Ruo An walked to the bedside, opened the drawer of the nightstand, and took out several stacks of money.
He held them out to Lin Yi. “Take this money. Zhou Jing Tao gave it to me.”
“U.S. dollars?” Lin Yi’s expression did not change, and his question came light as air. “Breakup fee or hush money?”
“Call it whatever you want.” Zhou Ruo An pushed the money into Lin Yi’s hands. “Lin Yi, forget the Zhou Ruo An who used to be covered in filth.”
Lin Yi fell silent for a while, then split the money between his two pockets. He neatly climbed over the railing, jumped down, rolled with the motion, and steadied himself.
When he stood again, his figure held a trace of cold detachment. He raised his head and looked at Zhou Ruo An standing on the terrace, then said softly, “I thought we’d face the fourth meaning together.”
Zhou Ruo An gripped the railing and leaned out slightly. “What did you say?”
“Nothing.” Lin Yi waved a hand as he turned away. “We won’t meet again, Young Master Zhou.”